Dark Soul and Rocky

"You know the deal Rocky, no interviews until after Texas. Even then it's iffy," I replied doing another shot.

"Thought maybe you had a change of heart. She could be dead for all you know. Wasting time hiding and all."

"I could be too. Rather not take the chance." I grabbed a bottle of water and downed it. I sang in the band, needed to keep myself in somewhat health.

"I don't have time to badger you today. Leona and the girls are flying in today, and I have to get them before the show tonight. I'll swing by tonight after the show to check on you." Rocky said.

I raised a glass and downed it.

Rocky just shook his head and left.

I thought back to the path that lead me to meeting Rocky's wife Leona.

The letter Rocky left me was one of promise of better days, and the I should come visit him and his wife, and new born in Ireland. It was his second daughter and to be the last. Not because of his injuries, but because he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle another woman in the house.

I didn't go running to Rocky's house in hopes of "better days". I was released about a month later. It took a while, but they were holding me longer as they evaluated my mental state. My body was healed up, but my mind was still a mess. I convinced them that I was sane enough to be released. I was also discharged from the army, given some medals and some money and some other things. I really didn't care any more. I had nothing to go back to in the states, having my heart crushed in so many ways. I had enough to buy a motorcycle, and spent a year touring around Europe. I planned on going somewhere, I just wasn't sure where. Being on the bike and the road helped my mental state. I ended up in Ireland by chance, and still had the letter with Rocky's information on it. I gave him and call, and he invited me to a nearby pub for some drinks. I didn't mind, I was in a pub of some sort almost every night anyway. The nights I wasn't I was drunk in my hotel room, or wherever I crashed.

I got there early, since I had nowhere to be. He came in about when he said he would, he was alone. He sat down next team, and the bartender greeted him and set down a pint in front of him. "Wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. How you been?"

That kind of shocked me. "I've been Rocky. Why invite me if you never thought to see me?"

"You looked like someone that could use a friend. Your emotional state was worse than my physical. I've been there buddy, there is hope. Like me hoping to see you again," he said with a smile.

"Thanks, I'm glad there is someone that understands. I didn't come here for therapy though. This is the last place to visit. Been through Europe the last year, just finished Britain and Scotland. Remembered you offered me some hope figure I would stop by, take a break, and then head somewhere." I drank from my pint, man was that some good beer.

"What are you going to do with the rest of your life, Jake?" Before I could answer he continued, "You need an outlet for the anger and pain. I know I did. You were discharged from the military, and in civilian life, fighting, shooting things, and blowing things up is frowned upon."

"Open road seems to suit me. No chance of settling down, and getting hurt. Just walk away before I do something stupid," I said. "I had what you have once Rocky. The problem is I lost it and it put me in despair, your love pulled you out of despair. Tell me something though. If you are so hopeful and happy why did you put yourself in harms way this last time? I never found out what got you there, you never talked about it." I drank from my fresh glass of beer. Rocky was also starting on a fresh glass.

"As you know the first time I was in a dark place, I charged in not expecting to come out, and I did without a scratch. This time was different. I didn't charge in hoping to not come out, I charged to give us a chance to get out alive. You may have heard some of it, but here is the whole thing."

Rocky started his story, shortly after he had left off with me back in the infirmary. He was stationed in Germany, and his wife moved in with him. A couple months later she was pregnant and had Angelica. About six months later, Leona was pregnant again. It was also when Rocky got his orders to head back to Afghanistan. Not a happy time, but they both knew this could happen. Rocky only had a couple of years left on his service, and he wasn't planning on reupping. With new orders, he packed up and went back on a mission, that was supposed to last three months, then he'd be back in Germany.

The first month was uneventful. Lots of patrols and following intel, to see how legit it was. The second month things got hot. There were minor skirmishes, more IEDs found, and lots of feelings like they were being watched. One day they were sent on patrol, everyone had a funny feeling. Everyone was quiet, taking extra care with their prep, and stocking extra supplies, mainly ammo.

Rocky was in the middle of five Hummers. The area they were to scout, and before they could even stop, the first Hummer was hit by a rocket and was flipped on its side. Rocky jumped out of the back, and another soldier, Fred, out of the front, but they were both hit as soon as they got out. They had kevlar vests on, and weren't killed, but the wind was knocked out of them. Rocky grabbed Fred, and they got under the Hummer. They were the only two that made it out of the Hummers. While the other were pinned down, Rocky got the lay of the land. One side had the most firepower coming from it. It was rocks and bushes and the high ground. The other side there was a shack with two front windows, and a door, up a slight slope. There were other shooters along the hill, but there seemed to be half as many on that side. There was a path up to the shed that if Rocky could get to, he could take the shed. There was enough rocks and trees along the path he may make it. As he was thinking on what to do another rocket shot from the shed. Just missing the second Hummer and kicking up more smoke and dust. Rocky knew he had to take out the shed.

