Corporate Jerk

"All right, that's it. I'm getting out of here. I'm pissed.. AGAIN. I may take the rest of the day off, I don't know." She stormed off towards the door. I saw an opening to change the subject and grabbed it.

"Not until you go over my daily schedule with me, young lady. That is why I hired you, you know." She sighed, slumping back down, then brought up my calendar on her PC.

"I know, you sexist bastard. You hired me on a full partners' salary and treat me like a secretary. It's a career cul-de-sac, a professional purgatory. But for now it more than pays the bills." She looked at my appointments, rattling off the usual litany of briefings and meetings I was saddled with on any given day. I had a lot of them too, as I prepared to deal with the logistics of outsourcing the local manufacturing division. Suddenly, she perked up.

"Oh.. here's something different. You have a 1:00 PM meeting with representatives from a charitable organization. It's to last thirty minutes, and you've been authorized by accounting to give them a donation in the amount of $10,000. It's called the Women's economic outreach project, and the check has already been prepared. You will be meeting with a Denise Dye, she is the founder and CEO of the group."

"Denise- Denise Dye?" I bristled with annoyance.

"Yes, that's the name I show here. Why, do you know her?" I narrowed my eyes, not sure what to tell her about Denise. I sure as hell wasn't going to reveal very many details.

I nodded pensively. "I might. If it's the same person, she's someone I had to fire several years ago. Oh well, it will be interesting to see what she has done with her life. She is a brilliant woman." Camilla smirked at me.

"It seems you know a lot of brilliant women. This one must have given you even more backtalk than I do." Camilla laughed. I didn't see the humor in it.

"Well, then... thank you." I waved her off. "You may go. Take the afternoon off like you had intended to do." Camilla just smiled.

"Oh no. I'm staying." She smiled at me, her lips turning into an uncomfortably wicked grin. "I want to meet Denise. In fact, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

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Two women were waved past the receptionists' desk at precisely 1:00 PM, then dutifully escorted into the large conference room where I waited in silence with Camilla. Sitting at the end of the too-long table, I fidgeted with a mountain of paperwork in an effort to pass myself off as a busy man. The truth was that I had been nervously anticipating this meeting for the better part of the day and had become too distracted to accomplish much else, in much the same manner that a first time offender might anticipate his initial appearance before a judge known to be tough.

Denise looked impressive as she strode into the room. She was ten years older, but still every bit the same beauty who had interrupted my independence day number crunching so many years before. She was accompanied by another woman, a redhead whom I vaguely recognized as Sage from that long ago assault. The contrast between the two could not have been more stark. Denise wore what appeared to be a silken white blouse, with a leather jacket and matching leather skirt. Her black pantyhose and matching pumps cut a strikingly attractive but still professional appearance, with the dark, natural curls of her long hair being pulled back behind her hair into a ponytail. On the other hand, Sage wore blue jeans and a relatively casual looking red blouse, and appeared to be as averse to makeup as she had been the last time I saw her, when she whacked my kneecap and chastened me to shut up. I smiled and chuckled at Denise as I shook her hand. Her handshake was very firm for a female.

"Well, Denise," I smirked, drinking in her leather outfit with my eyes. "Apparently you didn't go into animal rights after college."

"Human rights are more important." She smiled, withdrawing her hand. "Daniel, I am not sure whether you remember Sage Walker, my associate." I shook the other woman's hand, whose grip was decidedly more feminine.

"No, I don't believe that we have uhm, formally met. Good afternoon, Sage." Camilla tittered to herself a few feet away, like a little girl privy to a secret that nobody else knew. I turned to her. "This is my associate, Camilla McCarty." Sage smiled and acknowledged Camilla, not releasing her hand for a long moment.

"We um, have met, sir. But you may not remember. It was a long time ago."

"Oh well, yes. I do meet a lot of people. My apologies then. It is good to see you again."

A long moment of silence followed, with all three women smiling at me... then punctuated by Denise, who abruptly terminated pleasantries and returned to the matter at hand. I had always been impressed with her leadership abilities.

