Compensation

After about a week, I took my bags of money and the few clothes I had and went home to Arkansas. The army had already shipped my furniture and household goods home for me and they were in storage. Now I had to rebuild my life without my Jenny. At least I was compensated some for her pain and suffering and those assholes paid.

I didn't tell no one I was coming home. I just drove when I felt like it and got there when I got there. I came into town one afternoon about three and didn't even stop. I just drove right on through and out a ways to the farm. It still looked like a dump. Somehow, now after I'd been in the Army for so long it really bothered me how it looked. I wondered what the hell was wrong with the old man and ma.

When I stopped in the yard the rickety screen door slammed open and my two youngest brothers and my youngest sister ran outta the house toward me screaming as they came. Ma followed wiping her hands on a threadbare dish towel. Her thin grey face broke into a smile when she saw me. I hugged her and felt the bones. I wondered when her hair got so grey.

"Mack what are you doing here? Why didn't ya tell us you was coming home?"

"I didn't know when I'd get here Ma. They let me out of the army and I just took my time coming back."

"Oh, Mack. Please don't tell me that. There's no work back here son. I thought you were going to stay in the army."

"Yeah I was until... Well, I had no reason to do that anymore and I had some things I needed to do that the army wouldn't have liked so I let 'em put me out. They say I can come back if I want but I don't know. Somehow it just don't seem right for me no longer."

"Well come on in son. Your Daddy's out and about. I don't know where and I don't know when he'll get back. I got some soup about hot if you're hungry?"

I laughed and said, "Sounds like the same ole, same ole. You guys doing ok?"

Ma sighed and sorta collapsed into her chair. She looked around the ratty ole kitchen and said, "Yeah, I suppose. At least with most of you kids gone we're doing better. The young uns aren't as skinny as you all were. If I didn't love your Daddy so much though there are times...

"Well, enough of that. Tell me what you've been doing. You have any idea what you want to do now you're home?"

"Aw, heck Ma. I just did army stuff until they let me go then I came home. Don't know for sure what I want to do now. Guess I'll look around. Might try to buy some land I guess. I saved a little while I was in the army."

"Oh Mack, don't do that. Land around here is awful poor. You'll nearly starve if you try to farm like we do. You know how rough it was when you were home son. Find you a high paying job in town or try to go back into the army. I want better for you kids than your Daddy and I have."

I hugged ma and said, "Well, I'm not sure about anything yet. We'll see. Like I said, I have a little saved up and I need some time to relax."

Well Pop never did come home that night but that wasn't nothing new. About supper time Ma put a bowl of soup in front of me, her and the kids. Hell, you could see the bottom of the bowl the soup was so clear. I found one small piece of some kind of meat in it and a few small pieces of vegetables. We did have a small piece of cornbread each to go with it. We only had water to drink. I didn't say much but I was still hungry when I finished. Oh, well, one light meal wouldn't kill me. Maybe she just didn't have enough cooked to go around since I didn't tell her I was coming home. About ten that night, I crawled into my old bed and tried to sleep but I didn't do much of it. The next morning I wandered out to the kitchen for breakfast. Ma gave me a weak cup of coffee and went back to stirring something on the stove. Pretty soon she put a bowl of oatmeal in front of me and the three kids. She just sat there and drank her coffee.

I looked around for the milk and sugar but there wasn't any. I got up and looked in the refrigerator and it was almost empty. Sure wasn't no milk there. I looked in the cabinet for sugar and it was almost empty too. I sat down in my chair and looked at the about three quarter full bowl of oatmeal. When I looked at Ma, she was looking everywhere but at me.

I said, "Ma there's no food here is there?"

I saw the tears in the corner of her eyes and could tell she was trying not to cry. She pressed her lips together and shook her head no. I pushed my bowl toward her then got up. I looked down at Ma and the kids then around the old kitchen.

I walked back into my old bedroom and got my wallet then went back into the kitchen. I looked at the kids digging into their bowls of glop and said, "Kids get in my truck."

Ma looked up at me and opened her mouth. I said, "NOW kids. You too Ma. We're going to town right damn now."

"But I can't Mack. I have to get dinner..."

I laughed and said, "How? I didn't see anything you could fix. What you gonna do Ma?"

"We still have a few chickens and I can find something in the garden still I think."

"Well, maybe you can do that later. Right now we're going to town and I'm buying you a nice breakfast then we're going to buy some groceries. Now come on."

"But Mack we can't. I don't have any money and we can't spend all your money. We'll get by. We always do. We've got a couple of steers about ready to sell. That ought to bring six or eight hundred dollars. Your Daddy will probably give me a few dollars then for some food."

"Well, we'll see. Now you get to the truck too."

When we got to the café I didn't even let my family order. I ordered for them and I got the largest plate of food I could get for me and Ma and I made sure the kids got a nice big one for their size too. They all ate their meal and I think they were looking around for more. And coffee? I think me and Ma drank four pots. She was even almost smiling when we left.

I grabbed a cart in the grocery store side of Wal-Mart and took off grabbing things I thought they needed. I just ignored Ma when she complained about me filling the cart. I got some of the cheaper brands but I filled that cart plumb full of dry beans, rice, flour, cornmeal, sugar and canned goods. I even bought some meat for them but not much. We always used to hunt for most of our meat and I expected we still would. When we checked out and Ma saw the amount of the bill she said, "Mack we can't spend this much. Please put some of it back. It's too much." I just ignored Ma and handed the clerk what she asked for. Hell, it wasn't like I was paying for this stuff. I was still using the drug money I took in compensation for Jenny. I still didn't know how much I had. I'd never counted those cases of money. The only one I did count had over $200,000 in it. If they were all like that I had somewhere around a million dollars in cash.

