Coulrophilia

Have you ever been to the circus? Nowadays I thought those were all but gone. But one fall season I saw posters around town for something called, "The Circus of Terror." With it being October I had assumed it was a pop up seasonal show or something for Halloween. I brought it up to my girlfriend as a potential date opportunity. The two of us had only been seeing each other for a short while, we met on one of those dating apps and bonded over our love of horror movies, so things were going smoothly.

I suggested it to her and we agreed to meet up that weekend, and the rest of the week just flew by until then. We had agreed to drive there separately, we wren's quite at the stage where we were picking each other up from our respective homes yet. But we met in the parking lot, getting our tickets and stepping onto the grounds.

It was about what you'd expect from an event advertised as a horror themed circus. There was a carnival with games and prizes and even a few rides. A few places to get food as well as a couple of haunted houses to explore. The grounds were full of people, both guests like us and people in costumes stalking around and scaring unsuspecting guests. I even caught scenes of a few planted actors getting pulled out of crowds and into who knows where, really freaked people out.

"Whoever put this together did a really good job," my girlfriend, Frida, said as we walked the grounds. We had been there a while already, having played a few games and gone on a few rides. We had stopped for food at one of the carts as we watched other people go by.

"Yeah, you'd think whoever did this would put their name on it or something?" I suggested.

"Unless it's like one of those anonymous artist types," Frida suggested.

"Maybe," I mused, but our conversation was cut short as an announcement came in over the loudspeakers.

"Attention guests, the main show is about to start under the main tent. You don't want to miss this horror show. Show begins in ten minutes!"

"Sounds like we should better find our seats," I said, "Don't want to miss the main event."

We found our way to the main tent, and found a place to sit. Once the seats were filled, the lights went out. A single spotlight coming down on the center of the tent. Illuminating the ringmaster. He was a slim figure, wearing an orange and black costume. The kind of thing you'd expect from a circus ringmaster. But his face was covered by an orange mask. It almost looked like a jack-o-lantern.

"Welcome, children of the night," his voice came in over the speakers as he welcomed the audience. "Tonight we have a special, one of a kind show for you. As you might expect, we ask you refrain from pictures or videos. Trust us, we'll know. We don't want evidence of what goes on here tonight getting out," he chuckled. "Now let me introduce our performers tonight!"

Music began to play as performers entered, colored lights coming on, the music getting louder until it hit a crescendo and the opening sequence came to an end. The show went on as you might expect. Acrobats doing high flying stunts, a juggler, a magician, animal acts. All of them had macabre twists for the season, the magician pulled someone from the audience and made them 'disappear' but never brought them back while the lion tamer pretended to feed a victim to the animals. In a decent sense of continuity I recognized the actor they brought out as someone who I saw get grabbed earlier from the crowd outside.

Overall it was an entertaining show, but there was one act that stuck with me a bit more than the others. About midway through the show, the clown act rolled out from their little clown car. Nothing unusual about that, and as they did their comedy routine I couldn't help but notice one of them. A woman, and I'll just say I'm not one of those clown fetish guys, but I could tell that beneath the face paint and the costume she was rather pretty. Though even with all of that she looked more like a Hot Topic model than a proper clown. She had minimal makeup, the white base with diamond shapes around her eyes, pink circles around her cheeks with a single black line of makeup on her upper lip as well as the traditional red nose. Her hair was a mix of black and green, as if she had dyed her hair a while ago and hadn't touched it up since then. She wore a black bowler hat and a torn up white shirt with horizontal black stripes as well as a pair of large orange pants held up by suspenders and the usual big red shoes.

Her whole thing was that she had been practicing a knife throwing routine and had coerced one of her compatriots to be the target. The whole joke being that her knife throwing had a tendency to actually hit the target rather than barely missing. But the part that made me think something was off was that as the act ended and the performers were taking their bows. I couldn't help but feel like she was looking at me. Just staring directly at me. Nobody else seemed to notice, not even my girlfriend as I looked back at her. And she smiled. It was a wide, unsettling smile. As if she knew the punchline to a very cruel joke.

