Chuckie 01

Chuckie 01

Hi there, I'm Chuckie, without a "y", please and thank you, because that spooky little doll character from the movies scares the bejesus out of me and that's coming from me, someone who has been known to investigation spooky stuff. And phooey on my friend, Quinn, who says that things go bump in the night all the time, especially since my story starts out with something spooky that happened some 60 years ago in the city of Middleton where I live, phooey, I say.

Anyways, if you knew me way back when, you knew me as Charley, the quiet one in math class and if you know me today, then you probably know that my transition now includes small implants because yep, I'm that committed. I wasn't quite ready for the healing process, wow, but things have settled down and in and LOL, and I know that some of you want to feel me up!

However, you should know that you'll get much more out of that than I will because, damn it, I didn't think about how there are no internal erotic connections! Not that I can't tell that you're getting what you wanted, but still, to me, it's just chest grabbing, groping and suckling. I say without complaining.

And yes, folks, I know what it's like to be groped and squeezed up there because I do date and I've dated that far once with the guy named Ted, um, Teddy, but I needed to know if they worked, right? I mean, they worked for Teddy and they worked Teddy into a frenzy, even though I went with a smaller size, but still, these doctors need to start working on the erotic internal connections too!

But I like my new look and how I finally fill out a shirt and the only regrets I have are, OMG, guys gawk at boobs all the time and it is very uncomfortable sometimes, like all the time! And I only return that with a smirk because I know what you want. But you better settle in your mind that you'll be feeling up a Boi with boobs, right?

And I suppose that type of gawking comes with the territory and it was my decision and trust me, I'm big on wearing a hoodie or a light jacket anyways, so, things balance out, I guess. But, tee he, I know darn well that you want to know what it feels like (smirks).

Also, LOL, it's the same to you from your end.

But before you start dropping comments about your chance to find out if they are the same to you, I mean, I do (will) date, but I will run a background check if I don't know you, so, just don't be a harden criminal. And don't have excessive facial hair. Scrub is cool, but that's about my limit.

And that's enough about my transitional commitments.

Anyways, I live pretty good and I do my best to stay in the loop and even though I might be near the rear of the crowd, I'm still there, I'm still participating and I'm very pleasantly engaging with as many people as possible and I know that some of you like how I stay to the rear of the crowd because I know it can be tough for a guy to hustle a Boi in public. But I really like the hustle game and I've become pretty good at clapping back and smirking, so, that's okay.

And body bumping, I'm big on body bumping while chit chatting in the shadows, just as long as I start it first and I only start it based on the background check that I previously ran on you, so, I'm definitely not a prude, so, don't be rude and wait for me to do something lewd first, LOL.

So, my latest "staying in the loop" adventure involves a spooky tradition or a legend, I'm not sure which it is really, along the banks of the Middleton River to honor or celebrate a legend called 64Terror, where some 60 years ago, something bad happened on the dinner river boat of the time. I think it was a fire or something and I'm not even sure there were any injuries, but something bad happened on the river and it's remembered and celebrated today.

Now, I'm not making light of anything that may have happened, way, way, way back then, but the truth is, today, it seems more like another one of Mrs. Bentley's "must be seen in attendance" events than anything else, but it's something to do and hey, it has a spooky element, so, I was all in. Besides, what's the worse that could happen since I'm 22 and the 64Terror happened some 60 years ago, right?

But to give the event their due and a glow up, I mean, they deck out the current dinner river boat with string after string of LED lights and that's actually pretty cool looking. And also, to the events credit, lots of people would love to get their hands on a remembrance dinner riverboat ticket as opposed to lining the riverbanks as spectators, but unless your bank account needs to be protected by a gator infested moat, you're not that getting on the gloat float boat!

The spectacle, I mean, the remembrance dinner float, may have been taken over by the hob knob shiny people, who may use the spectacle, I mean, the annual river dinner boat as a means of gloating as they float past all of the people who line the river banks, but I suppose that type of thing happens.

Anyways, it is what it is and more power to the 30 under 30 younger dinner guests and the 20 over 40 top elites of the city, I said as nicely as possible, the end.

