D.I.A.N.N.E. Ch. 03

I had the power to pause, rewind and fast-forward on command, that much I knew from immediate testing, even before the opening credits were done. I tried many other things, like moving Indy around or making him say what I wanted, but it was like trying to uproot a telephone pole with my bare hands.

A particularly amusing idea entered my brain during Indy's lecture on Turkdean Barrow. Pausing the movie, I first tried making small alterations to the scene. To my delight, I was able to influence things to some degree. First, I changed around some of the lettering on the blackboard, though it changed itself back once I stopped concentrating on it. Second, I made the glasses disappear off Indy's face and reappear on the squat oriental statue on his desk. Deviously, my third idea was to remove the clothing of the girl with "I Love You" written on her eyelids. I'd always wondered what she looked like underneath that heavy sweater.

To my dismay, aside from a few flickers, I was unable to achieve this. *Dianne?* I called out mentally. *Why do I have such limited control?* I thought I might know the answer already. *I had way more control than this when I first played Final Fantasy.*

*You must first complete the film in its entirety, Jake,* she told him. *Then you will have more influence over the virtual environment. The data takes time to imprint to your unconscious. Films and television are different from games. They are not designed to be an interactive experience.*

*Okay,* I said begrudgingly. *I'll do the work before I have fun.* Unpausing the scene, I relaxed and tried to enjoy myself. It wasn't a bad experience by any stretch; watching one of my favourite films from inside the star. Overall, I had fun, and by the time the credits were rolling, I was in a pretty good mood.

After the movie, I found myself back in the MAP. The big screen flickered to life, with its myriad data on display. As I watched, the update notification appeared again in the top right, and then my primary stats changed again. I gained an extra point each in Physical, Mental and Social, bringing my totals to 20, 26 and 15 respectively. I noticed several sub stats adjusting accordingly, the green digits flicking to a higher number.

Interestingly, a 'Firearms' subheading appeared. That hadn't been there before, nor had the several entries beneath it, which were the names of a few different categories of guns atop specific guns, presumably which were used in the film.

It read: Firearms > Handguns > Revolvers > Smith & Wesson M1917 .45

Directly underneath the M1917 was another gun, called a Smith & Wesson Mk II Hand Ejector.

In fact, I could see now that the arrangement of the whole tree had shifted around somewhat to make room for these new additions. There was still plenty of space on the screen for more, too. Where I would need skills with guns was unknown to me, at this point. I didn't plan on owning any real guns anytime soon.

*The time is ten-thirty p.m.* Dianne chimed in her feminine monotone, obeying my earlier request.

"Thanks," I said. "I'd better get ready for Debbie." With a suddenly fluttering stomach, I left the MAP and returned to the real world. I needn't have gotten nervous, though, for upon checking my phone I saw a text from Debbie saying she couldn't make it. I didn't bother replying. It was the outcome I had more or less expected.

"What's the point of making plans with me?" I asked nobody in particular, but the question was meant for her. "If you're just going to cancel them?" Frustrated, I got up and grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was my second last one. I would need to hit the shop tomorrow. Additionally, I was now going to go hungry as Debbie was not bringing my pizza.

Wondering why I got my hopes up in the first place, I sat back in my chair and punched in the numbers for the pizza joint. Before I could finish the number, however, a knock sounded at the door. Had she changed her mind? I was out of my chair in a flash and into my room to throw on a shirt and a pair of shorts before hurrying back to the door. I snatched it open to see George the pizza kid there, instead of Debbie. My spirits were lifted only slightly by the oven bag balanced on his arm.

"Hey, dude!" The pimply kid said with a friendly smile. "Brought you some sustenance!"

"Thanks," I said, trying not to sound annoyed. It wasn't his fault Debbie had flaked. "But I didn't order any."

"Ah, yeah, that's right!" George said as if suddenly remembering something important. "These are from Debbie, man. She said to say she's sorry she couldn't make it."

I wanted to tell him to take the pizzas and toss them over the railing behind him, but my stomach had other ideas. I was really fucking hungry. "Oh, okay. Thanks for bringing them, George."

