Could You Be Mine?

"I'm not sure I really care... but I hear you. Thanks, Ian."

Ian suddenly shifted off me, "Jared just extricated himself from the table he was at... he's headed to the bar," he hissed.

I chuckled, "Don't do anything I won't do!"

"Don't wait up!" Ian gave me a hug and made a bee line for the bar.

I watched Ian give Jared a quick tap on the shoulder before the two of them started talking like old friends. Why is it so easy for Ian to chat someone up? RJ was still talking to Mona and people were starting to leave. I let out a deep breath. I picked at the label on my beer bottle. I felt stupid sitting there on my own, but I couldn't make myself leave.

"This isn't right... the guest of honor sitting all by herself..." RJ slid into a chair at the table.

I waved a hand, "No biggie. It's getting late, and Ian is no doubt off on an adventure with Jared."

"That didn't take long..."

I smiled, "Ian's definitely not shy. I was thinking of leaving, actually."

"Want some company?"

Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

I nodded, "I'd love some."

We made our way upstairs. RJ held the door for me and we stepped out into the pleasant summer night.

"Where's home?" RJ pointed her fingers left and right.

"West Village," I nodded towards the West Side Highway, "How about a walk up along the piers? Where do you live?"

"Chelsea, so not far from you," RJ ran her hand through her hair, and a shiver went through me as I watched her bicep flex a little.

We started chatting, like we always did. Except every third step or so (yes, I was counting), RJ's hand would brush against mine as we walked. It was getting excruciatingly hard to focus on keeping my end of the conversation coherent.

"May I ask a question? It's kinda personal..." RJ gave me a quick glance.

"Sure! I think we are officially in friend territory now. My contract with Win-B expires in less than twelve hours."

"Right. Uh, so how serious is it with Keith?"

I laughed, "Oh, it's not serious at all. Like, strike it from the record. I met him at a dinner with some friends and came home and told Ian about him. We didn't even exchange numbers. It was months ago."

RJ stopped walking and looked at me, "So why was Ian talking about him like you guys were dating?"

I shrugged, "Because he was being protective. He thought you were mackin' on me and he wanted to throw you off."

"Did you think I was hitting on you?"

I shrugged again, "I thought you were being you... unless you've been hitting on me since day one?"

Gauntlet thrown...

"So nothing's happening with Keith?"

I allowed the dodge, "Nope. I'm single and fancy-free."

RJ nodded wordlessly.

"Why do you ask?" I asked as evenly as I could.

"Oh, you know, you haven't talked much about your personal life, except for Andy... and I basically made you listen to me go on and on about my family... I'm sorry if it was too much. It just kind of all came out..."

"Don't be sorry. Thank you for sharing all that with me. It means a lot."

"It means a lot to me, too."

We walked along in silence for a bit, our hands dancing back and forth in their own crazy magnetic field, and I finally just couldn't stand it anymore.

"RJ," I said.

"Yes?"

Here goes nothing. "I really want to hold your hand right now," I didn't dare look at her.

We kept walking. My heart was beating like it was about to burst.

A couple agonizing moments later, I felt the tips of her fingers reach for mine. "Me too," she said.

I let out a breath I hadn't even known I was holding. And then her fingers were tangled up with mine and our palms met. All the noises of the city muted to a dull hum; it was as if all my senses re-allocated their energies to feeling RJ's hand in mine.

RJ's hand was exactly as I had imagined it, but better. Her hand was slightly bigger than mine, and her fingers embraced the back of my hand with surprising warmth and strength. I didn't remember what it was like to not hold hands with her.

All too soon, we made the turn to head east towards the West Village.

"Nice digs," she said as we stopped in front of my apartment building.

I tucked some hair behind my ear, "It's because of all those obnoxious consulting fees I charge..."

I should ask if she wants to come up... I should-

My heart stopped as I felt RJ let go of my hand. I glanced down at my hand, now without its mate, and I didn't know whether to protest or cry.

But before my brain could figure that out, RJ's lips were on mine. I could only react. My hands cupped her face and I kissed her back with a ferocity that totally betrayed the depths of my feelings for her. Fuck it, I want this, I don't care of you break my heart into a million pieces.

RJ responded as aggressively, her arms were around me and possessing me as her lips claimed mine.

"Do you want to come upstairs?" I asked breathlessly when we separated. I could imagine Ian's look of disapproval already, but I didn't care.

"Yes. So much," RJ nodded as she nipped the side of my neck, "But..."

