Complications of Life

Can life itself hate you? Not a living thing but the idea of life. I wonder about that often. Humans as creatures view life as fickle but carelessly prance around pretending otherwise. We are careless with our own gifts that our parents or creators or whatever supernatural occurrence that decided to bless my body and soul with the gift of life. I'd not notice for some time how I lived with my own self-pity or how I allowed myself to crumble into such a miserable state of being. Was it perhaps how I acted in high school? A rude and bitchy loner who spent her nose in the books every day. Perhaps it was my lack of any meaningful relationships.

A tapping on my shoulder shook me back to the real world. I spun my head to see the perpetrator who had shaken me. I didn't recognize the guy. He was tall, maybe six feet, give or take an inch or two. His short brown hair was a mess spiraling out from the center or I guess what could be considered the center top of his head. I stared blankly back at him; his expression was one of—worry? I suppose I was spacing out. He rested his hand on my shoulder. A sigh I never meant to release pried its way out of my lips into the audible airways. His look of worry turned to a scoff as he walked away. He was probably just trying to hit on me anyways, If that sigh didn't scare him off my personality would have. I'm not exactly an elegant lady or spread my legs slut. Sex was something I never tried, lack of any relationships and such.

Another sigh found its way out of my lips as I rose from the table. I couldn't fathom why I bothered to appease my mother and leave the house to socialize. Then again, better to be here in a coffee shop then stuck in that dumb resort that pairs single women in their early twenties. Women in this day and age were expected, no, lawfully required to be married at the age of twenty-five without exception. One loophole existed, if a woman couldn't reproduce, she was no longer to be bound by marriage. The law never explicitly stated anything about child birth and some couples even go their whole lives without children. Although, with the current state of things, I wouldn't be surprised if they added an addendum to that law.

My head swiveled to the glass window on my left, trying to gauge something or other of myself that might possibly outweigh my lack of charm. Average height for a twenty-year-old girl I think, not fat or athletically built, but skinny, could absolutely manage a size four dress. Hmm, maybe not actually. I was well endowed in the chest area. My breasts weren't backache big but they were noticeable and decent cleavage was easy to pull off being a 32C. I wasn't exactly an hourglass figure, there was for sure some curves but not super curvy like a model would have to be. My greatest failure however lay with my ass. The new fad for men was to appreciate a woman's butt, although heaven only knows why. Being an introvert spending too many hours of the day reading books and not really working out caused a flat butt to develop. Nothing special to mention with my pretty average head and face. Pale blue eyes were probably the most prominent thing about my features. I refused to wear makeup. My hands being not nearly steady enough for that I often just lied and said I hated the idea of being glammed up. The lightly bronzed color of my locks delightfully covered up for my lack of noticeable facial features. Flowing, pin straight hair, stretching down to bottom of my shoulder blades. I didn't like it any shorter or longer than the area of my shoulder blades so I would have to get a cut soon.

A buzz in the back pocket of my skin-tight jeans was, without a doubt, my mother calling to inquire about my time in this wretched cafe. I decided to ignore it and head home. Being only twenty I didn't see the point of forcing myself just yet to find my partner. The walk home was short but long enough to give me time to think about my situation. Perhaps I could entice my mother to wait another year before having me shipped off. Any argument I could establish in my mind, was unfortunately, fruitless. The future of escaping the resort of mating and drunk men trying to feel up as many women as they could, couldn't be postponed another year, at least in my mother's mind.

The front door was open ever so slightly to our moderately sized estate. My family wasn't one of large income but we did above average. Father was a doctor and doctors were in very high demand, especially after the war. Suppose that's only natural considering five sixths of the human race got wiped out. Mother was a simple housewife. She didn't do anything other than manage the house, cook, clean, etc. the usual duties of a domestic housewife. I was an only child with nothing special about me or any super out of the ordinary, well, what you could call ordinary now, life. Regardless, it was still nice. I love my family and I enjoyed my childhood. Although coming of age I suppose life starts to like you a whole lot less.

