Crushing on an eGirl

3:27am.

It was 3:27am and I hadn't slept a wink. I'd lain there, in vain, for so long that my face and pillow had merged into an amorphous blob, but the sweet release into nothing wouldn't come.

Was it stress? Unlikely; what did I have to be stressed about? My tuition was taken care of by a generous scholarship, and coursework came easily to me. Could it be boredom? Maybe. I'd been scrolling on reddit so long that my thumb was cramping. I know you shouldn't lay in bed on your phone, but I couldn't help it. Scrolling or not scrolling, the result would be the same.

Frustrated beyond belief, I gave up. Throwing my phone to the other end of my dorm bed, I pawed at my laptop and resolved to find something less menial to distract me while I waited for dawn. A dozen icons resolved themselves as my desktop came up. Not in the mood to play anything, I was loathe to even consider looking at coursework, and wasn't overly tempted by the thought of listening to music.

The only option left to me, as you might suspect was always going to be the case, was to jerk off.

And now, dear reader, the private negotiation of how to best serve my intimate whim. There was the tried and true method of logging into TubeStars and cherry picking from my saved favorites, which ran the risk of offering almost too much choice sometimes. I could gamble with the roulette of hitting the 'Random Video' button; a risky play, but occasionally worth the chance to stumble upon something new. There was also the option to see if any of the girls I followed on JustAdmirers had posted anything new since earlier in the day. My folks would be so mad if they knew how much of my full-ride scholarship funding was spent on KaylaB's nudes. I'm sure I'd paid at least a month of her rent by now; I followed a half dozen other girls on a rotating basis, but Kayla was my favorite by far. Just thinking about the things she did with that pink dildo I'd sent off her wish list last month had my cock twitching eagerly. My mind was made up.

I don't know what it was about her, honestly. She wasn't popular, with only around 60 fans paying a modest $5 or $10 a month to see her stuff, but I felt strongly that she was criminally underrated. Sure, she didn't show her face, but the internet is a weird place to be a woman, so I couldn't hold it against her. She was, in a word, sensational. Her profile said she was 19, which meant we were the same age, and that she was studying Journalism in school; as an American Lit major myself, knowing that she could probably write competently certainly added to the appeal. I don't have to tell you, surely, that her body was just remarkable too; so naturally curvy and squeezable, I adored the way she jiggled just so when she bounced up and down on her toys. The other guys that lived on my floor were constantly competing for the attention of the slim, fit, cheerleader types on campus, but not me. I liked big hips, strong thighs, the kind of boobs you could take a nap between, and just a little bit of tummy. Kayla had all that, and more. She was perfect.

I clicked 'login' and groped around in the dark for something I'd eventually catch my latest offering to Kayla with. A pair of boxer shorts would do for now. A little orange notification in the top right of my screen told me that there were new posts by at least one of the girls I followed; I scanned the list that folded out. A new vid from AngelSkyy that I'd check out later, another timeline post from MsRiskey to apologize for another week of not posting (I needed to cancel that one), and the prize I'd come here in search of: KaylaB has made a new post!

I kicked the sheet off furiously while waiting for her page to load, freeing my cock to spring to life in impatient eagerness at what was sure to be another stunning peek into the life of the most gorgeous woman on earth. My heart sank just a little bit when it opened, which had nothing to do with the cute picture of her seated at her desk studying, one boob freed from her tank top, and a pouty curl to the lips that she rarely showed. The accompanying message read:

"Hey guys! First of all, you know that I love you all to bits! I get so many sweet messages from you guys all the time and, even though there's not many of you, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have so much positivity in my life from you all! So thank you for that! As you all know, I'm a full time student, and that comes with certain limitations to how much I can do here; I know I'd probably make this more worth people's time if I showed my face, but it's just not an option for me :(((. I've tried promoting my stuff a little bit to get more interest going here, but tuition is coming due soon and I'm gonna have to get a real job to pay for it :(((( I'll still stick around as best I can here, but won't be able to commit as much time to videos and will probably be slow to respond for a little bit while I focus on getting things settled. DON'T WORRY THOUGH you little monsters, I'm not going anywhere for now. I love you i love you i love you MWAH".

