Deep Dive Pt. 06

Author's note: This shorter piece flows directly from Deep Dive (Part 5), and actually concludes the Mendocino sequence. It will make a lot more sense if you read Part 5 first.

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It was morning now, around 7 a.m.

While Kate, Jacob and Megan slept, I'd gone back into the house, quietly grabbed a jacket and some boots, and headed off for a pre-dawn walk in the Mendocino Headlands.

Three hours later, trudging along the cliffs in the early light, I was no closer to understanding why I felt so conflicted about Kate.

I did know I was feeling both happy, and pissed off.

Happy, because I'd never met anyone else remotely like her. She was so... incandescent.

Pissed off, because my feelings for her were deepening, and I was starting to question her need for other sexual partners. Particularly other men.

You're such a fucking idiot, I thought to myself. You had no problem with Michelle, but can't handle Jacob. Jesus, boy - get it together.

Pushing back, Pissed-off Me flashed an image from earlier that night: not of Kate eagerly riding Jacob's cock, but of the two of them lying on the couch afterwards, tenderly entwined with each other, sound asleep.

Something just didn't feel right, and I was at a loss for answers. Frustrated, I turned back towards the cottage.

The sun was glowing faintly in the east, rising in the mist. A foghorn sounded in the distance. Other than that: silence.

Stepping up on the front porch, I paused, took a deep breath, and opened the front door. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see. And I wasn't expecting what I found.

Barefoot, in fitted blue jeans and a white Aran sweater, Kate sat alone in the centre of the couch, staring at the fireplace. The logs had burned down to embers now, and they glowed only faintly in the watery morning light.

Megan and Jacob were nowhere to be seen. They've already left, I thought. I hadn't expected that. Usually, our guests stayed at least until breakfast.

She looked silently at me as I stepped into the room. For the very first time in our relationship, I could see that she'd been crying. I was lost for something to say.

She looked at me with an expression I'd never seen before. She almost seemed... abandoned.

"Heyyy," she said softly. "Glad you're back... I was worried when I found you gone." She stopped for a moment, struggling to collect her thoughts. After a few seconds of silence, she asked quietly, "Do you want to talk?"

"Not sure," I answered, not really taking the time to consider my options. "Not sure..." I repeated quietly. "No... probably not now," I finished.

I walked over to the kitchen, filled the kettle, and put it on the stove.

"Coffee?"

"Maybe tea?" Kate countered.

"Sure." I pulled together the fixings for a pot of strong English tea, and then stood silently at the stove, staring vacantly at the kettle, waiting for it to whistle.

"It won't boil while you watch it, you know," Kate said quietly from right behind me.

I turned to find her standing only two feet away, looking at me almost anxiously. I hated seeing her this way. My heart cracked, and then I rallied, pushing back. "If only..." I said, a sliver of anger creeping into my voice.

"Mmmm," Kate said, looking up at me, more distant now. "Okay..."

I flushed, caught up in my own confusion. Not wanting to take the conversation any further, I turned away to make the tea. This is not going well, I mused.

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Two hours later, we were back on the highway, heading north in the mist. We stopped briefly in Fort Bragg to grab two espressos and some croissants, and then booted on up the coast towards Rockport.

The weather was almost a complete reversal from yesterday. Now foggy and grey, the ocean and hills were nearly invisible. We drove wordlessly, the top up, no music playing. Kate sat silently in the passenger seat, gazing off into the distance with a defeated look on her face.

After what seemed like an eternity, she reached out her hand, and placed it gently on my right leg. She left it there until we passed Rockport and turned inland towards Leggett.

She pulled her hand away. "Let's just go home," she said suddenly. "Please... I want to go home now."

I looked over at her, nodded, and silently recalibrated our route back to Vancouver. We wouldn't be taking the coast road after all.

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Around 6 p.m., after speeding up Interstate 5, we arrived in Portland. Our plan was to stay there for the night, and then head directly on to Vancouver the next day.

We'd said very little during the nine-hour drive. Both of us had remained lost in thought, deeply unsure about what to say next.

We rented a room in a pricey boutique hotel in downtown Portland. Given the untethered state of things, the place seemed way over the top. The trip wasn't supposed to end this way, I sighed to myself.

After unpacking her small overnight bag, Kate announced that she wasn't hungry, and was going to turn in early.

Welcoming some time alone, I nodded, changed, and went out on my own for a drink and some food. I was feeling way off balance at that point, not quite believing that things could unravel as quickly as they had.