Oh, did I mention that I live well and could easily afford breast implants?

But not me because all that fancy flashy shiny stuff just isn't my style. Well, I like Rave party shiny and flashy and all, but not all that "my wrist watch cost more than your car" stuff.

I mean, there is no way I'm getting on a boat no more than I'm getting into a running car where there are guys who might like what they see and alcohol. I mean, I like the flirting game as much as the next person, but nope, I have no interest in becoming the game during the hunt. And that's not to say that you and I can't play games because that's totally different.

Anyways, did I mention that a lot of people would love to be one of the fifty patrons on the fancy rich river boat to celebrate their wealth, I mean the 64Terror legend? It's three hours mingling to the max! LOL, and a lot of drinking and don't even ask me when the remembrance comes into play, but be there one way or another because Mrs. Bentley takes attendance! From the comfort of the gloat float boat with her binoculars and glass of Champagne, of course.

So, one more thing about the "gloat it" dinner boat float on the anniversary of 64Terror event. Legend has it that if there is a full moon on the anniversary, like they had some 60 years ago, it's said that a brief glimpse of the tragedy can be seen as a reflection on the glimmer of the river's surface, if the surface is calm enough and if you're up high enough, like on the old abandoned walking bridge. And I'm not into nighttime investigations anymore, no matter what anyone says, but spooky things still seem to capture my interest, so, yeah, I was going to check that out improbable water reflection from atop of the old bridge.

And phooey to those who say that it's just a projected hologram.

And since I already said what I said about not getting on a boat with a kidnapping galley, I had little need for the two event tickets that my fancy and shiny auntie tossed my way because to her, lounging in the Caribbean is more of her style than worrying about ending up on her old arch rival, Mrs. Bentley's, list.

And if I didn't mention it, plenty of people are dying to get on that boat.

And I do weird things sometimes, but I blame that on the program that I'm on. But I have fun with it.

[The Boutique Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Excuse me, Chuckie, but why does your hair look almost exactly like my hair, hmm?"

"I mean, Quinn, it's imperative to my spooky view of the 64Terror event from the old bridge, so?"

"OMG, another nighttime investigation? I thought you gave those up since you posted last Spring that you're through with nighttime investigations, even though, ahem, they are your thing and all. And I'd bring up the fact that things go bump in the night all the time, like your method of flirting, but right now, I have to ask, why are you wearing those stone washed faded high waisted jeans since those are my trademark jeans, hmm, Chuckie?"

"Oh, they are imperative to my spooky night out to protect my legs, Quinn, so? And stop saying that I'm into nighttime investigations because I just told tens of people that I'm not anymore, sheesh."

"Okay, White Barn Owl Hunter, so, the 3/4 sleeve pullover with the slightly ruffled cuffs since that's also another trademark of mine, hmm?"

"Oh, it's imperative to protect my arms during my nighttime investigation, I mean, my spooky night of watching a holographic re-enactment of the 64Terror event, so?"

"Well, I'm not even going to ask why you're wearing an open hoodie to show off that you went the way of the boob implants since I have the feeling that I already know that answer, so, I'll just ask what the meaning of all this is then, Chuckie because I'm trying to close up my boutique shop, so, ugh, I can be seen along the river banks because that's a must for this event, so, spill it then."

"Oh, well, Quinn, you had better close up shop quick because the river boat starts granting permission to board in 40 minutes down at the southern docks, so?"

"Hah, like I have a ticket for that fancy dog and pony show, that is the mingling event of the year, so, keep spilling it because so far, it's just your boots that are wet from the spillage of the tea and OMG, your boots are exactly like my trademark boots!"

Did I mention my commitment to stuff, folks?

Also, huh, did I mention that the dinner river boat tickets actually say "grants permission to board one soul" right on the face of the ticket? I guess it's a real thing to grant permission to board a boat, right? And be nice with your comments back about that because I just said that, nope, I'm going to end up in the galley of a boat, especially since boats and rope go together, hand in hand, so.

"Thirty-eight minutes and counting down, Quinn and it's of my opinion that [flips out two tickets] you would feel comfortable in a two sizes too small leotard as a shirt, a white bra for full moon highlighting of that stretched out area, some low riding jeans, with a nice jacket and the best heels that you can handle while mingling on a boat deck that may or may not rock a bit with the river current, so?"

