Desperate

Me: Looking at you gave me a hard-on.

Oops. Shouldn't have said that, I realized the second after I sent it, but it was too late, so I quickly sent another message.

Me: Hello? Sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

Me: Rose?

Rose: Still here. Kind of in shock. No need to apologize. Actually, it was nice to read something like that. Too bad you could have seen me back in my day. I wasn't half-bad.

I had seen her back then, and she was never half-bad. She was always hot looking, and even though in her mind the years had started to take their toll, in my eyes she was still amazing looking.

Me: What I wouldn't give to be the one pulling up your shirt some time. I'd give anything to caress your lovely breasts. Your skin looks so soft in that picture. If I were there I would let my tongue slide all over your body. In that photo even the peach fuzz under your arms looks delicious.

Rose: OMG! I didn't even notice that until you mentioned it. No wonder the other guy didn't keep writing me. I'm usually very meticulous about things like that.

Me: Don't apologize. I thought it was very sexy. Just like the rest of you.

Rose: Is this what they call sex-ting, or whatever it is? Whatever it is, I kind of like it.

Me: Really?

Rose: Yes. Gives me goose bumps reading what you're saying.

Holy shit! Rose Price getting hot and bothered over me - or over this stuff Jim Kelly was telling her! I imagined her typing away. What was she wearing? Did she have her hand between her legs?

Me: I have to confess something to you. Maybe I shouldn't.

Rose: Tell me, Jim. Not nice to tease.

Me: When I got your picture just now, I masturbated. I couldn't help it. I was so excited chatting with you, and imagining what you looked like. I was nervous when you sent the picture, because I was afraid that you wouldn't look as good as I had imagined, but you were so beautiful that I couldn't help myself. Hope you aren't disgusted or upset.

There was a long pause, and I wondered whether I had gone a bit too far with that last comment. She did say that she liked the dirty talk though, so I hoped for the best.

Rose: No. I'm not upset. To be honest, last night when I saw your picture, I imagined myself - you know - with you? It's been so long since I've been with a man, and you look so strong and handsome that I couldn't help myself.

If only I had actually been my Uncle Steve, I would have run right over to Rose's house after hearing that, but that wasn't going to happen.

Me: As a matter-of-fact, when we get done chatting I suspect I'm going to get more comfortable and do it again.

Rose: Would you send me a picture too?

Me: Of me? I did.

Rose: You know what I mean. A picture like what I sent you.

Me: Of me with my shirt pulled up?

Rose: No, silly. You know what I mean.

Obviously I did known what she meant, but I didn't have a digital camera. My folks did though, so I decided to buy some time, telling Rose that I would take a picture of myself and sent it to her later.

She seemed pleased with that, so we ended our conversation on that note. I went to take a shower, needing to almost chisel my semen encrusted fruit-of-the-looms off of my genitals by then, and after finding the family camera I went back to my room and tried to send Rose something for her to enjoy.

...

Chapter Six: Jim Kelly's photos.

It took me a couple of hours and dozens of badly taken pictures before I was able to get a couple of acceptable ones. My initial efforts either showed too much, either of my room, which looked like every other 18 year-old's did, or showed too much of me.

I needed a picture of just my stuff, from my navel to my thighs, and I was finally able to get two decent pictures of my cock. One with an erection, which was the easy one because I hadn't been able to lose my boner all night. Just me from the side, with me on my back and my fist wrapped around the base of my unit. I thought about another one I took, with a ruler propped up against my cock, but decided that would be too tacky.

The other one was tougher, and I finally had to get myself off again while staring as Rose Price's breasts. Wiping my limp dick off, I was able to get one of my dangling package before I started sprouting wood again.

I stared at the two pictures, not really believing that I had done this, and the more I looked the better I liked them. It occurred to me that not only didn't I not look bad, I looked pretty damn impressive.

Too bad I couldn't just walk around fully dressed except for my crotch. Then the girls would look at me, I figured. My only saving grace were my private parts. I was homely, skinny and not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I was blessed in the genitalia department.

In the end, I ended up sending Rose both of them, finally getting them sent just before midnight, and after eliminating all the evidence, snuck the camera back where I had found it and went to bed.