My stomach dropped. Oh shit, she's not going to go up with me.

"But," RJ looked deep into my eyes, "I can't. I promised Mona something for tonight."

"This late?" I looked right back at her. Her face was open, her eyes were sincere.

"Yeah," she nodded before her face split into a big grin, "Ellie, I'm so happy."

I reached up and kissed her, "Me too."

"I'll see you tomorrow," she brushed her thumb across my lips.

I nodded.

"Okay," RJ smiled and kissed me again, "And then maybe dinner as well?"

As long as dinner is me. "I'd like that."

"Okay," she said again, "Good night Ellie."

"Good night, RJ."

Chapter 5: An Unexpected Cooling Off (The Next Evening)

"Hello?" Ian picked up the phone.

"Hey, it's me."

"You got a new number?"

"My phone died. I busted my ankle-"

"WHAT?"

"I'm fine. I'm at the ER at Manhattan General. This is my one phone call from the front desk. I need you to come get me."

" Are you being discharged now?"

"No, I'm still waiting to see the doctor, so I'll be here for a while yet. Long line."

"Okay, I'm just wrapping up here. I can be there within the hour... unless you want me to go in to see the doctor with you?"

"Nah. Can you bring my insurance card when you come? It's in my top desk drawer."

"Got it."

"Thanks. You should see my ankle right now. It looks like a mini purple blowfish with a severe allergic reaction."

"Sounds lovely. What happened?"

"I wanted to run off some nervous energy before dinner with RJ. Went over to shoot some hoops on Houston Street. Got roped into a pick-up game, landed on my ankle wrong. Game over. The guys I was playing with carried me into a cab and brought me here."

"At least you're not nervous anymore."

"Thanks asshole. Oh, can you also call RJ and tell her I'm going to be late for dinner tonight?"

"Got it," Ian repeated.

I hung up after giving him RJ's number. I thanked the nurse and hopped back to my seat.

I had finished up at Win-B in the morning, and when I swung by RJ's office to say good-bye, she had a bunch of people in her office. She ducked out to give me a hug, but there were about four pairs of eyes on us.

"I can't wait to see you tonight," she said quietly in my ear. I smiled and gave her arm a squeeze, "Me neither."

And that was that. But instead of getting ready for dinner, I was sitting in the ER waiting room.

It was another forty-five minutes before I was seen by a doctor, who casually pronounced it a Grade II sprain.

"That means," he said with the tone of bored professor, "that it's a significant enough sprain that we'll need to put you in a boot for at least two weeks. A brace would probably work, but the boot is better, in my opinion. It's cumbersome and annoying, but you'll thank me in the long run."

Why do some doctors feel compelled to indicate how omniscient they are?

"Can I just thank you now?" I joked.

He didn't find it funny. "Do you have a PT you like?" He asked impatiently. Oh wow, he really didn't find it funny.

"Yes."

"Do some PT in the meantime, and then I want you to see Dr. O'Donnell for a follow-up. Camille, the nurse, will have her information and fit you out for a boot."

The doctor swept open the partition curtain and left. He didn't even give me a chance to thank him.

After another mind-numbing wait, Camille appeared. It turned out that it wasn't a boot so much as an exo-skeleton. It was ridiculously bulky. Great. That's gonna look really sexy. 'Hi RJ, I'm rolling up to our first date in a walking boot.'

Camille wagged a finger at me, "Don't you get whiny about this. Thank your lucky stars you don't need a cast... or surgery! Also, your boyfriend's here."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

Camille threw me a skeptical look, "Fine, your not-boyfriend who's been harassing the admitting nurse for the past fifteen minutes to let him come through."

I shot her an equally skeptical look, "Ian's not my boyfriend. He's gay."

"I sure am!!" Ian sang as he walked in.

"Figures," Camille scoffed as she left, "Tall, handsome, total drama queen..."

I laughed, "Oh, not at all playing to stereotypes, are we?"

"Hm, so not a life-threatening injury," Ian noted, "The snark is at normal levels."

"Thanks for coming, Ian. Did you reach RJ?"

Ian went white, "Oh shit. I totally forgot."

"What time is it? Quick, tell me!"

"Just after seven thirty," Ian looked at this phone.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK! Why didn't you call her? My phone's been dead all this time!"

Ian picked up my phone and tried to turn it on, "Yep. It's dead."

"CHARGE IT FOR ME!! I was supposed to meet RJ for dinner at seven. FUCK Ian, come on!"

