BtW Book 01, Part 01: Convergence

Braving the Waters, Book 1: The Shore

Part 1: Convergence

Kat closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, willing herself to breathe deep and slow, trying to achieve a semblance of calm. What was she even doing here?

She was hoping the audition would distract her. And if she got lucky and it led to a role, that the job would keep her busy for at least the next few months. So busy she wouldn't have time to keep worrying about Danny, gone to war, now mired in the trenches, the mud, and the blood, maybe even de-

Angrily, she cut off the line of thought, telling herself to not even dare think about thinking about it. Danny was going to be okay. He was going to be okay. Just please be okay, she almost-prayed. But she hadn't heard from him in over three months. Fucking opsec.

Her finger stabbed the volume control on her phone, and the increased volume -- the proper volume for DnB -- blotted out the sounds of her environment, breaking her own rule of keeping aware of her surroundings at all times. But right now, she didn't much care.

However, her hope that the music would wash away her anxieties and quiet her thoughts proved to be in vain. Kat grimaced as her stomach churned, making her wish she'd had more than a slice of buttered rye bread and a cup of kava for breakfast. With a determined effort, she shoved her concern for her ex-BF-turned-BFF to the back of her mind and tried to focus on the here, the now, the next few minutes, no further. She succeeded, but concentrating on the audition just led to a different kind of anxiety.

This audition was the real deal, for all that it was "just" an open call from an indie studio. What if she didn't make the cut? Did she have it in her to try again? Or would she just fall back on Plan B and return to the nine-to-five?

A light tap on her arm brought her out of her funk. Kat's eyes snapped open and, turning, she saw the person who had touched her. A woman, perhaps decade older than her, dressed comfortably but not too expensively in a blouse, jacket, slacks, and flats, all in subdued colors. Quite pretty, with sharp, distinctly Asian features, though with eyes almost as blue as Kat's own, all framed by long black hair gathered in a low ponytail that fell below her shoulder blades. Her smile was friendly.

Kat tapped her left earbud, activating Awareness mode so she could hear. Kat's parents had taught her to always be polite.

"You okay?" The woman's voice was a high alto, pleasing to the ear, the tone as friendly as the smile, with a touch of concern underlying it. "Looking a tad uncomfortable there."

"Acidity. Nervous. First audition," Kat replied. It was the truth, as far as it went. "I, ah, didn't catch your name, sorry." She indicated her earbuds.

"It's okay," her companion laughed, "I haven't introduced myself yet." She stuck out her hand. "Yvonne Lau."

"Katrin Tallman," Kat replied, shaking hands. Yvonne's grip was firm, but not so firm as to constitute a challenge. The handshake over, Kat began turning away, her hand already coming up tap her left earbud again. But Yvonne continued talking.

"So, first audition. Of the day? Week?"

Kat suppressed the surge of irritation that washed across her mind. She needed to be polite. The woman was only being friendly. Kat counted to five before replying.

"Ever," she said, trying to keep her irritation from her tone and her face. She hoped the answer would be enough. No such luck.

"Huh," was all Yvonne said at first, her expression turning serious. "I remember being as young as you. Younger even. Right now, I'm wishing I'd been as lucky then as you are now."

"Why?" Kat asked, all irritation suddenly gone, washed away by curiosity.

"Because by accident or design -- doesn't matter which -- you somehow picked the one open call in this fucking shark tank of an industry where you won't just be chum."

Yvonne leaned back in her seat, crossing her legs and clasping her hands on her knee. Her face was pensive, her tone tinged with bitterness, though it seemed directed more toward herself.

"First time lucky. Who knows, maybe your luck will rub off on me. Could sure as hell use it." Yvonne smiled again, but it was a wan smile this time, her eyes shadowed. "Then again, if you're wanting to get serious about a career in this biz, you're going to need all the luck you can get. So, why'd you decide to take the plunge?"

Kat didn't answer immediately. For all that Yvonne seemed friendly enough, Kat wasn't about to discuss Danny with an almost total stranger. But before she could do much more than begin to marshal her thoughts, events took the matter out of her hands.

