Devin Dee Ch. 01

Last August I found out the hard way what risks were lurking around the corner when I decided to step out to my small circle of friends. I knew it wouldn't be a picnic, but I never expected to be completely shunned by them. But I basically was. All except for Jacob, although his role in my life these days is the role of a spy. Jacob has risked his status within the group to keep informed of what they were doing and where they were going. Not that his secret information has done me much good, but it's a joy to hear from him every few weeks.

Hey, I identify as Devin Dee and needless to say, coming out to my friends didn't go as planned. But I did it and now I have to live with that and apparently, I have to live with that all alone and by myself.

So, August was a disaster and September wasn't much better. I couldn't bring myself to be that person who tried to hard to regain respect from my friends by over contacting them, so I tried to be where they would be as much as possible. I was hoping that visual contact would spur one of them to at least greet me with a pleasant hello. I gave that a try at the Labor Day Race for Health event in Middleton. I didn't participate in the race itself, but I wandered around the vendor tents like everyone else with the hopes of "bumping" into Cody, Jacob, Andy or Ben. The eye contact thing worked alright and what I mean by that is as soon as we all made eye contact, they turned left and disappeared into the row of tents. That was another heart-breaking moment and it made me retreat back into the solitude and safety of my house for another month. Almost.

I had one more trick up my sleeve and I had six weeks to make it work. I knew where the crew would be on the weekend of October 22nd because it's an annual event and none of them probably considered that I still had a reservation for a cabin for the weekend. I felt confident that they wouldn't remember because their cabin reservations wouldn't change one way or the other. The reason their reservations wouldn't change is because I always stayed in a cabin by myself. That was an easy sell over the past few years because Cody and Jacob shared a cabin and Andy and Ben shared another cabin and that left little ole me to stay by myself and you know, fem it up in private. It was a perfect set up for many years.

The annual weekend event is a Pheasant hunting weekend at the Fly Fast hunting lodge with the over night stay at the Hidden Oaks Resort a short distant away. By the way, you can stop laughing now. I will be the first to admit that whatever I'm about to do is a horrible plan. Let's just say that right here and get over it. Devin Dee will never win an award for coming up with a good plan! There, now, moving on.

Alright, I have reduced my risk of 100% humiliation by deciding not to weasel my way into their hunting foursome on Saturday. That just didn't seem feasible, so that's out. By the way, this is where you give me a little credit for improving the odds of my plan working. Thank you.

So, just what in the hell am I planning on doing you ask? Hah, I have two plans. Plan A tricks them into a night cap on my cabin porch on Friday night and Plan B tricks them into forgiving me because they will be hungry after the morning hunt and I'll be at the edge of the field with an SUV full of sandwiches. I mean, other than I might a complete fool of myself, what could go wrong, right?

Oh, you want to know why I just don't go all in and humiliate myself by scheduling a morning hunt for myself? Well, I'll tell you and it has nothing to do any of my old friends being a better shot than me. But it does everything to do with the new black Denim ankle jeans and boots that I bought to wear, neither of which are coming in from the hunting field full of burrs and pickers! And that's not to mention the new brunette ponytail wig and camo orange hat I picked up to finish off my outdoor look. I mean, I know that LL Navy Bean only sells the best in outdoor wear, but not these boots baby! At least not until they get scuffed up a little and that should take the rest of the cold weather season. Oops, where we live, the cold weather season is the cooler weather season, LOL.

So, how does my plan sound now? Ugh, I know, but I'm desperate to reunite with my friends. I mean, my game console hasn't been turned on in so long that I'm not even sure that it still works.

And then a few days before the weekend, I sat down and rewrote my plan order! My new Plan A was to give Jacob a heads up that I would be lurking around the resort for the weekend. My new Plan B was to leave early enough on Friday to beat them to the check in desk. Plan C would be the cocktails on the porch on Friday night and Plan D would be the surprise lunch at Noon at the edge of the hunting field. Plan E would be to keep my SUV filled with gasoline in case any of the other plans went south and I needed to make a quick exit from the area. I want my friends back and I want them to accept me, but a black eye is not what I want.

