All Comments on 'Crumple Zone'

I really liked this story and gave it 5 stars. In the end it looks like Marc has entered into a polyamorous relationship with Holly and Hank. Polyamory is something we are all going to start seeing a lot more of in this country. And in my opinion there can be no better polyamorous relationship than one man and two bisexual women. But then again I am a guy, so what can you expect. However the story was well written and the characters believable.

Loved the story but it drives me crazy to think of a woman watching as her husband is beaten to a pulp by two assholes. Would have loved for them to experience some retribution.

3*s. Why? Disjointed, wandered all over the place. Ended weak.

Disjointed. Hard to read. Doesn't flow well. Gave up.

It takes a special deftness to insert the romance in a situation like that, thank you.

I know you wrote Marc to be the passive, polite type, but my only real issue with the story is the lack of a more emotional response to being beaten by Holly during the misunderstanding in bed. This dude should have some PTSD about that with how his marriage ended. I would have liked him to have left quickly so there is some conflict....or maybe have Holly really hurt him, something.... It just seemed very unfulfilling how quickly he was back in bed.

Maybe it's just me...

Otherwise, another great story!

I like many of your stories but somehow this one fell flat for me....

No problem with Microsoft SPELL Check but it would have been a good idea to re-read your work. Quite liked the story even given that it is most men’s fantasy…. Two beautiful and very horney women??? What could be better??

Thank you,

A great story, and given the fact you seem to excel at writing stories full of flawed characters, this is definitely par for the course. Yet, I can seem to feel sorry for Marc, and disgusted by Holly. He's a good man, one who has been "burnt" by his ex-wife, and I can totally understand why Holly, and then Hank both fell in love with him and decided they wanted him to father their children. But Holly started coming tonthat decision after going for dinner with him on the day his divorxe became final. She heard him tell him what happened, heaed him say that his ex-wife had lied and used him for her own benefit... and then decides to do the same thing to him. I'm not saying she should have told him that she was married then and there, but in that time they spent together, alone at work, and with Hank, surely she would have noticed him falling in love with her and her wife, and she never thought it was worth mention that Hank was in fact her wife, and that while they loved him, and wanted him in their lives, part of it was because they wanted him to be the father of their children? I've got nothing against bisexuality, or even polyamory, but he deserved to know what was happening before he commited to it. He deserved to know the truth and have the chance to say no before was tricked into the situation. Maybe it will all work out, maybe there is a happy ever after in the future for all 3(5?) of them living together as a family, but the simple fact is by not knowing until both Holly and Hank were pregnant, the two women who apparently love have have put hin in a position where saying no means also abandoning his children.

Polyamory works, I know this from personal and second hand experience, but it only works if there are no secrets and where everyone is on the same page. As for children and polyamory, sadly Ive seen relationships fall apart because of the lack of stability amongst the parents, and this is where Marc and his girls are heading. They are married, and protected by everything that means, but Marv is what? A Roommate? A sperm donor? A dildo with a heartbeat? Until that question is answered he will forever be a third wheel baby trapped into staying around for the wellbeing of his children. He deserves better than another relationship built on on a foundation of lies.

FTDS....Marc left because he asked Holly to marry him to which she declined because she was married to Hank which Holly had never disclosed to Marc. Marc leaves, Holly finds him to talk, but you never really resolve this dynamic. Does Marc end up the odd man out? Does Holly divorce Hank and marry Marc? Does Holly and Hank divorce and Hank marries Marc?....what's the final outcome...inquiring minds want to know.

Just not up to your usual standards. No character to like or root for. MC is way to weak and meek. The ending fell flat and made MC just a sad and spineless pushover.

What a fun story. Loved it. Felt I was right there with them living sweet times in LA. Pass them redbeans and rice and buttermilk pie.

I feel a bit bad for Mark. Does he ever find his true love? Or is he doomed to be just a tool--an approved male role model for two children--for two women who are each other's true love? Polyamory isn't really a tenable relationship.

What man wouldn’t feel like he were living in a waking dream?

Yeah, but the tagline for this story is “Being used don’t feel too good.” And since the story really isn’t about the ex-wife, but about Hank and Holly, I have difficulty reconciling that line with the ending of the story, where Marc seems to be going along with the women’s program.

Because he was being used. Hank and Holly lied by omission. Not a good way to start a relationship, no matter how many people are involved. In fact, in this culture, unusual relationships require more honesty and taking even better care of each other’s feelings, because they have to constantly handle additional stresses from a judgmental society.

Sure, they’re pleasant, affectionate women and the sex is great, but you don’t have a baby on purpose without telling the guy up front that’s what you want. 🤬

So I am very sad for Marc. 😩

Sorry, I usually love your stories. Not this time.

To be honest I got bored after the second page.