Crying Uncle

She wasn't surprised everything fit because she really was very close to her Aunt Kelli's size. The only surprise were the shoes and they were just the slightest bit too big by half a size. She remedied the problem by wearing a second pair of pantyhose and that was that.

She'd stared at all of the jewelry for a very long time before choosing the same things her Aunt Kelli had on in the photograph. She wore a chunky sliver necklace and a pair of matching earrings and as she put them on she felt the weight of all the years of guilt pressing down on her. She could hear her mother's voice telling her, "Harlots adorn themselves like this!" And yet, this is exactly what her Aunt Kelli, who had also been a good Catholic girl, had worn in public so it couldn't be all that bad, could it? She put them on and when she looked in the large mirror by the armoire, she couldn't believe who...or what...was staring back at her. The image took her breath away. She didn't see skinny, plain Olivia. See saw a very pretty young woman and it mesmerized her.

She stood there for a very long time just staring when a forbidden thought hit her. "What would I look like if I put on just a little bit of makeup?" Makeup was even more taboo than jewelry and she'd never been allowed to wear even the slightest amount. She looked around and found a tube on unopened mascara still in the package. She opened it and brushed some on. Her thin lashes instantly became full and beautiful. She then put on just a touch of gray eye shadow which turned her pretty eyes into something...sultry. It made her feel a way she'd never felt before. She wasn't sure enough of herself to put on any additional makeup and the truth was, she didn't need any more. Just bringing out her eyes was...magical.

She'd finally got up the nerve to leave the closet. She walked around to the full-length mirror on the wall and continued to look at herself. She'd gotten so lost in this newfound set of feelings she didn't even hear him come in. When he spoke, he not only startled her, he scared her. She shrieked and ran back into the closet nearly tripping in the high heels she'd never worn before.

"Olivia? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just me. Please don't be afraid." He took several steps away from the closet area and said, "Won't you please come out?"

"No," she whispered.

"It's all right, sweetheart. I already saw you when I came in so I know how pretty you look. Again, I'm very sorry for sneaking up on you like that. It wasn't intentional, I assure you. I know you're shy, but you looked very nice. I'll leave the room if you like."

He stood there for perhaps another minute when she stood in the threshold of the door and stopped.

"Oh, my goodness! Olivia, you look amazing! I can't believe the difference. Let me get a good look at you."

His niece didn't move nor did she look up. He slowly walked toward her then stopped. He reached out his hand and said, "Don't be afraid, okay? I will never hurt you or criticize you. That's over, Olivia. I want you to learn to trust me. I'm your uncle. We're family and family members love one another."

She tentatively offered him a hand which he took ever-so gently and led her back to the mirror. He stood behind her and went to put his hands on her shoulders then remembered her reaction the first time he'd tried to touch her. He stopped and asked her, "Is this okay?" She nodded and he gently placed them on her shoulders then told her, "You see? You really are beautiful!"

Olivia looked up and again saw herself but no matter how different or how...pretty...she might look, the only thing she could see was her uncle standing behind her. The only thing she could feel were his hands on her shoulders. She knew she should feel guilt and shame, but the only thing see felt was something new; something she'd never before experienced. Everything she'd ever been taught told her it was evil, but everything she'd learned since moving here told her it was okay. It was...warm and...pleasant and she liked it very much.

"Are you hungry, Olivia?" he asked her.

"I guess," she said softly. "Maybe a little bit."

"Let me go change my shirt and we'll get ready to go, okay?" He squeezed her shoulders gently then bent down and kissed her on the top of her head and told her, "You really do look beautiful, Olivia. And you know what else? I love that you wore the very same thing your Aunt Kelli wore in my favorite picture of her. Thank you for doing that, sweetheart."

He let go and went to change his shirt as Olivia stood there still staring at herself. That's when she realized that was the first time in her life she'd ever been kissed my any man. Yes, it was her uncle and okay, it was on the top of her head, but it was a kiss...wasn't it? As confusing as that question was, the way it made her feel was even more perplexing. It stirred this kind of warmth in a place she rarely thought of, but like the feeling she'd had just minutes before, this one too, was very pleasant.