"Hah, like Rob would be happy about that because since we went out once, I mean, he's all "I'm the boyfriend now" and I'm sure that he streams the TV3 news broadcast of Mrs. Bentley's attendance list while he's working behind the front desk at the No Roof Motel front desk. I have to be seen on video, Chuckie, seen on video, I say!"

[Quinn pauses for a moment and then realizes that she's looking at a get out of jail free reflection]

"Oh, oh, I mean, Chuckie, I mean, um, by chance, I mean, do nighttime investigators ever get caught on video then, Chuckie? Like a glimpse here and there, like maybe just enough to provide a time stamped alibi or something, I mean, I'm asking for a friend, so?"

"Well, duh! It's imperative! And we're really good at flirting with the camera and a glimpse through the hanging hair bunches is just about all the camera gets, so, why can't Nancy close up the shop because the granting of the permission to board is down to thirty-three minutes, so?"

[Oh, Nancy had a response to that right quick!]

"Or, or, or, we can change into the two sizes two small leotards and hip hugger jeans that I just picked out already, while pretending not to listen to the two you two bickering about a free pass and let's get with it together because that dinner gloat it, float boat is fat with guys with coin!

[Nancy pauses to open Chuckie's slightly open hoodie just a little more, but just to see what all the fuss is about]

"Damn, Chuckie, respect since those boobie bumps those fit your chest perfectly like they grew there, but listen..."

[Oh, Quinn was having none of that bickering!]

"Excuse me! We can discuss Chuckie's 32Bs at our next sleep over because right now, I have a free pass to be seen on status video and mingle it up with the fancy shiny 30 under 30 people!"

I think Nancy was going to say that I could have gone one size up, but, nope, they are perfect for me, just as she said before Quinn cut her off.

[Smash, bang, The Boutique Shop front door chime, um, it can be fixed tomorrow, so]

And tee he, I should have scribbled on the back of the "permission granted to board one soul" ticket that I had permission to watch them change! I mean, it was quite in a fury and in a hurry, but still, those two ladies have it going on with their bodies. Which might be code for no matter what I do, ugh, I can't manage much of a hip curve line. I have almost everything else, but not that curve!

LOL, like you're going to care as you make out with me and feel me up, right?

And for the record, damn, the old abandoned walking bridge is just as spooky as any reflection on the water surface from the full moon! And I wasn't the first one there.

[Introducing the Ned and Jed show, sitting on the bridge surface with their backs to bridge railing wall]

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I don't even know [exhales], do you know what I mean, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I know what you mean [exhales] because I know things that I don't even know, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, do you know why Quinn [exhales] is running solo tonight, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I don't know [exhales] but I do know that Rob would be pissed if he knew we were gawking at her like this, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, it's legit since she's [exhales] the one leaning over the railing like that, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, take a photo and send [exhales] it to Rob, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, give me your phone so Rob [exhales] gets pissed off at you for creeping his future girlfriend, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, okay [exhales], wait, what, dude?"

[Photo, photo, tap, tap, text sent]

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, this is some good [exhales] stuff, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I know that for sure [exhales], but is that Quinn just over there, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I think so [exhales], but I don't see Rob around, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, what were we talking [exhales] about before, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I was asking you if I had a third eye ball [exhales] that closes every time that I look into a mirror, so I never see it, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, that's crazy [exhales] because I can see your third eye ball right now, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, tee he, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, tee he, dude."

[Warning, the Jed and Ned show are buds who love the bud]

And unfortunately, associated with my "do my boobs work" date, Ted.

Also, it was exciting to have my shirt removed that night and a couple of real "ta da" delights popped out!

"Hi guys, hi Jed, hi Ned, so? Where's my hey there, hey, Ted at, hmm?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, is Quinn [exhales] talking to us, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, is Quinn [exhales] trying to poke me in my middle third eye, dude?"

Success. Not the poking of Jed in his third eye in the middle part because I was just wagging my finger at him, but Quinn has been officially seen once.

