Desperate Measures

"I don't think you can believe everything you see on the internet," she said feebly.

"No, you're probably right," I said. "I think a good bit of it is probably bullshit. Especially the part about 'things are different now. Lots of people have open marriages.' That's the part you shouldn't believe. Do you think you can believe everything that slut Marcy tells you? How many times has she been divorced? How about her husband? How many times has he been divorced?"

"I don't know about him," she said.

"Well, what about her?" I asked.

"Four times," she said quietly.

"So you're taking marriage advice from a four time loser?" I asked incredulously.

"It's not like that," she protested. "She and Herb have a really strong marriage. I don't know what happened the other times. Maybe she married assholes."

"Or, maybe she's the asshole," I said. I was disgusted with this shit. "I asked Sea where all this crap was coming from. She said Marcy talked about this all the time. I also found out that Marcy and Herb hardly speak to each other and spend all their time trying to fuck their friends. How do you think this is going to end, Amanda? What, exactly, do you think you're doing?"

"Well, don't you think our sex life has been a little bit... stale lately?" she asked.

"No, I don't," I told her. "I've been perfectly happy. How many times did you come the last time, half a dozen? It's gotten weird because you want to play stupid games. Wait a minute; were those Marcy's idea, too?" I could tell by the look on her face that they were. "Jesus Christ," I exploded. "They were her idea. This is fucking unbelievable."

"We have a really strong marriage. This could be so good for us and so exciting," she said. "We could come home and tell each other about our experiences and it would be so hot! Don't you have fantasies about me being with another man and then coming home and fucking your brains out? Lots of men have that fantasy. It's in the top ten male fantasies."

"Fantasy?" I exploded. "More like a nightmare. How do you know lots of men have this fantasy? You want to give it a Google? I don't know who's into this shit, but it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. You do that, any of that, and we're through, Amanda."

She looked shocked. "What do you mean, 'we're through'? Do you mean you'd divorce me? Is that all our marriage means to you? I thought you loved me more than that. I thought our marriage was strong and you'd be open to things."

"Yeah, well I thought it was strong, too," I said. "Apparently, it's not as strong as I thought. The fact that you're even talking shit like this tells me that our marriage doesn't mean shit to you. What are you going to tell the girls? Mom and Dad are splitting up? Are you going to tell them why?"

"We're not splitting up," she said. "If we were it would be because their Dad doesn't love me enough to accept the fact that I have enough love for him to allow him to have other relationships."

"Guess again," I said. "What they would be told is that their mother doesn't love their father enough to keep her marriage vows. She doesn't love them enough to make sure they have a good, loving home. Their mother wants to be a slut and doesn't give a shit about anyone else."

We were both angry now and she promptly nailed the lid on the coffin. "I want this," she said. "It's going to happen, Corwin. You might as well get used to it. You can either go with me on this journey or you can sit at home and pout like a baby."

"That's where you're wrong," I told her. "We're not going to survive this, Amanda. The first time you fuck some dipshit, we're history. I won't be sitting at home. I'll be speaking to a lawyer. I'm going to give you a couple of options here. One, we can just forget everything and I'll talk to an attorney in the morning. We'll be divorced as soon as possible. Two, you can make an appointment to see a therapist in the morning to find out why you're bat shit crazy. Right after that, you can make another appointment for us to see a marriage counselor. We'll try to fix this mess. I'll go to counseling, too, and work with you, but I'm not at all hopeful.

"This is the big fuck up, Amanda. I've seen this coming ever since you started getting weird ideas. I think that slut Marcy has been feeding you a line and you've obviously swallowed it. You think all these good things are going to happen. All that's going to happen is that you're going to make everyone you say you love miserable. The girls, me and you, we're all going to suffer because you've somehow built this idea up in your mind. Believe me; I won't be sitting at home."

"What are you going to do about it?" She was taunting me now. "You can't stop me. You don't own me and I can do whatever I want. You won't divorce me. You have too much to lose. I'll get the girls and the house and you'll be paying alimony and child support. Think about this, Corwin. Don't do anything stupid. I love you. I'm never going to leave you. This can be so exciting for us. We'll experience the thrill of all those first times without any of the risks or downsides. I'll come home, or you'll come home and we'll be there for each other. I'll be so hot that it will be the best sex of our lives. Come on, baby, let's just give it a try. If you aren't happy we'll stop and that will be the end of it."