They hadn't been at the restaurant five minutes when Olivia told her uncle, "I want to go home."

"Why, honey? We just got here. What's wrong?"

Olivia had been looking furtively around the room but was now staring into her lap. "Everyone is staring at me," she said very quietly.

"No, they're not staring, Olivia. They're just looking. They're telling you you're a very pretty girl." He could tell she was distraught so he moved closer and put his arm around her shoulder. She flinched but only slightly this time. "Sweetie? I didn't mean to scare you. And Lord knows I don't mean to sound like I'm picking on your mother, but I know she didn't give you the kind of love and affection we all need. All of us need to be touched and held and loved so if I put my hand on your shoulder it's out of love for you. So...do you mind? Is that okay? Do you trust me, Olivia?"

"Yes," she said weakly. He gently put his hand back on her shoulder and she not only didn't recoil this time, she found it...nice.

"Please believe me when I tell you everyone in this room thinks you're beautiful. They're not staring to be mean or because you look...funny. They're just admiring a very nice-looking young woman. That's all. Look, no one's staring."

Olivia raised her eyes but not her head as she look scanned the room from side to side.

"See? No one is even looking now. People know it isn't polite to stare, but it's impossible not to notice a beautiful creature like you. So is it okay if we stay?"

Olivia looked around one more time then quickly looked down. "That boy, the one in the blue shirt. He's staring at me...and he's laughing."

Lucas looked up and saw the boy was about her age. He gave him 'the eye' and the boy minded his own business. "He just thinks you're cute, Olivia. He can't help it. Boys like to look at pretty girls. Remember what you saw in the mirror at home? Well, that's what he's seeing. He's not staring, honey, he's letting you know he's interested in you. And he wasn't laughing, he was smiling at you to get your attention. It isn't wrong or bad or anything like that. It's just the way human nature is. So can we stay? I'm really hungry."

"I guess so," she mumbled.

Olivia barely looked up as she picked at her food throughout the meal. Lucas knew she wouldn't engage him in conversation, but he hoped to try and break her out of her shell one step at a time. "I know I told you you look very nice already but I didn't tell you you have a very pretty smile. Did you know that?"

"Not really," she replied.

"Well you do. And you know what? It makes me very happy when you smile."

"It does?" she asked without looking at him.

"Yes, it does. Would you smile for me? Please?" Olivia just pushed the food around her plate. "Just once? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

Olivia actually smiled and almost laughed at his pleading. She raised her hand to cover her mouth when Lucas said, "Don't cover your beautiful smile, Olivia. It's too pretty to hide. I did see you smile, by the way."

That made her smile again. "So would it be possible to get you to actually smile at me? Am I really so unattractive that you don't even want to look at me?"

Lucas could tell what he said had hurt her. She hadn't understood he was only teasing. He put his arm around her again and said, "Sweetie, I was only joking."

"It's not funny," she said. "You're...handsome."

He ran his hand up and down her back and said, "That may the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you, sweetheart."

"You're welcome," she nearly whispered. "It's true."

"Well, in that case can I maybe get just one smile from my pretty niece tonight?"

She turned toward him and actually looked into his eyes for the briefest of moments. She smiled a genuine smile at him but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. As her smile faded her eyes turned away from him again and went back to the food on her plate. It was hard enough for her to look right at him but to also smile? It was just too much. One step at a time really was the key.

"Thank you, Olivia. Between your sweet words and your pretty smile, you just made my day. I really do like it when you smile at me and say nice things. When two people care for one another, that's what they do."

"Oh, okay," she said.

When they returned home Olivia said, "I should put back Aunt Kelli's things now."

Lucas put his hands on her shoulders and he was pleased to see she didn't flinch at all. "No, no. You don't have to do that, sweetheart. You can keep them. In fact, you can keep or wear anything you like until you let me buy you some things of your own. So you don't have to put anything back and you can take anything from her closet any time you like, okay?"

"Okay," she said. He saw her trying to smile again.

"Can you do me one more very big favor tonight, honey?"

"I guess," she said.

He picked up his iPhone and said, "Will you let me take just one picture of you? Smiling, of course."

