Country Gin

She kept her focus down and put on my warrior sandals.

"There. The shoes are done. Lets get that sword put on", as she turned and looked up at me.

"Ooh. Looks like you already have a sword", as her eyes got large, "And its a two handed model!"

She grabbed my cock with both hands and started to draw it to her open mouth.

Nerd that I am, I panicked.

I grabbed my sweats, flung the door open and ran to the front of the store in full costume. I slammed a fist full of hundreds from my wallet on the counter and kept going out the door.

I jumped in the car.

"Corny! Drive. Now."

"Whut in tarnation did yo' does to thet gal son, thet yer runnin' out this hyar fast?" He laughed, but Corny started the car and peeled out of the parking lot.

"Oh, an ah think your lit'l skirt is sooo cute." He smiled a shit eating grin.

===

After the costume store, I got the directions for the Playboy Mansion from my smartphone and directed Corny. My cock had calmed down.

I looked at Corny's costume. He had on a new pair of overalls and no shirt.

"Why didn't you get a costume, Corny?"

"Ah did, yo' blind? Ah's goin' asa horny farmer. See th' nudie hat?"

I looked at his cap. It was new. It had the shiny metal reclining nude silhouette you see on trucker mudflaps. The lady's chest was prominent.

On the new coveralls, the side opening under the arms were wide and went way lower than usual, almost to mid-hip. Corny showed a lot of rippling farm muscles. And it was plain that Corny was also going commando.

By the time we got to the Mansion it was 10:00 PM, probably still a little early for this party. Corny pulled into the Valet line and two lovely young ladies in very proper business suits came forward to meet us from the main valet station as we got out. Their attire was very conservative with all the buttons buttoned and skirts to the knee. I was sort of expecting more skin at a Playboy Mansion party, but they were still very attractive and built, even though everything was covered up. I presented our invitation to the babe with the clipboard and she checked it against her list. She nodded to the other girl, then turned to walk back to the main entry. As she turned my eyes bugged out. The entire back of her clothes were cut away. Gone. No underwear, no nothing. I watched her cute ass sway as she walked back. I quickly whipped my head over to the other girl who got the keys from Corny. She turned around and walked back to the car and got in. Same costume.

Corny had a smile a mile wide. "Whooee. I luv Californee"

We went in past security (big burly guys with black suits, ear pieces and all their clothes) and entered the Mansion. We could hear that a band was pounding out a beat out back so we walked through to the exterior grounds.

Corny surveyed the revelers.

"Thar's mo'e hot pussy hyar than a pet sto'e in July when th' air corndishuner craps out." he exclaimed.

"Really? That's the best line you could come up with Corny?"

"Hey. ah's jest a dum'ol hick fum th' sticks, not William Shakespeare. Whut ah cain't unnerstan is how yo' kin look aroun' this hyar place wif jest yer li'l ol' warrio' skirt on wifout yer cock stan'in' up. "

Oh shit. I wished he hadn't mentioned that. I looked around. There were slutty nurses, slutty vampires, slutty cow girls... I could feel my warrior skirt rising. Hefner had more Grade A breasts here than Frank Perdue could ever hope for. I thought of baseball statistics. It helped...a little.

"I'm starvin," exclaimed Corny. We noticed several men with food walking towards us.

"Excuse me, but where can we find food?", I asked.

"Over on the left towards the back, under those blue lanterns. Make sure you get some strawberries. I went back for seconds."

We found the tables with food. There was a huge array of tables and lots of people. So many people that we couldn't see all the food from where we were. Corny went towards a chef all decked out, carving beef.

I was so nervous I really wasn't very hungry, but a few strawberries sounded about the right size meal so I went looking for the dessert section.

I looked all over without luck, but there was this one area that had so many guys around I couldn't see what food was there. Since I had seen most of the others, this must be the dessert. I gently elbowed past guys coming out with strawberries until I got up to the table, and then I stopped and stared.

There was a long white linen covered table. Lying on the table were three beautiful girls. They were naked, except one was covered in whipped cream, one in chocolate and one in caramel. They were also covered in strawberry haves and apple slices, embedded in the toppings. I watched transfixed as men came up and dipped their hand to get a fruit slice and then get more topping by sliding the fruit across the girl. Much of the topping was gone, especially around the tits and pussy.

