Chords that Bind Ch. 10

As Cecilia carried the tray up the stairs, she heard James finish running through his scales, and start her favourite piece again. She felt her heartbeat quicken. 'Be brave' she told herself, but as the music grew louder with each ascendant step, Cecilia felt a new set of instincts kick in. She kept her feet quiet, and mercifully, didn't drop the tray or rattle the teacup in its saucer. There was a table against the wall, and Cecilia set the tray down. James hadn't noticed her come in. He was too absorbed in the music. Cecilia was glad. She didn't want him to stop, and wasn't quite prepared for the intensity that crackled in the air. He was so talented, and Cecilia felt insignificant next to his display of aptitude.

Uncertainty passed through her, and without pausing for too much reflection, Cecilia knelt on the floor, assuming the position of presentation that Master had taught her. A settled contentment passed through her. She was finally going to get her answers.

James finished the second movement of the Pathetique, and moved to the third, but something was distracting him. It was irritating. Something was different in the room, and after he played a natural where a sharp was called for, James stopped in frustration, wondering what was off. He breathed deeply, annoyed at letting imaginary distractions get the better of his playing. But that was it! As he inhaled, he smelled toast and tea! Except, Clara was at rehearsal already...

James stood from the bench and turned around. He was startled to see Cecilia kneeling. No, she was presenting herself, dressed up, and with his breakfast laid out behind her on a tray. James felt himself grow hard. She was the image of perfect, demure, submission. This had to be a dream. He had been having lots of those lately. Cecilia featured in most of them, and that was why he had been practicing late into the night, and early in the morning. Even his dreams were unsafe to the girl he claimed to be helping.

He blinked his eyes and shook himself. He wasn't dreaming. Cecilia was there in his studio. How long had she been there? James tried to gather himself. "Cecilia, get up. What are you doing down there?"

Cecilia's training was taking over, replacing her fear with the type of boldness that was possible only in a submissive. "Waiting on your pleasure Sir."

"No. Cecilia. Stop this. We went over this. You're free. I don't want anything from you." He watched her take a sharp inhalation. James felt bad for that, so he added: "Thank you for bringing up breakfast though."

"You're welcome Sir."

James took hold of her bicep, and exerted upward force, trying to bring her to a standing position.

Cecilia didn't know how she knew what to say, "Sir, please."

She was going to undo him. James was sure of it. He needed to get her out of there and away from him. Her breathy plea was intoxicating. She was everything he wanted, even now, so eager to please. "What Cecilia?" James made himself sound impatient, hoping to scare her away, but despising the rudeness.

"Don't. Just... I wanted to know."

"Know what?" James had to keep this short. They grey, merino wool dress she was wearing was soft and clung so perfectly to Cecilia's form. It was a classy fit, but somehow devilishly sexy too.

"Why me?" It had been a question she'd asked a few times now, but this time she asked the only one who could answer it honestly. "Why did you pick me?"

James released his hold on her and stepped back as if he had been scalded by her touch. Maybe he had, she was achy with arousal from watching him play. She felt the familiar desire course through her.

"I didn't. I didn't pick you. I told you, it was a mistake. I didn't know what I was setting in motion. Lace, the man you called 'Master', runs a website that's part matchmaking service and part social networking platform for people in the lifestyle. That's what it appears to be. It's the public face of his business and the legal front for his criminal dealings in trafficking. I wrote him, hoping he could match me with a woman. I was in a bad place, I didn't know that there was kidnapping involved. I thought it was a roundabout way of dating. All of it appeared legit. He took my profile, my likes and dislikes, and he matched you to that description."

Cecilia was heated. He had described his ideal woman, and someone else had determined that she, Cecilia Alejandra Lavigne, was the right match. So that meant James did want everything that had been done to her. Right?

"But you came that day..." He voice was soft and questioning, but James knew she was waiting to hear his admission of guilt.

"I did. I didn't know until that day that he was a criminal."

"You wanted me though."

James swallowed. "Cecilia, you don't have to worry about any of that anymore..."

"Did he show you photos of me?" she challenged. Cecilia was irritated that he was avoiding her question.

"I- yes."

"And you wanted me." It was simple statement of truth at this point. James was helpless. What would hurt her more? The lie or the truth? He took a few more steps away from her.

Cecilia didn't relent, matching him step for step. "Didn't you?" Something was desperate in her voice. James wasn't going to make a fool out of her.

"Yes. I did." James felt relief and revulsion at the words. He was a monster for what he had done, but at least he was still man enough to admit it.

