Dead and Horny Ch. 24

"Tell me, Tasia. What is the most dangerous blade of all?"

She bit her lip in frustration. The last thing she wanted was another lesson from her father. "It's the one you don't see coming...sir," she added with contempt.

"Something is rotting from within the Order." Alexandros looked away from the flames. "Powerful enemies move against us from the shadows, and I fear they are winning. The organization was so easily swayed into believing in your guilt that I now doubt how noble their intentions are. With the death of so many ranking members, I am now seeing a rise in disturbing personal philosophies. We were meant to maintain the balance between worlds, but I suspect some use this mission statement as little more than a shield for their true ideology."

"I..." Tasia cleared her throat. "This is something I recently discovered for myself."

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" Alexandros undid the belt that held his sheath against his waist. "For centuries, our family has served the Order. We have shed our own blood to maintain that which we held important. To that end, I must ask you a tremendous favor."

Alexandros held out his sword. "This blade was my father's," he said. "I want you to take it, to be the blade that nobody sees coming. Basil is already preparing a boat to take you to a secret training facility known only to me and him. It is there that I will train you personally that we may ferret out corruption and help re-establish the true purpose of the Order: to maintain and preserve the balance. For both sides."

"Father, I..." Tasia raised her hand and pushed the blade back toward her father. "That isn't who I am, anymore."

"Take it." Alexandros frowned. "You are a Knight no longer, and this blade is not for the Order. It belongs solely to the Laskaris family, and it is a gift from a father to his daughter. In places where you cannot turn to the wolf, it will serve you well."

"I...thank you." Tasia secrured the belt around her own waist. She felt a chill run up her spine as the sword vanished from sight, the belt bursting into motes of darkness that formed into an obsidian bracelet on her wrist. "Really. Thank you."

"It will be some time before I can come to you," he said. "And when I do, it will be under the guise of self-imposed punishment for your actions. Publically, I will demand your head and slander you appropriately so that the Council and anyone watching will assume that we have no correspondence. But privately?" His eyes met hers. "I am insanely proud of you."

Tasia blinked away tears and was about to respond when she heard the soft click of the secret door.

"The boat is ready, sir." Basil stood there holding a poncho in one hand. "The weather conditions are absolutely dreadful and will make a perfect cover for our egress."

Alexandros nodded. "Go," he said. "Be safe."

In silence, Tasia followed Basil through the passageways of the island. Her fingers went to the bracelet at her wrist more than once, marveling at the smooth, cold texture. Would it expand to fit her wrist when she became the wolf? It was something she would have to test later.

Secret passageways turned into rocky caves that dripped with water. The dark, Aegean seas swelled dangerously around their narrow path as they entered a jagged opening. A boat was tied to a nearby rock. Basil gestured for Tasia to get in, then joined her. He offered the clear poncho to Tasia.

"It's raining quite hard, Miss."

Tasia stared out at the rolling waters. The rain had turned the darkness of night into an inky void. A part of her was scared to explore it, to face the unknown without a familiar face at her side. How long would it even be before she could get in contact with Dana? She was essentially going into exile, which meant she had no way of letting the others know that she was okay.

Troubled, she turned back to her father's servant and shook her head. "No thank you," she said, then leaned back in the boat and put her arms behind her head. "I quite like the rain. It fits my mood this evening."

"Very well." Basil put on a poncho of his own, then picked up an oar. "And if you'll pardon me for suggesting it, this will go much faster if you help row."

"Oh. Right." Chagrined, Tasia sat back up and grabbed the nearest oar. As they rowed out into the tumultuous waters of the Aegean, she looked up at her childhood home, wondering if she would ever see it again.

Together, they rowed out into the darkness to face the unknown.

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Dana was back in the observatory, up on the ladder once more. In her hand was a new gear, created this morning and filed down to fit precisely in place. Sticking her hand into the assembly above, she closed her eyes and tried to visualize positioning the piece.

Instead of seeing the array, she saw Tasia. It had been almost five days now since the werewolf walked through the portal to her father's home, and Dana still hadn't heard from her. Eulalie had been monitoring chatter from the Order, but had yet to hear anything regarding Tasia.

