Confessions of a Pervert

And then it began in earnest. Naked, with an erection like I was a 19 year old, kneeling before my toilet like an intoxicated throne worshiper, my face hovering about an enormous shit log of my own as it bends about in the cold toilet water, touching both sides—already its brown, smearing the white porcelain, and its smell, filling the bathroom with an otherworldly aroma, I stared at my shit log.

It was truly thick [it had challenged my asshole on its way out] as big as the black cocks that had slid their way down my throat hundreds of times earlier in life, choking me with their length and girth, depositing, of course, their voluminous, white loads filling my stomach like the shame and guilt that filled my soul. Many times I would aspirate the cum -and coughing and coughing, as if I were about to die.

It had begun! my humiliating journey to becoming a shit eater!

I was commanded, by my Mistress, to eat the shit before me; my phone, videoing each second as proof to my Mistress of my successful shit feast. She would not entertain shitting directly down my throat without video proof that I acted out, obeyed her cruel command.

My cock jumped in tumescent heaven as my hands dipped into the cold water; I scooped up the enormous log. It took both my hands, and it still bent at the end for about an inch. Yet its fibrous composition held it there, suspended, defying gravity.

I ran my tongue along its length several times, then swallowed the shit built up on my tongue. I stared at the phone directly and mouthed slowly in obedience, "Thank you, Mistress, for this feast." But my stomach turned; my mouth rebelled at the foul taste. Oh, the taste, a dead, rancid taste!

The taste of shit seeping into my very soul, a moment I could never return from, a psychological Rubicon. I had become a shit eater.

And then, I began to guide the shit log into my mouth and down my throat as far as I could get it. I bit it off and chewed and swallowed as fast as I could; I reached with one hand for the warm glass of my own piss to help wash it down, and with the other I balanced the last several inches of the shit log.

The shit in my throat gagged me, but the piss began to allow its decent into my stomach. I experienced the same feeling of being choked to death, accompanied by the strange and weird desire to being actually choked to death as I did with the black cocks gagging me.

I had secretly wished the black men would have grabbed my head and kept their cocks shoved down my throat, maybe living out their desire to not only dominate white faggots with their superior black cocks, but act out revenge for their black brothers who were enslaved by the white ancestors of their own slaves to cock. But the dreadful taste of shit filling every cell of my body broke my fanciful self-hate and suicidal fantasies.

The piss's warmth, its bitterness, and its salty taste mingled with the dead rancid flavor of my feces creating an unpleasant, disgusting tasting sludge within my mouth and throat that had me retching, on the verge of throwing up; but, I knew if I did, I'd be set back being with her by weeks, so I stuffed the majority of the remaining log into my craw and chewed and drank the piss as it washed its cousin's chunks down my gullet. I was done; I opened my mouth as instructed and the video proof was complete. I reached for the phone and blinded it—and I immediately threw up like a drunken college student. Encircling the throne with my arms.

My arms resting across the toilet seat's back, and, yet again, my face stared at the mess below me. I flushed and the swirling water deposited its foul and brown specks on my face. Too ill to move, I felt a growing nausea like the ocean's tidal flood filling me and a room spinning dizziness, making me afraid to stand up. A cramping sensation squeezed my lower insides like a python, that unpleasant, disgusting taste owned my mouth.

What have I gotten myself into?

As I had washed the last of the shit down my throat, I had lost my erection; it, too, felt overwhelmed and disappointed in the shit eater's experience.

Staring into the calm water of the toilet bowl, I pulled back; slowly I stood. Dare I recline on my bed? I stumbled my way there and collapsed. My last thoughts before oblivion were that shit tasted bad and black cock and cum tasted better.

As expected, the next day she called. As I answered the phone, I was determined to tell her I wasn't going to feed beneath her.

"Hello," I answered bravely.

"So you threw up your shit as soon as you clicked off your phone," she said nonchalantly, not pausing for an answer for she knew she was right.

"I expected as much. Your shit tasted disgusting to you and made you sick, but now you are ready for my caviar," she said in a superior, all-knowing tone that had my cock stiffening.

"Once you smell and taste it, you will become addicted to it -and will not be able to get enough," she announced with a conviction I believed. "You will do whatever I say as long as I feed you. How does that sound, toilet slave?"

"Oh, yes, Mistress, I understand. I...I..," I stuttered. Yet off to my consciousness's peripheral side, I realized I was back-tracking, falling victim, once again, to her overpowering dominance. But like a victim of vertigo I fell without any hope of not landing within her total grasp.

"Yes, you wanted to back out and not feed beneath me," she said with a change in voice tone. She spoke like a comforting mother to a small child who has fallen and hurt themselves.

"Yes, I understand, but once you heard my voice your little cock hardened beyond believe, am I not right, shit stain, my little one?"

"Ahhh, yes, Mistress," I said automatically, for my mind was beginning to sink into a foggy quagmire, sinking into the quicksand of submission. I was up to my nostrils in a second, I felt as if I would smother and drown in this phantom sphere. Its allure-so powerful, so tightly wound about me-I knew escape was impossible.

