Devotia Ch. 17: Placation

Placation

"Hal Devotia!" Cirene's high and enthusiastic shriek calls out as Callie steps into the modest villa. Cirene pulls her into a quick hug, taking one of Callie's hands in her own.

"Lady Cirene," Callie inclines her head, smiling politely.

"I've missed you," she sighs, hugging Callie once more. "It feels like ages since I've gotten to see you."

"Yeah," Callie murmurs. She hadn't meant to keep Cirene at a distance, but ever since the library banquet where she'd disappeared with Calvin she felt guilty about her actions. But now, with Cirene as one of three people that Callie could see during her probation, it's hard to stay away.

Cirene leads her inside of her new villa. Like Lady Ramquet's, who Cirene was thankfully no longer speaking with, Cirene's home is comfortable and modest for the terms of the nobility. It could still easily house three or four families with room to spare, but it was at least more reasonable than the grand mansions many others in the Hill District possessed.

They settle on the back porch, overlooking a well-kept garden of berry bushes and flowers. The early afternoon sun is carefully held at bay by a pleasant veranda overhang that throws shade over the two of them, as well as a soft breeze through the air. It's so much quieter visiting a villa without a party at hand, and Callie appreciates the soft sounds of birds chirping and the bustle of the city over the hedges.

"How are you, hal Devotia?"

"You can just call me by my name, Cirene," Callie smiles politely.

"How are you, Callie?"

"I'm..." She drifts off, allowing the silence to fill in the gaps in her words. "How much did Magister Velena tell you in her letter?"

"All of it," Cirene looks away, hiding a rosy blush on her face. "More detail than I thought would be needed."

"Right," Callie sighs.

"I'm so sorry, Callie," Cirene directs them to sit down on a comfortable set of cushions on the floor, reclining comfortably amidst the marble columns holding the balcony above them. "It isn't fair that they're punishing you for the actions of a goddess. Not after everything you've done so far. Does it hurt?"

Callie tries to hide the mild embarrassment on her face. "It's more uncomfortable than anything." She crosses her legs, wishing she had been able to wear her plainclothes instead of her Devotia dresses, but the bulge from the cage had made trousers untenable. After a few quiet moments, her guilt pushes her to speak next. "I wanted to apologize to you."

"For what?" Cirene turns around to gently retrieve a bottle of sweet champagne. Callie gratefully accepts a glass, appreciating that Cirene only likes drinks that are sweet and bubbly.

"For the way I acted at the library."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Cirene shakes her head, pouring herself a glass as well. "I'm not going to blame a Devotia for having a vision from Suul."

"I... I didn't have a vision..."

"Oh," Cirene pauses, her brows lowering thoughtfully as she looks back at Callie. "Then... then what happened?"

"I'm in love with Calvin," Callie admits quietly, unable to meet Cirene's gaze. "I was jealous of you and couldn't take it anymore, so I pulled him away from you."

"I... I suspected," Cirene sighs.

"I feel horrible."

"Don't," she grabs one of Callie's hands, squeezing it affectionately. "I understand."

Callie shakes her head. "No, it was rude and disrespectful of me to do that to you. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Cirene frowns sympathetically. "I wouldn't have been making a move on him if I knew."

"I'm a Devotia," Callie replies simply.

"And?"

"No relationships, remember?"

Cirene snorts, covering her mouth with an embarrassed hand and blushing. "That hardly stops anyone, does it?"

"The vast majority of my time is spent worrying about it."

"Really? I'm pretty sure the Devotia in Fairmill has a girlfriend and a common law marriage."

"What?" Callie scowls, unsure if Cirene is serious or not.

"I know it's stricter here in the capital," Cirene shrugs, taking a sip of the sweet champagne and savoring it, "but I just assumed you were taking things slow. Doesn't Junivere have a husband?"

"From before she was Devotia, it's a special exemption," Callie sits forward, trying to piece together Cirene's perspective. "Do people know about the Devotia in Fairmill?"

"He's careful about it, but it's not uncommon knowledge." She looks up, trying to recall some piece of information that's eluding her. "I can't remember his name. Mierr or something like that."

Callie stares at Cirene for a long moment, amused by her confidence and developing charm. "You're really coming into yourself aren't you? You could hardly look me in the eyes when we first met and now..."

"Now I'm the sexy new talk of the town," she flips her golden hair, giggling. "At least in the Hill District, anyway."

"How does Mierr get away with it? Ellava was removed because of it, and Magister Velena keeps threatening me not to follow her path."

"I think it might've caused a fuss at first, but he's a popular Devotia. There isn't much desire to remove him."

Callie frowns. "Ellava was popular..."