For now. She said she wasn't going anywhere for now. She might as well be gone already. I was devastated. I idly cruised away from her page and tried to get myself off to someone else's video I'd saved earlier, but the ridiculous studio quality bullshit and fake moans of the starlet as some meathead rubbed his cock between her tits was just annoying. I gave up on cumming and finally fell into a fitful sleep, filled with nightmares in which I was forced to show all of my cum soaked underwear to my high school gym class.

I awoke grumpily, and I don't mind admitting it; you might think I'm lame, or sad, or pathetic for letting something like this get to me, but it doesn't matter. I did care about her.

When I found her last year, my first at university, I was literally too awkward to talk to women. Seriously. Even posting messages to class portals for my courses was hard because I knew cute girls in my year might read them and think I was stupid. Not Kayla. Every message I ever sent her was warm and amiable, and actually felt genuine. I know that's part of her making sure I stay subscribed, but it was good practice for me, and had given me tons of confidence that I'd never developed on my own. When my dad took off with his sidepiece last year, and I was struggling with watching him be a better dad to the children of a women only 5 years older than me, Kayla played 23 games of Connect 4 with me in a row, just to keep me company. Hell, earlier this semester I had almost asked a girl from my Composition class out, all because of the consistently positive, carefree approach to life that my favorite fan site girl modelled on a daily basis. I didn't follow through with it, but that's not the point.

Knowing I needed to be in lecture in a half hour, I slunk out of bed. I couldn't let this get me down. She was her own person and needed to do right for herself. How would it be if, hypothetically, she found out how upset I was about her need to pay rent. It sounded pathetic in my head. She worked hard, wanted to make something of herself, put positivity out into the world every single day, and I was here like an absolute fucking bum, upset that I might not see her tits again. Even I thought I was lame. I could do better. I would do better. For her.

It struck me, halfway through Post War American Lit. The most brilliant plan I'd ever had. While I was busy chewing the end of my pen and ignoring the professor's half-baked points on Raymond Carver and what it meant to hop swimming pools in the 1950s, the sight of a girl absentmindedly rubbing some lotion on her chapped hands two rows down solved all the problems I'd brought to school with me. I had to get home.

I rushed off the bus and practically ran to my room, not even bothering with an excuse to get out of beer pong with my roommates. They could lose to the 3rd floor guys just fine without me.

I slapped my laptop down on the little desk in my rented room and typed the password to my JustAdmirers account wrong 4 times, cursing profusely at the lost time. Didn't my fingers know that this was an emergency? Finally in, I opened the DMs.

- Hey! Are you there?

I waited. Two minutes. Three. Five. I took off my shoes and jacket while I waited, and generally fidgeted. 8 minutes, it was an effort not to double message. Dave knocked on my door to ask if I'd be coming up later or if they should wait anymore. Resisting the urge to tell him to fuck off entirely, I hollered that I'd be up later. 9 minutes.

- KaylaB is typing...

I thought I'd vomit. We chatted nearly weekly, but the stakes were high today.

- hey goofball! I'm here!!

I hadn't thought this far ahead. I mean, I had, but not really thought about it.

- I saw the post last night, bummer about that huh?

- Yeahhhhh haha but a girl's gotta eat lol

- That's the truth lol. Wish I could help :((( Gonna miss having you as active

- You're sweet :(( I mean, it might not take that much out of me, i just need to pull in a liiiiiittle bit more.

Time to shoot my shot.

- and you can't do that here? surely there's gotta be something more

- wdym

- could do ratings? like cock rating? idk just an idea lol

- yeah but I don't think I could fake the enthusiasm to look at all that dick lmaoooo half the dudes that follow me are older than my dad

- oh uhhhh yeah maybe not that then haha premium snap or something?

- I thought of that, but it's against the site terms of service :s

- damn uhhh haha really thought I was on to something

- you're a babe for trying lmao [open attachment]

I grinned like a devil as I opened the live photo she'd sent; lips blowing a kiss from up close with her ample cleavage generously displayed.

- I hope you know how hot that is!

- I obviously do, tiger ;) haha

- just one more idea...