I cautiously approached the ajar door hoping maybe my mother was recently out and simply forgot to close the door. Nothing was out of place in the foyer. That sight put me at more ease. Barely audible were subtle voices from the kitchen. Couldn't make out what they were talking about but I could make out one of the voices being my mother's. The other voice however didn't father, but it was easily discernible that it was a man's voice. At least they weren't arguing and having a simple and civil conversation, at least it seemed as such. I left my purse on a table where we usually left keys and such when we first arrived home. I turned to head over to the voices. The conversation seemed to be in the kitchen or perhaps dining area.

As I entered the dining area, I could see mother talking to a strange man—maybe in his mid-twenties. I didn't recognize him but he looked professional, suit, tie, well groomed, clean shaven but the five o' clock shadow was coming in. His skin wasn't exactly pale but a slightly tanned Caucasin? Mother must have caught a glimpse of me with her slight head turn to smile at me. I walked over taking her smile as an invitation. Upon closer inspection of the man, I got to notice his dark hazel eyes, and scars on his face. Sword cuts by the looks of it, maybe a serrated knife, hard to tell. A thin one donned on his left cheek striking all the way down from the left of the eye socket to his jawline. Another tiny horizontal cut on the man's nose. His hair was a dark shade of chestnut, possibly often confused for black. The hair had to have been recently cut, being way too short I could make skin tone of his scalp poking through the hair strands.

My mother broke the silence first that my presence had created in all of its awkwardness. "Sweetheart, this man's a soldier. He's got a very secure job now and he's quite handsome. Don't you agree?" She spoke sweetly hoping to earn my favor. I jerked my head to face her. Burning anger seethed from my every inch. Mother's sly smile quickly disappeared.

"I apologize for my mother," I directed at the nameless soldier whom she thought not worthy of a name.

"Apology accepted," He replied mockingly. I was ready to reach across the table and slap him for his smug response. "Now that that's out of the way, allow me to introduce myself in a more proper manner. I'm Angelo,"

I cut in, raising my voice, "Italian? You tried to pair me with an Italian mother!?" Angelo sat quietly listening in. I could tell he was processing what I could possibly mean by that.

"Emily please! You're being rude to our guest. Apologize." My mother scolded in reply. It was obvious to tell she changed from appeasing me with smiles and kindness to her usual disappointment and discipline.

"I will not mother. You're always trying things like this. When will you let me move at my pace!? I have another five goddamn years. You act as if I have mere months. Love isn't supposed to be like this!" Even screaming at her I still felt bad for our guest. He didn't need to be caught in the middle of my fights with mother. I turned to him with a softer expression as my mother rebutted. I tuned out my mother and I hoped my expression was enough of an apology. It seemed to be enough as he gave me a slight nod and a smile.

I snapped back to mother and shook my head. "Mother I know you mean well but please just stop this." With the last remarks I headed out to my favorite place in the house, our backyard gazebo. Many a night and day I'd spend in my little outdoor sanctuary, cuddled up reading a book, talking to father, arguing with mother. I half expected this haven to experience another argument between mother and daughter but to my surprise, it was Angelo who followed me out.

"I was hoping to get away from you both," I blurted crunched up into a ball on a comfortable armchair.

"I can see why."

"What would you know?"

"I fought with my father plenty." Angelo scoffed. "I wasn't invited here to court you Emily, if that makes you feel better."

"Why else would she bring you here?"

"Drop the disrespectful tone, raise your head and look me in the eye. Manage that and I'll tell you."

A singular low-pitched grunt pushed out my lips as I raised my head with a shake to brush my hair away from my face. I stayed otherwise perfectly still; my arms still tightly slung around my legs close to my chest. "Why did she invite you here?" My disrespect was still present but I held back enough that it seemed to appease him.

"Your father. I'm one of his patients. We chatted up a lot during my time under his care and he invited me for dinner this evening. I've arrived rather early and your mother struck up conversation. I merely obliged. Satisfied enough to drop the bratty act?"

My eyes gazed away, my head merely following their lead. "I guess."

"Despite your obvious lack of respect and poise, a lashful tongue, and unladylike clothing, you still manage to be quite attractive."

"Only someone as arrogant as you would claim to understand me. And pushing flattery in the end did nothing to hide your rude remarks."

"And if I wanted to understand you?"

"So while you weren't here at first with an interest in your doctor's daughter, you've now grown one? That right?" I scoffed hostile.