Rocky told Fred his plan, and Fred said thought it was better than nothing as the gunfire continued Rocky threw out a grenade towards the path. As soon as it went off, Rocky and Fred took off. The smoke and dust kicked up from the grenade gave them just enough cover. The other s saw what was happening and laid down cover fire. Fred and Rocky had made it to the path, and had to fend off a few of the hostiles along the way up to the shed. Fred took a shot to the leg and couldn't make it all the way, but was able to cover Rocky to make it. Getting closer to the shed, Rocky saw them getting ready another rocket. He threw a grenade, but it fell short. It went off just in time, causing the rocket to hit the rocks on the other side, knocking out some of the hostiles there, and giving the patrol enough breathing room to regroup, and counter. Rocky charged through the front door, and that is all he remembers.

From what they were able to piece together, was Rocky took a close range bullet to the head, but his helmet blocked it from killing him. Somehow he kept going and finished off the four hostiles in the shed. There were six, but two were taken out from his grenade. They say Rocky walked out, gave the all clear and collapsed.

When he awoke in the hospital as my roommate, he had a steel plate in his head, and patched up bullet wound to his left leg and left arm. The grenade had gone off to his right of the shed, the remaining hostiles were on his left. The arm wasn't bad, but the leg the bone had been fractured, and had to be repaired with pins and screws. He has a slight limp because of it. The initial shot when he jumped from the Hummer broke a couple of ribs. All in all he was lucky.

"Guess I don't get it Rocky. The first time you ran in before Leona, I understand the anger and rage and the outcome you looked for. This time, you said you had everything to live for. Why?"

He chuckled. "That's what's been bothering you, Jake? Why you came to see me? Makes sense though. You've been down so long you've forgotten what up feels like to be up. It's simple this time I actually fought harder than ever, and I was a 100 times more scared. The reason I did it was for love and to live, because Leona would hunt me down and kill me. When I was trying to catch my breath after being hit after jumping out, all I could see was Leona. And I swear I never wanted to live so much in my life. I wanted to get back to her, and hold her, and well, love her. I might have gotten my ass kicked, but I never wanted to fight so hard in my life to live." He was smiling as he finished off his pint.

I finished mine as well. "You are making me really want to meet this angel of yours."

"Well she wanted you to come by for dinner, but I told her I wanted to meet you and make sure you hadn't gone off the deep end."

I looked at him as the bartender set another round in front of us. "Am I that scary of a person?"

He laughed. "Not at all. I figured I could get a night out and have a few drinks. Might be in love, but no fool. Know an opportunity to get out when I see one. I can only do it once. You are having dinner with us tomorrow night. I'd suggest not missing it. She will hunt you down."

I looked at him, and something occurred to me. "Rocky, you talk about me? You hardly know me. You've shown me more friendship than well, anyone in a long time. Why?"

"You are like looking in a mirror Jake, minus the scars from your heroism. The dark scars on your soul, those look all too familiar. Guess I figure if I can make it so can you. I did it because of Leona. I figure I can pay it forward, and help you."

We finished our beers, and he walked home, and i walked up to my room.

I finished my lunch and reminiscing. I grabbed my jacket and headed downstairs to get to the arena. Mind you, I am a rock star, so lunch for me is mid-afternoon. I liked getting to the arena early. Takes a bit of time to get the makeup on, and I like the peace and quiet. I don't have anyone but the band, managers, and Rocky. The band is usually running interference for me. Doing interviews, making appearances, and other public things, they love, and I hate, or more accurately hiding. Rocky is usually around getting things together. Since this is our second night in a row he isn't here. His family will be with him for the tour. He wanted to show them the states. The two managers we have Diane, and Darla, are twin sisters. One is usually with the Happy Demons, and making sure they are where they need to be. The other one is doing damage control. Rocky is usually managing me. I have gotten into routines, and they generally know where I am at. Which is usually alone and drunk.

I liked being alone with my drink before a show. Tonight, just Jim and I. I strummed on the acoustic to warm up. As I played an Irish ditty, I couldn't help think of the first time I met Leona. It was the night after Rocky and I had met at the pub. The next day I spent drinking in my room. Which was pretty normal. I headed to Rocky's house about the time I vaguely remember agreeing upon.

Rocky was on the porch, and waved as I approached. It was a nice little two story. As we greeted each other, we walked inside. I am not sure how to describe Leona. As she came out of the kitchen to greet us I was awestruck. She wasn't just out of Rocky's and my league, she was out of any mortal's league. Fiery red hair, piercing green eyes, porcelain, lightly freckled skin, and a body (after two kids) that was mesmerizing. If I wasn't so deep in despair I might have shown some emotion. I nodded and said hello.

She looked at Rocky, and with a thick Irish accent, "Sheesh, you weren't kiddin'. He is so deep in despair he can't even gawk properly. Little creepy there Jake. You look like you want to run."

"Sorry mam. Just can't seem to get my head straight. If I make you feel uncomfortable, I can go," I said as I partially turned. Rocky stopped me and spun me back.

"Told you he has a tough nut to crack." Rocky said chuckling as he did.

