Desires

"All I wish to give you is euphoria and ecstasy; the only tears I want to fall from your face are from joy, and from gagging on my girth. And you'll see very soon how often these two coincide."

"I wish to show you what could be. To let you decide if that's what you want. I want to fuck you, properly, and I want to make love with you, vigorously. Though I'm afraid what you'll experience with me may overwhelm you, may frighten you, that would also be a result, and I will accept and understand your decision."

"I want to hold you beneath me as I send you into wave after wave of pleasure, I want to watch you on top of me as you use me as your personal dildo while I'm teasing your insides the entire time. Even if I can only ever experience this with you once, and you want nothing more than to go back to being what we were before all this happened, that would be enough for me."

"What I desire even more than that is for you to be happy... It's just my own certainty that I could make you happier than you've ever been that's driving me to go this far, rather than sit and smile from a distance... I just want you to know, if we do happen, and you choose to be with me, I will never let you regret that decision. I will show you a life you've only ever dreamed of... and I'd do it just as vigorously as I would you."

"I'm in love with you, I lust for you, and if you aren't prepared for that and need me to, I will give up for you... my desire to feel your body against mine, your heart against mine, is outpaced by my desire for your happiness. I just hope for the chance to prove the happiness, the pleasure, I can give you is greater than anything you've ever been shown in your life."

She didn't stop him once as he spoke. She hid every reaction from him the entire time too. After his confession came to its conclusion, she didn't move, he couldn't see her breathe either.

Minutes passed, but still she said nothing.

With no inclination as to what was going through her mind, and his own mind a tangled mess as he allowed his heart to be in bare view of another person after so long keeping it hidden away... He interrupted the silence at last and told her, "You don't need to reply now... It's a lot to think about, a lot to consider, a lot to decide... but I have a way that might help you in making your decision."

She looks into his eyes, her own shaking subtly. "What is that?"

He looks back at her, aware of the fact his own eyes were no more still than hers. "The next time something happens that overwhelms you, or makes you feel like enough is enough, or makes you question things, talk to Derek. Bring up either the problems you've been having with things or just bring up whatever it is he did to make you feel this way. Try to get him to work on those problems, try to get him to try to improve himself. Then take a break."

"When you start the break, let me know you have in whatever way you feel most comfortable doing so in, and I'll go get a hotel room. I'll tell you which hotel and which room, and I'll have you registered to the room as well as myself. Whether you come or not doesn't matter, I'll still get the room."

"But know this, if you show up, I'll show you 4 things at the very least: what I'm like when I release my dom, what I'm like when I just use you as my toy, and what I'm like when I actually make love."

She continued looking at him as he spoke, a flush painting her beautiful face again as his words continued.

"Just know, you need to be prepared. I don't want to overwhelm you too much, but I can be rather intense... my dom side will overwhelm your senses, your body; but when I make love, I can overwhelm you entirely... I'm rather passionate, and I don't want you to be afraid of what you might feel when I am..."

Her blush intensified, her breath sweetening as he finished what he had to say.

"I'm very aware how extremely difficult a situation this is, and that there is no easy answer to it... But at the very least, I want you to make an informed decision... whether what you feel for me is more than lust, whether it's not, whether Derek will try, whether he won't, whether there's potential with me, whether there's not. In the end, whatever choice you make, I was aware of my chances from the beginning... I want you to choose the option that you'll be happiest in."

He paused, and looked into her eyes before finishing by saying, "you say I'm your fantasy; so I say, make me your reality. I'll show you what kind of magic happens when the two become one."

A shudder. A lip bitten from frustration. A breath is given softly, deeply. Her lips part, and after a pause, "let me think about it... There's a lot to think on..."

This was the answer he expected to receive, it was the only one that could be realistically expected. "Take as much time as you need," was the only thing he could answer with, for he knew she would need it... He needed it.

With the atmosphere being what it was, he decided to leave for now. Several days passed and he had still not received her answer, though they still talked like before.

Weeks more passed, when he abruptly received a short, four word message: "We took a break..."

He stared at the screen for a moment, doubting reality, before looking up the number to the hotel he had stuffed away in the back of his mind. After a short phone call later, he sent Myra a message nearly as short as her own. All it contained was a hotel name, and a room number.

To be continued in Part II: "Unchained".