Had Tasia been captured? Killed? Had she changed her mind about how she felt about Dana? These questions dominated Dana's brain until she heard a loud clank, followed by the sound of the ladder clattering to the floor. She opened her eyes to see that in her trance she had stepped away from the ladder and fallen, her legs kicking it to the floor.

"Stupid fucking useless zombie!" Tink threw a wrench across the room and picked the ladder up to shove it beneath Dana's feet. "Broke gear again. Get head out of clouds!"

"Sorry," she muttered, then looked up at her hand. The gear had slid away from her and was stuck in a different part of the assembly now. Her fall had caused her hand to catch in the assembly and trigger movement, which meant the whole system was now seized up. Based on Tink's current verbal tirade, there was a good chance Dana would have to fix it by herself later.

Well, after she repaired her hand. The way it was pinched, she knew that most of her fingers were broken and could even see bone in places. It was easier to yank her hand out and then go back with a pair of pliers to retrieve her middle finger. Tink made a face at Dana as she walked past.

"Tink help when stupid dead girl ready to pay attention," she declared, then blew a raspberry, flipped Dana the bird, and stormed out.

Unperturbed, Dana began the long walk to the centaur village. The deep grooves and cuts on her hands were already healing, but the delicate tendons in her finger would need to be reattached.

Zel was busy giving a lesson on healing herbs to some of the younger centaurs, including her son Callisto. The young centaur's eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the damage to Dana's hand. Zel immediately ended the lesson.

"C'mon, shoo. Shoo." Zel waved the children away and was already putting on gloves. "We have to stop meeting like this. Telescope again?"

"Telescope again." Dana walked to the surgery table and placed her hand out, her severed finger clutched tightly in her palm. "I got distracted. Tink's mad at me now."

"Oh, I'm sure." Zel chuckled, then pulled out her sewing kit. "Tink's always mad at someone."

"Mike prefers the term passionate." Dana grinned at the thought of Mike and Tink together. They seemed like emotional opposites, yet the two of them had always been close. In a lot of ways, it reminded her of Tasia. The two of them had made a great team, and--

"Helloooo." Zel had picked up a stick and was poking Dana in the shoulder. "I can't get started unless you hold your fingers wide for me."

"Sorry." Dana watched as Zel began the long process of locating her tendons and trying to force them back together. "How's our boy doing?" she asked.

"Vampyr on the rocks?" Zel smirked. "He's doing just fine in cold storage. Actually, there's something I wanted to show you when you get a second. I think we made a breakthrough last night studying his cells, one that you could use."

Dana shrugged. She wanted to be excited, but it simply wasn't there. "Only if you have time," she muttered.

"Oh, I always have time for science." Zel's eyes gleamed as she shoved Dana's finger in place. "I always have time for this, too, but maybe give me a few more days next time. You were a mess when you got back from your top secret trip."

"Ah, yes. The one that everybody knew about." Dana should have known better than to assume it would remain a secret, but had been surprised to learn that Mike and the others already knew. She had tried to explain what they were doing to Mike, but he had informed them that they owed him nothing. If Eulalie thought it was important, then he trusted their judgment entirely.

Lily had huffed throughout Mike's monologue about personal boundaries, but Dana had it on good authority that the succubus subsequently spent most of that evening and part of the next morning attempting to suck him dry of his bodily fluids. The man had been walking around with a shit-eating grin for days now and had even giggled once when someone asked how he slept.

"At least I'm not pulling shrapnel out of your butt." Zel grabbed Dana by the wrist. "Bend it for me."

Dana flexed all of her fingers as the cells regenerated. "Technically, it was my inner thigh," she said. "Was just easier for me to bend over on the table is all."

"I've spent more time with my fingers inside you than any other person on earth. We're practically dating at this point." Zel pulled off her gloves, moving to wash her hands in the basin.

"That sounds like a Lily original."

Zel nodded. "She's been around a lot lately. I can tell how restless she is. Spends a good chunk of time with Callisto. I'm not sure what that's about. I think it might be related to Velvet's egg, since Mike has it almost full time right now."