I met his daughters Angelica and Marcella, who were just as beautiful as their mother. We ate, and talked. Well they talked, a lot. I grunted and gave as short of answers as possible. I found out Leona really didn't work, but helped in Rocky's business when he needed it. Another reason Rocky didn't get out much. In the hospital Rocky sang religious songs because he was thankful to be alive and returning to his wife. He was actually quite the music wiz. He was an encyclopedia of music knowledge. Something he got growing up, and during his training for boxing, he listened to all kinds of music. Plus he read constantly about music. The only thing was he couldn't do was sing, or play an instrument. But he had a great ear for what was good, and a wealth of knowledge. Putting that together he opened a CD/Vinyl store. Even though he couldn't play an instrument he had decided to sell them also. His business was doing pretty good he said. He invited me over to his shop the next day and I figured why not. I had nowhere else I really cared to be.

After a wonderful dinner, I said my goodbyes, and headed back to the hotel pub to drown my sorrows, and then head to bed.

The next day I walked the couple of blocks to Rocky's music store. It was close to his house. It was a small town. The shop was nice and Rocky was in the middle of helping someone so I looked around. I was checking out some really nice guitars when Rocky came up. "Know anything about music?", he asked.

"A few things. Mom was a backup singer for various bands. Never toured was mostly studio stuff. My dad had a real love of music, particularly hard rock and heavy metal. I learned to play guitar at an early age. Would probably pursued it more seriously if I hadn't fallen in love. Was in a band that didn't last long after I graduated." I had told him.

"Feel like working here Jake?" he asked and I could tell he was serious.

I thought about it, and advised him against it. "Rocky I might know my stuff, but my head isn't in a very good place. I'm not a good salesman, and I enjoy being drunk and alone."

He laughed at me like he always seems to, "You're hired Jake. You described most of the musicians that shop here. They'll relate to you perfectly."

For the life of me I couldn't figure out why the hell I took the job. Within a couple days I had an apartment. Was close the shop, and pub, much like Rocky's house. Rocky didn't go to the pub much. I think they took his Irish card away because of it. He worked at the shop, and doted on that Goddess of a wife and two little angels. When things were slow at the shop I took to playing the instruments. It was therapeutic. I also talked to Rocky a lot. I have no idea why. Rocky just had that easy going way about him that people started talking to him and telling him things, and had no idea why.

Over the year, the playing and talking started to form songs. Rocky had some small recording booths in the store, and got me to record them. He knew some people, and things started to happen. Before I knew it I had songs, a band, an album. As I was getting to go tour outside of Ireland Rocky came to me.

"So this it, your quitting?" he asked smirking.

I chuckled myself, "Yeah, you're a pain in the ass. I don't know how your wife puts up with it."

He smiled at me, "Yeah I know what you mean. Probably why she suggested I come with you."

Now that was a shock. "What the heck, Robert? You cannot leave her. I mean did you do something stupid. Your daughters, what, how, who?"

"Slow down Jake. It isn't like that. If you think about it you don't need me. Well in the musical sense. I was thinking of being your "Roadie". And before you say anything, yes I would make the world's worst roadie. If I called it therapist I know you would say no," he explained.

"I can't let you do that Rocky. First of all your wife scares me. Second, I can't see you surviving more than a week apart from her and your daughters. Third who's going to run this place. I mean it can't get much shittier, but still." I was completely baffled.

He laughed, "Jake I love my wife more than anything I have ever loved. Yes, she scares me too. I cannot survive without her, but this is her idea. And don't worry about this place. In all seriousness, I make money from the investments in real estate. This is more of a hobby, that I started. Fortunately the people I hired are the ones that really run it, and it makes enough money for them all to survive, but my real money is investments. The important thing is trust, Jake. You might not have seen it, but things are not all sunshine and roses. Leona and I fight, who doesn't. We've been tempted, people have hit on us, her more so, a lot more. But we never waver Jake. We are open and honest. Which is usually why we fight. In the end we are one, and something like this won't be a bad thing. I'm also not going to spend all my time with you. I'm going to go, spend some time, and make sure you aren't going to do something stupid. Plus you aren't going far. Not like your heading back to the Americas. From what you've told me it'd take a miracle to get you to go back to America. Plus I'll bring them time to time. Be fun for us to travel some."

I didn't know what to say. At the time Diane and Darla were new to managing a band, and probably could not handle my sunshiny demeanor, especially when I got dark. Whether I like it or not Rocky was coming, and I am thankful he did. I won't admit it to him.

On the road the last few years, there has been temptation. He has never once wavered. Of course I knew what he had at home. Every night they spoke when he was away. He would drink with us time to time, but always called or video chatted her. Every Sunday he would be in some Catholic church or another. When I would start to spiral down, he was always there for me. He's had to kick my ass a few times to do it, and he did it a little too happily.

And that is how Rocky became the worst roadie I have. It is also how I learned that there is still love and happiness in the world. Rocky truly has the most loving wife any man would want, and never deserve.

As my thoughts returned to the present, I had the inking for a new song. It would have to wait though. My current bottle was empty, and it was getting late. Time to get the makeup on and hit the stage. So far so good, no physical demons came visiting, just the usual ones that haunt me. That would soon change, just not where I thought.