A voice spoke from behind me.

"Hard to decide, isnt it?" I looked and saw a handsome man in a revealing Tarzan costume nodding his head toward the girls. "Are you going to grab some, or are you still deciding?"

"N-n-no. You go ahead." I stepped aside and Tarzan walked up and took a strawberry from the landing strip of the center girl and slide it across both tits, nipple to nipple to pick up some whipped cream.

I did an about face and stepped out of the crowded line. I looked for Corny, but couldn't see him.

I left the food area and started to stroll, staying out of the big crowds around the dance band and pool.

As I lingered on the fringe of the crowd looking for Corny, I couldn't get over how many gorgeous girls were here, all in erotically revealing costumes and in various stages of sexual engagement with the men (and some ladies) present. I wonder if all the adult parties that I missed in college and later were like this but on a smaller scale. Would this be my future? Even with the new me I don't know if I can actually work up the courage to participate in something like this.

As I looked at all the costumes, I saw a tall redhead in a Cubs baseball jersey and very short shorts walking in my general direction. Although the jersey was only unbuttoned somewhat, the material must be very thin and clingy as I can clearly the outline of her tits bouncing and swaying as she walked. As she got closer I wondered if she was looking at me.

"Hello, I haven't seen you at these parties before have I, my name is Janet." She came and put her hand on my shoulder as she walked in front of me and smiled.

"H-h-hello Janet, I am David. No, this is my first time here. I am looking for a friend of mine, his name is Corny." I tried to politely keep my eyes glued to hers and not stare at her body.

"I like your outfit David, very Spartan. I haven't seen anyone named Corny, perhaps we could find a comfortable spot and let him find us. We could Sparty Party."

She trailed her hand down my chest to my leather skirt. Then her hand slipped under and stroked my now hard cock. Startled, I looked down at her hand. That's when I noticed that her jersey wasn't a thin fabric clinging to her body. It was paint. The jersey was painted on and she was naked. I panicked again.

"T-t-thanks, but I have to keep looking for Corny", I squeeked. I backed up and got away from her quickly.

She just watched me move away until I took a corner and was out of sight.

Idiot! You now have the body of a god, but you still run away anytime a pretty girl smiles. I was embarrassed and angry at myself. Maybe I should just give up and go home. In my shame, my cock went flaccid and I kept walking.

I wandered away from the band and the dancing and the lights. Out at the fringe of the grounds there were garden areas with trees and shrubs and benches. I figure I would get out of sight and just sit and think for a while. I needed to decide once and for all, what do I really want? Do I truly want sex if I wouldn't take it when offered. Why did I wish for this body if I am not going to use it. I was disgusted at my pathetic actions.

I walked around a high wall of shrubs and just about ran into a witch sitting on one corner of a wooden flat bench. The bench was along a stone wall which marked the end of the Mansion grounds. I could go no farther away from all the party people. The witch didn't even look up, so I sat down on the other end.

I looked her over. She was a small mousy girl. No chest to speak of. Her black costume was buttoned to the neck and her dress went to her ankles. It hid most of her and her witch hat hung low as she stared at her feet. I couldn't see her face, but the rest of her screamed Plain Jane or less. Not your usual Playboy material. She didn't talk so I guess I needed to say something.

"Taking a break from dancing?, I asked tentatively.

"No. Giving up", she said in a quiet, sad voice.

She raised her head to look at me and I saw she had a big nose, heavy eyebrows yellowed teeth and washed out blond hair scraggily peeking out from the hat. She wasn't plain, she was ugly.

"Giving up...?", I said turning to her.

"Look at all the other women. What man will have me when there are pretty girls everywhere? I will never have sex."

She looked up at me with teary eyes. She shook her head and looked back down at her feet. I remembered my new bod. My looks just seemed to depress her.

"You'll find someone some day. You can't give up." I said. Who am I kidding. I am the King of giving up.

She looked at me and laughed. "Would you kiss a face like this?" Her head drooped down even lower.

OK. Decision time. I can keep steering clear of girls and sex even though Corny gave me all the tools any guy could ever want. Or I can use this new bod and get someone out of the same rut I have been in all my life, at the same time getting me out too, possibly for good.

So I reached around to her chin with my right hand, tilted her head around and her face up to mine and leaned in to kiss her.