"Something like that."

"Save your breath than, not interested."

I hadn't noticed at first, but he was now towering over me. He had to be at least five or six inches taller than me. Neither did I notice his hand's movements till they were brushing my hair to the side. I jerked back, and gritted my teeth. I wasn't about to fuel his opinion of my personality more by snapping back. "What could I possibly due I wonder to make you slightly interested in at least talking to me in a civilized manner?"

"Try not touching me like that for starters." That seemed to give him a chuckle. "And nothing could possibly make me drop my guard for a simple talk with you. If it wasn't clear inside, I want to find love my way."

I raised my head to meet his eyes with mine. It was obvious he was looking me over. On top of that in my current position I was basically offering up my chest on a silver platter for his perverted gaze. My hands rushed to cover up and I extended my leg to kick him. He was faster than I expected or maybe he anticipated my reaction given my move to cover up. "Going to have to try harder than that if you actually intend to hit me," Angelo commented in his mocking tone.

"Maybe I will pervert."

"Your choice of top and me being a male, well it made it hard to resist taking a peep."

"Yeah I bet."

Saved by the bell so to speak as my father arrived home, calling Angelo in for talk I suppose. He didn't leave right away. He stood there over me, for what reason I couldn't possibly comprehend, leaning in close to whisper in my ear, "Maybe you'd be a tad more manageable if I took you right here and made you a woman."

My eyes popped. If I were a cartoon character they would literally have been drawn as springing out of my head. I wanted to smack him right then and there as my burnt red face all but gave away my anger. I might have managed it had he not turned to return inside before I composed my feelings and snapped back to reality.

The rest of the night went by rather uneventfully. Mother tried again to press Angelo and me together but father wasn't having it. I couldn't understand his opinion of Angelo. Angelo and I avoided conversation throughout the night and when he said his goodbyes before leaving neither of us spoke to the other. Mother and I were on the edge of fighting again. Father stepped in though and defused us both. I figured it was a good time as any to call it a night. As I lay in bed, my mind confusingly ran to the last thing he said to me. It was implied heavily through his bullshit sophistication that he wanted to fuck me. Right then and there without a care in the world for my parents, or as a matter of fact what I cared. What wasn't normal however was, at least it didn't seem normal to me, there was a part of me that wanted him to. And that I couldn't figure out.

Sleeping was difficult and I ended up getting very little of it. The next day, nothing really occurred of importance. Father worked, mother cleaned and took care of the house and I read more books. Desperately I tried to push any and all thought of Angelo out of my mind, thinking last night's encounter was a one off event.. that moment however, was determined to play over and over again through the bowels of my mind. I screamed as loud as I could manage in frustration. Sleep was even harder that night and I hated that and him.

The next morning was an unwelcome surprise, a phone call from Angelo. Apparently my parents accepted an invitation for a date without my input. My parents refused to let me out of it so, I took it as a chance to strike a deal. When this relationship fails, they let me do things my way, at least until I was twenty-four. Slipping into some skin tight jeans and a tee shirt seemed like a good enough comboed with a pair of sneakers. Double sure I wouldn't be revealing any cleavage today I felt ready enough to deal with this asshole.

It was maybe three in the afternoon when he arrived. He wasn't dressed too over the top. Jeans, sneakers and a button-down shirt that tightly outlined his muscular body. It looked like it was natural muscle too, not like that overgrown steroid shit. Even caught myself wondering what it would feel like. I shook my head frustrated. Angelo was an ass and I wanted nothing to do with him or his handsomely masculine body.

"I see your taste in tops has changed. Perchance did I have anything to do with that?"

"Fuck off. Let's just get this over with." Brushing past him I slid into the passenger seat of the car. Sighing very audibly he leans next to the already open passenger window. Most likely taking my sigh as an invitation.

"Not even going to give this a chance are you?"

"And why Should I?" My answer was rhetorical, but Angelo and all his infinite assholery took it as a real question.

"Because you're five years away from having someone forced on you. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

"You're a devil I don't want to know." Full on bitch mode was tearing out at every chance it got to lash at Angelo. I didn't care. Hoping it would scare him off and get me free of this nightmare.

