Dawn's Innocence

"Torr, you're welcome to stay with us," Nash said softly. Torr was an alpha male and would not take kindly to demands. Nash was not in the position to demand anything of Torr. Torr had more than paid any debts he owed to the pack through his show of bravery. What happened in Texas left no one unscathed, but Torr bore more than his fair share of scars. The man was battered soul deep. Torr had done what he'd had to do to save the lives of many and sacrificed much in the process. Nash could see the turmoil swirling in the man's eyes and the weight of burden on Torr's shoulders.

Torr felt he was somehow responsible for his father and all the misery the son of a bitch had caused. Torr too had caused more than a bit of trouble himself in the past. Nash didn't miss the careful distance Torr maintained from Thomas and Jan. Nash didn't miss the way Thomas protectively steered Jan away from Torr either. Thomas was so deeply embroiled in their world that sometimes it was hard to forget he wasn't truly a part of it.

Nash caught the hardness of the angry scowl Thomas cast in Torr's general direction. Torr flinched and pretended not to notice. But, Torr was too much of a wolf not to miss the anger Thomas cast on him. It was simple really, what hurt Jan Thomas wanted to eradicate off the face of the planet. He was behaving as a bonded male would, aggressive and bristling to protect his wife from harm. Jan's worry over her mother and sister was a consequence of the bigger problem. A problem Seff, not Torr, had caused. Not that it mattered to Thomas. Jan's pain had to be avenged and since Seff wasn't there to hate, Torr made a nice stand in.

Torr might have deserved some of Thomas's rage. He had been willing to kill Thomas for the rights to Jan. That his father was behind it didn't matter. Torr could have walked away, but he hadn't. Thomas had almost died taking the blade in the heart aimed for Torr. The two men had come to a fragile truce, but the peace was riddled with bitter and hard feelings. The battle was over, but long from being forgotten.

"Torr please, stay with us," Eloise coaxed as she approached and wound her arm through the bend in Nash's elbow. Torr would never be considered a member of the pack. He was an orphan cast out into the world alone. He'd never concede to belonging and taking his place in any pack. As far as she was concerned, he was welcome and she knew Nash shared her opinion.

Torr was hurting, deeply wounded by the past he'd had no control over. He needed time. Torr had no misgivings about what kind man his father was, but, when his father had betrayed him, it left a deep festering wound in his soul. "Torr," she said, hooking a finger under his chin and pulling his face level with hers to force him to meet her eyes. "None of this was your fault. Quit denying yourself of the one thing that could ease your pain. Family."

"Family." Torr rested his chin against Eloise's fingers. Her touch was gentle as she feathered his hair off his brow. Their days of confinement had bonded them in a way that only fear and the threat of death can. Many assumed that his interest in her was romantic. He had taken her as his firstborn mate to save her life and for no other reason. He saw her as a surrogate mother. In her gentleness he imagined what his mother might have been like if his father hadn't stolen her from him.

"Kacie has an apartment nearby. I'm sure she'd let you use it. She can stay here with us while you take time to think things over." She brought Torr's forehead down to her shoulder and cradled his big head on the curve of her neck as she wrapped an arm around his waist to bring him into a hug. His unshed tears tinged the air with the stinging, bitter scent of sadness and regret. He was so lost. "Please Torr, I'm not ready to let you go off into the world all alone just yet. What difference will a few days make?"

Torr sniffed against the softness of Eloise's collar. He felt like a little boy wrapped in his mother's protective arms. All his imaginings of comfort and love from a mother's touch had been made real in those few brief seconds she held him. He had no direction in his life beyond finding Erica Gray and his daughter. At this point he wasn't even sure where to start looking. "Ok, I'll stay for a few days."

Eloise smiled and released Torr. Gently caressing his cheek with her fingers, she smiled. He truly was a soft touch, so unlike his father. Beyond their uncanny resemblance to one another it was impossible to see any mark of Seff in Torr at all. It took more than DNA to make a man who he was. "Good." She took Torr's hand in hers and wound an arm around Nash's waist. She hoped the show of solidarity and forgiveness would be good for the pack to see. Many of them thought ill of Torr. They heard the stories of the battle. They knew he had killed his father in the fight. But none of them knew the broken remnants of the little boy he'd once been and how he suffered deep inside, in silence. Only she knew that. She led them to the front porch where the others were gathering before herding inside. She held head held high, proud to call him friend.