"All right. Let's all have a seat and get down to business. The women's economic outreach project is actively looking for partners in the corporate world as well as private investors in order to finance the advancement of its mission, which is economic freedom and security for lower income women, stay at home moms, and the private funding of programs to assist younger women involved in drugs, prostitution, and other high risk activities." She pulled a small laptop from its case, fiddling with cabling as we spoke to attach it to the projector device that was always in the room. I marvelled at how sexy she looked, seamlessly sticking with her canned speech while deftly pulling at wires and attaching them to equipment, then booting up both devices and downloading drivers, ensuring their compatibility. She breathed deeply when she was done. "I have a powerpoint presentation for you. It shouldn't take up too much of your umm, valuable time." Again the giggling.

"Yes, get on with it if you don't mind." I settled back into my chair, relaxing a bit. I looked over at Camilla with a smug expression on my face. This hadn't turned out nearly as bad as I had feared. Denise turned on the projector and ran her presentation, launching into an inflectionless monologue about at risk women, deadbeat dads, and the problems faced by minority women and women of a lower socioeconomic status, touting her organization as the key to the solution of those problems at every turn. It was rather bland. I politely suppressed my yawning and tried not to gaze at my watch or her ass too much as she spoke.

When she finished, Denise rapidly shut down both the projector and her laptop without asking me whether I had any questions. Instead, she quietly took a seat next to Sage across from Camilla and myself and folded her hands. Each of their faces had just the hint of a quiet smirk. Again, I endured an uncomfortable moment of silence. I broke it this time, seeking to move things along, wrap up the meeting, and get back to the tight schedule I had for the day. I smiled at them both.

"Well, now. That was quite an impressive presentation Denise, and I must say that I am personally impressed with the organization that you have apparently created from the ground up. I always knew you to be a bright woman." She smiled politely and nodded, as though I were stating the obvious. The little bitch always was so damned full of herself. I took a deep breath, then continued. "On behalf of the Zorex corporation, I would like to present to you a $10,000 good neighbor grant so that you may continue your good work. I laid the check on the table in front of her. Neither woman made any move to take it. Both continued to smile at me for an uncomfortable moment. Camilla looked away in disgust, as though she supposed that the only idea I was authorizing this donation was because they were both young, beautiful women, which was partially true. Denise broke eye contact and spoke up, leaving the check on the table where I had placed it.

"Actually, Daniel, the presentation was just something of a courtesy. The primary reason we are here is because we do have a child support case to resolve involving you." I looked at them, then narrowed my eyes.

"Me? Child support? Surely it's a mistake. I have no children. I'm not even married, except to my work." I chuckled uncomfortably. Denise smiled. Sage suppressed a giggle.

"Yes, I know. But we both know that marriage isn't a requirement for fatherhood. According to data obtained through surreptitious retrieval of a beverage cup you discarded approximately one month ago, you were positively identified as being the father of a female child born to a Melissa Sanchez of south Los Angeles."

"What-who.. what in the hell? I don't know anyone by that name! What in the hell are you trying to pull?"

"We're not pulling anything." For the first time, Sage spoke up, withdrawing some charts and graphs containing medical data and placing them on the table. "This chart shows your DNA profile. This other chart shows the DNA profile of the father of little Yasmin Sanchez." She thumped her index finger on the two profiles for emphasis, looking me in the eye. "It's an exact match."

"That means nothing to me. I don't know any Melissa Sanchez, and I don't appreciate your coming into my office apparently trying to extort money from me. I've half a mind to call security and have the both of you cited for trespassing!" Denise calmly smiled, ignoring my threat. She spoke again.

"First of all, you should know that Sage is a geneticist with the UCLA medical center and impeccably qualified to collect and read this data. Secondly, we also have records indicating that you were in Los Angeles approximately nine months prior to the birth of this child. It's circumstantial proof, but very powerful given the fact that Melissa gave birth to an infant whose DNA profile matches yours during the exact known human gestational time frame." I slammed my fist on the table, fuming, tired of accusations and incessant double talk. Camilla, who had been accessing HR records on her laptop, finally spoke for the first time.