"Can I see that creep shot you just took of me while I was leaning over the bridge railing, hmm?"

Well, the thing about buds who love the bud so much, I mean, I could have snatched their sedan car and they wouldn't have known it, so.

[Flips though stored photos in phone]

"Oh, this is very nice and I approve of it since my booty looks this shapely when leaning over the railing, so, good job, guys, good job, but no more than 12 more photos for the rest of the night, okay?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, is Quinn [exhales] our girlfriend now, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, is Quinn [exhales] a triplet because I see three of her, dude?"

[Waves arm downwards and across] presenting the Ned and Jed show once again.

[Weep, an incoming text from somewhere]

"Quinn baby, watch being on that bridge! It's dangerous."

[Whoop, an outgoing response from somewhere]

"Rob, bridge? Oh, I mean, I have my trademark boots on tonight! I'm OK"

[Weep, an incoming text from somewhere]

"Ur booty looks good leaning over like that, Quinn!"

[Whoop, an outgoing response from somewhere]

"Rob, we're not there yet!"

[Weep, an incoming text from somewhere]

"But I can take my phone into the restroom stall, right, Quinn?"

[Whoop, an outgoing response from somewhere]

"Rob, ewe! I mean, phone dying, bye."

Oh, well then, I've often wondered if any of my selfies end up the middle stall of the No Roof Motel, so, tee he, another success! I think, I don't know, but it's not "ewe" because regular guys jack off all the time, right? It's normal and healthy, so, let's go with that.

"Quinn? What the, oh, wait, Chuckie? What the hell are you doing? I mean, up here on this rickety old bridge, what are you doing up here on the rickety old bridge, huh? Well, and why do you look so much like Quinn tonight, hmm?"

"Oh, Ted, I mean, well, I'm waiting to see if it's true that a glimpse of the river dinner boat tragedy can be caught shimmering on the river's surface of the 64Terror event and this is my spooky nighttime investigation look, that's all. Also, I'm keeping my middle eye on your bud loving buds just over there against the bridge wall, so?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, is that our Ted [exhales] flirting with Quinn, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I think so, but [exhales] we should shut it, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, but we're going [exhales] to watch, right, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I'm not going [exhales] anywhere, not that I could, dude."

Well, when your buds love the bud, that's what happens, I guess.

"Well, Chuckie, I mean, you're here all alone on the bridge with your camera phone, so, what do I mean by that, huh?"

"Oh, Ted, I don't know what you mean by that, other than it might mean that I'm no longer alone up here on the bridge, so, um, is that something that you might mean, hmm?"

"I mean, yeah, I mean that, but um, what if I meant that that the kick out thingamabob standing thingy at the edge of the bridge might give you a better angle of the reflection from the water surface because I think they meant that little space for a couple of people to stand in just off to the side and more out of sight, so, that's what I mean then, so?"

Huh, that was a lot of words to say that it's a cozy spot to watch the 60th anniversary of the 64Terror river boat float by, right? Which was actually very smart of Ted to suggest. That little concrete railed spot off to the side did look cozy.

[They had to stroll right past the bud heads, Ned and Jed to get to that cozy spot at the edge of the bridge]

"No more photos, guys or some people will think I'm cheating, especially since Ted may want pay back for letting me know that my new boobs work, even though I'm sure that he already knows that his dick works, so, no more photos!"

Oh, sooner or later, I was going to suck Ted's dick anyways, so.

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I see, I say, I hear [exhales] nothing, Quinn dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] man, I hear, I see, I say [exhales] nothing, Quinn dude."

[And the walk to the cozy spot continues]

"[Puff, puff, pass] dude, that Quinn, has a [exhales] nice booty, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] dude, that Quinn has [exhales] nice boobs, dude."

"[Puff, puff, pass] dude, where the hell [exhales] are we, dude?"

"[Puff, puff, pass] dude, I don't even know [exhales] anymore, dude."

LOL, bud lovers are the best comedy show in town, right?

"Well, Ted, I mean, here we are and I mean, I think we have 20 minutes before the light show cruises underneath us and I mean, I probably owe you and I plan on making good on that, so, um, you say something now, okay, Ted?"