At around 9 p.m., I was back in our room. Kate was now sound asleep in bed. Curled up into a tight, protected ball, her face still looked strained. If she'd had a thumb in her mouth, she would have looked like a little girl lost in a dark dream.

I showered, and then crawled into bed on the other side, assuming the same foetal position as Kate, but facing the wall instead of the window. I felt knocked out from the emotional turmoil, the ten-hour drive, and the late meal. I dropped off to sleep within seconds.

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I woke, not sure what time it was. It was still night outside.

In her sleep, Kate had moved up behind me to her usual position. She loved to nestle close and spoon into me from behind. I could hear the relaxed sound of her breathing. She smelled like lavender, and mint.

I lay there in the dark for what seemed like hours, not moving, not wanting her to move. Even lying so closely together, I felt her pending absence. A sharp sense of loss washed over me, and I curled up even tighter, fighting it down.

I was no longer treading water in the deep end - I was sinking.

Kate woke as I struggled internally, sensing that something was deeply wrong. Her left hand moved around to my chest, and came to rest over my pounding heart.

"Ssshhhh," she soothed. "Its okay, love... sshhhhh."

She nuzzled her face into my neck, and kissed me gently behind the ear. Her hand moved over my chest in a calming, circular motion.

Slowly, my sense of panic began to subside. I was confused by the whole experience. I'd never - ever - had an anxiety attack before. Now I knew what they felt like, and I didn't like it one bit. Loss of control was anathema to me.

A few minutes later, my breathing almost back to normal, Kate and I finally talked.

As we lay spooned together, I confessed that I was having serious trouble separating sex from sentiment.

As my feelings had grown for her, so too had my difficulty watching her with other people. Particularly other men. "I thought I'd mastered this," I told her, "Until I saw you with Jacob."

"Why Jacob?" Kate asked, genuinely perplexed. "I could understand it better if you had problems with Michelle - I mean, I actually fell in love with her. But Jacob? He was a nice guy, perfect for a fun one-nighter, just like the others. End of story."

As she spoke, she triggered more memories from the night before: Kate buck-naked with her legs wrapped around Jacob's hips, riding his shaft for all she was worth. My own cock stirred at the image. No, I pleaded with it. Please. Stay down.

As usual, my prick paid absolutely no attention to me, and was soon waving stiffly under the sheets. I lay there thinking about how absurd this all was - my jealousy of Jacob clashing up against the absolute turn-on of watching Kate fuck him. I had the emotions of a lover, and the needs of a voyeur. I shook my head, amazed at how conflicted the mind could be.

Sensing my change in mood, Kate stopped hugging me, and swung herself up on to my chest, pushing me over on my back at the same time.

She sat, her legs straddling me. Smiling uncertainly, she reached her hands out and placed them gently on my shoulders.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

"Mmm," I replied.

"Julian... please... get this straight," she said, looking at me intently. "Ethan... Jacob... Jenna... they've all been fun. The thrill of the chase. But they're not you. You are something else altogether. They are the people I get to play with. You are the person I want to grow old with."

I watched her, trying to work through what she was saying. It felt reassuring on the one hand, but so open-ended on the other.

"But... I don't want to grow any older today, okay?" she continued, smiling tenderly at me. "Can we just feel young again for a bit?" She ground herself on my chest, teasing me.

My gaze travelled from her blue eyes down her neck to her perfectly shaped breasts. Her nipples were hard, and her areolas puckered with excitement.

Her belly was tight, with well-defined muscles, and her cunt, now only inches away from my chin, was exquisite. A neatly-trimmed, hazel-coloured bush framed her clit and labia perfectly. Sitting astride me, her slit was open ever so slightly, glistening in anticipation.

"Closer," I said, looking between her legs, and then back up at her.

She scooted further up my chest and leaned forward, grabbing the top of the headboard. Her breasts now dropped down seductively over me, and her stomach tensed once, then twice, involuntarily. The subtle, musky scent of her sex flowed up over me, and my cock positively sang under the sheets.

"Closer," I said again, hoarsely.

Her pussy was now almost at my lips. I gazed at her clit as it poked out from beneath its hood. My hands reached up to grip her hips, and I pulled her towards my mouth. I reached out the tip of my tongue and, with a feathery lightness, flicked it over her bud.

She shuddered, and let out a small moan.

"Ahh, Julian..." she whispered, her voice quavering.