"Melissa Sanchez. She's a 34 year Zorex employee who works at our La Habra plant as a team lead in the manufacturing division." I scowled dismissively.

"I wouldn't be with somebody like that anyway." Camilla smirked, steaming just a bit. She held her tongue, but was clearly annoyed by my comment. Denise retrieved the charts and sat down again, this time unsmiling.

"All right then, let's just get down to business. We have been retained by Ms. Sanchez to collect back child support from Yasmin's father. We have determined that you are her biological father, so that is not in dispute. As for the amount of our proposed settlement, we believe that approximately six million dollars should cover years one through nine, with $850,000 per year being due annually until Yasmin turns twenty one." I folded my arms. She drove a hard bargain, but I could drive one as well.

"I won't pay a nickel. I don't know this woman, have never spoken to her much less slept with her, and I don't care how many charts you pull out of your tight little asses, I will not be responsible for some bastard child of hers!" Sage began to giggle, looking over at Denise.

"Who said anything about sleeping with her? Boy, I guess you have a bad memory. Don't you remember what happened ten years --"

"Sage.." Denise quietly shushed her, but the damage had already been done. I put two and two together and looked down. I felt my heart pound and my legs wobble as adrenaline mixed with indignation surged through my body. I looked at the two women, eyes widening with with a controlled but extremely powerful rage.

"Get out." I said quietly. Denise began to speak again.

"Yes, we'll leave, as soon as we discuss the settlement --- "

"GET OUT!!!" I pounded my fist on the table, lunging towards them. Camilla held me back. I could easily have broken her hold, but allowed her to restrain me. "How dare you two conniving little sluts come into my office and try to extort money from me by setting up some phony company to support a fake child support case! Now GET OUT OF HERE before I have you arrested for trespassing!" The two women got up from their chairs and walked towards me. Denise stood in front of me, slightly above eye level with me in heels. She was all business.

"If you refuse to pay this settlement, we will go public with it. We have ironclad DNA proof of paternity. We will get the DA and child protective services involved, and a very messy civil suit will follow that will wind up being far more costly than our proposal. Since your total compensation last year was in excess of thirty three million dollars, I'm confident you can afford to provide a decent life to your child and her mother." I looked at her, red faced.

"Denise, who in the hell do you think you're dealing with?? I am the chairman and chief executive officer of an international fortune 500 company. I count presidents, foreign dignitaries, and members of Congress among my close friends. Now I presume your company is a nonprofit, tax exempt organization, is it not? Do you enjoy having that status? Would you like to keep it? Or would you prefer being raided and shut down by the IRS and prosecuted for tax fraud? Trust me, I can and will make that happen if you don't back off RIGHT NOW, get the hell OUT of my office, and don't ever let me see your skanky little ass again!" Denise just smiled down at me, making sure that she was close enough to me that I had to look up at her. To my horror, she reached down, touching me between the legs. I froze.

"I've got you. I've got you right here. We both know it." I tried to back away, but bumped into a wall. She tightened her grip. Everyone in the room could see what she was doing. She continued. "I will leave my business card on the table. You have 72 hours to make up your mind. If I do not hear from you, I will contact the child support enforcement division as well as the news media." She rubbed my scrotum through my pants, with predictable results. She smiled, then came closer, whispering into my ear. Her grip tightened. The smell from her leather outfit wafted up my nostrils, permeating my senses.

"I want you to know something else. I get what I want, and I want you. I want your body, your soul, your money, and your company. I wanted all of it the first time I laid eyes on you ten years ago. I am going to get it, too. I am going to conquer you completely, take all that you have, and turn you into my little bitch boy CEO." She withdrew her hand, then turned to leave, turning around just one more time before she did. "Oh.. and for that skanky ass comment, I am going to make sure that you kiss it. Literally. When you surrender to me, I will accept it only after your lips have traversed every millimeter of my sexy posterior first."

"Get OUT, Denise!" I suddenly growled, my stiff pecker pointing the way to the exit.