"You're probably right." Dana knew that Lily struggled with their failure to capture Legion. It was probably the first time she had been outwitted by another demon. "So what did you want to tell me about our Vlad-cicle?"

"Come." She gestured for Dana to follow. The zombie followed Zel to her alchemy lab where several potions were in the process of being distilled by a pair of apprentices. They continued their work as Zel pulled a journal from her bag and then slid a microscope over to Dana.

"You'll see it for yourself," Zel said as she opened a nearby drawer and pulled out a slide with a drop of blood on it. Dana waited for the centaur to mount the slide before she looked down into the eyepiece.

"What am I...oh." The blood cells were red and vibrant in the light of the microscope. "When did you collect this?"

"Yesterday. I carved a couple of pieces off that corpse and brought them here to thaw. Each one of those cells is like a tiny battery. I even had Ratu do a couple of tests." Zel pushed her journal open to reveal a drawing she had made. "Based on some preliminary information, I think we've found you a food source far more efficient than Mike's cum."

"Interesting." Dana scratched at her chin. "So I could eat Timotei when I need a little boost?"

"Well, yes and no. For one thing, your vampyr is a limited resource. Unless you want to put his head and body back together and see if he'll regenerate, you're gonna eventually run out of your stock at the South Pole."

"Hmm." With Reggie's help, they had created a deep freezer beneath an abandoned research station and stored Timotei's body there while Timotei's head was locked in a steel box in the Vault. Despite decapitation and being stabbed through the heart, the vampyr's body was constantly trying to repair the damage. Seeing a research opportunity, both Zel and Ratu had advocated on Dana's behalf to study the creature before it completely expired. Since Timotei had lapsed into a dreamless sleep, he at least wasn't feeling any pain. "What else did you want to say?"

"It's about you. After your issues post-cannibalizing the Nirumbi, I took some blood samples and kept them on hand. I made sure to take a new sample after you told me about eating vampyr flesh and compared them." Zel slid her journal across to Dana. "Based on the data I have here, your body's composition is changing based on what you put into it. I never really found a trend when you were just eating Mike's magic juice, but this? It's like you're something else entirely."

"You got all that from my blood?" Dana pondered the journal.

"Ratu helped," Zel admitted. "She can measure things a microscope can't see."

"Huh. So I'm becoming a vampyr?"

Zel shook her head. "Not quite. But you're becoming something. Whenever you decide to chow down on somebody, my assumption is that you may retain a small part of them forever. Or maybe it works itself out eventually, I honestly don't know. But you said your mental state has stabilized since this?"

Dana nodded. Ever since the battle at the church, she had yet to experience a flashback.

"Well, that's something. Right now, you're balanced. You keep eating that vampyr's body, though? Who knows what will happen to you."

"I see." Dana stepped away from the alchemy table. "Thank you, then. For everything."

"Of course." Zel smiled warmly and gestured away from the village. "Now go home and try to keep all your limbs attached for at least a week, if you could."

"You got it, doc." Dana walked out of the camp, pondering this latest development. Zel had pretty much confirmed what Dana already suspected; eating others was granting her a modicum of their power. But like always, she knew there would be a cost.

Her stomach gurgled, the result of restoring a severed digit. She was still days out from needing something to eat, but thinking about Timotei made her hungry. When she walked into the kitchen, she nodded at Sofia who was in the middle of making tortillas. The tall cyclops smiled in her direction, and Dana suddenly wondered if the Head Librarian had ever had a thing for women.

Interesting, she thought as she opened up the fridge. The stray sexual thought about the cyclops had caught her off guard. Typically she only had those after eating. Staring into the fridge, she saw her regular food down below, tucked away in clearly marked shot glasses. Yet she wanted something a bit more substantial, meatier even. Closing the door of the fridge, she wandered out to the garage and unlocked the door that led to Antarctica. Stepping through, she pulled the dagger free from her waistband as she contemplated the headless corpse strapped to the table. Until it had frozen solid, the damned thing had flailed mindlessly around.