Cecilia nodded. Not breathing or speaking, she gracefully slid to the floor. She had her answer.

He had wanted her. The man who had become her quiet savior had looked at her from far away and desired her. It was the first time anyone had said that, admitted that, or made her feel wanted. She had been wet before, from the music, but now she felt her body tighten from the inside out and felt all her sweet spots tingle with awareness.

It was much easier this way, on her knees with her eyes downcast. He had never made a single demand of her. Something had changed inside Cecilia irrevocably. And rather than try to make sense of it, she wanted to give into it. James had paid for her, saved her. She wanted him to take what he had paid for. She could trust him with her body; he had already been taking care of her well being for months now.

Cecilia was shaking on her knees, drawing on her last bit of courage. "Don't you want me still?"

Gods! She was shaking like a leaf. He had terrified her with his admission. James couldn't hide his iron-hard arousal, and she was reverting to behavior she had learned would keep her safe. "Cecilia, no... stop it."

"You bought my freedom. Take it." Her voice wavered, but didn't break. She was so innocently seductive. He nearly forgot she was a virgin, kneeling there like a vision, the answer to all his dark proclivities.

He pulled her up again, intending to send her downstairs and leave him with his guilt, but she pressed her hands to his chest, and looked at him with eyes that always seemed to be shifting into different hues. She was ready to cry. "Please," she breathed again.

James bowed his head, giving into temptation, tasting her lips, probing her mouth with his tongue. After months of keeping stringent control on himself James felt all control slip from his grasp, instead firmly holding the beautiful submissive who had literally thrown her life at his feet. It was everything he wanted. She tasted so pure, letting him direct the kiss, clinging to him as if the world would disappear under her feet.

He pushed her against the wall, pressing the full length of his body against her. Cecilia was frightened and exhilarated. This had never happened to her before, and now that she didn't need to have courage, it had abandoned her, letting her absorb the intensity of an unbridled James M Ashton. She whimpered as she felt the wall brace her, and felt the heat radiating off of James' body. His fingers were in her hair, and the slight stubble on his cheeks abraded her gently as she gave into James directions, finally having her first kiss. Neediness was pooling at her sex. Cecilia didn't know what else to do, so she let James take control.

She was pliant and giving. James held the back of her head in one hand, and let his hand sneak under the hem of her dress. She was so warm and smooth. He could feel how hot she was. He broke the kiss for the briefest of moments to look down at her. The trust was there in her eyes, and her body was somehow already obedient to his wishes. She parted her legs ever so slightly more, giving him access, inviting. He'd mussed her curls badly, but thought she looked even sexier that way, pushed up against the wall of his studio, begging for him with her eyes.

He wasn't about to disappoint her, not after that display. He brought his feet inside hers, preventing her from closing her legs or denying him access. She wasn't going to be able to change her mind. With both hands he folded her dress up, revealing her black boy shorts. Her hips swayed towards his hands provocatively. Cecilia's hands returned to his hair, her nails combing his scalp, sending silly amounts of pleasure through him. James groaned in appreciation. He sent his finger over the front of her panties, and Cecilia moaned. She was soaked. He grabbed her hand, and guided it to where his fingers had just touched. He pushed it further, underneath her panties, and withdrew it quickly, seeing her gasp as he sucked her finger into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around her finger, lapping the muskiness, giving her a quick bite. Another gasp. Beautiful. So stunning. He ached to be inside her, but not yet. He was going to reward his perfect creature first.

James peeled away her wet knickers, drawing them further down her legs, and delved a finger into Cecilia's sex. She threw her head back. Cecilia had never been free to enjoy this until now. It hadn't been possible before. Now, with her conscious assertion that she was eager to submit to James, all the pleasure that had been barred to her before was at his fingertips. As James let her adjust to the intrusion, he rubbed her clit with his thumb. She pumped her hips. It was so good, so much better than what she had achieved on her own. "Thank you Sir", she whispered. "Please. More. Please let me come." She was on the brink. Cecilia felt all the stress coiling inside her.

When James heard her begging he stilled. He saw the desperation and willingness on Cecilia's face, and saw himself for what he was: a predator.

How had she known to ask? How had she known he wanted her to beg him first? The answer was simple: Lace had trained her to ask. He yanked the dress back over her thighs, and backed away quickly. He brought a hand to his face, ashamed. It didn't help that her scent was on his hands. He turned so he wouldn't have to face her.

No! Master was punishing her again. No, no, it was James who was punishing her this time, leaving her helpless and on edge. What had she done? She thought he would be so pleased. "Sir?" No, that wasn't formal... "Master?" Cecilia wanted to know what she had done. Maybe it was because she failed to address him properly.