Sage picked up the $10,000 check with a giggle, leaving with Denise as I stood angry, mortified, aroused, a cauldron of emotion. I just sat down to hide my stiff member from Camilla, too upset to do much of anything else. Surprisingly, she sat next to me, affectionately draping an arm across my shoulder, massaging my neck gently.

"You want me to stop payment on that check?" I just shook my head.

"Maybe they'll take that money and buy some sense with it." I knew they wouldn't, and had no idea what I should do. For the first time since I could remember, I had no plan. Camilla sensed my helplessness, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. We sat like that for a very long time, quietly. It was completely non-sexual. She cancelled my schedule for the remainder of the day.

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"So," Camilla paced around the room, behaving very much like the bright young attorney that she was. "You're saying that these women essentially attacked you one night, sliced open your pants, manipulated your sexual organs until a sufficient amount of semen was secreted, then apparently used your sperm to impregnate another woman with it?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." I sighed. She spoke in such a detached, clinical manner, which somehow added to the humiliating experience of having to tell her about it.

"Do you still have the pants you were wearing that night? That might be a valuable piece of evidence." I scowled.

"What, are you kidding? I threw them away as soon as I got home that night and changed out of them. They were worthless, and I didn't want any reminders lingering around." Camilla scratched her chin, eyes narrowed.

"Hmmm.. that's too bad. Really it is." She paced around the room a bit, then shrugged her shoulders, looking at me. "Well, I hate to say it Daniel, but you're screwed."

"What?? What do you mean? Now you know I never slept with some common working class whore and got her pregnant!"

"No, but they have DNA. DNA talks in the courtroom, and bullshit like you being attacked by sorority sisters and being forcibly jerked off is going to walk, even if it happens to be the truth. They have all the cards, I'm afraid, and they know it. We need to think outside the box a little bit."

"What do we do? I can call my friends in Congress. We can have IRS start an investigation tomorrow morning." She grimaced, thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"No, most likely their organization is a sham anyway. They will go to the media, and you will look worse when it comes out that you sicced the IRS on them. I think we need to box them in legally somehow, in a way that limits your liability." I nodded my head, suddenly remembering why I had hired Camilla. She was so very valuable to me. I trusted her to get me out of this mess, and wondered for a moment what exactly I would do without her.

"Go on." Camilla smiled that little self satisfied grin of hers.

"Well, I think we should contact Ms. Sanchez and offer her a lump sum. Say, $100,000 or so, and offer to provide necessary medical and dental care for her and the child free of charge until she turns 21. In return, she would be required to drop any litigation and / or claims for additional support. It's a standard sort of contract that companies use all the time to settle potentially costly lawsuits." I paused for a moment.

"That's why you make the big bucks, Camilla. When can you have a contract ready?"

"It will take me a day or so to type it up. I have taken the liberty of finding Melissa's home address as well. I say we fly to Los Angeles tomorrow, pay her a visit, and convince her to sign the contract. Then this whole ugly business will be over with."

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The plane ride was quiet and sullen. I mostly just sat in the corporate jet looking out the window, watching the clouds and scenery slip slowly by. Camilla worked on her laptop, making some last minute changes to the documents that we would present to Melissa Sanchez for her signature. I looked at her, grumbling.

"Damn. That cow is going to moo all the way to the bank!" Camilla glared at me, a flinch of anger crossing her pretty eyes.

"You know, if you didn't have such a derisive, chauvinistic attitude when it came to women, maybe you wouldn't have these kinds of problems. Have you ever thought of that?" I sighed.

"This is costing me a fortune, and I'm not even really liable, for chrissakes! You expect me to be doing handsprings?" She smiled.

"You can afford it. It's only 100K up front and lifetime subsidized health care for the family. Worst case scenario, shouldn't come to any more than half a million. That's half of what they want for just one year. Remember, things could be worse."

"So where are we going to meet this woman anyway?"

"We will be driving to her home. She is expecting us. I personally contacted her and explained the situation to her." I sighed, remaining silent for the remainder of the flight. While I knew that this meeting was necessary, it was certainly not something I was looking forward to.