George ripped the bag open and pulled out the two boxes. "So," he began slowly, as if being careful with his words. "Are you guys, like, dating or something?" He tried to sound casual about it, but I could tell right away why he was asking. I couldn't blame him. Debbie was hot, and nice to talk to.

"Nah," I replied as I pushed open the screen door and took the pizzas. "Just friends. She's all yours, mate." I finished with a wink. George immediately began to protest that he wasn't interested in her, he was just curious, but I politely thanked him again and closed the door, not really caring whether he liked her or not. All I knew was; I would be happy never seeing Debbie again. She was just another girl in a long line of girls who didn't have time for me.

I ate in silence, trying not to let myself enjoy the pizza too much, but it was really good. My mind churned over different things as I chewed, from Raiders, to the status screen in the MAP, to Final Fantasy Seven, to pretty much everything that had happened in the last three days. The only thing I didn't think about was Debbie.

My phone beeped at one point when I was halfway through the second pizza. The first one had been pepperoni, while this one was good old ham and pineapple. I picked it up long enough to read the message from Debbie: *Hey. Sorry again for tonight. Are you enjoying the pizza?*

I put the phone down without replying. Once the meal was done, I, stashed the empty boxes in the kitchen and washed up in the bathroom before resuming my seat. I felt full, but not to bursting. I must have just put five thousand calories in my system, yet I merely felt satisfied, as if I'd just sat down to an ordinary steak and chips. Well, if what Dianne said was true about my body changing, it made sense that the process needed lots of energy.

Wanting to do something to take my mind off girls -- in the real world, at least -- I leaned forward and pulled open the games drawer beneath the TV. I felt like playing something different, tonight, something a little more dynamic than an RPG. With a somewhat bitter feeling, I picked Tekken 3 out. I was meant to be playing this with Debbie, right now, but here I was, on my own as usual.

Stubbornly, I kept it out and pushed the drawer closed. "Dianne, I'd like to change discs, please." Her top panel immediately lifted, and the Raiders disc slid upward like a slice of bread coming out of a toaster, allowing me to grab it and replace it with Tekken.

Once Dianne had devoured the new disc, her front panel opened to reveal the headband. *The new title is ready, Jake,* her voice said in my head as soon as I had the band fitted. *Caution should be exercised, however, as this is your first attempt at a combat game.*

"Duly noted," I replied, not really listening. I was thinking about what sort of fun activities might eventuate with some of the game's female roster. Nina, Ling, Anna, Julia... My vision went black as the PlayStation music chimed. Rather than entering the game right away, though, I was back in the MAP.

This time, a second screen appeared to the left of my status screen. It was the same size; about two metres square. This one had a major heading simply reading: TITLES. Beneath it were two sub-categories: GAMES and FILM/TELEVISION.

Beneath those two headings was Final Fantasy VII and Raiders of the Lost Ark, respectively. Final Fantasy had a percentage reading beside it of twenty-five percent, while Raiders read fifty percent. Curious, I tapped the screen over FFVII and the display changed to another screen titled: COMPLETION CRITERIA.

Beneath this was a list of what looked like achievements that must be completed in order to reach one hundred percent. *I see you have found the criteria record,* Dianne said.

"Yeah," I replied as I scanned the long list. "Seems like there's plenty of work on here." Objectives ranged from defeating a certain number of enemies, to completing different stages of the game, to completing the final battle, with dozens more in between. "This could take months!"

*There is no requirement to complete anything to one hundred percent, Jake.* Dianne assured me. *How you choose to test the system is your discretion. I will simply make suggestions along the way to ease the process, if necessary.* Well, that wasn't so bad. *But you should know,* Dianne added. *That the rewards provided to you by the company will be on par with the diligence of your testing.*

"I get it," I said wryly. "Do a bad job, get a bad wage." Dianne offered no response, so I turned from the screen. "I'm ready to play."

Once in the game, I discovered that the traditional character selection screen was somewhat different to what I expected. Instead of a page of portraits to choose from, I was standing in a long room with brilliant white walls, floor and ceiling. In a wide circle that surrounded me were all the characters of Tekken 3, rendered in life-size, three-dimensional models. All were standing on small podiums, and all were completely naked, as was I. They all eyed me wordlessly. It was a little uncomfortable, even if you discounted the nudity.