Ian ran to the nurse's station and came barreling back through the curtains with a charger. He slammed it into the wall and jammed the other end into my phone. We both stared at the screen, willing it to come back to life.

It took forever to start up and when it did, I immediately saw that there were texts from RJ.

{RJ} See you in a few. Can't wait.

{RJ} Hey there - I'm at the restaurant.

{RJ} You ok?

{RJ} Hey, did I mess up? We were supposed to meet at 7, right?

I looked at Ian, who started apologizing, "I'll call her now, I'm so sorry Lauren, I was just so focused on getting here and then I don't know, I started panicking. You know I don't do well with stress."

"Bullshit. You work as a chef with multiple high maintenance clients!! Stress is your middle name! Give me your phone, I'LL call her!" I dialed RJ's number and prayed she'd pick up.

"Hello?"

"RJ!"

"Ellie?" She sounded unsure, and hurt.

"Yeah - hey - I'm sorry I'm late, but my phone died.. I had to go to the ER-"

RJ's tone changed immediately, "Which one? What happened?"

"Manhattan General. I sprained my ankle. I'm waiting to get discharged."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I mean no, it's painful, but it'll be fine. I'm sorry I missed our dinner. Do you, uh, want to come over to my place? We can order in instead?"

"That sounds good to me. I'm so glad you're okay. See you soon."

I put down the phone and looked at Ian, "You owe me, Ian Bishop, you owe me SO BIG it's going to take the rest of your life to wipe the slate clean."

I picked up my phone and stared at the texts from RJ. I felt bad that I stood her up. I glowered at the boot on my leg. It looked pathetic and I wondered how long it was going to take before it was back to full strength.

Camille finished processing the discharge papers soon afterwards, and Ian spent our cab ride home groveling and promising to never fuck up like that again.

He made it up to me immediately though; I needed help getting showered, and Ian being a six foot two gym rat pretty much made it happen without too much fuss. Except for the pain, of course. My ankle felt like the victim of a freight train hit-and-run, and while the boot made hobbling around possible, it was throbbing like an angry volcano that was shooting hot lava up and down my leg. I couldn't move anything below my waist without making something shift within the boot and causing me excruciating pain.

We decided that I should make my bedroom my home-base. It was closer to the bathroom, and honestly, I didn't have it in me to get myself to the living room. I was exhausted.

When RJ arrived, I cursed the injury silently - all I wanted to do was jump on her. Not only because she was gorgeous, as always, but also because I could tell she had dressed up for dinner. Crisply tailored pants, and a beautifully cut shirt with some sort of herringbone weave that tapered to her slim hips. And now that I knew they were there, I could also make out the muscles of her arm under the fabric.

"Hey," she looked me up and down and frowned a little when she saw my boot.

I smiled, "Not quite what I had in mind for tonight."

RJ sat down on the bed next to me, "Me neither."

My heart rate increased, "What did you have in mind, RJ?"

She blushed. It was enchanting. She wagged her finger, "Hm, you go first."

"I'll show you," I beckoned her closer. She leaned in a little. "Closer," I whispered. She leaned in a little more. I met her the rest of the way and kissed her.

Oh, what a glorious kiss it was. Last night, I was too staggered by our lips touching to really think about it as it happened. But now, I was noticing so many things: no stubble, first if all - just soft smooth warm skin on mine; the kiss itself was sweet but insistent - it felt purer somehow than other kisses I've had; her lips and tongue were making love with mine - confidently, intimately, lovingly.

RJ was leaning in at an awkward angle, so we couldn't really comfortably maintain contact.

"Lie with me," I patted the space next to me on the bed.

RJ smiled and slotted her lean frame along the side of my body. I lifted my head up and she slid an arm under, which allowed me to snuggle right into her body. I squeaked with pain when I moved my leg and she looked at me with concern.

"Stupid leg," I placed a hand on her chest and felt her heart beat. I brushed her lips with mine.

"I thought... when you didn't show up... that you changed your mind about us, about me..." RJ said quietly.

I looked up at her, "Ian, who I will deal with later, was supposed to call you because my phone died. I love him to death, but sometimes he goes into space cadet mode and it's infuriating. I am sorry I made you worry."

RJ smiled wryly, "I wasn't worried... I was devastated. I thought I'd lost my chance with you... or that you regretted kissing me... or that the kiss was a turn-off..."

"It wasn't a turn-off, but kiss me again, I want to make sure," I offered up my lips.