"Is that so? I saw you checking me out earlier. And if I had to take a guess with your increased resentment stems from the fact that you can't get what I said out of your head. Tell me I'm wrong."

"You. Are. Wrong." Angelo had me dead to rights. My lie was out right not convincing but hopefully my bitchiness made it a least a minor bit authentic. His eyes fixed on me never once sparing me a moment of unobserved freedom. What the hell was he thinking?

"Try lying better next time." His arrogant tone had me seething. I couldn't take it anymore and I swung my left over from the armrest in the middle of the driver and passenger side seat smacking him dead across the face. Or so I thought. He captured my wrist mid motion and gripped it tight enough I couldn't move but also loose enough that it didn't hurt.

"Let me go!"

"You just tried to smack me. Apologize. Now."

"No. Fuck you, arrogant prick." I tried to move my other arm into a less awkward position to hit him. Obviously he saw it coming grabbed my other wrist tightly. The more I struggled the tighter he held onto. I had to get loose, I had to break free.

"Calm down. Now Emily." He ordered. I jerked, writhed, squirmed grunted and yelled profanities again and again. Angelo dragged my wrists together and held them together with one hand. Obviously I was weaker than him and I had no chance of getting loose. I was being worn down.

"Calm down and I'll let you go." He was more polite about it this time. His free hand brushed away some stray strand of my hair that got displaced in my thrashing. Angelo was clearly cautious about it too, staying just out of reach of my teeth. I started to take a few deep breaths towards calming down. My chest heaved up and down with every breath. I'm sure he took notice. Finally I got calm, until he broke that calm not even a full second later. Angelo was so fast, and it happened too quickly for me to process it. The taste of cherry chapstick, prickles of hair scratching at my chin, lips connecting with mine, a tongue pressing at the gates of my mouth. That asshole was kissing me!

Angelo pulled away with a smirk on his face. It was obvious how my body felt about it, but I was furious. More so then before. I thrashed again with my whole body. Throwing my shoulders to try angle a way for me to get leverage.

"You bastard! You fucking asshole!" Shouting didn't help in anyway but I needed to express my rage.

"Calm down Emily and I promise we can move on with our date."

"Fuck you, piece of shit. You didn't let me go when I got calm. You fucking kissed me! Let go of me right now so I can smack that fucking asinine smirk off your face."

"Not a chance Emily." He mocked.

"Are you mocking me? God you are such a jackass. I can't believe I even humored the idea of touching any fucking part of you for the briefest of moments! How dare you fucking kiss me like that!" My breath was running short. I pushed above and beyond what I should have by an insane amount and now I was too tired to fight back anymore. Angelo gently and slowly loosened his grip on my wrists until all together let me go.

"Much better. I knew I was right. Shame it took all that to get you to admit."

"I didn't admit a thing." my voice was faint, interrupted by my panting.

"Oh but you did. Firstly our kiss, you didn't fight back. You let it happen. Secondly, you admitted to thinking about me."

"You're delusional."

"And if I were to cop a feel in your panties, I'm certain you'll be wet." For that I had no response. He was absolutely right, in this moment my body was on fire with need. It was a miracle my nipples weren't perking through my bra to show how aroused I was. The best I could manage was an angry stare hoping it would be enough. One word out of my mouth is all it would take for him to take his game up.

"No more smart remarks, no more attitude? How bout that. I guess I was right. Someone just needed to put you in your place and all the sudden your more manageable." Fuck. He just had to press it.

"Fuck. You." I tried to hold back any signs of desire or need. It was no use. It was glaringly obvious.

"I see there's more to it." I turned my head to face away from him. I needed him to give up, leave, stop, anything. And then a save from dad. Must have seen us still in front of the manor. Angelo took his focus off me and turned to speak my dad. Didn't much care to hear what they were saying. Wouldn't have mattered even if I wanted to. I was using all my focus to resist my body's desires. It was maybe five minutes of them talking, then Angelo got in the driver's seat, fasting his seat belt. He motioned with a small head jerk for me to do the same. I was still struggling with my body's obvious betrayal. My mind jumped back to the kiss, I tried playing it over again hoping to find any evidence of resistance, that I didn't just let it happen like he said. I didn't want to believe it, but I couldn't prove otherwise.