-??? tell me

- would you do a custom, just for me? I know its not your thing and I wouldn't ask for anything that would eat up any time at all

- i don't knowwww what did you have in mind??

I explained what I was after, trying for all the world not to let her suspect that I had developed an unhealthy obsession with seeing this through over the course of the day. I laid out the details of what I'd like, including ample complements for the features that I was so eager to have her show off. In the end, she warmed to the idea.

- that's all? I mean, i thought you wanted something wild like a jar of my pee or something hahaha

- oh come on lollll give me a little credit. what do you think??

- I don't know how much to ask for this tbh I hate talking about prices lol feels weird

- 200 bits??

- OH FUCK OFF lol that's way too much!

- wouldn't be much of a way to keep you on here if it wasn't worth your time. It's only a hundred bucks total lol and I'd rather use them on you than elsewhere

- goof haha I won't argue lol. I just need to get the stuff I guess but I can probably film tonight and send it over for you to wake up to <3

- that sounds great! I'm going out with my roommates tonight so I won't see it till tomorrow anyway!

That was a lie; I'd F5 obsessively until the sun came up as soon as I got back from the party.

- any brand preference? lol

- lmao doesn't matter. Jergins? lol that's a brand, right??

Of course it's a brand, I went through a gallon every semester.

- lol works for me, I think my roommate has some haha I don't think she'll miss it

- you're the best lol

- get to your party goofball, I have a video to make

As it was St. Patrick's day weekend, the party was a rager. University staff working in the building were powerless to halt the revelry's progress as students tore up and down each floor of the residence block, spilling out onto the street, running wild across the campus and eventually circling back around to spill drinks through the hallowed halls of the dormitories all over again. It was wild to think that, just 6 short months ago, there wasn't even a chance I'd be caught out at this kind of thing. I wasn't much of a drinker, and steered clear of the more American Pie scenery, but I still enjoyed walking in and out of the open apartments in the building with my roommates to laugh at them routinely sucking at flip cup and choking their keg stands.

At about 10:30, we'd found ourselves on a girls' floor; I watched in amusement as Brian tried desperately to line up his ping pong ball with the 2,4, or 8 cups that danced in his inebriated vision, erupting in cheers with the onlookers as his entire body froze, delicately clutched ball ready to throw, and keeled over sideways, passed out on the floor.

"He's out cold!" Dave shouted at me from the side of the table, "you gotta take his shot!"

I opened my mouth to protest, knowing I'd make it easily, but felt my phone buzz in my pocket. The others were distracted pulling Brian away from the table, chasing some women off their own shitty futon to flop him onto; I took advantage of the opportunity to check my phone.

** KaylaB sent you a message **

I clutched the device to my chest, eyes darting around the room furtively to see if anyone might be looking over my shoulder. Back to the fridge in the kitchen area, I was safe from prying eyes while the other partiers were busy watching Brian try in vain to rally himself upright. I clicked the notification, and the app opened itself directly to my DMs.

- I really hope you like this haha I had a lot of fun making it for you <3

- [open attachment]

I made a last cursory check of the room; Brian was on the floor again but there was no way I'd be able to sneak out from here, especially if I was called upon to play his table for him again. It was worth the risk, even just for a peek. I clicked the attachment.

She kneeled on a towel in her dorm room a few feet from the camera, her phone presumably against a wall or something. The lighting wasn't great, but I could see what I cared about; her body looked scrumptious in a red bikini that had featured prominently in a photoset she put out last month, tied straps stretched over both hips where they tied tightly in two bows, and the knotted bow holding the strained cups of her top together looked fit to burst if she sneezed too suddenly. Her hair was down, falling loose in soft brown waves that she'd been growing out for a few months now. Her hands ran up her thighs, slowly teasing me and I rued the setting for making it impossible to hear what she was saying; she'd judged the distance well enough to hide the top half of her face, but I could see her lips moving enough to recognize my own name as she continued to run her hands playfully over her hips and ass. She rocked side to side gently, turning this way and that in an adorable little half dance; being as curvy as she was, the little stretch marks that banded across her hips were one of my favorite things about her. Her dangling belly button ring swayed a hypnotic rhythm as she continued to explore herself just for me, guiding her touch up her torso to cup under her heavy, heavenly tits, shaking them enticingly.