Plan A was easy to implement. I, rather Danny Dunn, took a half day vacation from work, which gave Devin Dee more than enough time to shower, shave, LOL, shave some more and pack up my SUV. And by the way, there is one pair of Levi 505's and a T-shirt just in case of an emergency, but other than that, this will be a Devin Dee weekend from morning to evening. By 3 pm in the afternoon, Devin Dee was cruising down I-32 for the two-hour drive to the resort. In conservative capri jeans of course, but my new orange camo hat and ponytail were jamming it out!

I suppose that Plan A-1 was to cruise around the town of Silverton for a while to find a Deli to purchase lunch sandwiches for tomorrow. Huh, I guess Plan A-2was to drive one more town over to find a Deli because Silverton is more of a resort town than a general town. However, Plan A-2 was successful and Karen's Deli was still open so I stopped in and placed my order for the next day. However, Plan A-2 also let me know that the girl behind the counter knew a few things. She was nice about things, but she knew that Devin Dee was disguising a secret. But you know what? Nothing bad happened and my lunch order would be ready for pick up by 11 am in the morning. Oh, something good actually happened. Just as I was leaving, she summoned me back to the counter and she fixed my ponytail out of the back of my hat, wished me happy hunting and kissed me on the cheek. Huh, right?

LOL, what I did find in the resort town of Silverton was a party store that had rum, coke and limes, LOL, so at least I had the ingredients for Plan B. Now, the young man behind that counter acted much differently than Lilly at the Deli and OMG, he mumbled something about happy hunting too and I don't think he meant it for me! In other words, I spun around to flip my ponytail at him and left the building.

And holy I forgot something snap, I quickly developed Plan F. Plan F was more of a reminder than a plan of action and the reminder was that I was about to trick four of my old friends while they were on a bird hunting weekend and bird shot stings! I mean, being confronted by my old friends in a negative way is one thing, but to lay up in the back of an EMS truck with shredded undies is another thing. Besides, everything I brought for the weekend is new and I don't need the EMS folks giggling at me as they cut away my jeans, right? So, I will repeat "bird shot stings" over and over in my head all weekend.

Oh, I almost forgot. And I pity the fool who tries to cut these boots off of me this weekend!

I thought I might have a hard time at the check in desk as I tried to check in dressed as Devin Dee while the reservation was listed under Danny Dunn, but huh, what do you know? The desk clerk, Shelia, waved off my offer to remove my wig and swiped my credit card. And huh, what do you know? As I turned to leave the lobby, she called me back and fixed my ponytail and wished me happy hunting.

And by all that, I mean even if all my plans fail and fail miserably, I will leave this resort with a few special memories anyways. One of those memories will be what the hell am I doing wrong with my ponytail that it has to fix all the time, but memories just the same.

And such a lovely surprise was waiting for me when I left the lobby and that surprise was three guys in three golf carts, all wanting to give me and my luggage a ride to my cabin. And by lovely surprise, I mean these three guys were hunting right now. LOL, which made me point to my SUV to let them know that I had a ride. I also headed right back into the lobby and approached Shelia with a few questions and comments.

"Oh, so you suggest that I call for Derek when I need a cart ride to the restaurant later and a ride around the grounds?"

"I do. You're exactly his type, but he won't pressure you into anything. He's really a nice guy and by that, I mean here are my other suggestions. Go to your cabin, unpack a little, throw on a hoodie and Derek will pick you up and give you a ride to the hunting field you were asking about while there is still a little daylight left. Sound good, Devin Dee?"

"Ah, will it be OK if I stop by your desk after that to see if my friends have checked in yet and by that, I mean don't mention anything about me."

"Sounds about right. And if it makes you feel any better, Derek has already agreed to cover for me next weekend when my boyfriend comes home from Coastal, you know, just as long as I assign your needs to him. I'll make sure that Derek has two Raspberry Smoothies in his cart when he picks you up. Jilly makes the best smoothies."

I have to admit two things here. One, OMG, getting all this special attention is great, but two, OMG, my nerves are jumping through my stomach. I mean, Shelia, as nice as she is, seems willing to sell my soul to the devil so she gets her sex next weekend and Derek, although I may be his "type", just what the hell does that really mean anyways? And don't get me started on this miracle worker Jilly. I mean, I'm pretty serious about my Raspberry flavor and some standard run of the mill smoothie isn't going to make me fill out a comment card. I suppose I admit a third thing here because I took Shelia's other suggestion and unbuttoned my capri jeans button.

