Death, Taxes, and Change

He looked over at her, and Stephanie noticed that his eyes looked so alive, and she wondered if he was always this positive and...focused. She would have said 'intense', but he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

"I'll finish by saying that I don't know what happens at the quantum level, and even the experts would likely admit they only know a fraction of what goes on there, but for everything else, it's all in a state of change moving inexorably toward greater entropy. Perhaps the quarks that form the basis of all matter somehow go on forever, but I can't speak to that."

He looked her way, smiled again, then said, "And with that, I really am done."

"Why aren't you a college professor or a theoretical physicist or something?" Stephanie asked.

"I could tell you, but after all that, I don't want to bore you to death."

"You're not. At all."

Initially he kind of had been, but now she was actually interested in hearing more.

"Okay, but stop me anytime your eyes start glazing over."

She laughed and promised she would.

"Math and science were always my favorite subjects in school. Because my family had a business, I was expected to contribute as soon as I was old enough, so I'd come in with my dad after I turned 12 and did more and more until I turned 16 and could drive. I continued to love the sciences, but I also liked learning how the business worked. When I get into something I tend to really get into it, and I can be rather, um, detailed and...meticulous."

He laughed then said, "That's Caleb-speak for anal."

Stephanie's eyes opened wide as she laughed.

"I learned everything about the towing business. Payroll, hiring, firing, city permits, registrations, certification, laws, etc. I made up this extensive binder that I still have."

"So you're...detail oriented."

"I like your words better, but mine also works," he said with a warm smile and another chuckle.

"My father insisted I go to college, so I did, and I loved it. I majored in engineering because it was a perfect blend of the theoretical and the practical. And then, to make what could be an extremely long story short...my dad died unexpectedly."

"I'm so sorry, Caleb."

"Thank you. Anyway, I came home to help my mom only to find out that she and my dad wanted me to run the business. So as I always do, I dove back in like a madman."

"Another binder?" she teased but politely.

"I just added to the big, original one. Now it's really big."

She laughed and realized she was thoroughly enjoying herself and forgot all about her car until he told her they were almost there.

"Which means you will be half way to escaping from my nonstop droning on about things you never wanted to know."

She smiled at him and said, "I kind of like listening to your droning."

He laughed and said, "Ah, shucks, ma'am. That's right kind'a you."

His southern accent was perfect and made her laugh yet again.

He took the next exit then came back to her vehicle and pulled up in front of it then backed the tow truck up.

"Okay. We'll have your car in the back here in no time."

He looked her way then said, "Do you want to run the hydraulic lift?"

"What? NO! I...I don't how to do anything in here."

"It's simple. The wheel lift attaches to the tow truck and the crossbars slip under the front or rear wheels of a car to lift it up. From there it's just a push of a button and it'll be up on the ramp in no time."

"So it's not actually being towed?"

"Nope. More like being taken for a ride."

He was smiling so broadly that she smiled. When he wriggled his eyebrows again she laughed.

"What if I break something?"

"No worries. I'll call a tow truck," he told her as he hopped out and went to take a look at the front of her car.

Stephanie hadn't felt this good in months, and it reminded her of what she was missing and what was important in life. With any luck she might just be able to find that special someone once she got settled in. And with her friend working in real estate where one met new people every day, it shouldn't be that hard to find an honest, decent, reasonably attractive man.

As she thought about the future she also thought about the past and how she'd been betrayed by a man no one even suspected was a ped...she couldn't even say the word. Her thoughts were interrupted when Caleb hopped back up in the cab.

"Miss me?" he asked with a laugh.

"Terribly," she teased, laughing again herself and forgetting about perverse things.

"Okay. The car's ready. Are you ready?"

With the push of a button the ramp went down. With another the car was pulled up onto it, and then the first one brought the ramp back into position, and her car was ready to go.

"Wow. You're a fast learner," Caleb told her, his ever-present smile shining brightly.

"Yeah. I can push a button with the best of 'em," she told him very seriously before laughing one more time.