Using the Order's dagger, she sliced a strip of bicep away and stuck it in her mouth like a meat lollipop. Though it was rock hard, it softened enough in the warmth of her mouth that she could properly bite down and hold it in place. Vampyr tasted like smoked brisket with slightly burnt edges. Dana's mouth flooded with saliva as she sucked on the meat, letting the flavor trickle down the back of her throat. Though it was tempting to remain beneath the polar ice all day eating a vampyr, Dana decided that taking it slow would give her time to figure out the price for doing so. For now, she would have to settle for a quick bite and the good vibes that would follow.

Walking through the house, she hurried past the others, unwilling to answer any questions about what she was chewing. She practically sprinted up the stairs to return to the observatory, waving at the local rat guard in passing.

Standing there beneath the massive mechanical array, she consumed the vampyr's flesh, her jaw working hard to break it down before she swallowed. Already, a wave of warmth and strength shifted through her body, followed by a small flood of emotion tied to Tasia.

"I need to be strong enough," Dana muttered as she picked up the broken gear. "Just in case she needs me." Looking up at the array again, she felt that trickle of warmth pass through her whole body in a chain reaction. Gazing at the machine above as if it was a field of stars, she dropped the gear on the ground and let out a gasp. She felt her mind shifting through the assembly, making connections and insights that had eluded her before. A mental overlay formed, allowing her to see how the mechanism was originally designed and how it could be improved. Revelations and excitement built as she clasped her hands to her chest.

"We've been building it wrong," she said as she walked over to the master diagram. Though her and Tink's design made sense mechanically, there was something they had missed, something far more abstract about the way the observatory had been built. A light bulb had finally turned on inside her brain, sparking to life just long enough to chase away the darkness.

Humming a quiet song to herself, Dana threw the master diagram on the floor and got to work creating a new design.

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Legion sat near the back of the airport bar, casually stirring her cocktail while glancing through her phone. There still wasn't any word about the church incident in the mainstream media, which meant somebody had covered it up. The demon chalked that up to the Order. Somehow, they had gotten involved, and Legion would put good money that the Curator's lackey was responsible. With the Curator's own involvement, it would be far easier to erase any incriminating details from the inside.

Sighing, Legion sat back and surveyed the bar. It was late, and only a couple more flights were leaving. The patrons of this establishment ranged from businessmen to a small family just trying to catch a bite to eat. Legion's own flight had been canceled earlier in the day, but that's just how life went when you relied on humans. Luckily, there had been one more flight later in the evening and Legion could be very persuasive.

Closing her eyes, Legion reached out to the other people with her mind to see if she could glean anything interesting. Other than a couple of people cheating on their spouses, there was nothing noteworthy. Sometimes, humans could be so boring.

With all of her extra bodies gone, Legion had to exercise an enormous amount of caution from here on out. Deacon had been the perfect minion, not only providing Legion with a young, healthy body, but also allowing the demon to hide in plain sight. After centuries of living as a human, Legion had learned quickly that her own personal pride required tempering, and that survival was paramount to any and all of her plans. Returning to Hell now would earn Lucifer's personal attention, and would likely require Legion to spill the beans on how she'd come close to succeeding in her quest to return to Heaven.

This thought angered Legion enough that a shadow in the corner of the room growled in response. Though it was little more than a physical manifestation of the demon's wrath, it had been loud enough that others heard it. A couple of patrons looked at the corner with curiosity, but quickly turned away once there was nothing to be seen. Frowning, Legion took a few deep breaths in order to calm herself. Once she was out of the country, she could take the next step toward rebuilding, but was uncertain where to find somebody nearly as useful as Deacon had been.

One by one, the patrons left. There were only a few people left in the bar, and many of the nearby gates had gone dark. Legion faded into the scenery to the point that even some of the servers in the restaurant had forgotten about the young woman sitting there.

It was about twenty minutes before Legion's flight started boarding when she heard a deep voice speak from nearby.

"May I join you?" A massive figure stepped from the shadows and slid into the seat across from her, then took off his hat and set it on the table.

Legion frowned, but said nothing. Despite cutting and dying her hair, as well as wearing a provocative outfit, she knew that no disguise in the world could have hidden her from the Curator himself.