The door to the audition room opened and a dejected-looking man emerged, his hands wringing several sheets of flimsy. The door closed behind him and he passed Kat and Yvonne without so much as a glance, disappearing through the exit at the other end of the corridor. Yvonne shook her head, her voice sympathetic.

"Poor bastard. From the look on his face, he's not even getting a callback. Welp," she went on, "It's you or me next. Either way, good luck, eh?"

"You too."

The door opened again, and a woman stepped halfway out. On seeing her, Kat's breath caught in her throat, though she wasn't quite sure why.

But she was beautiful. Even with the faint circles under her eyes and her dark hair pulled up in a loose bun, she was beautiful. Asian, like Yvonne, but clearly alloyed with the genes of a Western parent, she had piercing dark eyes, a near-Grecian nose, and a wide, expressive mouth turned up in a smile that, while weary, was brilliant nevertheless.

"Ms. Lau? Ms. Tallman?" Her voice was a warm mezzo soprano, making of their names a friendly caress. Kat managed to find her own voice. Barely.

"Y-Yes." As she spoke, Kat stood. To be polite.

"Not that it needs to be said," Yvonne replied, smiling back and coming to her feet even as she indicated Kat with one hand. "But that's Ms. Tallman."

"I rather figured that out, Ms. Lau." There was no rancor in the tone, only amusement. "I apologize for asking this of you two, but would either of you mind a simultaneous audition? We're running late, and M and I have prior obligations after lunch that we must fulfill."

Yvonne shrugged.

"I don't mind if she doesn't." When Kat didn't immediately speak, Yvonne turned toward her, whispering urgently: "Now is not the time for stage fright. That's Talia Lane herself."

"N-no, no I don't. I appreciate your making time for us," Kat replied, finally managing to completely thaw both her thoughts and her voice.

"We could hardly turn you away after keeping you waiting for hours," Talia said, beckoning to them. "Come through, please." Then she disappeared into the room, leaving the door open.

"C'mon," Yvonne urged. "She didn't close the door, so we shouldn't keep her waiting."

Yvonne stood and led the way. Kat followed, removing her earbuds and dropping them and her phone into a pocket of her jacket as she went.

The interior of the room was small, small enough that had Kat been so inclined, it might have felt claustrophobic. Almost totally unfurnished, the back wall had a narrow table in front of it, with two chairs behind the table and a tripod-mounted camera between them. Talia was sitting in one of the chairs, flipping pages and making notes. The other chair was occupied by a man -- at least that's what it looked like to Kat -- wearing a white helmet with a flatscreen for a visor. At the moment, the screen displayed a crude representation of a human face wearing a neutral expression.

Kat wondered how the hell he saw out of the thing. Or even managed to breathe.

"Good morning, Ms. Lau, Ms. Tallman," the man said, in a voice that was completely normal, though it had a faint accent Kat couldn't place. "I'm M, the Director of Photography on this project. I hope you'll forgive my particular...conceit." One hand came up, tapping the helmet with a finger.

"Try not to let it distract you, though," M continued. He looked over at Talia, who had finished writing and was regarding the two of them.

"Pull up some chairs and have a seat, please," she said, pointing to several chairs placed against the far wall. "There are a few things we'd like to go over before we ask you to do the reading."

Yvonne did as requested and Kat followed her lead. Once they were sitting, Kat clasped her hands in her lap, trying to relax and not fidget. She was only moderately successful.

"We'll start with you, Ms. Lau."

Talia spoke a long string of words that Kat recognized as Chinese. More than that, she couldn't say, particularly as to content or meaning. Without hesitation, Yvonne responded in rapid-fire fashion. Then Talia said something else, this time in Japanese. Again, Kat couldn't say any more than that. Yvonne replied with almost nonchalant ease. Talia grinned and switched back to English.

"Apologies if I gave offense. We get a lot of people who claim to speak this or that language to try and get a foot in the door. But when we actually test them, don't know a single blessed word."

"None taken. You're speaking Wu though. I'm familiar enough with it to get by, but I was born and raised on the island. We'd actually say it this way-" Yvonne fired off another string of words. "And you were speaking Kansai-ben when you switched to Japanese, but most of my time in Japan was on Okinawa, so I'd say that this way-" What followed were more words Kat couldn't understand.

"Sorry, I guess I'm showing off," Yvonne finished.