On their way back into town they talked about simpler things like hobbies and movies and other things Stephanie felt comfortable with, and she was pleasantly surprised to learn that they had quite a bit in common. Except for science which she shunned because she was so bad at it.

Caleb was positive and upbeat, and yet he had a thoughtful, quiet side to him she found endearing. He was what a friend of hers used to call a "package deal" as he had looks, personality, charisma, intelligence and charm all rolled into one.

But none of that could change the fact that he was just 22 years old, a fact that caused her a brief moment of chagrin.

Just before they pulled into the Audi dealership Caleb asked her if she was hungry. She was beyond hungry but only told him she could probably eat.

"May I take you to lunch?"

Stephanie looked at the digital clock in the tow truck then said, "It's about that time, isn't it?"

Caleb nodded but told her, "It is, and while I'm getting hungry, the truth is I've enjoyed talking with you so much that the real reason I'm asking is because I'd like to spend more time with you whether it's lunch, dinner, or just talking some more."

His comment not only caught her off guard it was also another pleasant surprise.

"I...okay. I'd like that," she told him although she assumed it really was just about the conversation although his comment made her wonder if there was possibly more to it.

The only downside to talking with him was that was that she couldn't contribute when Caleb started talking about anything scientific or philosophical. Even so, she had been enjoying their conversation about everything else, and it wasn't like she had to be somewhere at a particular time.

"Great. Let me tell the service guys I'm here, and we'll get your car offloaded and be on our way."

Caleb hopped out, and before he got to the front of the truck an employee came out to meet him. His window was down, and Stephanie could hear them reasonably well.

"Caleb! How goes it?" the other, older man said as they shook hands.

"Great, Ken. Got some business for you."

The other man looked at the model of the car and shook his head as a year-old Audi shouldn't be in the shop. It happened, but it didn't happen very often.

"Okay. You know where to drop it, so just pull around and I'll meet you there."

"Oh, Ken? This customer is special, so take good care of her car, all right?"

He looked up into the cab and saw why this particular customer was special and smiled.

"Ah, okay. We'll do that," Ken told him before saying, "Isn't she a little out of your league?"

The compliment made her feel good, but what Caleb said in response was even better, even though she thought that perhaps she was out of his, at least in terms of looks. She was an attractive woman, but he was pretty much...gorgeous. Maybe even 'yummy'.

"She is, but I'm gonna do everything I can to show her I can play in the big leagues."

Ken chuckled and told him, "Good luck!"

As he hopped back up next to Stephanie he told her they were all set, unaware that she'd overheard everything. She only smiled in response, but she wasn't really paying attention as she found herself wondering for the first time what it would be like to be with someone his age. Her mind rapidly ran through several scenarios from dating to lovemaking to marriage and children before asking herself, "What if it wasn't some generic man his age but actually...him?"

Then she heard herself asking, "Oh, wow. If it really was him, what will people say when they find out the man you're with is 22 years old and you're getting close to turning 37?"

It was almost enough to make her reconsider his offer, but she reminded herself that it was just lunch and not a wedding proposal. So why then did it hint to her that there were a lot worse things it could think of as if this was a mistake of some kind? She had no answer and didn't really care. She liked talking with him, and her stomach let her know it had been many hours since she last ate.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked after noticing that her demeanor had changed.

"No. Everything's fine."

So why was she so torn about agreeing to go with him if everything really was fine?

The service department got Stephanie's car onto a rack before they left the parking lot, and Caleb let her know that a friend of his was taking a personal interest in the repair.

"Was that the man you were talking to?"

"Yes. Ken Parkin. He and my dad were friends. Why?"

"Oh, no reason," she said as she tried to smile.

"Have you heard of The Shed?" Caleb asked, taking her at her word that she was okay.

"A shed?" she asked, knowing she was missing someone.

He chuckled politely then explained it was the name of a restaurant on Palace Avenue.

"They have THE best blue-corn burrito on planet earth," he told her with so much enthusiasm she forgot about her internal strife.

"That sounds great," she replied with a lot less enthusiasm but with a warm smile.