But never mind all of that, my nerves still made me feel uneasy about what I was doing and all I could about was my other options. I mean, how do I lure my old friends onto my porch tonight for that night cap? Do I stalk them through the windows in my cabin? Do I wander around the lodge grounds? Do I pack up and go home? Do I hang around the lodge lobby and wait for them to check in? Do I have a drink in the lodge bar?

Oh, holy plan A failure snap, what do I do now? I mean, what do I do after Derek shows me the field where I will be serving a surprise lunch tomorrow?

But never mind all that right now because the slight sound of a weak horn was beeping outside of my cabin.

"Ah, hi Derek. I'm Devin Dee, but I suppose you knew that already, right Derek? So, I guess I'm your smoothie date for a while. Ah, no seat belts?"

"LOL, just hold on and don't worry about the seat belts. I mean, you can walk almost as fast as these carts go. Ah, nice boots, by the way."

"Oh, thanks, I bought them special for this weekend of tricks, I mean for this weekend. So, away we go or what?"

LOL, he smashed the pedal to floor and we pulled away. LOL, there will be no squealing tires in this story, LOL. The drive was smooth, slow, but smooth as he made his way to the field. LOL, he was even smoother when he pulled up to the field and somehow managed to find the prefect place to park. You know, backed in at an angle and basically in the tree line. You know, nice and private. LOL, like there was going to be someone else out here at this hour! And then, he got busy. No, not with me, but with his resort communication walkie talkie.

"Click, click. Derek, is everything OK? Click, click."

"Click, click. We're fine. We're at the spot. Click, click."

"Click, click. Ask Devin D if I can take her cell number from her registration form. It will be much more private to talk to her. Click, click."

"Click, click. Double D is nodding her head. Over. Click, click."

"Click, click. Oh, Double D so soon? Click, click."

"Click, click. Ah, Shelia, this is Double D, shut it. Over. Click, click."

"Click, click. Shelia shutting it. Sorry, but your friends haven't checked in yet, but Jilly wants to be praised. Click, click."

"Click, click. Jilly gets props. Double D getting busy now. Click, click."

Well, let me tell you that not only does Jilly get her props for these amazing Raspberry Smoothies, she can have the guy of her choice, you know, if she likes any of my old friends. I mean, this smoothie is real and not some syrup filled mess.

"Alright Double D, this is the field. So, as you can see, this is the perfect spot to park your SUV while you open it up for lunch service. This is basically the entrance and exit from this particular field. So, are you going to follow me out here tomorrow and then I'm kicked to the curb?"

"Oh no, as the crew is approaching my SUV, you should plant a TV kiss on me, slide your hand down the side of my butt cheek and then take off, you know, for the curb. You know a TV kiss means no tongue tickling, right?"

"Oh, so on the cheek?"

"Oh no, square on my pouted lips, but you know, no tickling, OK? You're taller than me, so the pose will be perfect. So, did you want to practice, you know, before Shelia sends me text number 35?"

Alright, fine, I'm not exactly a fem boy virgin. I had a bully for a long time and although we never did anything too much, I suppose, well, never mind all that, I may or may not have had a cock in my hands before. I mean, I've never kissed anyone before, but I said it has to be a TV kiss, right?

And holy TV rehearsal snap, do all actors jump on it this fast? I mean, the short paragraph above took a total of 6 seconds and boom, his arms are wrapped around me and OMG, is he ever practicing! And fine, so was I! I mean, it's been a while since I directed a guy on how to lift his hips a little. However, let me just say that Derek kept his practice to a TV kiss and the world kept spinning.

And although Derek's golf cart will never pop a wheelie, OMG, he sure did! And just how the hell he was ready to pop a second wheelie so quickly was beyond me, but the only way to figure out if he could pop it again for a third time was to get rid of the second one, right? And then the moment was disturbed by that annoying click, click sound. You know the sound, right? The one that was supposed to be replaced by normal people texting, you know, at Shelia's privacy request?

"Click, click. Ah, Double D, you butt dialed my phone and I've been live streaming your call for the last three, well, you know, wheelies. Click, click. Click, click. Oops, respect. Click, click."

"Click, click. Seriously? WTF? Click, click. Click, click. Thanks for the respect. That was a first. Have my friends checked in? Click, click."

"Click, click. Yes, they have and while your friend Andy was trying to peek down my blouse, well, he watched the live stream for a minute and now he has a fat dick. Oh, and then Jilly seen his boner and well, she's in your cabin, so knock before entering. Click, click."

