Christmas Delivery

CHRISTMAS DELIVERY

(You Just Thought You Knew)

Copyright © JK Maness Writing as SWMOHermit

December 19 2022

An exhausted Santa landed his sleigh at the north pole late Christmas morning. He was so tired he almost staggered walking from the muddy, ice laden sleigh toward his house. He could see the warm light escaping from the snow and ice covered building, and even as tired as he was appreciated all the cheerful multicolored Christmas lights decorating everything in sight. The thought of some of Mrs. Clause's wonderful cookies and several tots of eggnog caused his faltering steps to propel him forward slightly faster.

Santa never even looked back at the merry elves unharnessing the reindeer and pushing the dirty sleigh into its garage for cleaning and refurbishment after this, the last night of delivery for this holiday season. The reindeer gladly followed the elves into their barn and happily began munching on their meals while reveling in the brushes and warm, soapy water while the elves cleaned and massaged their exhausted bodies.

Just as Santa reached his door it flew open and Dorrie, one of his house elves smiled in greeting while stepping back and saying, "Welcome home Santa. Your bath is ready and the bathing room is nice and toasty warm for you."

Santa reveled in the wonderful smells that wafted out the door to him just before he stepped into the house. Even after eating thousands of cookies and drinking untold glasses of milk, his mouth watered. Just inside the door stood a smiling Butler Elf, Jeeves. Santa unfastened his heavy coat and handed it to Jeeves as he walked by, heading for a much needed bath, longing for a long hot soak. He'd been dreaming of his soak almost since taking off the night before.

He entered the bathroom and quickly finished undressing, dropping his soiled clothes on the floor. When he stepped into the tub and sat down, the just-right water temperature immediately felt hot, then, after he acclimated, perfect and relaxing. It would be so easy to go to sleep in the so comfortable tub.

Santa had barely leaned back before Mrs. Claus bustled into the room carrying a tray with fresh, hot cookies and his eggnog. She sat the refreshments on the table beside the soaking tub and seated herself on a chair nearby, carefully smoothing her skirts after doing so. She said, "Did you have a good run tonight, Santa?"

The not-so-jolly gentleman slowly turned his head to look at Mrs. C before he answered, "I suppose. It's been a long season and I'm exhausted. It becomes more difficult every year. The world's population keeps growing and growing. I don't know how much longer I can keep going. We only have a week a year off now. Every elf in the country is working for us now and we barely keep up with demand. What will we do when they can't keep up? How will the children get their presents when I can't keep up?"

'I'm sure you'll think of something dear. You always do. Look how much easier your night is since you began the year around delivery schedule."

"I know. I shudder to think about trying to deliver all those gifts on Christmas Eve. My magic reservoir is almost depleted now as it is. I don't think I could do that now just because of the magic depletion. It's bad enough having to magically hide the early gifts until Christmas Eve. Adding the spells to have the gifts follow people that move after delivery just depletes my magic worse, then, of course, I have to add a spell that returns gifts for those unfortunates who pass on during the year. And we don't want to forget the spells to convert gifts to lumps of coal for the bad boys and girls. I'm just exhausted. Like I said, I don't know how much longer this can go on."

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out dear. You'll feel much better after our vacation. I've found such a wonderful place for us this year. We have an entire week on a small, secluded island in the South Pacific. The bungalow has a wonderful pool, a hot tub and a sandy beach just a few steps away. I'm sure it'll rejuvenate and revitalize you. Now, don't be long and don't spoil your appetite with too many cookies and eggnog. Cook says our feast will be ready soon."

Mrs. Clause stood quickly and left the room while Santa leaned back with another sigh. He was almost asleep when Jeeves, efficient as always, entered the room with an armful of clothes. "Your lounging attire, Sire," he said.

Santa groaned and reluctantly climbed out of the tub, taking the proffered towel from Jeeves. After he was dry Santa dressed and wandered toward the lounge to await his Christmas repast. Sometimes he wondered how he managed to eat all those cookies and drink all the milk left for him on Christmas Eve and still do justice to his Christmas Day repast. He was exceedingly thankful for all the help concerned parents gave him with that task. He fleetingly wondered if he needed to add a spell to the ones already placed on the early deliveries to take care of the cookies and milk at those homes.