Thinking he understood the problem, Caleb said, "Stephanie, I can stop by the house and get my car if you don't want to be seen pulling up in a tow truck."

He looked over at her and smile again.

"No. Don't do that. This will be just fine."

"Really? It's not embarrassing for you?"

"No. Not at all. You make a living with it, and so did your father, right?"

"That's how I see it, but I'm a bit of an odd duck," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I'm with you on that," she replied before quickly adding, "not the odd duck part. On the it's fine to use the tow truck part."

He smiled again, but this time it was different. It was warm and personal and Stephanie could almost feel it. Again, she looked at him and wondered why she was even interested in spending more time with him. He was nice for sure. And handsome? Most definitely. But was that it? Or was she just so lonely that any decent looking, reasonably nice guy would be good enough? But good enough for what?

"All right. The tow truck it is."

He looked her way then said, "You're my kind of g...woman, Stephanie," an even bigger smile on his extremely attractive face.

Unable to resolve her internal conflict, she told herself it was just lunch with a very nice, much-younger man, and there was nothing wrong with being thankful for his help or even for wanting to get to know him better.

The Shed was actually a bit like a shed in that in had a very welcoming, rustic feel to it. They were met by a hostess who was very pleasant, and once they placed their order Stephanie asked him to tell her more about his take on 'the whole change thing'.

Even as she said she felt...inadequate...again, but there was nothing about the way he responded that made her feel like that, and that...made her able to relax. And once she relaxed, she found that she could see him differently in a way that made him so much more than his age. She even tried telling herself he was 40 as he certainly knew more than her about everything they discussed. Or rather that he discussed as she listened.

"You sure want to get me started?" he asked, the same caring smile still there.

"I am. I'd like to know more."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

The next half hour was one of the most interesting of her life. That fascinated her, because in the absence of this new attitude or feeling, the topic would have put her to sleep. But she did, as the song said, 'have a new attitude', and his take on how literally nothing lasts forever, and most things not even for a lifetime, fascinated her. That was true mostly because it was something she'd never thought of before, and yet as he provided examples for everything he said, she realized he was making perfect sense.

"So not even love?" she asked early on.

"Sadly, not even love. Relationships end. All of them. Some by choice, some by disagreement, and some by death. I'm sure that sounds pessimistic, but trust me, I'm not a pessimist. I am, however, a realist, and I've never known of a relationship to outlive death. Which sounds macabre, so I'll quit."

"No. Don't. Please keep talking. I've never actually thought about any of this, but I've always had this suspicion that nothing is ever perfect. Well, it isn't, of course, but it's the best my...addled brain can come up with when something bad happens."

And he did keep talking. And as he did, Stephanie's feelings about him...changed even more. How could someone so young be so smart? No, he wasn't just smart, Caleb was...wise. A lot of people were smart and many had multiple degrees, but they couldn't apply their knowledge which was what wisdom was supposed to be. So far, Caleb Freeman might just be the wisest person she'd ever known, her dear mother whom she loved so much, aside. Even there, her mother's wisdom was the kind that people called 'common sense' as they learned life lessons over the years then passed them on to their children.

They both passed on dessert, but when the check came Stephanie asked him to let her pay for her meal. He gave her a look that said, "Not a chance," then told her just as much.

"There is no way I would ever ask a beautiful woman to go anywhere with me and let her pay. And if she demanded to on some kind of...feminist principle...I'd still refuse and never see her again."

"So you're not a feminist, I take it," she said without judgment one way or the other.

"I believe I am. I want equal pay for equal work and I want women to be able to do anything their hearts desire. I just don't like the aspect of the movement that says, you know, men are nothing but...."

He leaned closer then whispered, "Sperm donors."

"No! Me, either," she said immediately.

"I love and respect women," he said. "I guess I'm old fashioned, but I saw the way my mom and dad loved each other, and that's someone I very much want. Equal partners with different roles."

He paused then asked, "Is that weird?"

"Weird? No. Not at all. I love the way you put that, and that's exactly what I want, too. Very much so."