She stood up, came over to my chair and tried to wrap her arms around me and kiss me. I pushed her hands away and stood up. "Don't touch me," I told her. "I need to think about this. I'll let you know what I decide."

I lied. I didn't need to think about it at all. I just needed to get my ducks in a row. She was probably right about everything she'd said concerning divorcing her. That whole system is fucked up nine ways from Sunday. I needed to make some moves. I left her there, went up to the master bedroom and locked the door.

After being on the computer for thirty minutes and on the phone for ten, I had a plan for the money. The problem was the girls. I checked, and under Georgia law (we lived in Atlanta) children over the age of 14 get to choose with whom they live. I was betting on me. Audra was a slam-dunk. She was Daddy's princess, always had been. Olivia loved me, I knew that, but she thought a lot of her mother, too. I knew there was no way Audra was going with Amanda and I didn't think Olivia would want to be separated from her sister. I was betting that if I could get them to hear what their mother was planning, how she planned to use them as leverage to force me into this "open marriage," they would want nothing to do with her.

Yes, it was cynical and I hated every thought I was having, but I wasn't the one changing the rules. That's what it amounted to. If Amanda had come to me before we got married, told me she wanted to stay faithful to each other for 19 years, then start fucking other people, would I have married her? Not a chance in hell. I'd have been out of there like a cat with its tail on fire.

She knew it, and she would have done the same thing. Now, she wanted to change the rules and force me to go along with it. She was threatening me with what she was going to do if I didn't. Had she come to me, told me she wanted to fuck around and wanted a divorce, I'd have been hurt badly, but I would have done the decent thing. We'd have split everything up, figured out a custody agreement and that would have been the end of it. Not after this extortion shit.

The conversation happened two nights later. Amanda didn't know the girls were listening from the stairway. She started by apologizing. I wasn't buying it.

"So you've decided to see a therapist and start marriage counseling?" I asked.

"There's nothing wrong with me," she snapped. "It's you that has the problem."

"You're planning to have sex with other men, and I'm the one with the problem?" I asked.

"I'm not 'planning' anything," she said. "I don't have some big plan worked up to go out and have sex... I mean, to date anyone else. I'm not even expecting that. I just think we should have the option if it comes up."

"I have a different idea," I told her. "Just so you know, I have opportunities to cheat on you occasionally. It's not every day, but a dozen times down through the years, I've had my chances. Do you know what kept me from doing it?"

"What?" she asked.

"I did have a plan," I told her. "I was planning not to cheat. I went into every one of those situations with the plan that I wasn't going to do it. That's what being married is all about; planning to have a good marriage, planning not to have sex with other people. If you don't plan to succeed, you're planning to fail. Isn't that what they say? That's what you're planning to do. You're planning to betray all the promises you made to everyone, me, your kids, God, and everyone else. How do you suppose the girls are going to take that?"

"You're not going to tell them a damn thing," she hissed. "You know the mother always gets custody of the kids. I'll take them away from you and you'll never see them again. I'll make sure that every time you have a visit, something will come up. You'd better not breathe a word to them." She glared at me and stalked off somewhere.

I heard a couple of faint gasps from the stairs and a muffled sob. Amanda was making too much noise to hear it. When I got to the stairs, the girls were gone. I went up to Audra's room but it was empty. As I walked down the hall to Olivia's room, I could hear low voices inside. I knocked and Olivia asked me what I wanted.

"Can I come in?" I asked her.

She opened the door. "Come in, Dad," she said. "We thought maybe it was Mom."

They had both obviously been crying. I sat down between them and wrapped both of them up in my arms. "I'm so sorry you had to hear that," I told them. "I didn't think you would believe me if you didn't hear it for yourselves."

"It's okay, Dad," Olivia said. "It's not your fault. It's her fault. I didn't believe you. Well, I didn't think you would lie to us, but I thought maybe you'd misunderstood her. We know now. How could she do that to you? How could she do it to us?"

