County Road 5

"I know, but it just seems like there should be something more."

I saw a cloud pass over Jason's face. I was afraid that he could read my thoughts, but then he seemed to shrink into himself.

"I haven't wanted to tell you this, but I've been feeling something similar, that there should be something 'more.' I don't know what it is, but sometimes I feel like a mouse in a maze, or a hamster in a wheel, running as fast as I can, just to end up in the same place."

We were alone in our own thoughts for a bit, then I looked up to see Jason smiling down at me. I couldn't imagine how he could smile given the conversation that we just had, but he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I responded with a passion that I hadn't felt for so long, and before I knew it Jason had carried me off to bed where we made love until we fell asleep spent.

I woke up first and went to use the bathroom. While showering, I thought back over the previous night. I'm not so much of a romantic that I thought that one night of love-making could solve all of our problems, but I had new hope that together we could solve them.

Jason showered while I made breakfast and came into the kitchen just as I was putting everything on the table.

He got his coffee and sat down opposite me.

"Thanks for making breakfast, it looks delicious."

I just smiled as we ate, occasionally stealing glances at each other.

We cleared the table and Jason washed the dishes while I got dressed.

Jason came into the bedroom to get dressed, and he shocked the shit out of me.

"I think we should go home," he said.

"Home? But we are home."

"I mean to Emmitsville."

"Emmitsville? Why, when we worked so hard to get out of there? Why would we want to go back there?"

"I don't mean permanently. But I feel like we've lost something. I know it sounds silly, but maybe if we go back to where we started, we can find it again."

I did think it sounded silly, but Jason was insistent, and remembering that night I decided that we had to do something, and I had no better ideas, so as soon as we could schedule the vacation time, we found ourselves on County Road 5.

We carefully climbed the ladder to the loft. Jason followed behind, ready to catch me if I fell. I smiled at the thought; we'd probably both hit the ground, poor Jason cushioning my fall.

The loft was just as I remembered it, maybe a little mustier, but that might have been all in my mind.

We just sat there with our arms around each other, lost in our own thoughts, then Jason seemed to make up his mind about something.

"I think you should go back to school."

"What? Why?"

"I know it's not our only problem, but you're bored with your job. You're an intelligent woman, you need to do something that challenges you. I make enough money now, and I'm sure we can make it work. You already have your associate's degree; it should only take you a couple of years to get your bachelor's degree."

"What would I do?"

"Whatever you want. You don't have to decide right now."

My head was spinning. I had never thought about going back to school. Could I do it? Jason had faith in me, but he loved me. That shook me; I realized that part of my problem was that I had thought that Jason was getting bored with me, that maybe he didn't love me as much as before. Now I realized that he did still love me, that he had faith in me. I was determined to reward his faith by being the best me that I could be.

"You said that it's not our only problem. What else do you think is the problem?

"Well, my travel is the main thing, along with my hours. Unfortunately, there's not much that can be done with the hours, but I've talked to my boss, and it won't be any time soon, but I'm in line for a promotion that won't require so much travel.

"With any luck, I should have the promotion by the time you finish school. Meanwhile, you'll be so busy with school you won't even miss me when I'm gone."

I punched him on his arm.

"Don't be so sure of that, Buster. I'll need you more than ever, to quiz me, and rub my shoulders when they get tight," I said with a grin.

He pushed me down and lay over me, supported by his arms.

"I love you so much," he said as he lowered his lips to mine, and soon our tongues were dueling as my mind wandered back to when we first made love up in that loft.

I started unbuttoning his shirt, and soon we were rolling back and forth, frantically undressing each other, then we were making love as if it were our first time all over again.

We were lying in each other's arms enjoying the afterglow, when we saw the shooting stars through the hay loft window. It was a good omen.

I knew we still had a lot of work to do, but I knew we were going to be all right.

I did go back to school. I had to take some summer classes to make up for classes that I couldn't take at the community college, but in two years I had my bachelor's degree and a job with Jason's company.

We both worked hard, but our jobs were stimulating, and we played hard, too, both in and out of the bedroom.

Jason's on another business trip, but when he comes home, he's going to find that he has a new job.

I just came back from the doctor, and we're going to have a baby.