I slept fitfully, and finally got up very early in the morning. That picture of me with a boner was too much, and the more I thought about it, the more afraid I was that maybe I had gone too far, so I went to see if there was any way I could retract that picture.

To my surprise, Rose had sent an e-mail in response to my photos, which she had opened up about 3 minutes after I had sent it. Her message back to me was sent around 2 in the morning.

...

Chapter Seven: Dear Jim.

Dear Jim,

I felt like such an idiot, sitting by the computer half-asleep waiting for your message, afraid that I had been stood up and made a fool of again.

It was so worth waiting for. Your pictures - I can't find the words right now. I can't wait to meet you in person.

Tomorrow night on IM - same time?

Love, Rose

...

Chapter Eight: Rose's reaction.

When I read what Rose had sent, my feeling of exhilaration was soon overwhelmed by my realizing that I was in the middle of something that would not have a happy ending. There was no Jim Kelly, only me. Robbie Bennett. Not a construction worker. An 18 year old kid - and a virgin besides - and here I was toying with a woman's feelings. A woman I worshipped.

I felt like the biggest low-life on the planet, and I vowed that I would not be chatting with her any longer. Better to just disappear from the cyber world as quickly as I had entered it. Let her think that I died or took off somewhere.

That was the best idea. It would be less painful in the end for all concerned, but the closer the time came, the more I wavered. I was drawn to the computer like a moth to a flame.

Rose: Jim?

Me: Hi Rose.

Rose: I don't know how long I'll be able to stay awake. I was up late last night, if you know what I mean.

Me: Oh.

Rose: Your pictures. I still can't get over them. Guess I'm showing my age, or maybe this is all new to me. Seeing you like that. I'm still shaking.

Me: You liked them?

Rose: You're kidding. I was stunned. Seeing you like that was - whew! You look so young. What I could see of you, that is. You don't look 36.

Me: I don't? Well, I try to take care of myself.

Rose: Not the you-know-what. I mean the other parts of you that I could see. So smooth looking.

I had fluffed up my little tuft of pubic hair, which was pretty much the sum total of my body hair, but she was right in that the rest of me didn't probably look like the 36 year old construction man I was pretending to be.

Me: Oh. Yeah, I guess so.

Rose: Is that really you?

Me: The pictures I sent you? Yes. That's me.

Rose: I know it's hard to tell from pictures, but you seem to be very - well endowed. Is that the right terminology?

Me: Is that okay?

Rose: Sure. I mean, that doesn't matter to me but it just seemed that - Wow! I don't have that much experience, but it just seemed that you looked kinda big. My ex-husband - he wasn't anywhere near as large as you are.

As goofy as it seems, Rose telling me that excited me a lot.

Me: Is he the only man you've ever been with?

Rose: No, I was with a couple of guys before I was married, and - this is embarrassing - when our marriage was on the rocks. You don't want to hear this. I don't want you to think I'm a slut.

Me; We've all done things we regretted.

Rose: Well, my ex used to have a few of his friends over for Monday Night Football, and he asked me if I would like to have a 3-some with one of the other guys and him. I didn't want to, but he persisted so I finally gave in. After the game one of the men stayed after the others had gone and he - we - you know.

Rose: Jim?

Rose: Hello?

The silence from my keyboard was deafening, and for good reason. Not so much from the fact that Rose had been with 2 guys at once, and not even the fact that her asshole husband made her do it with another guy.

The part that sent me back on my heels was that I knew some of the men that used to go over to the Price's for Monday Night Football back about 10 years ago. One of them I knew very well, because he was my father.

Rose: Jim?

Me: Sorry. My mouse just feel apart and I had to put it together. That's interesting about you and the other man.

Rose: I didn't want to do it, but I hoped that it would keep us together.

Me: I take it that it didn't.

Rose: No. I did everything that he asked me to do. Things I never even heard of doing. In the end it made it worse because he accused me of liking it more with the other guy than I did with him.

Me: Did you?

Rose: No. I loved my husband, even after all he did to me. I'm sorry I even mentioned this.

Me: It's alright. It hasn't changed anything about the way I feel about you.

Rose: Good, because I really want to meet you in person, even though I feel like I know you already. When can we get together?

Me: Pretty soon.