"I don't know, Baby," I told her. "I don't have a freaking clue. She's not thinking straight. She's been listening to a bunch of sh... cr... stuff someone at work has been telling her. She's decided she's going to do it, and that's it. I've tried everything I could think of to talk her out of it. She doesn't care."

"Do you think she's sick?" Audra asked.

"I have no idea what makes her tick anymore," I said. "I tried to get her to see a therapist. You heard me. I offered to go to marriage counseling. She's just not interested."

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"Nothing, right now," I said. "When she decides I've given up, she'll probably go on a date. When she does, we'll be ready. When she gets back, we'll be gone. I'll try to talk her out of it. I don't think she's going to listen. Are the two of you with me, or do you want to stay with her?"

They looked at each other for a minute. "No, Dad, we're going with you," Audra said.

My heart leaped. Nineteen years, ending in disappointment, but here was the reason I was going to be okay. I wouldn't regret a single minute as long as I had my babies.

It took almost two months. They were the weirdest two months of my life. Amanda and I hardly spoke. We were like roommates who didn't like each other very well. She slept in the spare bedroom and I slept in what had been our room. I tried to talk to her, convince her of the madness she was bent on. We were weeding the garden one evening and I broached the subject.

"Amanda, do you feel like this plan of yours is working out? Is our marriage getting stronger? Where's all that hot sex you mentioned? Is this exciting, fulfilling? Is this what you thought was going to be so great? Is this what you had in mind?"

She looked over at me and I saw the first hint of doubt in her eyes. It quickly turned to anger. "If you weren't being an asshole it wouldn't be like this," she snapped.

"I don't want my wife planning to fuck other people. She insists that she's going to do it, whether I like it or not. I'm being the asshole here?"

"Yes, you are," she practically shouted. "You won't even think about how great this could be for both of us. It doesn't have to be this way. You could just forget about your stubborn man pride and everything would be perfect."

"Perfect for whom?" I asked. "It sure as hell isn't me. This is as bad as it could possibly be for me. You obviously don't give a shit about me."

"I love you so much more than you love me," she said bitterly. "I love you enough to allow you your freedom, allow you to explore boundaries and keep your place in my heart."

"I don't see that as love," I told her. "I happen to think it's selfishness. I love you enough not to exercise my freedom. I love you enough not to fuck other people, explore any boundaries. If you really loved me, that's what you'd do. When did you stop loving me, Amanda?"

"I didn't," she started crying. "I love you more than ever. That's how I can allow this. My love for you is stronger than you'd ever believe."

"So love is you driving a stake in my heart. That's love to you?" I asked.

"That's not what I'm doing," she was furious, now. "I'm going to the club with Bill White from work Friday night," she said. "Seabra is going with us. Please, Corwin, come with us. Give it a shot. I promise you won't be disappointed. It will be the hottest thing we've ever done."

I pretended to think it over for a minute. "Okay, what the hell. You're going to do it anyway; I guess I might as well go along for the ride."

She was across the garden in a flash, her arms around me and her body pressed against mine. "Corwin," she sobbed. "God, thank you sweetheart. I was going nuts! I didn't think you'd ever even consider it. You won't be sorry, baby, I promise. You'll never regret this."

I was regretting it already, but this situation was intolerable. I couldn't go on like this. I wondered if Sea would help me. I decided to give her a call.

As it turned out, she was mad as hell. She had no idea what was going on when Mandy asked her to go clubbing. She didn't know Bill White was going to be there and she sure as hell didn't know she was being set up to be with me.

"That bitch!" she said, when I told her. "I'm calling her now and she's toast."

"Sea, do you trust me?" I asked her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she sputtered. "I trusted that bitch wife of yours, too."

"Sea, calm down," I told her. "I need your help. I know you're upset, but I really need you to help me. This is the dividing line. I'm leaving her. We'll be divorced as soon as possible. I'm ready, but I need your help. I'm going to play along, and I need you to play with me"

I could hear her breathing deeply into the phone. "What you got in mind?" she asked.

"I'm going to pretend I'm down with all this," I told her. "I'm going to ask you to go home with me. All you have to do is pretend you want to."

She laughed. "How do I know this isn't some devious plan to get me in your house?"

I chuckled. "It is," I told her. "I need you to take the girls to my new place while I get our stuff out of the house."