Chapter 7

"How tall are the trees, Uncle Carter?" Evan asked breathlessly as Carter slowed to a trot. The air had turned his cheeks red and the cold nipped at his fingers. He couldn't feel the tip of his nose anymore. He didn't care though. This place was a wonderland of new and exciting adventures and he was going to tackle every one of them.

Carter chuckled and clutched the boy's hands in his, rubbing his tiny fingers between his big palms to warm them. Evan was innocuously curious and asked questions about the world with a little boy's enthusiastic zeal. The child sitting on his shoulders babbled like a brook. So many questions and so many observations, in a way it made Carter feel as if he were seeing the world for the first time too. Maybe, that was the wonder of children. Everything for them was so brand new and stripped of the jaded taint of bad memories. "I don't know, Evan. Tall."

"Taller than the buildings in the city?"

"Maybe." Carter approached the wide clearing and slowed to a trot before stopping to remove Evan from his shoulders. He crouched low to look the boy in the eye. "Evan, this is not Texas. This world is bigger than it seems. Dangerous in ways you can't possibly comprehend as of yet. Promise me that you'll stay close to your mom and dad, close to the pack."

Evan nodded. His thumb wandered to his mouth before he realized and dropped his hand. He was not a baby and he did not suck his thumb. Only babies did that. It was a bad habit he had when he got nervous. Uncle Carter made him nervous. Well, not Uncle Carter but the gleam of worry and fear in his blue eyes. Evan placed his palm on Uncle Carter's cheek and worked a strand of the vampire's curly blond hair with his fingers. "Don't worry, I'll be good. I promise." Evan nibbled his chapped bottom lip. Another bad habit his mother was constantly grouching at him about. "Uncle Carter, are you afraid?"

The little boy's question knocked the wind out of Carter's sails. How to answer? He didn't want to terrify the child, but he didn't want to lie either. There were things, dangers out there Evan couldn't begin to understand and Carter wished he'd never have to explain. Carter sank to his knees, not minding the cold and wet that soaked his jeans. Down low like this, he and Evan were eye to eye. There was no deceiving this little boy who saw so much. Gently, he lifted Evan's hands, cupping them as he lifted his eyes to meet Evan's. "For you, definitely. For myself, perhaps."

Evan wrapped his arms around Uncle Carter's neck and rested his forehead against Carter's. "I'm scared for you too," he said.

Evan's response left him speechless. He wanted to reassure the little boy that 'Uncle Carter' would be around for a very, very long time. Perhaps, long after Evan had turned to dust in his grave. There was no such reassurance to offer. His kind died and usually it was not due to old age. After receiving a sloppy, slobbery kiss on the cheek, he gave the boy a soft shove on the rump and sent him scampering to his mother. Once he was certain the boy wasn't looking, he wiped the kiss from his cheek.

Carter rose to his height and watched Evan wrestle with the other children. Carter's first instinct was to deliver one hell of a smack down to the bigger boys. Nobody was going to hurt Evan, ever. He could not understand why the wolf child was so drawn to him or what he'd done to earn Evan's trust. The fact that the child had worked his way into his heart confounded him and was a complication Carter didn't need. There was something inexplicable about the boy that touched him. He bristled as one of the larger, older boys, Daniel he thought, tackled Evan to the ground. The teenager needed a lesson in manners and Carter was going to be the teacher. He turned to stomp over to the boys when he noticed Shayla snickering at him and shaking her head in both warning and amusement.

His seemed to be sharing his head with a lot of people these days. During the escape attempt, he'd given his blood to Shayla and taken hers, twice, in exchange. As a result, they shared a strong psychic connection. He'd seen inside her soul and had given her a peek inside of his. She knew him at his deepest elemental level. She saw him where he lived and breathed. Yet, she looked at him now with an amused glint in her eye. She should be trembling in fear. Terrified of him. Instead, she laughed in his face.

