Cougar House Ep. 002: JUST RELAX

"MOTHER FUCKER!" Her cell rings a third time. "Brian? Oh, no! Yesss! Why did I offer up my number to these guys? Right, tenants!" She barely had enough control to answer him. "BRIAAAN? What can I do for you?"

"I could think of a hundred things." He chuckles listening to her pant.

"What?"

"Are you running?"

"Noooo! Stretching by the pool."

"Bend over for me. Just kidding."

"I somehow doubt that." She couldn't stop fingering herself. A new wave of terrorism was attacking her sensitivity. "Are you guys on a timer? Cabot called... then Eric... now you to mere minutes apart."

"Perfect rhythm, I guess. Hit you while it's hot."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing! Just relax I'm only teasing you. I have a request of you."

"Bring the wood."

"Oh, I'm bringing you, my wood." He was gripping his tented crotch.

"Good. Save some for my fireplace."

"I bet that place is hot as hell."

"It heats the house well."

"Not what I'm calling about. Can we get a beer keg or two? We've never seen Elliot drunk."

"You're all underage. No."

"We were thinking of pitching some tents and letting everyone camp out there if they get too drunk to drive. Responsible, right?"

"Ten... t!" She imagines men dragging her inside tents and fucking her hard. "Promise me everyone will... fuck..." Her nerve endings destroy her senses over her fantasy, Brian could swear he heard sloshing sounds.

"Fuck... you?"

"Yesss! Wait! What? Nooooooo! Come on..."

"Love to."

"Fuck! Stop putting things in my mouth."

"Always will."

"WORDS! Dammit!" She was fucking herself really hard, her words garbled. "Stop putting woods... words in my mouth."

"So, we can tap ya?"

"Yessss. NOOO!"

Laughing Brian coughs, "I meant tap a keg or two."

"I know what you meant." She narrowed her eyes smiling.

"Are you going to get drunk with us?"

"No. I... can't." Oh, she wanted too.

"I bet Elliot passes out after three beers."

The thoughts of seeing her son passed out made her shiver. All of the men at the party were pawing her up now that Elliot was out cold. "Yessss!" She whines.

"What are you doing over there?"

"Relaxing."

"Sounds hard."

"I hope so."

"Uhh? Okay."

"Don't invite some guy named Victor." She recalls a bad memory of someone Elliot despised.

"FUCK THAT PUSSY." Brian blurts out.

"I AM." She sighs loudly. So close to another orgasm. She had no clue what either of them were talking about.

"I'd fuck that pussy up if I saw it... him."

"It deserves it."

"He deserves it."

"Yessss! Oh, Brian... do what you want. I have to go..." She barely made it a second time. A gusher overflowed all over her chaise. "FUUUUUCKKKK!"

Last call, she just knew it was Heath. "H-H-Hello?"

"Hey Mrs. Needy, it's Heath."

"I know." She just couldn't stop touching herself. Putting him on speaker like the others she whimpers. "Talk."

"What kind of munchies do you need? We all have to eat... you? I know you watch your diet."

"Eat?... me? I like anything. Just bring hot dogs."

"The big thick ones that melt in your mouth?"

"YESSSSS!" She envisions sucking Heath's cock. Twenty dicks waiting in line around the fire. "Bigger the better." She huffs.

"Good idea. Just don't stuff yourself with too many wieners. We're getting him a big cake, lots of creamy frosting."

"Why are you boys torturing me so? "She pants, her eyes rolling back.

"Because you're the best mom ever."

"Best... I am the best. I'll prove it to all of you."

"How?"

"Treat me good. I'll treat you all... like kings."

"Wow! Sounds good to me."

"I adore you boys."

"We love you too, Mrs. Needy."

"I need love."

"You got it."

"Lots and lots of love."

"I promise."

"I need to... goooo" Not this time Margo. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!" A deafening scream is heard echoing throughout the countryside. Heath Talbot had to express his appreciation.

"That was beautiful."

Embarrassed she cut him off and lay there exhausted. How stupid was that? Surely Heath knew what that cry was all about. Ashamed of letting her fantasies become so real she curled up into an upright fetal position and rocked nervously on her chaise. Were the boys fucking with her? All four calling consecutively mere minutes apart? Was it coincidental? Smiling after a bit of astonishment she laughs. "Does it matter? That just confirmed how much I need laid. I need to control myself better though. Too much too soon is going to look bad. Just tease them for a while Margo. Like the belly dance video. I know that video is going to make them do what I just did. That was too exhibitionist Margo. Why did you do that? Get your hormones under control bitch." Shaking off her anxiety something dawned on her, making Margo narrow her eyes.