The whole exchange only lasted a moment but it felt so much longer, but before I knew it the clowns had climbed back into their little car and drove off and the next act began.

I tried to let it go, it was probably part of the act. This was supposed to be a horror show after all. She had probably been instructed to pick someone random in the audience and stare at them like that to unsettle them. It was all part of the show and I was just the unlucky recipient.

But as the show came to an end and people started to leave, everyone saying one thing or another about the show.

"That was pretty great," Frida said as we walked back to our cars.

"Oh yeah," I said, "I think the magician was my favorite part." By now I had forgotten completely about that clown girl as Frida and I talked a bit longer, taking our time to get back to her car. Once there we said our goodbyes for the night and she surprised me with a kiss.

I stood by, probably looking like a fool as she drove away before I came to my senses and walked back to my car. By now the parking lot was mostly empty, save for a few stray cars here and there.

I was in the process of unlocking the door to my car when I heard a voice that made me jump.

"Hey!" It was a woman's voice. I was startled and turned around rapidly to find that same clown girl standing behind me, way too close behind me. Where did she even come from? I also noticed her hands were behind her back and I was suddenly very concerned with what she might be holding back there.

"Uh.. hey..." I said, thinking someone was taking their job a little too seriously. "Uh...good show tonight."

"Thanks," she giggled in a way that I recognized as an attempt at flirting. "My name's Lotti, I saw you in the audience and I hope you don't think this too forward of me but... you're pretty cute. If you want I can give you a private encore." She got even closer to me. I backed myself up against the door of my car. She was close enough I could see she had yellow eyes.

I was not really used to women hitting on me, but even if I was single I was still getting really bad vibes from this chick. Something about her seemed off and I wasn't about to find out what it was.

"Uh.. while that's super tempting I have a girlfriend," I said, trying to not sound nervous. Suddenly I was remembering her thing with knives, it's not like they were real right? She wouldn't have any on her right now would she?

"Hmm, I figured you might. It was that girl sitting next to you wasn't it?" She asked, I didn't really want to answer that. "Well, that's okay," she continued, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? It's not like you two have been together that long anyway right?"

How did she know that? Had she been following us? Listening to our conversations? I suddenly felt like I had to get out of there right now.

"True... but I have to be up really early tomorrow, work and all that you now," I said as I reached behind me to grab the handle to my car door. "Well, I gotta get going. Maybe next time, you know?"

She smiled at me, that same smile that filled me with dread. I could see from this distance that all her teeth were sharpened. It didn't look like a costume prosthetic but then again I wasn't exactly an expert but I also didn't want to sit there and think about it. "Sure," she said, "maybe next time."

"Okay, well... I'll see you later," I said as I pulled the car door open and slipped inside, closing the door behind me. She just stood there as I started the car, watching as I tried not to look at her while I put the car into gear and pulled away from her. As I was driving away I could see her still standing there in my rear view mirror. She was waving at me and I could see she had a knife in her hand.

I was suddenly very relieved that I got away from her. I don't want to think about what might have happened if I did agree to go with her. However, as I drove home I began to feel like she was just messing with me. Wanting to give out one last scare before they packed everything up for the season. I was probably overthinking things.

At the time I didn't even think much of the car that caught up with me as I drove home. The carnival grounds were a little out of the way so it made sense that most people would have to go the same way to get home. Even if they did drive just a little too close to me. I was used to people tailgating, that was nothing new.

Even as they followed me into the city I didn't think much of it. This was a college town and a lot of students lived around the same neighborhood if they didn't stay in the school dorms. I was staying in an apartment building a few blocks from the school.

I parked my car in the usual spot, checking my phone I saw a message from Frida, saying she got home safe. I thought about messaging her about what had happened after she left but I decided now wasn't the time. I just replied to her that I just got back home too and that I'd talk to her tomorrow. It was late and I only really wanted to go to bed.