RJ pushed herself up on one elbow and with a quick shift of her legs, she was on top of me. I couldn't even feel the pain in my leg any more. Actually, I could: it was now throbbing with the intensity of pure lust that was coursing through my body, but RJ was kissing me and the exquisite weight of her body was more than enough to make me just surrender to her embrace.

"You know," I mused in between kisses, "This was not what I thought being in bed with you would be like..."

RJ's eyebrows popped up, "You thought about being in bed with me?" She rained kisses all over my face.

I tried to grab every part of her at once, "Oh, I've been thinking about doing all sorts of things with you..."

"I didn't think you were interested," RJ nuzzled my collarbone, "I mean, I would get these brief flashes that you were but I couldn't tell if it was just me being hopeful..."

I pressed my hips into her as an answer. She growled and started kissing my ear... and her hips were doing some sort of voodoo with mine... fuck... I never thought someone could make me come by just doing that, but RJ was getting me there...

I moved my legs to give her more room, "OW!" Holy shit that hurt.

She stopped and we looked at each other, both of us breathing heavily. "Sorry, I got carried away," she said, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"No, it was good, I was about to ..." I blushed when her eyes widened, "I want to... a lot... but..."

"It's okay, I know," RJ nodded, "You drive me crazy, you know that?"

I shook my head, "Not really... but I'm glad to hear it...because I've been trying process what you do to me, too."

The door to the room slammed opened, "Lauren, we're out of regular pain meds... I'm going out-Oh!"

Ian looked at RJ lying on top of me, "Are you guys, like, girlfriends now?"

Uh-oh. Oh, this might not end well.

RJ didn't even hesitate, "Yes!"

Oh my god oh my god oh my god she said yes!!

Ian gave me a pointed look, "Do you want me to grab dinner while I'm out? You seem to... um... have your hands full right now."

"Okay," I said meekly, "Thanks, Ian."

The moment the door closed, I looked at RJ, "You're my girlfriend now?"

"Do you want me to be?" RJ asked.

I pulled her in for a kiss, "Yes. Yesyesyesyesyesyes."

"Good," RJ beamed.

I've never had anyone look at me like the way she looks at me . Mona's warning suddenly pinged softly in my head, "I thought you said you didn't do stuff like this?"

"I know... but it's different with you. I, um..." RJ smiled, "I find that you hold my interest. In all the ways possible."

My heart and my brain and my clit started a symphony of throbbing, "Kiss me."

I grabbed her by her shirt and we kissed again. I tried to wrap my legs around her, but I couldn't. I yelped in pain and RJ immediately stopped, "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head and smiled, "No, I tried to move my leg again, I forgot I couldn't. You're very distracting."

She settled back down next to me, "Maybe it's better if I stay over here."

I frowned, but she had a point. RJ lying next to me in my bed was messing with my cognitive abilities. Even with the haze of pain coursing through my body, I was indescribably happy. And I knew it had nothing to do with the heavy-duty pain meds I got at the ER, which reminded me that I basically stood her up for our first date.

"Did you wait long at the restaurant?"

"Yup," RJ smiled, "I got there super early. Left work early..."

"Oh RJ, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," RJ stretched out next to me, "I thought I was going to have to spend the rest of my life getting over you. This is so much better."

"Even though I'm such an invalid right now?" I whispered.

"Yes," RJ picked up my hand and kissed every one of my fingers. "I like that I can be here with you," RJ closed her eyes as I brushed her cheek with my back of my hand.

"Isn't this one of those complications you don't like sticking around for?" I asked this playfully, but there was some sliver of truth there that formed an uncomfortable seed of doubt in my head.

"I did say that, didn't I?" RJ rubbed her nose, "I don't know, it doesn't feel complicated. Not with you."

"Explain," I needed to know why.

"You know how sometimes, you build a model and you know it's not going to work?"

I nodded.

"Relationships have felt like that for me. I throw in all the things I know it needs, but I just know that somehow, it's not going to work. It's like walking into a maze with no peripheral vision," RJ traced the path of one of my veins on my arm with her finger as she talked, "But with you, it just was so completely opposite to what I've ever experienced. In every way. First, you showed no interest in me..."

I coughed and laughed at the same time, "Oh my god RJ, I fell for you the first moment I met you."

"Really?" RJ chuckled, "Shows me how much I know. Second, it just seemed like having a conversation with you never took any effort. We would just talk. In the past, with most of my dates, I felt like 'oh, now we are having the shared interests conversation,' or 'oh, now we are talking about our families.' It sounds asinine... but that's exactly what it felt like."