Olivia put her hands over her face and said, "Oh, my goodness. I...I don't know."

"Just one. I promise. I just want to you remember how pretty you looked for me tonight."

"Okay," she said softly. She struggled to look up but finally managed to look at the camera when her uncle said 'cheese' in such a goofy way it made her laugh. He hit the button three times very quickly and saw that one of them was perfect.

"Look!" he said as he turned the camera around and showed her. "See? Was I right or what? You really are a pretty girl!"

"Thank you," she said bashfully.

"Can I get a hug before you go to bed?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

Olivia looked down. Her hands were clasped in front of her and she didn't move. Lucas held out his arm and moved closer to her. "Just one hug?"

Olivia slowly raised her tiny arms and put them loosely around his neck. He very gently pulled her closer and gave her a warm hug. "Isn't that nice?" he said. "Touching is so important and it makes us feel good. It's what people call a 'win-win.'"

She tightened her grasp just the slightest bit and said quietly, "It is nice. Thank you for dinner, Uncle Lucas."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. And thank you...for smiling...and for such a nice hug. You can give me one of these anytime, okay?"

Olivia nodded then released him and went to her own room. After she undressed and changed into her old cotton gown, she couldn't sleep. She was unable to stop thinking about how she'd felt when her uncle first touched her shoulder or kissed the top of her head. It was the same thing she felt when he'd hugged her only that feeling was even stronger. It made her happy to know that touching was something people who love one another do. Her mother had almost never touched her and she'd been unable to show affection of any kind. As she lay there, she gave thanks for being brought to her Uncle Luke's house where someone finally loved her.

On Monday morning, Olivia knew she had to get ready to go back to school and she also knew she wanted to wear something of Aunt Kelli's. She went to her uncle's bedroom and saw that the door was open. She could hear water running in the shower so she was sure she could find something before he got out.

The problem for her was that she liked everything in the closet. It was impossible to make a decision herself so she decided to come back and ask her Uncle Luke for advice. She'd gotten so caught up in 'analysis paralysis' she didn't hear the water shut off. As she stepped out of the closet she nearly ran into her uncle who was toweling himself off. Olivia shrieked surprising Lucas to the point where he dropped the towel on the floor between them. Olivia followed its descent to the floor and as she watched, her eyes saw something they had never before seen. She saw...it...and when she did, she shrieked again and threw her hands over her face. Her eyes were wide open with hysterical fear as she looked into her uncle's face then turned and ran out.

Olivia had seen an artist's sketch of a man's penis in her abstinence class the year before in Catholic school ,but she'd never actually seen one in real life. She was utterly mortified and ashamed and was sitting on her bed with her head between her knees when Uncle Luke knocked on the door. "Olivia? May I come in, please?" She didn't answer so he said, "I'm dressed, honey, so it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong and you'll be late for school if you don't get dressed yourself. So may I please come in?"

Still no answer. He peeked inside and saw her hunched over. "Olivia? Sweetheart? Hey, it's okay. Really. I just didn't know you were in there. It's not your fault, okay?" He sat next to her on the bed and went to put his hand on her shoulder when he saw her pull away. "Please don't be afraid of me, Olivia. I will never, ever hurt you. I'm your uncle. I love you and I need you to let me show you that."

He gently set his hand on her shoulder and leaned toward her a little and said, "I know that was probably very...uncomfortable...for you and I understand. But again, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident." Olivia didn't speak.

"You need to get dressed for school. Did you want me to help you choose something?"

Olivia nodded. "Okay, well...why don't you come with me and we'll go look together. Would that be okay?"

She nodded again so he stood up and held out his hand for her to take. She started to reach out for it then pulled back. She reached out a second time, hesitated, then took it. She never looked at him but she let him lead her back to his bedroom where they went to work trying to find something appropriate for a high school senior to wear.

"So what do the other girls wear? Maybe that will help us get started. I think we can rule out all of these beautiful dresses, the silk blouses, and the really short skirts. Do girls still wear jeans? It's cold here so they have to, right? I mean, it's only about 45-50 degrees during day so how about a pair of her jeans?"

"Okay," she said.

Her uncle found a pair and handed them to her. "And for a top?"

