Dennis Inn

What we're doing right now isn't dangerous for me. If you think it is for you and want to stop, no hard feelings.

EverybodyWantsSome: What we're doing right now isn't dangerous for me. And, no, I don't want to stop. So no need for any hard feelings.

I've grown quite fond of you, as the British say. I enjoy our interaction, both erotic and non-erotic, so I think I'll keep this up if you don't mind. And I'll leave it to your imagination just what I am keeping up.

I have held up pretty well for my age I guess and I am up at 5 every weekday (well, mostly) to work out, but I'm still over 40 so it's a struggle just to hold the line and I have skinny legs and knobby knees and my dick is 6 inches on a good day, so I'm not exactly this amazing hung stud.

Our connection has never been physical anyway, so I am not going to worry about it.

I think what we have going here is a pretty good meeting of the dirty minds that doesn't have to be more than this, I suppose. It is just nice to know that we aren't alone. Years of rejection and keeping things held inside can be pretty demoralizing. It can also make one feel as if it's somehow wrong to be this way. Talking to you makes me feel a whole lot better about that part of myself.

September 2016

Over the next few months, the subject of meeting in person lay tantalizingly just beneath the surface of our chats. The sense of possibility grew like a weed between the lines, sprouting through the cracks of white space to twine around the text and even occasionally flowering into words. It became a subtle and intricate dance, with each other and within ourselves - an agonizing push and pull of desire and frustration on the one hand and moral integrity on the other, the weight of the balance constantly in flux.

EverybodyWantsSome: So, we had sex last night, and it was okay, but we had a big fight afterwards. Well, more of a heated discussion than a fight, but it went on for over an hour. Basically, I had a hard time getting into it because it was the same old thing, and I wanted more than her just making herself available to me. I feel like we spent most of that hour talking past each other.

bored_and_old: Sorry to hear that. Was it the same deal where she cried and accused you of never being satisfied and was too defensive to really take in what you were saying?

EverybodyWantsSome: It started with her accusing me of "wanting to be anywhere else but here." Which is not true. I wanted to be there, I just wanted her to be into it too, and I was looking for some signal from her that she wasn't just waiting for me to start pleasing her so we could get it over with. She took it as me not being attracted to her and not really wanting to have sex with her. It went on and on. To her credit, she realizes she's being inconsistent and contradictory. When I exasperatedly said, "look, I just need to know how to act with you," she basically said she didn't know herself.

I've heard it said, when sex is great, it takes up maybe 10 percent of your relationship but when it's a problem it seems to take up 90 percent. Or something like that. The point is, it blows itself way out of proportion. There's a lot more to being married than sex, but without it, you don't have much of a marriage. It's the dismissive attitude about this fact that is so destructive.

bored_and_old: 10% vs. 90% seem about right, although 72% of statistics are made up on the spot. ;)

I guess the dismissive attitude is because some people are perfectly happy with a spouse who feels like a friend and roommate, but not a lover. I'm sure it's an arrangement that can work well if mutually agreed upon.

EverybodyWantsSome: I thought it was 71.5%...I think your math is off.

The problem with that arrangement is that it is typically arrived at unilaterally.

bored_and_old: Damn, I forgot to carry the 1!

Exactly. If you're going to arrive at that arrangement unilaterally, at least allow your spouse to outsource! Although I wonder if that ever actually works.

EverybodyWantsSome: I think outsourcing/cheating can be a temporary fix for some. I don't think it is healthy in the long term. It's just avoiding the issue and not solving any problems. It might get you through for a while but in the end the problems you're avoiding will continue to get worse. That said, it could be a good temporary solution, especially if it's something you think you can live with. I've considered it many times and decided I couldn't do it. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Hard to say. What I do know is that what I really want is for my marriage to thrive. There are certainly times when I want hot sex with a woman who is as into me as I am into her. Well, I want that all the time, actually. What I meant to say is there are times when that seems worth cheating for. The rest of the time it doesn't quite rise to that level.

bored_and_old: Avoidance, denial, and rationalization are so much easier than trying to fix something you suspect might be unfixable. If you're able to do those things well enough to keep yourself from feeling that you're miserable, then are you really miserable? Or are you better off even though you're not actually being "healthy" or solving the core problem? Does unacknowledged misery even matter ontologically? If something in your life can't be good, wouldn't you at least prefer it to feel good? In other words, does the end ever justify the means? Or does "truth" always take precedence over pragmatism? I'm having fun with unanswerable philosophical questions today.

EverybodyWantsSome: That made my head spin. Stop trying to make me think, dammit!

Hey, I'm not saying I'll never cheat. Just that I'd prefer not to when I look at it coolly and rationally. A little booze, the right situation and a very seductive woman who taps into my need to be devoured by a woman and I have little faith in my ability to maintain my convictions. Just sayin', if I had my druthers, that woman would be my wife.

bored_and_old: If you look at it coolly and rationally, you won't put yourself in situations that could lead to cheating. How likely are you to go out by yourself to a bar or something with no intention of breaking your convictions, and if you do that, how likely is it that a random seductive woman will approach and offer to devour you? Or maybe that happens to you a lot? I wouldn't know, I'm not the going to bars by myself type. I'm not the going out at all type, really, unless you count mom's night out and book club meetings. Not much opportunity there.