Shayla snickered as the big, bad, blond vampire tried to block her out of his mind in an attempt to hide the softer spots of his deepest heart. He cared for Evan. He cared for these people. He cared for her. He was just too busy trying to be a bad ass to realize the truth of how he really felt. She inched closer and nudged him playfully in the ribs with her elbow. "Can I have a piggyback ride next?"

Carter scowled down at Shayla. Her dark hair was artfully pulled back into a bun. Exposing more of the creamy flesh of her neck and the bounding pulse point than he wanted or needed to see. Her brown eyes twinkled in amusement as she looked up at him. He felt the stirrings of more than the blood bond between them. Her lush, full lips curved in a smile, begging to be thoroughly laved by his tongue and scraped by his fangs. "Aren't you a little old for piggyback rides?"

Shayla batted her eyes at Carter playfully. "You're never too old to have fun." Fun was something his life was definitely in need of. He was stodgy and stoic on the outside, but his mind, the hidden parts, shimmered with the enthusiastic glee of a child on Christmas morning. She supposed that was how he survived the endless centuries he had. For him, deep in his innermost parts, life had never lost its wonder.

Carter snorted. "Fun is a relative term." She'd lost her husband to Seff's brutality and she was here to start a new life, running from a past that she'd never really out run. The sooner she realized that, the better. Who was he to judge? It'd taken him over two centuries to realize the very same thing. He could spare her the agony of that particular discovery, but why? She'd suffered too much as it was. Maybe, the deception of starting over was better than the reality that there truly was no way to ever leave the past behind.

Shayla was a beautiful woman. She was dark and mystical. Her eyes held a grace in their dark orbs, a wisdom and knowledge of the things beyond. Perhaps, the losses she'd suffered had given her a glimpse into the eternal. He didn't know. He'd always preferred the shadows to the light and Shayla with her bronzed skin and black hair and eyes was night. Unfortunately, there was nothing dark about her soul. Her heart was the blazing light of day he'd avoided for almost five hundred years.

Carter had tried to capture the sunlight once and he'd failed. He'd left that glimmering golden promise to the death he'd delivered her into and fled from all things light and shimmering. He did not want to be the cause of Shayla's descent into darkness. He did not want that spark of light to fade, ever. She needed warmth and sunshine. He was nothing but cold and dark shadow. And in the end, he'd destroy her too, just as he had the sunlight that had had the mercy to shine down on him long, long ago. He had to leave this place...leave her, before he caused her light to burn out forever.

Chapter 8

Kacie snuggled in the crook of Tristen's arm, her new favorite place to be. She had one arm and half of her torso tucked inside his jacket, all warm and snuggly sharing his body heat. His scent draped over her and mingled with hers. She loved the smell of him and the smell of them mingling together. Her scent covering him filled her with a flicker of possessive pride.

She put up a good fight about losing her matchbox sized, one bedroom, and living room/kitchen combo apartment above Ginger's garage to Torr. Truth was, she had nothing there of immense personal value and the place was no great shakes. She had to make it look good enough to convince her mom and Nash that she was really pissed off about losing her private space. As compensation, they'd allowed her to bypass sharing a bedroom with someone else or being forced to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag and given her private accommodations.

A lot of the pack was bunking up together and sharing sleeping quarters. Nobody really seemed to mind the inconvenience of all the extra houseguests. The combined pack mates were quite gracious to one another. Kids pounded down the basement stairs carting sleeping bags and chattering excitedly about the extended slumber party. Males big as houses were going to perform a miracle of sorts and squish their huge bulk onto twin sized beds. Unmated pack surrendered their private rooms to mated couples and anyone who was left claimed whatever space was available on the floor, on couches, or wherever they could find.

Everyone was so damned polite. Kacie expected at least one fight to break out over the last pillow or blanket. Didn't happen. Tristen's pack was so different. Going back to Texas, it had been easy to forget that. Back here, the culture was one of community and common good. Nobody owned anything with the exception of a few odds and ends and trinkets. Everybody shared everything. In the spirit of cooperation her pack seemed to be adapting to the foreign concept of unity. And everyone worked damn hard to get along with everyone else. After all, if things didn't work out they didn't exactly have a home to go back to. They had Texas, of course, but nobody, anybody here anyway, wanted to call that place home, ever.