That brought out the wicked side in her and she agreed that her vengeance could wait. I hadn't been aware that she had a vengeful side, but it was going to work for me.

All that week, Amanda fucked me like there was no tomorrow. Friday, there wouldn't be a tomorrow for us. She was wild, telling me over and over again how great this was going to be and how much I was going to love it.

I tried one more time Friday morning, before I left for work. "Are you very sure about this, Amanda? There's still time, you can still call it off. Hasn't this week been great, with just us?"

"Corwin, we've already been through all of that. If it turns out you don't like it, we can talk afterward, but I'm not changing my mind." She smiled at me. "Yes, Corwin, this last week has been wonderful. I've loved it, and I love you. Tonight will be the best yet! You'll see. Thank you for doing this with me! You're going to love it, Corwin, I know you will!" She danced her way out of the bedroom.

She knew I was going to love this? Right, I thought sourly. Let's get this day over.

When Seabra stopped by the house on Friday evening, she was absolutely stunning. Amanda was cute, petite and slender, with small breasts and a cute face that belonged on a teenager. Seabra was in a whole different league. She was tall, her breasts were big and high and she had one of those bubble butts you hear so much about and almost never see. Amanda was a bit flat back there.

Seabra had on a short tight red sheath dress with sequins all over it. She just looked amazing. I was wearing a sport coat and black pants with a ribbed t-shirt under the coat. She looked me up and down when I let her in. She grinned wryly at me.

"Now I know you're trying to get in my panties," she said.

"Well, yes, but not tonight," I said. "This is all business. I'll have to wait for the panties."

"That's a shame," she said. "I'm wearing a thong and I think you'd like it."

"Show me," I pulled her tight up against me, putting my hands on the hem of her dress and gradually easing it up her long beautiful legs toward that amazing ass.

"Stop that! Amanda could come in anytime," she whispered fiercely.

"Exactly," I said. "We want her to think I'm playing her game." I continued to slide her dress up and over the firm contours of her ass. She giggled and tried to push my hands away, but I was relentless. Just as two of the most beautiful sights I'd ever seen popped into view and I was about to give them a squeeze, Amanda walked in. Sea squealed and jerked her dress back down.

Amanda just smiled. "You two are getting an early start, I see. Save it until after we dance and then get a room."

"I've already got a room," I told her. "How about you and Bill get the room?"

She smirked at us, grabbed her clutch and we were off. Bill met us at the club. I don't think the evening started the way he'd expected. I shook his hand and just crushed it. I've been power lifting for years and one thing it does, if you lift without straps, is it gives you quite a grip. I could see him start to go weak in the knees and I let him go. You could tell he wanted to whimper and nurse his hand, but his macho image wouldn't let him.

He was one of those pretty boys. Have you ever noticed that as men approach what some women would call ideal, the likelihood of their being a hair dresser or a Scientologist goes up to near infinity? Just look at Tom Cruise. I wondered about Bill.

"Say, Bill, you don't happen to be a hair dresser, do you?" I asked him.

He snorted. "Hell no," he said. "Those guys are all gay."

"Yeah, I know," I said. He looked like he might want to make something out of that, but his hand hurt too badly.

"You know who L. Ron Hubbard is?" I asked him.

"Yes, how did you know?" he asked. "I've been a Scientologist for six years."

I shrugged. "Just testing a theory," I said.

Sea was about to choke. I'd mentioned my little theory to her before and she was about to burst out laughing at any moment. We both looked over at Amanda and she was beet red with fury. Maybe I'd shared too many of my private theories with her.

"Let's find a booth," she said and stalked away with her back as stiff as a poker, Mr. Bill in her wake.

As soon as he was ten feet away, Seabra burst out laughing. I grabbed her arm and we followed them with her wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You're a mean man, Corwin," she gasped.

"Yeah, well, this is a hell of a night," I told her. "Compose yourself, Sea. Act like you're seducing me."

She did a good job of it, too. I was more than halfway seduced by the time we got to the booth, watching that fantastic ass undulate in front of me. I decided I was all the way seduced by the time I'd danced with her twice. She was doing everything but fuck me on the dance floor. Amanda was out doing her thing with Mr. Bill when we got back the second time.