...

Chapter Nine: Backed into a corner.

Rose Price was alone, a tiny figure sitting on a bench in the middle of the town park at 1:00 on Saturday afternoon. I know because I was watching the park from across the street, and had been since just about noon. Rose had said she would be there at 1:30, and had arrived early.

I had hoped - prayed that she wouldn't show up. I don't even know why I finally agreed to meet her at all. Over the entire month of August I had kept making up excuses about why Jim Kelly couldn't meet her, and the longer that went on the more upset Rose was getting.

Finally, in mid-September she gave me an ultimatum. Either meet or our conversations were over. I tried everything, even telling her that I didn't look much like that guy in front of the War Memorial any more, but she didn't care, and for some reason I finally relented, agreeing to meet her in the park just down the road from her house.

Backed into a corner, or more accurately having backed myself into a corner, I made up my mind to come clean and face the music. After a few false starts I finally strode over to the park and approached her from the side without her noticing me at first.

Rose was wearing a sweater despite the warm day, and had really gone through a lot to get ready for this meeting. Her hair looked like she had just gotten out of the beauty parlor, and she had make-up on and everything. She looked so happy and upbeat, not to mention beautiful. Too beautiful to have this happen to her, and when she saw me approaching her, I lost my nerve.

"Hi Robbie," Rose said, looking around nervously as if she was expecting somebody that she didn't want me to see. "Haven't seen you in a long time."

"Hi Mrs. Price. Yeah, with Ted off to college and all, you know."

"Well, don't be a stranger," Rose said, making it clear that she wasn't looking for company right about now. "Stop by for a soda when you have time. You're always welcome."

"Uh, sure," I said, and walked down toward the creek.

"Gutless asshole," I said to myself once I got clear of Rose, and kept walking until I was out of sight.

1:30 came and went, and then it was 2 o'clock, but Rose gave no sign that she was ready to leave. She was certainly giving this asshole plenty of leeway, and when the clock neared 2:30 I found myself walking back toward Rose.

She looked even tinier now than she had before, and a lot of the glow she had exhibited earlier was gone, replaced with a sadness that was more in tune with the way she had looked since her husband had left her.

Rose seemed shocked to see me, but my vision was clouded by the tears that were welling in my eyes, and I was having trouble getting the words to come as she looked at me with a strangeness that I deserved.

"He's not coming," I finally stammered, and Rose clearly didn't understand what was happening.

"Jim Kelly," I said. "He's not..."

The look of horror on Rose's face was indescribable, but I didn't get to see it for long.

"No," Rose whispered, looking at me with eyes that either could not comprehend what was happening, or simply unwilling to believe that somebody could be so cruel and heartless to play such a horrible game with her.

"NO!" Rose repeated, but this time she screamed out the word, and when I stood there and shrugged my shoulders she jumped up from the bench and began to stumble away.

"Mrs. Price?" I called out, starting to chase her, and when she looked back at me she tripped and went to the ground for a second before scrambling to her feet and running away, down toward the six mile creek.

I kept calling out to her as she ran through the park, begging for her to stop, but she kept running, screaming at me to leave her alone. She kept going toward the creek, and while it wasn't deep enough to drown in, I didn't know what she was planning on doing. All I could hear was her crying and screaming.

Apparently we got the attention of some county worker who was parked alongside of the municipal building toward the back of the park, and as Mrs. Price ran past the truck and into the woods, the guy jumped out of the truck and cut me off.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the burly guy snarled at me.

"I have to get her," I said, and in retrospect I realize that my answer wasn't very good and my chasing after Rose looked even worse, but I didn't have time to explain because I had to catch Rose before she hurt herself.

Pushing my way around this big ape wasn't a very smart move, but then again, I'm not a very smart guy. To make it worse, not only am I not a lover, I'm not a fighter, as the next few seconds clearly proved.

I remember the punch in the solar plexus that knocked the wind out of me, and the punch that landed above my right eye. Judging by the way my mouth was bleeding when I came to, apparently I got at least one more shot to the jaw, but I was already knocked out by then.

When I came to I was on my back in the gravel. The man was gone, and the only person I could see was the angel hovering over me, wiping the blood from my forehead. Rose Price.

