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"What do you mean the first time around?" Arden asked standing and taking a couple steps toward me. Suddenly I felt light headed and dizzy once again, I looked up at him, he had bit his lip again, the scent of his blood filling my sensed. I leaned back against the staircase. I looked down and shook my head. This can't be happening again already.
"Cadence...tell me you...didn't say it..." I said, closing my eyes and trying to steady myself. I heard her come around the chair to look at me and then she slowly backed off.
"I didn't say it." She whispered. It must be him, it's the only explanation.
The glass in my hand shattered, I had been gripping it tightly so I wouldn't drop it; I guess it was to tight. My knees were about to give out but Arden wrapped an arm around my waist while looking at my hand.
I could see the Shade - they were coming. "We have to leave! They will be here soon." I whispered urgently.
Cadence dropped her drink on the table and ran around collecting our purses, shoes, weapons and threw them all in a duffel bag from in the coat closet.
"What is she talking about?" John said standing, sounding angry and confused.
I heard Cadence stop moving, "The woman said the Shade are coming here, now. She had a vision, now get with the program and help me find the keys." She said in the commanding voice I knew and loved. "Arden, get her out to the car." She ordered.
I felt Arden scooping me up into his arms and cradling me to his chest. "You know you still haven't told me anything." I whispered.
"Neither have you." He said as he laid me down in the back seat and sat down next to me, propping me up so that I was leaning against him.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 7 years agoKeep it coming. It doesn't matter about chapter length as long as the story keeps coming at a pace that keeps everyone interested. I know that you are looking for an editor, but some of those issues can be solved by looking the information up on the internet. For example, use of "me" or "I" and correct use of "their," "there," and "they're. Your work is really appreciated! We all look forward to the next chapter.
FiveWolvesover 7 years agoTrust your instincts about your chapter lengths. I think they're just right to keep us coming back for more.
jpz007ahrenover 7 years agoChapter length is Fine. The only reason you have to read so many complaints of short chapters is that people just want to keep reading your story.
SHUT UP ABOUT SHORT CHAPTERS AND ENJOY, PLEBS!
Thanks Sanguinelady
Anonymousover 7 years agoI'm intrigued now
Context established
Continuity much more accurate than chapter 1
Agree with others chapters need to be longer, a minimum 3 full pages
djb
cantfightfateover 7 years agoI like your characters, especially Detective Spring and Arden, I am interested in the storyline but I finish the chapter annoyed and frustrated, rather than happy. I wish I could just turn the page and continue.
Keep up the great writing and maybe combine 2-3 chapters to get a chapter length readers can really sink into.