I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and found my door, unlocking it and stepping inside, taking my shoes off at the door. My roommate, Seth, was still up playing Call of Duty which was common for him. He was the typical stoner type who stayed up all night playing video games.

"Hey," he said mildly as I came in. "How'd it go?"

"It was good yeah," I said, "I think I got hit on by one of the performers."

"Ooh, nice dude," Seth said, "was she hot?"

"Depends on how much you like clowns," I told him, "but I guess under all the makeup and stuff, yeah."

"Nice," Seth said, still not turning his gaze away from the TV screen in front of him.

"She was kinda creepy about it," I went on. "Honestly I think she was fucking with me, taking her job a little too seriously, you know."

"Yeah, probably," Seth said, "you never know though. Crazy chicks can be fun."

I left the conversation at that and retired to my room for the night. I collapsed onto my bed and almost immediately passed out. My concerns for the night temporarily forgotten.

Unfortunately it didn't stay that way.

I woke up to some kind of commotion going on outside my room. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was barely an hour after I had come home. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed. It was probably nothing, Seth probably tripped over something but I figured I should check just in case something was broken.

I opened the door and walked down the hall to the living room and saw the TV was still on, Seth's game was still going but he was just sitting there on the couch. Did he pass out? He's done that before, but there was another thing that caught my attention and seemed of more dire importance.

The front door was wide open.

Whoever did it broke the lock somehow and forced their way in. I'm shocked Seth didn't hear it.

"Dude, wake up," I said as I turned to him and stopped. I suddenly felt sick as I broke into a cold sweat. Seth was dead, his throat had been cut open. Blood covered his torso and stained the couch. I froze, I didn't know what to do... my phone... I had to call the cops...

I ran back to my room and looked for my phone, I could have sworn I left it on the table next to my bed. But now it was gone. I looked on my bed, thinking maybe I dropped it and it got tangled up in my sheets.

I didn't even hear her coming. I suddenly felt an arm wrap around my neck and pull back hard. "Looking for something?" A woman's voice said into my ear. I didn't have to look to know it was the clown girl from before. She must have followed me somehow.

I wanted to scream, call for help, but before I could she pressed a knife to my chest. I could see blood on the blade, Seth's blood. I trembled in fear as the sharp tip poked at my skin beneath my shirt.

"Now be a good boy and be quiet for me, okay," she told me. "I'd hate to have to kill you before I had my fun." I tried to struggle against her but she was surprisingly strong. I couldn't break free of her, and even when I tried I felt her knife pressing harder against me.

"I said be good," she growled. "Or I can make this very painful for you."

I stopped fighting her. I'd just have to go along with whatever she wanted and look for a chance to escape.

"So, are you going to be good?" She asked me, "I'll definitely make it worth your while."

I didn't want to think about what she meant by that, I just nodded.

"Good," she said, and before I could do or say anything she hit me in the head. Hard enough to make my vision go blurry until I was knocked out.

When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I noticed was how much my head hurt. But when my vision began to clear I could see that I was in a room I didn't recognize.... No, not a room. A tent, a decently sized one. She must have taken me back to the carnival grounds. I tried to sit up but three things were stopping me. One was that my hands were cuffed together behind my back, another was the fact that she was laying beside me, her head laying on my chest and her arm wrapped around my torso. I could see her hand gripping a chain, one that seemed to trail up to my neck. Was I wearing a collar?

I looked back to her, she looked like she was asleep, should I dare call for help? If I woke her up I'd definitely be dead.

I began to hear voices, a few men outside of the tent. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying but I decided to risk it as I suddenly called out loudly.

"Help! Somebody help me!" I called out. I could hear them stop talking as I did, they said something amongst themselves, I couldn't make it out but they didn't sound very concerned before it sounded like they walked away.

"Nobody's going to come for you," her voice said from beyond my vision. I felt her hugging me tightly. "Everybody knows," she said as looked down at her, "they've probably got victims of their own tied up somewhere.

"So..." I said, "Is this what you guys do? Kidnap people, and kill them?"