EverybodyWantsSome: I am rarely, very rarely, in situations where I might be tempted to violate my convictions. Doesn't mean it couldn't happen, though. I could also be hit and killed by a chunk of frozen pee from an airliner or win the lottery, assuming I played the lottery. There just aren't enough random seductive women in my life and the hot girl in my office who smiles at me all the time is probably just thinking "why is that old guy leering at me?"

bored_and_old: There aren't enough random seductive women in the world. It's a problem. Someone should found a charity.

Don't bang your coworker! It's never a good idea to fuck where you eat.

EverybodyWantsSome: Don't worry, I'm not going to bang my coworker. Well, not unless she corners me in the supply closet and reaches for my zipper. I really don't think I can be held accountable in those circumstances. However, if you have a better offer than a supply closet quickie, I'm all ears, so to speak.

bored_and_old: I believe I've made you several better offers. You never take me up on them. I suppose it's okay that you're all talk, though. I like the talk. ;)

EverybodyWantsSome: You have made me some excellent offers. When and where will you make good on them?

Oh, I'm definitely all talk. Right up until you're reaching for my zipper. Then I'm all boner. Seriously, though, the key to being all talk is not putting myself in a situation where a willing woman is reaching for my zipper. I am honest enough with myself to know I don't have the willpower to tell a woman who is smiling up at me with my cock in her hand to stop.

"For God's sake, woman, stop licking that precum from the tip of my engorged cock. I won't have it!"

Yeah, right.

bored_and_old: Haha, sounds like you have quite the non-consent fantasy there. Being taken against your will would certainly absolve you of moral responsibility. In real life, though, there's bound to be some lead-up to the unzipping and precum licking. You'll have many chances along the way to exercise your willpower before things go far enough that you can't. So you've answered your own question about when and where I'll make good on my offers: never, because you won't show if I name a time and place, and I'm not going to tie you up in the back of my van and have my way with you.

***

December 2016

I unlock my phone and send him a quick message with the room number. After pressing submit, I strip off my clothes and bundle them into my duffel bag and out of sight. Naked, I face the mirror above the dresser, which is tall enough to capture my reflection from the knees up. I am critical of the woman reflected there, of course. Her breasts are generous and full, with large, light-pink areolas surrounding slightly darker nipples, stiff and pebbled in the air-conditioned coolness. But they sag after two children and three cumulative years of breastfeeding, lying nearly flat at armpit level and rounding out midway to the navel. Beneath the navel, a fleshy pooch striped with stretch marks (more souvenirs of pregnancy), drooping over the shaved mound nestled between cellulite-streaked thighs. A mom bod indeed. But my face is bright and flushed, my eyes a striking blue surrounded by pale skin and dark hair. Almost pretty, I think with a start, and smile at myself.

I reach back into the duffel and pull out my new purchases - a red satin bustier trimmed with black lace, matching red and black thong, black thigh highs. I tighten the ribbons on the back of the bustier as far as I can, then lie on the bed and suck in my belly to hook the front together. I pull on the thong, then the stockings, then fasten the garters. Looking back in the mirror, I am pleased with the transformation. This woman is hot! Plump breasts pushed up and spilling enticingly over the lacy tops of the cups that can barely contain them. Waist pinched inward, hips curved outward, stretch marks and flab safely hidden under satin and lace. This will do.

I have to embrace my role. I know exactly what he wants, what he needs. A siren, a seductress. Someone who will let him have the illusion that he hasn't really made a choice. I'm prepared to shoulder all the responsibility for both of us. I can't erase his guilt, but I will spare him what I can.

***

October 2016

EverybodyWantsSome: I am on day 9 of no sex. I haven't even taken care of myself because I keep expecting her to offer sex and I want to be horny enough to overcome my building resentment so we don't have another fight. Next time I'm just flipping her over and grudge fucking her.

Today would be a great day for me to feed you my cock for lunch.

bored_and_old: That's the spirit, go for a good grudge fuck! She's got to make the offer tonight, right?

Mmm, cock for lunch. You'd have a nice big load for me too, wouldn't you?

EverybodyWantsSome: A huge load for you! I'm all backed up and well hydrated. It would splash against your tonsils. Oh, how I'd love to make you my cumslut...

Yeah, I think she'll offer tonight. She is literally out of excuses. If she doesn't offer tonight it just means she's avoiding sex and she won't let it get that far because she's afraid of something like my first paragraph above happening.

bored_and_old: I could dig being your cumslut. Maybe not while I'm wearing my work clothes, though...Would it be trashy to come back from my lunch break with sticky hair and cum stains on my skirt?

Do you think she's really afraid you'll cheat on her if she doesn't put out enough?

I feel fucking depressed today for some reason. Could be the weather. Could be the general suckiness of things. No sex for me in over a week either. Not that there's anything about it worth missing. I don't even bother initiating anymore.

EverybodyWantsSome: It would be trashy to go back to work with cum stains on your hair and skirt, but that's easily solved. First of all, I know you wouldn't waste a drop, so I am confident you'd do your best to swallow it all. And I wouldn't miss, so none of it would go in your hair.