Whoops! How does a guy kiss anyways? I had never kissed a soul. I had no experience and now I needed some.

Shaking, I leaned farther in. Our lips touched. I tried to keep it real soft and gentle, just brushing her lips with mine. I brought my lips slightly away for two counts, then stared in her eyes and lightly closed the gap to kiss again.

I did that about four times, then it felt like I was stuck in a loop. What the fuck did they do next in movies. I should have watched less porn and more RomComs. They don't show the romantic kissing in porn.

I tried to remember the kissing sequences in normal movies. WWBCD? (What would Bradley Cooper Do), I thought . Then I remembered I saw him down by the pool earlier. I probably don't have time to trot over and ask.

I placed my left hand behind her head and tried to kiss more deeply, while opening the lips up a bit. The girl(I don't even know her name) opened her lips, tilting her head into me.

I know that somewhere around this point in the action the tongue comes into play. How? I had no clue and was terrified of repulsing the girl and looking like an idiot, or worse a creep. I tried lightly touching my tongue to her lips as I backed off a bit and then went into deep kissing again. Bingo, I felt her tongue come out and enter my mouth. I just flailed around a bit and hoped I didn't do anything stupid.

Next step, I lowered my right hand from under her chin to down to her left breast. Wasn't much there and it was all underneath the button up costume, but I heard a couple of soft moans from her. I must be on the right track.

Without looking, I decided to try to unbutton her top with my right hand, while I kept kissing and cradling her head with my left. I slid my right hand to the seam of buttons (what is that called in a shirt/blouse? I have no idea). My fingers slid in between the buttons and I started to undo one of the upper middle buttons.

Wait! I just realized something. My hand slid into the button seam opening. Her blouse had the button seam opening on her left. My shirts were all open on my right. Which means that when a right handed guy went to do a blind unbutton on a girl, her opening was to his right. This meant he didn't have to awkwardly reach over the buttons and come in from his left to get to the open button seam. What excellent foresight and engineering. Those blouse makers were really thinking ahead.

But even with that engineering advantage, I could not get those stupid buttons open. I need to practice this move at home, but for now what do I do? Her moans were getting louder and her hands were traveling up my thighs. I needed a solution. Now.

Well its time to use those rippling muscles. Still keeping the kiss. I dropped both hands to the button seam and pulled apart as hard and as fast as I could. Wow. Those muscles sent buttons flying everywhere and a loud rip could be heard. I brought my head back and looked. Her blouse was completely open and off her shoulders. The small piece of the shredded blouse was dangling loose in my hand and the remaining large piece was dangling from one of her wrists. She flicked it off and was naked from the waist up. She hardly had tits at all. Is AAA a tit size or just a battery?

I returned to kiss her, cradling her head in my hand, smashing my lips against hers. She returns the pressure! OK. What am I supposed to do next? Damn those jump cuts in internet porn.

I return my left hand to behind her head while dropping my right hand back to her tit. I start to massage. Oh shit. Is this second base or first base? I run my finger over her nipple, she sighs. OK. Let's plot this out spatially. I guess I drop down step by step, right, left. So while I hold the kiss I drop my left hand to her tit and both hands massage. I then slide my right hand down her side and under her ass and as I slightly lift, I walk my kisses over her chin, down her neck and to her right nipple. I kiss, and then use my tongue. I circle with my tongue, then flick as her nipple hardens.

"Oooo" she whispers.

Now what? Am I supposed to write the alphabet with my tongue or is that the clit? God, next time I am going in with diagrams and note cards.

I lick the nipple and gently bite and pull a bit. She moans louder.

Meanwhile....under my skirt, Corny's gift is in full bloom. Both of the witch's hands are under my skirt and caressing my cock. Oh god it feels wonderful. I lose my train of thought for a few seconds, then shake my head to clear it, but forget I still have her tit between my teeth.

She gasps.

I have to remember that one.

My hand continues past her ass, down her skirt, under her hem and back up her inner leg. I feel for her panties. Whoops, no panties. My fingers feel wetness and she starts to grind against my hand. I grind my palm back. I lay her down, swing my leg over the bench and straddle her as I lift her skirt to her waist. My cock is pointing at the moon. I grab it and bring the head down into her pussy. I move the head in between her lips and touch the head to her sex hole.