Cirene shrugs. "Can I tell you something about the nobility, Callie?" She waits, then explains, "Nothing is ever about the thing it's about."

"It's exhausting."

"It's just how it goes," the girl tells her. "If there were reasons to remove Meirr, and a desire from the right group of people, his relationships would be a convenient reason to do so. But he's beloved, so they don't."

"Doesn't excommunication work the same there?"

Cirene takes a generous sip of wine and makes a soft noise of amusement as she holds her glass casually in her palm. "And here I was, hoping to make out with a Devotia."

Callie feels a pang of embarrassment at her distracted headspace. "Right, of course, I'm sorry." She takes a drink. "You look beautiful."

Cirene giggles and waves her advancement away. "Well it's no fun now that I know your heart's not in it," she complains amusedly. Callie grins with her, grateful. Cirene thinks for a moment, staring out into the garden, and tells her, "I believe the process works the same in Fairmill. Their Imperium is smaller, I think just three Magisters, but it's still a unanimous vote to excommunicate."

Unanimous.

Ellava was removed by a unanimous vote.

Xamner didn't protect her.

She wrestles for a moment with the implications of that knowledge. Despite their assertions that they were working with Ellava, when it came down to it, Dynasa and Xamner could have protected her and chose not to. Why? For a moment, she wonders if they would just as readily dispose of her if the time came for it.

Until, she realizes, the intervention of Yala had changed the equations. Callie is too fascinating, too much of an anomaly, to depose. They'd possibly never have another opportunity to study her new source of magic, nor the different possibilities of Suul's wife intervening in the world.

"So..." Callie muses aloud, "If I'm popular enough, and have support from a few Magisters..."

Cirene sits up and stares at her. "I'm worried where this line-of-thinking is taking you."

"Cirene," she insists, "I am horribly lonely and I can't stand it any longer. I'm supposed to be this reflection of the loves and desires of everyone I meet, but as soon as I have loves and desires of my own, I am expected to somehow quell it."

"I thought you loved being Devotia," Cirene says in a small voice.

Letting her frustrations show even more, Callie mutters, "With the way these goddesses are acting I'm not sure it even matters if I like it." Cirene is quiet, contemplating the depth of feeling coming from her, and Callie decides to charge ahead. "I was lonely for nearly all of my life, and now I'm somehow lonelier as Devotia, despite the fact that I am surrounded by people. But it's like my heart has to be locked away in a glass box."

"That isn't fair to you," she sympathizes.

"And now that Yala has picked me, now that I'm some magical anomaly, resignation is out of the question - which I almost did." She runs her hands through her hair. "It's comply and be lonely and disrespected, or disobey and be excommunicated."

"But, if you could insulate yourself from excommunication..."

Callie nods, "Then there's effectively no rules for me anymore. I'm free."

Cirene looks nervous as she asks, "And what would you do if that was the case?"

"Just... just have Calvin," she exhales longingly. "For real. No limits, no curfews. If I could just have him, all the rest would be manageable." She shakes her head. "But with Velena's restrictions, I can't even see him, and we ended things on a horrible note last time we saw each other."

Cirene sips at her drink. Thinking.

A long moment passes before she seems to come to an agreement, and says, "Would you summon Gloriana for me, please?"

Callie frowns. "You want me to leave?"

"I want to help you."

Callie waits for the noblewoman to explain, but she doesn't. She calls for Gloriana, and after a few moments, the paladin is marching through the garden to join them, saluting as she arrives on the steps of the shaded veranda, her armor clanking pleasantly as she does.

"Hal Devotia," the paladin greets.

"Paladin," Cirene chirps up, "would you request one of my attendants in the house to summon the Knight-Commander for me?"

"Unfortunately, Lady Cirene, hal Devotia is under strict probation," Gloriana replies, nearly apologetic in her tone.

"Technically, I believe she is allotted unsupervised time with myself," Cirene attempts, "but that does not need to negate supervised time with others. With you and I present, what is the harm in them being in the same area?"

"I am unsure if-,"

"Gloriana, you know Callie deserves better than this."

The paladin pauses. Her face seems torn between duty and speaking her mind. "I have orders," she says softly, mournful of the fact.

Callie speaks, trying to gain more and more of her sympathy. "I would appreciate simply getting to tell him I am well."

"Besides," Cirene says insistently, "the Knight-Commander is courting me anyways. It isn't as though anything could happen between Callie and him anymore."

Callie shoots a look at Cirene, trying to read if she is lying or not. To her credit, Cirene's face is impenetrable to observation, remaining steadfast in her conviction to her statement.

Gloriana shuffles in place. "I... I wasn't aware of the news, my Lady."