I have the same depressed feeling today. I think we both need some hot, dirty, kinky sex to cheer us up.

And, yes, I do believe she's afraid that I will cheat if she doesn't put out. I think she's also just afraid to be a "bad wife."

bored_and_old: Oh yes, I'd do my best to swallow it all...well, maybe not all of it. I'd keep just a little in my mouth to share with you.

Yeah, hot, dirty, kinky sex sounds like just the thing to brighten a gloomy day. Too bad neither of us seems likely to get that, at least not from our spouses...

What would you like to do with me right now if you could?

She doesn't trust you much if she thinks you'll cheat after a week without sex, does she? Although maybe she's smart not to given the conversation we're having.

EverybodyWantsSome: You know, I've never actually had anyone share my cum with me like that before.

Hmmm...well, considering you don't seem to get it done much or done right, eating your pussy would be very high on my list. I'm a huge fan of 69, so we might have to do that so we both get what we want!

Yeah, trust is a huge problem in our marriage. Ironically, my constant desire for sex makes her fear I'll go elsewhere for it, and conversely, her lack of desire for it makes me wonder if she's getting it somewhere else. That she can't bring herself to address my needs beyond an arbitrary number of times per month just reinforces that.

bored_and_old: Yet another injustice I will have to remedy for you.

What's the appeal of 69 for you? Honestly, I find it distracting. I'd rather devote 100% of my attention to thoroughly worshipping your cock and balls.

It is pretty ironic that you distrust each other for opposite reasons. It's not really about sex, though, is it? You don't just want "more sex" - you want to feel desired and valued as a sexual partner. She doesn't just "not want sex" - she holds herself back from you and only makes grudging and insincere efforts to meet your needs. She won't admit it (maybe not even to herself), but she knows she's not giving you what you need and worries you'll find it somewhere else. You know she's holding back from you and worry that's because she's sharing herself with someone else.

Sorry if my psychoanalysis attempt is too presumptuous.

EverybodyWantsSome: Sadly, your psychoanalysis is dead on, at least as far as I understand her, and you've got me pegged.

Part of the appeal of 69 for me is that she gives the best head when she's turned on. If she sucked my cock like it was something she really wanted to do, I might enjoy that more. I would be more than happy to lie back and let you worship my cock.

bored_and_old: I guess that BA in psychology wasn't completely useless after all! What do you think of my online dirty talk therapy technique, btw? I realize it's cutting edge and controversial and probably wouldn't make it past the ethics board, but all pioneering geniuses of science have faced criticism in their time.

All right, let's start with you lying back (or standing up, however you like it) and letting me worship your cock. Then, should I succeed at my task, I will be sure to clean up thoroughly, catching every drop of cum in my mouth and saving some to share with you. At that point you may proceed to eat my pussy (with optional dildo add-on, as previously discussed). Do these terms sound agreeable to you? Shall I have my lawyer draw up the contract?

EverybodyWantsSome: You should open your own practice! I think you're on to something here. This is what psychotherapy has been missing all these years.

As for your offer, I heartily accept. And, bring the dildo because I'm definitely going to want do that! After sucking me like that you will definitely have earned the tongue/cock pleasuring of your life!

I feel less depressed already! Way hornier, though. I feel like my balls are going to explode if I don't cum in something soon!

bored_and_old: See? Dirty talk therapy works! Maybe you can go into practice with me!

The only potential drawback/side effect of treatment is the need to cum frequently in order to avoid Spontaneous Ball Explosion Syndrome (SBES). Patients whose spouses fail to accommodate this requirement are encouraged to visit their therapist on a regular basis to receive supplemental services.

EverybodyWantsSome: SBES...yes, I've heard of it. I'm dangerously close to it now, I think. I need an eager mouth to save me!

Fuck, I'm desperate for a blow job right now...

bored_and_old: Okay, don't panic. Panic can actually bring on SBES faster. There are some steps you can take to ward off an attack. First take some deep, calming breaths and find your center in the present moment. Maybe do something with crystals or some other new age-y shit. Next, focus on your surroundings. Are you in a safe and private location? If not, get to one immediately. Are you still with me? Balls still intact? Okay, good. Now you have a few options: 1) invite a trusted friend or therapist to perform a procedure to drain your balls of potentially volatile material; 2) perform such a procedure yourself, keeping in mind that in order to ensure maximum effectiveness said procedure should be filmed and the film sent to therapist for proper review.

EverybodyWantsSome: I don't think this is the kind of thing that can be handled with some amateurish self-help shit. I need a qualified therapist. You need to get your mouth on my cock stat! I need to pump my cum down your throat soon or the damage may be irreversible!

bored_and_old: You're right, I didn't realize your case had advanced so far! As your therapist, I am ethically bound to prevent you from experiencing SBES by putting all my training and expertise to work on your cock ASAP. It is a hard job, a messy job, a job that often involves being sucked deeply into sticky situations, but I am committed to guiding my patients all the way through treatment until a resolution of symptoms is achieved. Please don't hesitate to make an appointment.