God she was so hot, I was dying to get out of here to hear what she was saying. I waved absently to the calls to come take my shot, knowing I could risk a few more seconds. I was getting far too hot to move anyway. I watched, mouth practically watering, as she bit playfully at her lower lip, still cupping her chest, squeezing herself softly, then mouthing what was surely "And now for you..."

She reached off to the side of the camera, pulling the white bottle with the red pump into view. My cock twitched in my jeans, knowing what was to come next. I looked on in rapture as she slowly squirted 2, 3, 4 generous pumps of the thick white cream over the top of her cleavage, delighting in the way several globs of it settled right between her breasts. Her pillowy lips made a quick "O" shape as the temperature of the lotion clearly shocked her, and she laughed a moment before setting the bottle down to rub both hands over her chest.

"For fuck's sake man, get over here and take your fucking shot, your mom can wait," Dave yelled. I gave him the finger while my eyes remained glued to my tiny screen, watching her plunge her hand between the cups of her bikini top.

"No way man! Get over here or I'll come get you myself!"

The hand not busy smearing the fragrant white lotion all over her chest reached up and took hold of the dangling end of the knotted tie that secured the top in place. She began to pull.

"I told you I'd come get you..." Dave said, entirely too close for comfort; tired of waiting, he'd come over to fetch me. I hardly had time to shove the phone in my pocket before I was coerced into place to round out the now-comatose Brian's match. Three balls appeared before me, in opposition to the three cups that remained at the other end of the table. The crowd hushed, and my opponent smiled smugly at me from across the table. Cursing my dumb ass roommates, I tried to focus. Another second and I'd have gotten a glimpse of her glorious, big, brown nipples. Focus. Breathe. I'd start again when I got back. Breathe.

I squared up, arm cocked, blinking myself back to sobriety and reality, pushing her creamy, soft tits as far from my mind as I could. A deft toss, a quiet splash, a triumphant roar from the 2nd floor crowd, and I'd made my first. The crowd settled, intent now on seeing this through; I needed to make all three in a row to avoid giving my opponent the chance to drain his last remaining to seal the deal. Again, I stepped up, drew back, and my ball found its mark, to the further delight of the crowd. I was high on the thrill of it. I'd need one more.

Kayla's near-naked body and the promise of an opportunity to beat my cock into oblivion as soon as this was over fought the promise of eternal glory that I was sure to find if I was successful here. After all, what was the joy of seeing the most beautiful girl in the world, slick with shiny lube, whispering your name in sultry tones from lips that you'd kill to kiss next to the shear immortality of winning a beer pong match in your second year dormitory surrounded by people too drunk to remember your name?

Focus.

Breathe.

Become the ball.

Become the beer.

I crooked my elbow. Pinky out. I, and a few dozen strangers, held our breath as one. I drew back.

A smell, unmistakable in it's clean and simple notes wafted under my nose, finding a way to shatter my focus, barreling down the walls of concentration and piercing straight to the heart of my fixation. Cherry, and almond, suspended in tea tree oil. Jergen's original; I knew it anywhere.

I fucked the shot, watching in slow motion as the yellow ball careened away into the dark, melting in shame at the roars of disappointment, shocked into immobility by my failure. Brian shot upright and gagged a grotesque threat of impending vomit. The room resolved itself back to clarity, time resumed its inexorable crawl, and I stood alone, replete in my shame.

"Get him to the fucking bathroom, come on, get the fuck out of the way!" came the cry, as several people tried to carry the drunk martyr to the bathroom before he exploded.

I couldn't have cared less. The wafting smell lingered in my nostrils, and I snapped my head back and forth, desperate to find it's source. There was no chance it was a coincidence. I refused to believe it. Partygoers pushed, shoved, and crawled over each other in the small apartment to avoid the emergency processional pushing their way to the bathroom, one person on each of my roommate's limp limbs.

"Oh my god open the fucking door," one girl screamed in the commotion, "I'm not having this guy puke on my carpet". Brian's yawping yelps of protest rose above the din. The resident woman kicked the occupant, who'd been going through the medicine cabinet anyway, out of the way.