"Click, click. OMFG, is she blowing him in my cabin? Click, click."

"Click, click. Oh, sucking him off, eating his ass, getting it doggie or maybe all of the above. Jilly's kind of a freak. Oh, and that's code for you have time to, you know, gun it again. Click, click."

Listen, that was a mistake phone call. I mean, who in the hell invented butt dialing anyways? Some guy who lives in his mom's basement with a little computer code writing knowledge? Oh, yeah, it was.

"Damn Double D, does that mean we're done for the night because you want to get back to your cabin so you can implement your front porch trick and I'm on the curb again?"

"Oh no, this means that you drop me off and drive your cart to the kitchen to pick up the platter of wings I just ordered and then you lean in and give me a TV kiss on the neck behind my ear and if your hand happens to lift my shirt and expose my flat belly, then so be it. I'll even twist a little to show that my jeans button is undone."

"Holy TV stuff snap, is that how it going to be all weekend?"

"Sorry, that does sound bad, doesn't it? How about this? If my friends reject all of my tricks, maybe we can do some movie stuff tomorrow night, OK?"

"Click, click. OMFG, hang up your phone so I can text you, Double D! By the way, I'm already getting pretty good offers on the video. I posted a trailer of, you know, wheelie number one. Click, click."

We left the spot and headed back towards the resort grounds. The difference between having a bully and meeting Derek, is that I wanted to wrap my arm around his as we drove home and not because I would be forced into by Jake. Another nice moment.

Hah, another nice moment was pulling up to my cabin and not having to worry about luring the guys in with tricks and chicken wings. LOL, Jilly had that covered and she had them lined up, I think. And nope, I was going to knock on my own cabin door because if Jilly is such a freak, then she won't mind. Besides, I'm a little curious about Andy anyways. I mean, when they abandoned me and gave me the business for a cross dresser, I couldn't help but to notice that Andy had quite the bulge going on down there. So, you know, let's just see if that was an old sock or what, right?

However, first I had to address Cody, Jacob and Ben, you know, as they stood in line on the front porch of my cabin.

"Well, well, well, look who found my cabin. By the way, I'm still Devin Dee, but my new nickname is Double D. So, what are you guys doing on my cabin's porch? And by another way, my boyfriend, Derek, will be here with hot wings for you and I'll be right out with the rum, coke, limes and ice. Wait here, boys!"

Holy how did that work snap, how the hell did that work? Whatever because it did and stood mute as I snuck into my own cabin.

"Knock, knock, don't mind me. Oh, hello Andy. I see you met Jilly. She makes a wonderful Raspberry Smoothie and apparently, she knows her way around a hard cock. Don't mind me Jilly, I just wanted to confirm that Andy had the biggest dick with in the group. Please, continue while I mix the other guy's cocktails."

Holy I couldn't look away snap, look at those two do it and by that, I mean Andy isn't doing anything, but OMG, look at Jilly work that rod, will you? I mean, wow! Without looking away, I grabbed the mixing tray that I preloaded and stopped to whisper to Andy.

"OMFG Andy, if I wasn't spoken for, I would let Jilly slide that monster in and out of my mouth right now and by that, I mean, I would let her gag me, Andy, signed, your exfriend, Devin Dee sometimes known as Double D."

"Oh, Danny, I mean Devin Dee, I'm really sorry about what happened. OMG, here it comes Jilly!"

Hah, that gave Jilly a mouthful and that gave me the prefect opportunity to leave them alone and address the rest of the guys.

"Alright guys, where do we start? Do you idiots want to start off where we left off or do some of you want to admit that I fill out these capri jeans nicely? Here Cody, have a drink."

"Ah, um, it was, oh, it was all Andy's idea to shun you, yeah, that's right, we followed Andy! You should go kick him in the dick."

"Oh, I see, so the three of you are innocent, right? I mean, Andy just begged me to break up with my boyfriend so he could do me doggie without all the drama of cheating. Here Jacob, a cocktail for you, my good friend."

"Well, I'm innocent and my pants prove it!"

"Oh, is that right Ben? Are you sure that boner isn't because you're waiting for your turn with Jilly? I mean, she's a freak, but I'm guessing that her wet spot is worth waiting for. Here, a cocktail for you Ben and oh look, here comes my boyfriend with some wings for you. Ah, Cody, your turn, I think."