Even the females waited patiently for their turn in the bathroom. Everything was a bustle of activity as the sleeping arrangements were finalized. Nobody was going to bed anytime soon. The sky was fading to that shade of dark purple gray of twilight, but it was late afternoon and everyone was too excited, bristling with too much pent up energy from the long drive to sleep.

Tomorrow, she planned to call the Super Center and beg for her job back. The economy in this little town was horrible and she bet her spot had already been filled. If the Super Center didn't want her, there had to be someplace else around here that would. What else was she supposed to do with her life? Finding a job was priority one. She couldn't put her life on a track if she couldn't even pay her rent or put supper on the table. She wasn't a sponge and she refused to take handouts or pity from anyone. She had to do this for herself, by herself.

For now, she was camping out at pack central till she figured out what her next move was. Part of her wanted to stay and part of her was terrified of doing so. These people for all their shortcomings and finer qualities were her family. What happened in Texas would be a long time leaving the forefront of her mind. She'd almost died and might have, if not for Carter's blood flowing through her veins. That thought of belonging, being interdependent on a pack, of what could happen and what had happened, scared her the most. The idea of being out in the world alone with no one but distant family scared her almost as badly.

Ok, so she preferred casual commitments. Real ones scared her to death. Her best bet was to get her own place. Probably kick Torr out of hers and reclaim the space. Ginger didn't charge much for the rent and she included utilities in the price. Maybe, with some new curtains and flare she could make the apartment more like home. Living on her own, but close enough that her family was a ten-minute drive away sounded like a good compromise to her. First though was to find a job so she could actually pay the rent. Until then, Torr could stay there and foot the bill. It'd keep someone else from swiping the apartment out from under her. Torr wouldn't stick around forever. In that regards he was a little like her, uncertain of exactly where it was he belonged and terrified to belong anywhere too permanent.

Tristen was so convinced of his place in the world. But, of course, he'd grown up in a different world than she had. One not quite so screwed up and shoved down his throat the way hers had been. She'd thought she knew exactly where her life was going. And it would have gone down the way it had been planned...if what happened in Texas hadn't happened.

Tristen was so strong in his convictions. Even though he was a year or two younger than she, he was more mature than her on so many levels. He didn't fear commitment. He knew exactly where he belonged. What he wanted and didn't want. He was just simply content to wait for all the pieces to fall into place. Kacie wished she could be more like him and instead of struggling to try to force the pieces where they didn't quite fit she could just let them fall.

She'd conveniently chosen the vacant room next door to Tristen's. Seemed like a good plan, easy access and all that. For all her confusion and uncertainty of her future, there was one thing she knew for certain that she did want. She wanted him. What would come of it or where he fit into the grand scheme of her life, she had no clue.

The joke was on Torr. He'd be the one climbing into a cold bed at night alone. She had no plans of her bed being cold or sleeping alone. She had every intention of getting Tristen into her bed to keep her warm. Now, all she had to do was get him to go along with the program. For lack of better terms they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Wasn't sex the natural progression of things? When two people wanted each other the way Tristen and she did. Why shouldn't they get what they wanted?

Tristen caught the glances his dad cast at him out of the corner of his eye. He knew the talk was coming. There really wasn't much that his dad could tell him that he didn't already know. Maybe, he could teach the old man a few things. He knew all about safe and responsible sex. Although the human meaning of safe sex was very different from the wolf meaning, he got the gist of it.

Birth control wasn't taboo in the pack. It just wasn't necessarily approved of either. Children were too precious and the future too valued to waste. Pregnancies were encouraged, especially since so many of them resulted in miscarriage and stillbirths. Women risked their lives to bring the next generation into being. There were just so few, too few, babies born and the welfare of the pack as a whole depended on those babies.

He'd have to use precautions. With this new infusion of blood, the pack wasn't in danger of extinction anytime soon. He wasn't a total idiot and he wasn't ready for fatherhood, yet. But, there was more to wolf sexuality than just babies. When he went all the way with Kacie, he had to make sure first, without any shadow of a doubt, that she was the one. Wolves mated for life, and being stuck with the wrong one, as he'd seen couples accidentally do and live to regret it, could be hell on earth. He was already well on his way to the legendary 'in love' with Kacie. But, he didn't know if she fully felt the same way about him.