Her face was puffy and her eyes red from crying, but she was still beautiful to me, and the fact that she was tending to me not only meant that she hadn't done anything rash, but that she didn't hate me. At least not enough to leave me on ground to rot.

"Where did he go?" I mumbled, feeling blood trickling out of the corner of my mouth. "Guess he had enough."

Rose didn't smile at my lame attempt at humor, but my head was throbbing so badly that I didn't laugh either. Instead I struggled to sit up with Rose knelt beside me.

"I deserved that," I finally said. "Did you get him to stop?"

"No," Rose said without emotion. "I think his fists got sore. I watched though."

I got to my feet, which might have been a mistake since the park had become a carousel of sorts, and if it wasn't for Rose holding my arm I might have gone down again, but she steadied me until I got my bearings.

"You can't go home like that, Robbie" Rose said. "Come to my place and let me clean you up."

"Thanks, Mrs. Price. I don't deserve to have you be this nice to me."

"No," Rose said. "You don't."

...

Chapter Ten: The long walk.

I was trying to walk straight, but the path I was taking was serpentine despite Rose's best efforts. After we got out of the park we had to walk past Benny's bar, where a couple of locals found my appearance amusing.

"Hey Rose," one of them said. "Lucky you pulled Jesse off of him, because he would have killed that poor little fella the way he was going. Not a good idea to mess with that guy, kid."

Rose ignored them, and when I glanced over and started to say something, she ignored me too. The fact that she hadn't let the guy wail on me made me feel better and worse at the same time. The pain I was in somehow made me feel like I was getting what was coming to me, but it didn't do anything for Rose.

She got me into her house, a place I was familiar with, but now seemed different without the presence of her son Ted. The absence of her husband had already made the house seem bigger, but now with Ted off to college and swearing to never return, the modest dwelling seemed cavernous.

Rose sat me down at the kitchen table, and I watched her out of my good eye while she got some things down from the cabinet to treat my various injuries, and saw that she had dressed up for the occasion. Some occasion, I though to myself.

This is going to sting a bit, Rose said just before dabbing some antiseptic on the cut over my eye, and while I winced I tried to think of something to say.

"You've done this enough to me over the years, haven't you Mrs. Price?" I recalled. "Always scraping, cutting or doing something to myself over here."

"Here," Rose said, handing me some mouthwash. "Rinse your mouth out over at the sink."

I got up, the pain in my side making me flinch, and after burning the cut inside my mouth with the rinse, I went back to the seat.

"Your ribs. They hurt, don't they?" Rose asked. "Take your shirt off."

I protested, not wanting to showcase my scrawny build, but finally managed to get the shirt off. The bruise on my rib cage was, not coincidentally, as big as a fist, and when Rose gently touched it I bit my lip in response.

"Might have broken a rib," Rose said, pulling a chair over next to me so she could tend to my busted lip. "You should go to the hospital and get checked out."

"No, I'm alright."

"You know," Rose said. "What you did to me? If anybody else had done that, most any of Teddy's other friends - especially Teddy himself, it wouldn't have surprised me. But you?"

Rose shook her head at me in a way that showed her disappointment in me just as much as her words did.

"You, I always thought more of. I was always so fond of you. I always wished that Teddy would take more after you than the other boys, or his father. You were always so polite and considerate to me. Then today. Why would you do something like that to me?"

"I didn't mean it," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks that had nothing to do with my bruises. "It got out of hand."

"Did Teddy put you up to it?"

"God, no!"

"How did you know about that stupid ad then?" Rose asked. "Teddy must have showed it to you."

I said nothing, not willing to throw my friend under the bus, but Rose seemed to have it all figured out without my help.

"He already made it clear how disgusted he thought I was for doing it," Rose said in a resigned voice. "Just like he thought everything else I did was wrong or stupid."

"He doesn't mean those things," I suggested. "He'll figure things out eventually, and when he comes back..."

"He's never coming back," Rose said softly.

"Oh, he always said that."

"I think this time when he said it, he meant it, because as he was leaving he gave me something to remember him by," Rose explained, and when I looked quizzically at her, Rose opened her mouth wide to reveal a open space where her upper incisor used to be, sticking her tongue through the open area.