"No need to apologize. It's refreshing to speak both languages again, and it's instructive hearing a different dialect than the ones I'm fluent in. You also listed Korean and Russian on your CV, but M and I don't speak either language. Based on your demonstration just now, however, I'm more than willing to take your word on those."

"Thank you."

"The next question might be a little pointed, if not out and out personal. I can ask Ms. Tallman to step out briefly if you want."

"What's the nature of the question?" Yvonne asked, sitting up straighter in her seat.

"Your work history."

Yvonne fell silent for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought.

"If this is what I think it is- No. She doesn't have to step out. In fact, I want her to hear this."

Kat said nothing. She just sat in her chair and tried not to look at anything -- or anyone -- in particular.

"Very well. To put it bluntly: given your previous body of work, why are you here? I don't usually see someone of your caliber auditioning for my projects."

Now Kat was really trying not to stare. Instead she told herself that the camera was intensely fascinating and directed her attention accordingly.

"You've probably heard about what happened on my last project," Yvonne began, her tone determinedly emotionless.

"The grapevine has whispered about it some, yes," Talia replied, her own voice quiet, neutral.

"Then you know that both the director and my co-star gave me a...difficult time. And that the studio swept the whole matter under the rug so as not to affect the box office."

"Yes." It was a single word, delivered quietly, but there was no mistaking the undercurrent of steely anger in Talia's voice.

"I was so disgusted and dismayed by all of it I nearly went on indefinite hiatus. Until I saw your open call. I've wanted to work with you for years, but the stars never aligned until now. So here I am."

"I don't want to boil this down to financial considerations, but you do understand that, should we offer you a role, we can't offer the level of compensation you normally command."

"I don't care," Yvonne replied hotly, before subsiding. "Sorry, that wasn't directed at you."

"No need to apologize. I understand."

"The truth is, I don't need the money. But I do want to keep working. And I want to feel safe while I work. I know both your reputations," Yvonne said, nodding at Talia and M in turn. "As well as your studio's. I know people who've worked with you, people whose opinions I trust. All of it says that I'll be safe on your set. That's all I really want right now."

Yvonne fell silent.

"We can't promise you a role, Ms. Lau. I'd love to say otherwise, but-" Talia let the sentence trail off, finishing with a gentle, apologetic, shrug. "But we will try our utmost to find you one."

"Guess I'll need to knock your collective socks off during the reading, then," Yvonne said, a tiny smile returning to her face. Talia returned the smile but said nothing, instead turning to Kat.

"Ms. Tallman-"

"Yes!" Kat replied, a little too quickly and a little too loudly. She was astonished to see the graphic on M's flatscreen change to a smiley face.

"It's okay, Ms. Tallman," he said, "We don't bite."

"No, we don't," Talia added, smiling that brilliant smile again. But this time, at Kat.

Kat froze again, found she couldn't breathe. What the fuck? What was wrong with her? She had to focus. This wasn't the time to let nerves paralyze her.

"In any event, Ms. Tallman, your CV is rather sparse, to say the least. Before you say anything," Talia said, holding up a hand to forestall any response from Kat, "This is not a judgment or a criticism. Nor is it a strike against you. We all started out without any experience, after all."

"My concerns lie in a different direction," Talia continued, her expression serious. "Have you seen any of our previous releases?"

"Yes. Yes I have," Kat replied, surprised at how steady her voice was.

"Which ones?"

"I didn't have the time to watch all the movies of The Parsifal Cycle, but I did watch the two standalone films, The Way Forward and To All Things, An Ending."

Talia nodded.

"I won't ask you whether you thought they were any good, not only because it would be irrelevant, but also because I don't want you to think you need to brown-nose. I will ask you, however, if you understand what may be asked of you should you be offered a role. Based on what you saw in those films."

"Referring to what, specifically, please?" Kat asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Nudity. Sex. That which sells. The elephant in pretty much every room of this industry."

"Oh," was all Kat could say. There had been a fair bit of both in the two movies she'd watched. Though none of it had struck her as being particularly gratuitous, she hadn't really thought about the implications where she was concerned.