When we got back to the farm Pa's truck was sitting in the yard. He was in his chair under the tree sucking on a beer and drunk already. He looked up and said, "Where the hell you been Ma? Hell, it's almost dinner time and you don't even have it started yet."

Pa never even said howdy to me. He just looked at me then started in on Ma. She looked at me then back to Pa and said, "Mack got home from the army yesterday and he took us out for breakfast then we went to the grocery store for some food. I'll get your dinner cooked right quick now."

"You been holding out on me woman? I asked ya a couple of days ago for some money and you said you didn't have any. How did you buy groceries?"

"No I aint been holdin' out on you Billy. Mack bought some groceries with his last pay from the army. He says he's home to stay and needs to find a job."

Pa looked at me and said, "We don't have much room here son. You're welcome to your old room if ya need but we can't support ya. You need to kick in food and $150 a week like ya did before. I'll count these groceries as part of your support but I need the rent money quick. Thing's are a little tight right now."

I looked over at Ma and the kids as they carried bags into the house. I said, "Well Pa, I wasn't planning on staying. I just stopped by to say howdy. I'm looking for a place of my own soon's I find one to buy."

Pa laughed and said, "Damn boy if you don't take the cake. You know how much ground around here costs? Hell, it's twelve, thirteen hundred dollars an acre. Sometimes more. How much you think you can buy with no money and no job?"

"I think I can buy enough. Guess we'll see if I find a plot I like."

"Bring me another beer. The cooler's in my truck."

I looked at Pa and then got his beer. I'd forgotten how he was. His beer and cigarette money sure would have bought a lot of food for everyone. I felt my temper rising and knew I had to get out of there. Now, don't get me wrong, Pa wasn't mean to us or nothing and I guess I loved him and he loved us but his drinks and cigarette's were first in line before food.

I hung around the rest of that day then took off for town. I would camp down on the river somewhere on a gravel bar until I found someplace better.

Well it took me almost two weeks but me and the realtor finally found a nice little piece of ground for me. It was on a little stream that drained into the Buffalo River. There was a couple of open spots on it and an old barn that wasn't in too bad a shape. The old house had fallen down some time back. I only got about 160 acres but it was enough for me. It would have some good hunting on it and I could fish and grow a big garden if I wanted. There was even room for some pigs and a few head of cattle in the meadows. I thought I might get some goats and chickens too.

Damn, fuckin' bank won't loan me no money to buy my farm. Said I had no job and no way to pay for it. Damn, now I gotta spend some of my stash but if I do that and the feds get wind of it I'll be in trouble with them. I told the realtor I had cash money but it would take me a while to get it, could he hold off on the deal for a while.

That night I called one of my buds that was still at Ft. Bliss. Well, ya know him. He was Doris' husband Jack. After we got done with the catchin' up I said, "Jack, I got sort of a problem here. I want to buy a little piece of ground and the bank won't loan me the money. I wondered if you could help me out some."

"Whoa there Mack. I know I told you we'd help ya if you needed it but I'm afraid I can't loan ya any money. Hell, you know how it was. We just barely have enough to get by between paydays, especially with three kids now."

"Naw, Jack. That wasn't what I meant. Well, it sort of is I guess but I have the money. I just need someone to sort of help me with it. I come into some cash a while back but I don't have no way to show it. I thought maybe you could say you was with me when I played some damn good poker and won the money if anyone comes sniffing around. I'll put it in several banks around then draw the cash out and pay for the land. I just need you to back me up if push comes to shove. I think I may even pay a little tax on part of it to keep the IRS happy."

"Mack who'd ya kill to get that kind of money? OH, Shit. It was you that hit that gang just after you got out isn't it? You killed all those bastards and took off with some of their money didn't ya? Fuck. How'd ya do it?"

"I don't have any idea what you're taking about Jack. What gang got hit? I told ya I won that money fair and square."

"Right. Ok. You didn't know the gang that killed your Jenny got hit and a bunch of them killed in their drug warehouse. It's just coincidence someone used frag grenades and military ammunition to hit them. Ok, I won't say nothin' about it and if they ask I'll say you won a bunch of money playing poker."

Well my plan was beginning to come together. I just hoped the Feds didn't catch onto my little trick. I showed the old man and woman what sold me the place I had a box full of green backs and they allowed as how they could carry the note for me and we'd just bypass the banker. That made everything easier. We showed I made a small down payment for the farm then they loaned me the rest of the money on a 20 year note. What really happened was we did that then in about seven months I gave them a big box of cash and they signed the loan papers "paid in full" then they took off for warmer places. They wanted to live the rest of their lives in sunny Florida so off they went.

Now I owned a nice little farm with no house and only had four boxes of money but that's fine. I don't need much. I built me a little room in one corner of the barn and put an old wood stove in it that I could cook on. I had me a small table, a nice comfortable chair and soft bed. What else could a guy want? Well, maybe some pussy but I hadn't seen no other woman could hold a candle to my Jenny and I wasn't looking nohow. When my horns got too long I just went to one of the bars around and jumped one of the barflies. Problem solved for awhile.