"Don'tcall me that." James voice was deadly serious. He was angry.

"Please? What did I do?"

"Nothing. Stop it Cecilia." He wouldn't look at her. "Straighten yourself up." It was a command, and despite her unfulfilled need, Cecilia didn't delay, feeling dirty and unwanted as she adjusted her dress and pulled her panties back up. She was loosing her footing, not understanding what had happened.

"James? What did I do? Why are you punishing me?" James could hear her voice trying to remain calm through the tears.

"I'm not. I'm not punishing you Cecilia. You need to leave." James tried to keep his voice even, but every word was laced with anger.

Cecilia couldn't believe he was sending her away. She had thought... He wanted her, didn't he? Just seconds ago he had kissed her. Her chest was swelling as if her heart were suddenly too big to be contained.

"But- Sir- I- I don't understand..."

"Understandthis! Stay away from me Cecilia. Stayfaraway from me." James had lost his grip entirely.

"You said you wanted me."Nowwas when Cecilia chose to accuse him, James thought. Not after admitting that he had been the reason Lace kidnapped her and abused her. Cecilia decided to cast judgment, decided to be hurt, because he was trying to protect her. It frustrated James to no end, but he endured her accusation. "You said I was what you wanted, that that was why I'm here..." Cecilia was trying to figure out her place in the world, and James was unraveling her understanding of everything.

"Cecilia, listen to me! I'm the reason you were hurt. That's my entire fault. Don't you understand what I told you?" James needed her to hate him. He didn't deserve her friendship, let alone her submission. He hadn't earned it.

"NO! I don't. Why are you-?"

James cut her off. "EVERYTHING.EVERYTHINGthat man did to you, ALL OF IT, was because of me! Don't you understand?I did that to you. Your fear, your surrender, the spankings, the bondage... I wanted all of that from a girl who would submit to me! I'm dangerous to you! I DID that to you! You aren't safe with me! You should hate me!" James yelled at her, satisfied that she was shrinking away from him.

He decided protecting her required him to say more. He needed to convince her. "I DON'T want you. Get out of my studio! Stay away from me! I don't want you after everything that's happened. There is nothing between us!"

Cecilia had backed up, but felt rooted to the spot. She could barely see through her tears, but she felt James' shouts wrack her body: He didn't want her. He hated her.

James wasn't satisfied yet. He stepped close to her, and for a moment, Cecilia thought he would kiss her again and stem the flow of tears and pain. Instead he pushed her roughly. Speaking as evenly as his temper would allow, he looked at her, watching her flinch as he gave her a final dismissal, "Get. Out."

Cecilia bit her lip. She ran downstairs and locked herself in her room, hugging her knees. She was first afraid James would return and punish her for what she had done; becoming sad now that she knew he wouldn't. She shamelessly threw herself at him. Instead of being turned on, he saw her as trash, damaged goods. She was dirty, contaminated; the unwanted result of an experiment with unintended consequences. Cecilia felt as if she were nothing more than an obligation.

James had said over and over the whole thing was a mistake. She had tried to read into it, hoping that her hero, the man who rescued her, felt something for her. But he was just being kind until he could be rid of her for good. She sobbed, heartbroken, for hours. After making herself so vulnerable she learned the truth: 'This is what you get for being a whore!' Her mother lectured her inside her mind. 'No good man will want you. He has class and talent, what would someone like that want with a uselessputalike you?' Cecilia's mother was right. James had been repulsed by her behavior, and Cecilia was shocked too. What had come over her? She never acted that way before. Now she knew why. The sting of rejection hurt worse than any of the injuries she had accrued up to now. She'd never been foolish enough or brave enough. No one had ever wanted her before; it was a child's fantasy to hope that someone like James could want her.

Upstairs, James was shaking. He had to get a grip. He shouldn't have yelled. But he had been so close to... Who was he kidding? Hehadbeen taking advantage of a poor traumatized girl. It didn't matter what she said, Cecilia was in no condition to make these kinds of decisions for herself yet. He had done the right thing. He knew because again, his heart was fracturing, wishing he could take back everything he had done to the poor girl. She would have been better off if he had never seen her. In the safe haven of his studio, James silently wept.

Cecilia pulled herself together. She didn't want to have to tell Clara, or worse, Abraham, why she'd been crying. She washed her face, and fixed her hair. She needed to pretend nothing was wrong. She had the answers she'd been seeking: He may have wanted her before, but he didn't want her now.