"Who was Elliot with?" Obviously with none of his four friends if they were calling to talk about the party and to flirt with her. Hmm! Her nerves were shot. Hearing a text, she reads it while still teetering.

"Cabot... sent me a video." Playing it she hears the music to ZZ Top's song Legs. "Aww!"

Seconds later Eric texts, "What about Love Me Tender by Elvis? Like the oldies?"

"Oh my God! He's doing that on purpose." She bites a nail with sparkling eyes. "You can love me tender, Mister Crowe." Typing back, she writes, "Love it but too mushy for a party. How about music that Elliot likes?"

It became text tag amongst all the boys. Brian texted, "Hard licker?" To which she wrote back, "Liquor not licker. Learn to spell." She knew it was on purpose as well. "The boys are horrible."

Yet another video text of Eric trying to belly dance made her bust up laughing. It literally brought tears to her eyes when he wrote, "If you don't belly dance at the party, I will."

Typing back, she wrote, "They might throw you into the fire."

"Then I'd be hotter than you. If that's even possible." He returned with.

She sighed at his compliment then wrote back with, "If Elliot does get drunk and falls asleep, I'll belly dance. No costume though."

"Twerk too?"

She was getting horny again. As if that had ever left her hormonal state. Dammit! "Yes."

He sends a cheesy smile emoji with, "Wait! You said no costume? Au natural?" He laughs as she giggles telling him "No." Eric offered a bit of stimulation with, "And the crowd goes wild." That made her tremble heavily. So many men being turned on in front of Elliot would look really bad.

"I'm not a stripper Eric." Old days certainly, but now 34... yeah, still a stripper.

"You could be. You have the body."

"Aww! Are you trying to persuade me to strip at my own son's party?"

"No. Just belly dance. Costume would be really sexy."

"So, you want me to be sexy for you?"

"Sexy for every guy there." He sends an LOL.

"Oh, my!" She nearly writes then pauses. Instead, she writes, "Are you trying to get your landlady raped?"

"We would never in a billion years let anyone do that."

"That's sweet. My heroes." Although she fidgeted thinking that would not be so terrible. She loved rough sex, Darryl often destroying her when alive. There were many sleepless nights for even Elliot growing up hearing them.

"Consider it? I can't stop playing this video."

"Elliot would have to be catatonic or no."

"So, that's a, yes?"

"A maybe." She giggles touching herself again.

"Awesome. You're welcome to send me a pic in a belly dancer outfit."

"Eric? Breath, you're overheating. I'm not your personal entertainment. We all need to just relax and act like landlady and tenants."

"You're right. Sorry."

"Never be sorry. Where is Elliot?"

"He's with our friend Derek. We needed to ditch him so we could plan out his party. Skateboarding at the park, I think. We'll pick him up later and bring him home."

"Alright."

Between replies, Brian texts another round, "Did Darryl have any tents?"

"Only a pup tent that Elliot used. We had an RV, but I sold that last year."

"I'll find more. Thanks."

"Wow! No flirting that time. Maybe they're calming down finally." She stops touching herself and sighs. "Take note Margo. You need to dial it back too." Putting her bikini back on she withheld texting anyone further. The fun was over in her mind.

Seven miles away in the town of Wildwood four young men sat together on Brian Hancock's tailgate. All four of them chuckling at their shared mischief. Cells poised in front of them Brian rallies his inner Musketeer.

"All for one. One for all."

"She was so naked when she sent these pics." Cabot nodded.

"Same for the belly dancing video. Any lower and we'd see puss. That reflection clenched it."

Heath peps up, "She's trying to turn us on."

"So, we play dumb. Keep things cool and see what she does going forward. Once the nerd is out of our hair we move in and make that MILF our slut. Agreed?" Cabot proposes to a collective "Hell Yes!"

"Play that belly again."

Thirty minutes later they split up and loaded wood while Cabot drove out to the Needy house to mow. Margo was fully dressed when they got there. Elliot was left in town with Derek until later that night. All gentlemen. Perfect lady.

It would never last.

Project Party Animal T-Minus 18 hours.

So much to do.