I swirled my tongue down between her swollen lips, slipping it gently into her vagina, breathing in her unique scent. Like no other woman, I thought to myself once again, marvelling at how sweet she tasted.

Growing more excited, Kate pressed herself down on my mouth, seeking more of my tongue. I obliged, and thrust it as far into her as I could.

"Ah fuccckkk," she breathed, and began gently grinding herself on my face. "More. Deeper."

As I continued tonguing her, I moved my right hand around to her mound. Stretching out my thumb, I circled it gently around her clit.

Her soft moans shifted up to steady panting. I ground my thumb firmly against her swollen nub. "Huh... huh... huhh..." she grunted, moving rapidly towards orgasm.

Just before she came, she abruptly stopped, pulling her pussy up and away from my mouth.

Turning rapidly around on my chest with her back now towards me, she slid down my body until her cunt was positioned just above my achingly hard prick. She leaned away gracefully over my legs, fully exposing herself. I was mesmerized, suddenly realizing that this show was all for me.

Raising herself higher, she gripped my shaft, and started sliding it slowly between her labia, then up to her clit, and then down towards her waiting vagina. She expertly slid its head into position, and then pressed herself down with a smooth backwards motion. My cock simply disappeared inside her, slipping in effortlessly. I was now completely engulfed by her warmth.

"Ah Christ..." she groaned, facing away from me, sitting as still as a statue on my waist. I studied her back, her tanned, flawless skin now glimmering with sweat. Slowly, she clenched her legs and lifted herself up almost all the way off my cock, then eased herself back down, and then rose again. Her fluids coated my shaft. I was hypnotized by the rhythmic rise and fall of her hips, and the sight of my cock sliding in and out of her opening.

Leaning further away from me, she placed her hands on the bed, and began riding my prick in earnest. I reached out, twirling my thumb over the bud of her ass, waiting for it to relax. It did, slowly unclenching, almost seeking my finger. I gently eased my thumb into her tightness, and began matching her cadence as she rode my cock.

She made a thin wailing sound as her climax approached. "Now... now... my ass... please... my ass," she muttered, and then pulled rapidly up off my prick. Sitting straight up, she reached behind herself and grabbed hold of me again, rubbing my slick glans over her asshole. Already distended from my thumb, it opened further and slowly enveloped the head of my cock. Raising my hips upwards, I eased myself further in, stopping about half-way, not wanting to hurt her. I was so close to coming - I didn't think I could last another few seconds.

"Gently... gently," she murmured. She slid her left hand up her leg to her mound. I could feel her ease two fingers into her vagina and begin thrusting them slowly. Pressing the heel of her palm against her clit, she started grinding herself as we slow-fucked.

"Gonna cum... soon... uhhh... uh-huh..." she huffed, her head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, hair whipping around her shoulders as she slid her ass up and down my shaft.

Unable to restrain myself any longer, I thrust into her. She cried out, half in pleasure and half in pain, as I entered her more deeply. "Easy... easy... yes... yes..." she moaned, now right on the edge.

A white flare went off behind my eyes, and the pressure in my balls suddenly gave way. I let loose a low, animal groan, and squirted deep inside her - warm, and copious. I seemed to come forever, shuddering again and again.

As I loosed into her, she lost all control, and screamed with her own release, sounding almost like someone bereft. Pushing down hard on my cock, she took me deeper into her ass than ever before. I could feel her sphincter squeezing me as she came - clenching, unclenching - while a warm flood of liquid squirted forcefully from her cunt, soaking her hand, my waist, and the bed beneath us.

Slowly, her spasms eased, and she lazily draped herself down over my legs, still panting rapidly.

Little by little, my cock softened inside her.

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It was now daybreak, and the dark skies had barely lightened over Portland. It was going to be a rainy drive home.

Kate lay curled up in my arms, now sound asleep, no longer wearing the troubled look of yesterday.

I lay, staring out the window, struggling to make sense of the past few days. I still wasn't having much luck with that, but took heart in the fact that I was at least feeling more grounded than yesterday.

Anything would have been more grounded than that, my inner voice muttered.

Slowly easing my arm out from beneath Kate, I sat up on the side of the bed, stretched, and then stood. So... what direction now? I asked myself. Keep going, or walk away?

I looked down at Kate, now totally at peace, slumbering on the bed. My heart skipped, and then settled again.

No longer sinking, I kicked back towards the surface.