*Where are their clothes?* I asked Dianne silently as I looked the characters over. They studied me as intently, many of them with hard stares. *And mine?*

*My system is always learning and adjusting to your preferences, Jake,* Dianne informed me. *I anticipated that you would prefer a clothing-free environment.*

She had a fair point, there. Any opportunity to appreciate the female form in all its glory was fine by me. There happened to be many more male than female characters in this game, though, and the long line of dangling tackle -- all of which put my own to shame -- was a little disconcerting. *Can we put some shorts on the guys?* I requested. *It's a bloody sausage party in here.*

At once, skin-tight black shorts appeared on the male selection of the roster. "That's better," I said with relief as I moved along the line. I had to admit, I felt a sense of power rising in me, knowing that I had control over these powerful beings. There was Paul Phoenix, thickly-muscled and hard-faced with his crazy flat-top haircut that added like a foot to his height. Forest Law, the compact and agile Shaolin master. King, the towering wrestler with his head covered by that intimidating mask.

But that was enough of the men. I stopped at Nina, the gorgeous slender blonde with the big rack and legs that went on for days. I openly ogled her from head to toe. She was over six feet tall and far more impressive than I could have imagined. She eyeballed me as she stood there with one hand on a cocked hip. Her lack of clothing appeared to faze her not.

Next to Nina was Ling, much shorter and less curvy, though her taut, fit body was nothing to sneeze at. She winked at me as I passed, and I smiled back. Anna and Julia were next, each as stunning as the others. I saw that not one of the women possessed any pubic hair, which was also my preference. Coincidence? Or Dianne?

Feeling bold, I reached out to touch Julia on the arm, but she batted my hand away, startling me. She waggled a finger in my face, and her expression was amused. "No touching!" She warned. Why was she smiling like that? Was she making fun of me?

"Why not?" I asked, annoyed that I couldn't do what I wanted.

"You have to beat me, first," she answered, looking me up and down critically. She folded her arms beneath her breasts as she waited for my response. My eyes dropped to her chest. While not as stacked as Nina, she was certainly no slouch in the bosom department.

"Beat you?" I said incredulously. *Dianne!* I cried. *What's happening?*

*This is a combat game, Jake,* Dianne said. *If you wish to interact with any characters, you must first defeat them."

*I don't understand,* I shot back. *Why could I get with Tifa right away, but not Julia? Is there some glitch in your system?*

*That is unlikely, Jake,* Dianne replied patiently. *In the world of Final Fantasy, Tifa already knew and loved Cloud, so it was within reason for her to desire intimacy, with you playing as Cloud. As such, it was possible for you to bend the rules enough to achieve that goal. In the Tekken world, you are a stranger. A foreign competitor who must prove himself to earn the spoils.*

*Fuck,* I groaned inwardly. There was no way I was going to be able to beat anyone, not with my complete lack of skill.

*For your information, Jake,* Dianne added. *You are, of course, able to select a character of your choosing with which to fight.*

Now, that was useful to know. Grinning wolfishly at Julia, I turned and crossed the circle until I was standing in front of the great Bryan Fury. Tall and menacing, with arms as thick as my legs, he looked down at me with a stare that was borderline manic. "I'm choosing you," I said. He nodded and stepped down off the podium.

The room darkened to pitch black, and when the lights came back on, I wasn't me anymore. I was in Bryan's body. Awesome, unbridled power rippled through my every muscle. I laughed as I ran my hands over myself. I felt fantastic! With a cocky strut, I made my way back down the line to Julia.

"Shall we?" I asked, taking in her naked form once again. She looked me up and down differently, this time with somewhat more interest, especially the bulge in the front of my shorts. I pulled back the waistband to get a glimpse of what Bryan was packing down there, and my eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Enjoying yourself?" She asked wryly.

"More than I was before!" I chuckled happily as the room vanished and Julia and I were left standing for a moment in complete blackness. A few seconds later we were facing each other in a circular Asian-style arena with a stone floor and balconies all around. Screaming people hung over the railings of those balconies, cheering and yelling out my name or Julia's.