And suddenly my reptile brain kicks in. And as my eyes fluttered close, my hips buck forward with a mind of their own. I sink balls deep into her pussy and she lets out this squeek/scream.

"YESSSS!!!!"

I then realized I was fucking her. I was no longer a virgin. These sensations are intense. She was warm and so very tight. I left myself in deep and opened my eyes. She was smiling and radiant. Not "happy sex" radiant, I mean she was "emitting light" radiant. And she was getting brighter and brighter. Soon, I couldn't look directly at the light. There was a flash, and I was blown backwards out of her pussy and off the bench onto the ground. The purple spots started to clear and I saw her.

She wasn't a mousey librarian anymore. She was the sexiest women I had ever seen.

She had silky blond hair past her shoulders. Wavy and beautifully draping across her shoulder and over one of her breasts. Her breasts. They were large, I have no clue what cup size, I don't know those things. Each had a lovely pink nipple. Past her flat stomach I saw a soft mound of light blond hair, soft hips and long, long legs.

I was in an dazed state, but my mind searched for answers. "What happened? Who are you? I don't understand..."

She smiled and started to talk.

"Hi. My name is Cindy."

"My mother died in childbirth and my father remarried when I was just 7. I didn't like step-mom from the start. It was easy to see the bitch didn't love my father, she was just after his gold. But she was really hot and Daddy was thinking with the little head. She and her two daughters moved in and because my father was away a lot, the ol' bitch thought she was queen of the castle. She always ordered me around and I had to do all the chores, while her daughters just sat on their asses.

As I was growing up, I was always pretty, but then I hit puberty. I kept growing up plus started to grow out. Every guy I met became became a drooling idiot. My step-mother and step-sisters got insanely jealous just because everyone said I was the fairest in the land."

"What far land do you come from?" I asked.

"Orange County."

She continued. "Anyway by my 18th birthday Skankster and the Skankettes took action. They gave me this apple filled with roofies for a snack and I was out cold. Next thing I knew I was in our basement, naked in front of some goth bitch dressed like Elvira but with B cups. She had me tied up on this giant wooden X. Who knew Dad was into that stuff? Turns out step-mom took some of my father's gold and hired a witch from Craigslist. The witch bitch put a bunch of these smelly ingredients in a giant casserole dish and shoved it into the microwave which Dad had on the counter of our wetbar in the basement. She turned it on, and in just minutes I heard a little ding and a giant flash of light. I guess I passed out. When I came to, I was on my bed in my room upstairs. My stepmother was there and she told me to look in my mirror. I screamed when I saw my reflection. She said that the witch had cast a spell on me that made me ugly. And I would stay ugly until I was fucked by a handsome prince. Plus I couldn't tell anyone about the spell or I would stay ugly forever. I knew I was screwed, who would want to stick his dick in a ugly hag like me?"

"Sort of like Frog Prince Meets Sword in the Stone", I quipped.

"Yeah, sort of...," Cindy rolled her eyes.

"I tried everything to get laid. Clubs, Tinder, swinger websites, drunken frat parties. No takers. Once they got a look at that hag face and that lame body, they ran like gazelles at a Lions Club dinner. I came here tonight figuring maybe if some guy got drunk enough he would think everyone here must be a 10 and wouldn't look too closely in the dark.

But you weren't drunk. You fucked me even though I was ugly. I am so grateful and I am going to thank you all night. Plus you are a hunk. And this baseball bat between your legs doesn't hurt either.

This whole experience has taught me that true beauty lies on the inside.

And tonight I am going to suck your inner beauty right out through your cock."

Well we fucked away the night and early morn. Cindy stayed with me for several months and taught me all about sex. And being a double doctorate, I was an avid learner.

We eventually drifted apart. It was lust, not love. Last I heard she was in the adult film industry out in the valley. Her performance in Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs was up for an AVN award.

I never did find Corny at the party, but I get a Instagram from him every month or two showing Corny and a bevy of babes, usually fairly naked, each time from a different beach or hot spot around the globe. He looks very happy.

What about me? Well after Cindy, my confidence skyrocketed and I used my wealth and my hot bod (and my trusty Louisville Slugger) to cut a swath through the Hollywood party scene. I was living large.