"Pardon me for asking, but have you ever been married?"

He saw her hesitation then apologized for being nosy.

"No. It's okay. It's just that my marriage was...it was very painful."

"Stephanie, it's none of my business, and you don't need to say anything else. Really."

"No, I want to, it's just that my situation was...."

She searched for the right word and came up with 'horrific'.

"That's awful," Caleb told her. "But let's just go ahead and go, shall we?"

Stephanie agreed, but when they got back in the truck, the mood was so different she found herself wanting and even needing to explain.

"My...the man I married had this...secret."

"You don't have to tell me any of this."

"I want to. I've never talked about it with anyone but my mom and my attorney, but...."

She laid out the entire story in less than two minutes as Caleb listened in stunned silence.

When she finished she finally looked over at him and saw a tear in his eye.

"I can't tell you how bad I feel for you," he said. "That took a lot of courage."

He looked and her then asked, "Are you okay?"

"I am. I think talking about it or just telling someone helped."

He reached over and put his hand on hers which was in her lap. Rather than recoil or even flinch she found it to be....

Again, she searched for the right word, and this time she came up with 'wonderful'. She not only let him do that, she unlaced her fingers and put hers in his.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm really glad you're moving here to Santa Fe," he told her sincerely.

"I am, too," she said almost absentmindedly as she looked down at the large, masculine hand holding hers, unable to take her eyes off of it.

She ended her stare when Caleb said something that demanded her attention.

"Stephanie, I'd really like to see you again."

He looked at her then asked, "Would that be okay?"

"I...Caleb, I...."

As she tried to sort through her feelings he told her it was okay.

"I know I'm...younger than you, but I really like you, Stephanie. A lot. And I think there are more important things in a relationship than age."

She almost said, "Name one," but that's not what her heart was feeling. It was what her brain was telling her, but it wasn't what she wanted.

"I...agree," she heard herself say as he squeezed her hand.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I know it's important, but aren't other things more important?" she asked almost rhetorically.

"In my mind, yes. Lot's of things matter more than that. And if we have as much in common as it feels like we do, then why let one variable decide everything?"

"I should tell you that I'm still married. Legally. But the divorce should be final in the next two months or so."

"Thank you for telling me that, but with your situation, being married is really more of a technicality."

"Yes. Exactly. I have no feelings for him whatsoever."

She thought for a moment then said, "Other than disdain maybe."

From their less serious talk earlier that day Caleb knew she liked to play tennis.

"How would you like to get together Sunday morning for some tennis?"

"I...I'd love to. It's just that I haven't played in so long I don't think I'd be very good competition for you."

Caleb had to turn, so he let go of her hand as he laughed.

"I don't want to compete with you. I want you to play doubles with me against my mom and her friend, Angie."

"I might be more of a handicap than a help," she warned, a happy smile on her pretty face.

He looked at her as long as he could then told her, "You're so beautiful and even more so when you smile."

Stephanie's heart melted when he said that, and that's when she decided that young or not, she wanted to see if there was more to their budding relationship than she already knew was there. Sure, she'd only known him for a few hours, but he was so different than any man she'd ever met, and the 'different' was all good.

"You're not so bad yourself," she told him, wondering if he knew she felt like it was her that wasn't in his league where looks were concerned.

They were getting close to the shop when his phone rang.

"Ken? What's the verdict?" Caleb said, keeping the phone on speaker.

"It's a bad O2 sensor. We just replaced it--under warranty--and you can tell the beautiful lady she can come get her car, but let her know she REALLY needs an old change and a tire rotation. It's like sludge in there."

"Do 'em both," Caleb told her as he saw Stephanie waving her arms as she couldn't afford to do that.

"Okay. We'll be done in about 20 minutes."

"Thanks, Ken!"

"You got it."

When the call ended Stephanie began pleading her case.

"Ken owes me. Big time. And even if he didn't, you can't keep driving without changing your oil unless you want even bigger problems."

"I...it's just that money is a little tight right now."