A loud voice boomed, "FIGHT!" I was still ogling Julia's body when her foot caught me right in the belly. The well-placed kick caught me completely unaware and pushed all the air out of my system, doubling me over in pain. My vision swam, and spots danced in the corners of my eyes. Dimly, I heard the crowd explode in roars of triumph and disappointment, depending on who was barracking for whom.

"Christ!" I muttered when I could breathe again. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

"That all you got, new boy?" She taunted as she flipped backwards on the spot. "How disappointing." Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself upright and raised my hands. I didn't know how to fight, but Bryan's body seemed to know what to do. I thought about kicking, and instantly my body was spinning, pivoting on one foot to bring the other one over and down in Bryan's Mach Kick. While my leg moved faster than I imagined, Julia had no problem stepping aside, letting my foot pass her face by a bee's dick. Her countermove was devastating.

I was on the ground again, this time on my back, staring up at the sky. The side of my head rang like a bell. Had she kicked me? I didn't even see it coming. The next thing I knew she was standing over me, one foot on either side of my body, looking down at me critically. Even in my pained state, her body looked delicious. I winced, bracing for a finishing blow, but all she did was grin and flip away. The booming voice sounded again. "ROUND 2. FIGHT!"

With a groan, I rolled over and got to my feet. This was going to be a long day.

*

I returned to the MAP feeling like I'd been run over by several buses. Julia had kicked the shit out of me for three straight rounds and I had failed to land a single blow. Everything hurt. My head, my arms, my legs, my back. All of it. The screen on the wall flashed up with some updated numbers as I approached it, hoping there was at least some benefit to the whipping I'd taken. Sure enough, my physical was increased two points to twenty-two. Further down, stats like Fitness, Resilience and Combat: Hand-to-Hand were increased a small amount, too.

Up the top of the screen, the sync level for Tekken 3 read: Five percent. Great. All that agony for a measly five percent? Looking at hot women in the nude was fun and all, but I wasn't one of those weird guys that liked having women beat him up. I thought about going back in but decided against it; both my body and my pride needed some time.

"May I make a suggestion, Jake?" Dianne said suddenly. Her voice echoed around the MAP room.

"Go for it," I replied, stifling a groan as a twinge in my ribs lanced through me. They felt cracked.

"To ease yourself into the role of heavy melee combat, you might consider utilising the MAP's training facility." Before I could ask what that was, a large square of floor space at the other end of the room flickered. The tiles there changed from white to blue. "Here, you can upload characters from any title beyond stage one synchronisation and interact with them how you choose. For example, you could load Tifa Lockheart's data and train with her until you are ready for Tekken. Furthermore, you can adjust the difficulty to suit your requirements."

"Huh," I mused, considering the idea. I doubted that I would be able to concentrate on fighting much when I was with Tifa. My mind would naturally be on the other thing I liked doing with her. As I pondered it while also wondering if my body would even handle another fight right now, Tifa flickered to life in the training area, looking around as if unsure where she was. She was wearing her usual outfit; white tank top and short black skirt. Her back was to me, and for some reason, I quickly imagined myself wearing a shirt and shorts. To my surprise, the clothes appeared on my body. I hadn't known I could do that.

Tifa turned to face me as I approached, and her hands came up instinctively. Judging by the set of her pretty face, she looked ready to fight. "Who are you?" She demanded. I stopped just outside the first row of blue tiles.

"I am Jake," I said quickly, holding up my own hands in a peaceful gesture. "You are safe, I promise." She cocked her head to the side as I spoke.

"Why do I feel like I know you?" She asked, lowering her hands.

I thought faster than I'd ever thought in my life. "I am not from your world," I told her. "But we have met, in a way." I blushed as I remembered the things she and I had done together while I occupied Cloud's body. "I need your help."

"What do you mean, we've met? I would have remembered, surely." She folded her arms beneath those famous breasts and studied me.

Taking a chance, I stepped into the blue square, but didn't go any closer. I didn't need Tifa kicking me in the head. "Cloud and I, we are connected. We share the same consciousness between our worlds. It's difficult to explain, but there it is. That's why you feel like you know me. We have met, through Cloud. In many ways, I am him, and he is me." It wasn't technically true, but it was enough that she might believe.

Her eyes narrowed. "You don't look like Cloud," she said flatly, giving me a critical once-over. "Or sound like him."