"'Oh,' indeed. However, if we offer you a role -- and I stress that at this point, it is very much 'if' -- I will personally go over with you what that role will entail in terms of nudity and/or sex. If there are any misgivings, I will do my best to find a compromise that is satisfactory to us both. Only when we reach such a compromise will you be given a firm offer of a role. I will also mention here that if any on-set modifications are made, they will only lower the level of sex or nudity, never raise it. In any event, your actual written contract will lay all of that out in excruciating detail."

"I refuse to deal in weasel words or loopholes," Talia went on, her hand making a short, sharp, cutting motion as she spoke. "So there will be no over-broad language or hidden 'exceptions' to surprise you. My actors all know what they're getting into before they sign on the dotted line. I find it makes for a better working environment for everyone concerned."

"So, Ms. Tallman. Knowing that, do you still want to proceed? Take your time. I know I said we're under a bit of time pressure here, but this is too important a matter for rushed decisions."

Kat thought about it for a moment. Thought about it some more. She knew she wasn't the prettiest person around -- Yvonne and Talia were proof of that -- but she was comfortable with her body and how she looked. Questions came to her mind as she was thinking. She voiced them.

"Will the set be closed? Who'll be present?"

"We always close the set," Talia replied, and Kat thought she could detect approval in Talia's expression and voice at her questions. "Any and all personal electronic devices, especially those with any type of recording capability, are prohibited as well. The only recording devices present will be those used by the production, namely M's cameras and audio recording equipment."

"We also do several clothed dry runs to get lighting, sound, and camera placement where we want them before doing an actual take," Talia continued. "Besides M and myself, there will be the absolute minimum of additional crew required to film the sequence, and all of us will be at a certain distance from the actors. The actual participants will be as alone as it is possible to be under the circumstances. We will also review each take with the actors involved so they know exactly what has been filmed."

Kat mulled it over for a few minutes longer and made her decision. If she was going to do this, she might as well jump in the deep end and see if she could swim.

"I would like to proceed, please." Kat tried to make herself sound confident, but she took the mental equivalent of a deep breath. A very deep breath.

"You're sure?," Talia pressed.

"Yes I am."

"All right. I have some other questions for you before we get to the actual reading. In line with what I tested Ms. Lau on earlier, do you speak any other languages? I saw that you only listed English on your CV."

"I can understand and speak a little Lithuanian, but I'm not fluent at all. My parents always despaired whenever they tried to teach me, so I'm pretty much English-only."

"Second generation?"

"Yes. My folks hail from the old country, but I was born here."

"You also list community theater and student films under your prior experience."

"Yes. That's all the acting I've done so far."

"I notice you listed The Devil is in the Context as one of those films. Petros Katsoudas interned with us on Rhongomyniad. How well do you know him?"

"Not that well," Kat replied, then went on -- without really thinking about it -- to say: "But well enough to know that he hates to be called Peter, even though that was the name his parents gave him."

Talia laughed. It was a beautiful laugh. Kat wanted to hear it again. Why did she want to hear it again? In her bemusement, she almost missed what Talia was saying.

"Good, good. You're not just name-dropping. We get a lot of those too. And I suffer neither fools nor liars. I hope I haven't offended you. If so, I apologize."

"I understand the necessity, so no need for an apology."

"Then I think we're done with the interview portion. We'll get on with the reading now. I'm afraid it won't be much like the auditions either of you might be used to."

Yvonne, who had been silent since the close of her interview, leaned forward and spoke.

"The fact that you called us both in at the same time isn't something typically done at the first round of auditions. Not to mention that you're both here yourselves instead of a casting director. I also don't see a reader present. If either of you is going to be filling that role, that's also not usually done."

"Very good, Ms. Lau. Correct on all counts except the last one. You're going to be each other's reader."

"That's more like a chemistry read," Yvonne pointed out. "A cold chemistry read no less, since you haven't provided us with a copy of the material in advance."

"An impromptu one forced on us by circumstance, but yes. However, it works out. Neither of you can sabotage the other without sabotaging yourselves. I've seen readers try to do that with actors they dislike. It's part of the reason I work with a very select pool of them. Unfortunately, the only one of that pool available today fell ill this morning, so M and I have had to fill in. I won't speak for him, but it's not something I'm comfortable with, even though I wrote the script."