"I don't really know," she said oh-so quietly.

"How about...this." He showed her a white blouse with a mint-green colored sweater to wear over it. "Is this okay?" he asked holding them up against each other in front of her.

"I guess," she said.

"And...maybe a nice necklace with some matching earrings? I think gold would go best with your pretty blonde hair. What do you think?"

"That's fine," she told him.

They found a pair of flat shoes and a pair of thick socks to till the extra space and ten minutes later she was ready. "Wow! Look at you!" he told her. "You know what else you need, sweetie?"

She shook her head. "Just a touch of mascara and maybe a little eye shadow like you wore this weekend. Only find a shade to match your sweater which goes very nicely with your hazel eyes, by the way."

He dropped her off on her way to work and as she walked into the cafeteria to wait for the bell, the same two snobs were sitting with their boyfriends and were again talking about her. "I wonder if Freakzilla will back in school today. I heard her mom croaked which is why we haven't had to look at her for a week. You know, if there really was a God, he would have been merciful and done us all a favor and gotten rid of the freak show at the same time."

Her girlfriend laughed as her boyfriend craned his neck and said, "Damn! Who is that?"

His buddy looked where he was looking and said, "Holy shit, dude! That girl is smokin'!"

The girl who'd called her Freakzilla was staring as the guys gawked. "Oh...my...God. Is that...?"

Her friend said, "It is. It's Freakzilla. What the hell happened to her?"

Olivia felt like she was back in the restaurant. Everyone was staring at her and they were smiling and laughing. She wanted to turn and run but she remembered the words her Uncle Lucas said. They weren't staring, they were just looking because she was pretty. But they were staring. She knew she was causing a scene just like the pretty girls at her last school did whenever they walked into a room. She couldn't look back at them but she did overcome the urge to run. She found a place where no one was sitting and sat her books down before taking a seat.

She hadn't been there for even a minute before someone walked over and said, "Hi. I don't know if you remember me but I saw you at the restaurant this weekend." She didn't look up or speak. "You know, you were with your dad and he gave me kind of a look because I was checking you out." More silence. "Do you mind if I sit down?" No response. "My name's Logan. What's yours?" he asked as he sat next to her.

Without looking up she said too quietly to be heard, "Olivia."

"Olive? That's a cool name. Like in Popeye?"

"I don't understand," she said.

"Popeye. Olive Oil. I eats my spinach. All that."

"It's Olivia," she said slightly louder.

The bell rang and everyone made for the exit doors. Logan said, "Hey, I'd like to talk to you some more, Olivia," he said. "Would that be cool?"

"I don't know," she said as she picked up her books.

She turned and started walking when Logan fell in step beside her. "You're really hot. I'd just like to get to know you better. Maybe we could like hang out sometime."

"I don't think so," she said. She was at the door to her first classroom when she remembered she was supposed to smile more. She turned toward Logan and smiled and said, "It was nice meeting you, Logan," then disappeared inside.

That evening as they were having dinner, Lucas asked her how her first day back at school was. "Fine," she said.

"Fine? I know you're not much of a talker, Olivia, but it would be nice if you could try and tell me a little bit more. Did you get any compliments on your new look?"

"Yes," she told him.

He put down his fork and said, "Sweetheart? One-word answers aren't very polite. Do you not want to talk to me or something?"

"Sorry," she said. "I saw that boy again."

"What boy?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"The one from the restaurant who was staring...I mean...looking at me."

"Really? Did he say anything to you? Did he upset you?"

"Oh, no. He said I was...pretty." She paused for a while then said, "Well, he said I was 'smokin'' which I think means pretty."

She looked up at her Uncle Lucas and he looked different. He looked...mad. "Did I do something wrong?" she said softly.

Lucas came to himself and said, "Oh, no. Of course not. I'm just...happy for you. That's all. I knew boys would take an interest in you. Why wouldn't they? You're so beautiful."

"Is that okay? The boys...taking an interest in me?"

He forced himself to smile and said, "Well, sure it is. I guess I was just hoping to have you all to myself for a little while. I mean, we really haven't had a chance to get to know one another and now you'll be going out on dates with boys and..."