"Hmm, sometimes," she answered, "some get used in acts, some get fed to the animals. If you're really lucky you get recruited." She reached a hand up and placed it along my cheek. "I'm going to try to get the boss to let me keep you," she said softly. "So long as you're a good boy, I'll treat you really good. Okay?" She tugged lightly on the chain, I felt the tug around my neck in response. Yes, I was definitely wearing a collar.

"O..okay," I said, I was playing along, still looking for any chance to escape. "How long was I out?"

"About two days, I think," she said. "We've moved since then so I wouldn't worry about anyone coming to look for you."

A pit filled my stomach, we were probably states away by now. No doubt someone found the state of my apartment by now, and Seth...

I racked my brain for anything I could do to get out of this but I came up with nothing as she sat up and straddled herself over me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well, just in case the boss won't let me keep you, I want to have my fun while I have the chance," she said, smiling down at me. She was grinding her hips against me. I knew what she had in mind.

She reached into her pants and pulled out a knife, I wasn't sure if this was the same one that she used to kill Seth or not. It seemed like she kept multiple on her. But it didn't matter in the end as she used it to cut open my shirt, exposing me to her. I felt very vulnerable as she slid her free hand over my torso. "Mmm, your skin is so soft," she said, I then felt the cold metal of the knife. "We'll fix that."

I felt the blade dig into my skin, my voice caught in my throat as I tried to shout, scream, something. When it finally stopped my voice came back and I led a shuddering groan in pain. I don't think she cut me very deeply, not yet anyway.

She lowered her face to my chest and I felt her licking the fresh wound, I wanted to squirm, shove her off and run away but I was stuck. No matter how hard I pulled the cuffs around my wrists only dug deeper into my skin.

"I love the way you taste, baby," she said as she looked up at me, she suddenly kissed me. I didn't resist her for fear of her hurting me if I did. Her tongue invaded my mouth and I could taste my blood, I felt sick. Before I could really react she withdrew her tongue and bit down on my lip. She bit a little too hard and I groaned in pain and protest as she drew blood from me. She continued to kiss me, her body grinding against mine.

I hated the feeling of myself stiffening between my legs as my body reacted on its own to her advances.

"Mmm, getting hard for me already, baby?" She asked in a low, breathy tone. She smiled and kissed me again. "We'll get to that, don't worry."

She sat up and actually set the chain down, "Don't even think about trying to run," she said, seeming to already know what I had in mind. Then again, she was still on top of me so it wasn't like I was in much position to try and escape anyway.

I had to sit there and watch as she looked down at me, smiling that creepy smile as she reached up and slipped the straps of her suspenders over her shoulders. She was slow as if she were putting on some kind of strip tease for me and if I hadn't been kidnapped and held against my will I might have been into it. But now it just filled me with dread as I anticipated her next move, forced to just sit and wait.

She still held the knife in her hand as she reached down and slowly grabbed the torn bottom of her shirt, pulling it up over her head and throwing it to the side. She was wearing a bra underneath. A dark sports bra that seemed like it was containing a decently sized chest I'd have appreciate under more normal circumstances.

She didn't bother to pull the bra off, she just took the knife to it and cut it off, letting the pieces fall to the mattress. With her free hand she grasped her own chest. It was then I really noticed that what I thought was white paint on her face extended over her whole body. I was starting to think that wasn't paint coloring her face at all.

"You wanna touch me?" She asked me and I froze, not sure how to answer that.

She suddenly stabbed the mattress, just to the side of my stomach, making me flinch. "Answer me!"

"Y-yes," I managed to say. "Though... I can't exactly use my hands right now."

"Nice, try," she said as she picked up the chain again, she pulled it and forced me to sit up. "You'll have to earn the right to use those," she said. She had let go of the knife and gripped my head by the hair and pushed my face into her chest. "Admit it, these tits are way better than what's her face you were hanging out with right?"

"Yes," my muffled voice came out, I was just telling her whatever I thought she wanted to hear.