Dear John

byBelle_Ringer©

Dear John:

What to say to you now? We came so close to everything and now we seem to have nothing. You only work an office away, and I see you walk by to go for coffee or when you have to use the color printer down the hall, but you look at me so differently. A month ago, when you would have walked by there would have been a secret smile that would have warmed my heart. I would know the other girls would be watching you but you would have that smile for me, and it made me feel so sexy and alluring.

Now, you walk by and see me looking at you and you shake your head, looking at your feet, as though under your breath you are questioning what you ever saw in me. Can that possibly be true? I know you like my body and I am in even better shape than I was before we happened. I thought men were so focused on that. How can I have turned you on so much only six weeks ago and now you don't want me at all? It's enough to send a girl back off her diet and exercise program.

I am trying to be respectful of your decision. But it is so hard. The girls in the office know how I feel about you, at least on a surface level. They have heard me talk about your strong arms and shoulders, seen me sneak looks at your buns when you have taken off your suit jacket. Since you thrust me away, they have seen me trying to hide my face when I felt the tears were going to come. They have heard my sighs, noticed my lack of jokes, and it is impossible for me to keep everything from them. So I have told them that you don't seem to want to talk to me anymore, and that we will not be doing lunches, or taking our 3 p.m. daily trip to Starbucks. They don't know how rarely we made it to the coffee shop.

Perhaps I have made an inappropriate joke with a client or two, or perhaps one of the girls that work in your office has told you how I asked if you seemed mad at me. But you have cut me off from honest information about yourself, so what's a girl to do if not ask her girlfriends?

I think you even expect it. You said as much when I got mad at Jill for telling you how I was feeling on the day you took me to have our little talk. I hate that restaurant now, by the way. I am so glad we didn't go someplace with happier memories.

I don't know how to feel about you now John. I still want you. I want to come upon you in a back hallway, push you into a supply closet, go down on my knees and pull your zipper down and thrust your cock into my mouth. No man refuses a blow job, right? Would you look down at me the way you have before? Would your eyes light with that hungry fire as I lick the underside of your prick and circle my tongue around the head? I want to hear the jingle of your belt as you unbuckle it, move the fine wool of your pants down over your hips to fall in a black puddle as my hands grip the cheeks of your bubble butt and I take your hardening cock in deep. I want to feel it push against the back of my throat and I want to hear your gasp of pleasure as I let it slide into my throat. I want to make the noises to let you know how yummy it is to me, the ones I first made that night in your truck as you drove along and tried to concentrate. The ones that made you pull over to the side of the road.

I want to take my hand and place it below my mouth on your shaft, starting long and slow and bobbing more quickly. I want to feel you get harder when I look up and make eye contact with you. I want you to watch me jerk your cock into my mouth until I feel it start to pulse and then I'll stick out my tongue and open wide while you watch. When the first drops of your cum start I'll thrust you back inside me to catch it all so there is no mess. When your hips stop fucking my mouth and you begin to breath more normally, I will let you slide out and then look up. I'll stick my tongue out to show you the cum and then I will noisily swallow it. I love the way you taste just as much now as I did the first time I ever tasted you. I'll lick my fingers to get every drop.

Wouldn't you like that? Don't you still want me that way? After how you told me I was so good at it, after you said my name between gasping breaths?

Oh, John! How can you do this? You can't possibly have changed the way you feel so quickly in a vacuum. Is this about her? Did your wife figure something out? Or is it even worse? Is there a replacement for me in your life? Not your wife, but another "other woman"?

Tell me what to do, and I will do it. I will be your servant, at your disposal. Use me in any way you want and I will agree to it, just don't push me out of your life. I will accept the smallest of roles, the most insignificant of parts. Just kiss me every once in a while and stop hiding from me the gift of your smile. Slap or pinch my ass if we are walking alone, slide your hand under my skirt in the empty elevator. Leave me giggling like a schoolgirl as you walk to your car in the parking garage without a backwards glance, off to fuck your wife and pretend that she is me.

I'll do anything to keep my little piece of you. You claim to be so selfish. Prove it. Keep me while you can. You know I won't tell her, won't ever have the guts to make that call. Besides, her first call would me to my husband anyway. I can't ruin you without ruining me too. So keep me. I'll be happy to give you a hand job at lunch, to flash you my tits in the break room. I will be your outlet for your desires, the one you use to keep yourself in check. I don't mind. I want whatever part of you I can have.

You don't have to buy me flowers or jewels. I know that your wife comes first always. I accept that. Just don't do this. I can't have you hate me, John. I just can't.

Love,

Belle

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