"Fall to your knees when you speak to me, toilet. Right now! And take out your little penis and jerk it off as you listen to me. Now!"

By the time she said Now!, I was already on my knees wanking my steel-hard breakfast-sized sausage penis. My mouth opened, my tongue extended, I wanted -to be beneath her in that moment more than anything else I had ever experienced. To taste her shit, to drink her piss, to be punished by her, to have her repeatedly kick my balls—yes! Own me! Whatever you say...

"Toilet slave, you are where the universe meant you to be—kneeling behind and below my ass," she continued, her voice filling my head until all else was pushed away. "You're as worthless as my waste; you are shit incarnate, a worthless misfit, a pervert. You are a piece of shit and that is why you like to eat it."

And I believed her because I was an empty vessel and her words filled me, she fulfilled me; I lusted for her shit and piss to fill me.

"Your worthless cock can please no one, not woman or man. When you said even the fags in the dark halls of the bath house shunned your advances—except when you knelt in the corner, begging for cock to fill your mouth with cum and piss—then they used you for the gay pig that you are.

"The blacks with their enormous cocks love to use a white pig like you. But now another brown snake will fill your mouth, now another piss will fill you-my shit, my piss will feed the emptiness within you.

"Your hollow soul needs my shit and piss to fulfill your existence. You're at the end of your masochistic life; those feelings of emptiness, those feelings of yearning for your life to be snuffed out—all of it is but a wrap to an insignificant drama—a curtain call with you laying on your back with piss dripping from your mouth and shit filling your mouth. It is so! And it will be so.

"Now, feed on this image, and let it burn into your mind's eye, shit eater

"Before your eyes, inches away, my asshole, smeared with shit; I have just dumped a load in the porcelain toilet; yes, that load awaits your attention. But before that...

"I want your hot, soft, moist tongue; it's so much more efficient than toilet paper. Yes, and also your round lips -I want them to clean every speck of shit from around my asshole."

And I saw it. My mouth and tongue spasming!

"Reach out and pull my hips close to your face, go deeply into my ass crack and lick and suck it all up, and when completely clean I want you to drill that long tongue of yours deeply into my asshole."

My arms reached out. Her soft ass smothered me as I held my breath.

"Fish your tongue about until you find the hidden gem within. Lick it and make a perfect seal about my asshole and suck it into your mouth. You will be my shit eater, my toilet paper, my shit slave. It's all you're good for, my perfect loser."

My tongue squirmed as I repeated her names for me.

'You are so weak and easily manipulated. Today you wanted to flee from my grasp and not feed beneath me because you own shit nauseated you, but NO! Once you heard my voice and started to swoon like a young teenage girl, you feel into slave mind, you fell under my spell again."

I acknowledged with a nod of my head her absolute truth. I fell like a helpless, swooning little girl into total submission.

"Now your cock is so hard, your tongue hangs from your mouth; you lust to feed beneath me. You salivate as you envision sucking my turd into your mouth. You wank your tiny cock as you chew my shit, and you know you'll be addicted to it; you'll pester me to eat my shit. You'll cum any second and continue to wank."

Wanking I was, a cock so hard I thought its little head would burst.

"Why would a woman as hot as I, want anything to do with a complete loser like you? I have a gorgeous face, long blond hair, large globular tits [38DDD], and a round bubble butt that when spread across a toilet seat will visually intimidate you; you'll almost faint at its sight—the shaven, puffy labia of my cunt and my puckered, pulsating anus, both seem to speak in mumbling tones, 'Open your mouth, slave, and eat.'"

Her visuals struck me deaf, dumb and blind. My eyeless tongue flicked in the darkness like a snake, seeking her pulsating asshole.

"So why would I entertain having a miniature penis, a complete loser like you serve me—well, I love having a toilet slave. I love shitting and pissing into a human mouth. Having a complete loser, a pathetic toilet slave hanging about so my friends and I can party and drink and fill your filthy mouth with our waste would please me. You will receive details of our encounter within hours. Good-bye."

Her words had whizzed past my consciousness. Each idea had come and gone with a speed my mind couldn't follow, but what did stick in my perverted head scared me to my very foundation—and yet it hardened my cock; it nailed me to the cross of submission.

A pervert nailed with words and ideas; words that I could not sidestep; words that I wrapped my entire being about. I knew all of it would happen, for I was drowning in a sea of submission.

I was captured like a fly on flypaper. And I reveled in the fear and the lust and the humiliation of being a shit eater. This trio fueled my erection. The disgust and humiliation I felt at knowing I was a shit eater, knowing I would rush to be beneath her...

She said she would send me directions and time and date for our first weekend together, and with that she had disconnected. I knelt there for several minutes until I realized it was over.

I stood and retrieved a drink, and, as soon as I finished it, I wanked again. Watching my phone for the text message as I jerked off into oblivion, again, again and again. Each time focusing on her description of her marvelous ass spread out above me as I awaited her anus to spasm and open.