A short time later, Jeeves entered Santa's lounge, closed the door and approached the rosy cheeked old man. He was carrying a freshly cleaned and pressed Santa suit and said, "Sir, it is time to dress for your celebratory meal. The elves are gathered and Mrs. Clause is waiting for you."

Santa groaned while rising for his chair, wishing he could just relax beside the fire longer but, duty called. He allowed Jeeves to assist him with his clothes as normal before he headed for the banquet. Santa did take a moment to step into his private toilet for a quick look in the mirror, just to be sure he looked proper before leaving. He wondered why he bothered examining himself but habits die hard. Jeeves was so efficient and meticulous Santa never found even a hair out of place if Jeeves helped him dress.

Santa and Mrs. Clause walked into a supremely noisy banquet hall, elves everywhere laughing, talking and engaged in happy hijinks. All wanted to talk to the Jolly Old Man. The noise rose, then died slightly as they all lined up in a receiving line for him and Mrs. C to walk. Each elf received what they most desired from the Jolly Couple plus kind words and even a hug or two. None of the elves knew how difficult it was for Santa to smile and maintain his jolly demeanor. Finally Santa made it to the end of the line and took his seat at a table laden with gustatory goodies.

After he finished his excellent Christmas repast, Santa and Mrs. Claus retired to the sitting room to allow the meal to digest. It had taken longer this year to exit the large dining room because there were even more elves to thank and speak with than normal and many wanted to talk with Santa again after the meal. No sooner than they took their seats, Jeeves arrived with tow glasses of eggnog for the old couple. While sipping his 'nog, Santa again wondered how he could find more help for his manufacturing facility.

Early the next morning the now slightly more rested Santa and Mrs. Claus boarded the now sparkling sleigh for a quick trip to their vacation resort. Later that afternoon, while soaking up the sun and sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them he watched one of the worldwide news networks on his tablet.

Santa almost spilled his drink when he jerked upright and yelled, "That's it! I have it,"

Mrs. C jumped when she heard the Jolly Old Man and quietly asked, "What Dear?"

"I know how we can make things easier for all and handle the population surge."

"That's nice Dear. I knew you could do it. Tell me."

"I don't know why I didn't think about it before. It's brilliant. We hire humans to do the work. I've been listening to news trying to catch up and it hit me. Many of the nations have rampant unemployment. We just let the humans build many of the toys and we deliver them. I don't know why I didn't think of this years ago."

"But what of the Elves, Dear? What will they do if you let the humans build your toys?"

"We'll only let them build the ones we need help with and let our Elves continue building the simpler ones they enjoy building. We can even cut their hours so they don't have to work so long. It'll give them a better quality of life and, hopefully reduce the strife and arguments."

"But what about your deliveries Dear? You'll still have problems with them will you not?"

"No, I understand there are dozens of delivery services worldwide. I simply spell the toys before we package them and let the delivery services make our deliveries for us. Why, if I wanted to, I could completely stop flying all over the world and let them do it all."

"Oh you wouldn't! Surely you can't mean that?"

"No, no, of course not. I will still make deliveries, just not as many. I'll only do the more remote locations and let the delivery companies do them in the highly populated areas. I'll even continue making deliveries where it's beneficial to let someone catch a glimpse of me on Christmas Eve."

"Oh, that's brilliant! But I understand the humans require money to perform their deliveries and trade for their toys. How will we pay them?

"Hummm, there is that." Santa leaned back once again and took another sip of his drink while he thought of the little money problem, occasionally listening to a human drone on and on about this and that on his tablet.

Once again, Santa jerked upright and this time he said, "I've got it. It's so simple I can't believe I didn't think of it myself."

Again Mrs. C looked over at her husband and inquired, "What Dear?"

"The money. I know how to get money from the humans. They have many places where people can donate money for different causes. We merely have some of the Technical Elves make us a website to accept donations from the humans. They donate money and we use it for purchasing toys and delivering them. It's brilliant! Why we can cut our workload to almost nothing and still keep millions of young ones happy and excited on the most Wonderful Day of the Year! In addition, we provide employment for more humans."

Mrs. C was so excited she jumped from her lounger and bounced over to Santa, knocking him to the sandy beach when she pounced on him. She proceeded to give him her very best hug and kisses.

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW WE CAME TO HAVE OUR HORRIBLY COMMERCIALIZED CHRISTMAS!