Cirene waves a hand, as though dismissing her lack of knowledge. "We've only just begun to inform close friends. It's actually why I'm glad to see Callie today, I needed to share the news with her." An expertly timed pause. "You know they have history, Gloriana, but they were never allowed any sort of resolution to it. Allow them this one tiny kindness."

"Please, Gloriana," Callie adds, trying to seem much like a wounded animal.

The paladin considers it for a long breath. "Very well," she sighs. "But I would have to report it to Magister Velena."

"Do you?" Cirene tilts her head to the side, entering the dangerous space of negotiating the bounds of the paladin's duties. "You've seen the good Callie has done as Devotia, know how much she's given up for the sake of the city. Doesn't she deserve this small comfort of privacy?"

Gloriana looks at Callie, pursing her lips. She shifts in place, torn between her sense of strict adherence to duty and her loyalty to the Devotia. Callie had known her to wrestle with the weight of decisions like this - she knows the paladin takes her duties seriously.

The paladin salutes. "At once, hal Devotia," she says, not quite meeting her eyes. She turns and quickly departs.

Callie whips her head over to the noblewoman beside her. "Courting?"

Cirene snorts, picking up her wine glass once more. "We can share," she jokes. "It's an effective cover story. It gives him reason to just happen to be here when you are visiting."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll love this."

- - -

To Callie's surprise, when Gloriana brings the Knight-Commander out to their veranda, she quickly turns away and departs, leaving the three of them alone. She makes a note of that decision, curious by its merciful favor, and resolves to figure out more about it later.

Calvin sees Cirene first. "Lady Cirene, how unexpected to receive your summons. Is something the matt-," and then his eyes land on Callie. "Ahem."

"Calvin..." she says helplessly, caught in the feeling of living that comes from being in his gaze.

"Hal Devotia," he shifts awkwardly. "It's... you look well."

"She isn't," Cirene mutters.

"Cirene!" Callie complains.

The Knight-Commander frowns, worry seeping into his brow as his eyes race over Callie, trying to read her, trying to pick apart where she might be hurting. "What's wrong?"

"I... it's difficult to..." Callie can't find the words, and she looks pitifully over at Cirene.

The noblewoman smirks. "Oh, shall I speak now?"

"Please."

She rolls her eyes and looks up at Calvin. "Callie misses you, but she's been forced into a ridiculous probation and has been barred from seeing you. Even to visit me she requires a paladin escort."

"I hate how we left things the other night," Callie adds weakly.

Calvin steps forward, his head on a swivel as he surveys the surrounding area. With the tone of someone actively on a mission, he whispers, "Is it wise for me to be here?"

Callie feels her insides deflate.

"Is that all you care about?" Cirene scolds.

The Knight-Commander looks taken aback. He stammers, "I... it's..."

"You love her, don't you?" She insists, at Callie's defense.

Calvin holds his tongue, looking down as though he ought not to say the thing he wishes to say. Callie watches each emotion cross through his eyes, his brow, his lips, aching to be in his arms and be told everything would be alright.

"Lady Cirene," he says at last, "might I have a word with Hal Devotia, alone?"

Callie frowns, sighing, "Gloriana wouldn't allow it."

At that, Cirene snorts. "He's Knight-Commander. She is supposed to take his orders, he could dismiss her."

"She's under Magister Velena now," Callie rebuts. Then, with a small voice, utters, "He wouldn't do it, anyway."

"I could step away and cover my ears?"

Calvin releases a mildly exasperated noise. "I can simply cast a noise ward."

"Right, magic," Cirene pips. She rises, crossing to the far end of the veranda and occupying herself with a study of the azalea blooms nearby. Calvin waves a hand, and Callie feels the familiar change in air pressure of a ward fitting into place around her. Calvin kneels in front of her.

She smiles at him, weakly. "Have they told you what happened to me?"

"Only that you're on a break from public life," he shakes his head. His brow lowers, full of concern, and it moves her to see his worry. "What's happened? Are you alright?"

The distance between them is so surpassable now. Just a few feet forward and she would be in his arms, inhaling his scent. Closer, something inside her pleads.

She looks away. "I'm not sure anymore, Calvin." She fidgets with her wine glass in her hand, now empty, running her finger along the rim in circles. "The night I left your apartment, I intended to resign. I, it was probably - it..." She sighs. "I didn't return to the villa. I was just going to run away again."

He looks concerned, his jaw clenching, his shoulders tensing. "I hate to think I helped cause-,"

"It's alright," she forgives. She feels like she could forgive anything if only to have him once more. She purses her lips, wondering if he would believe her next part of the story. "I... a miracle occurred."

His head tilts. "Miracle?"

"Yala appeared to me."

"That's... wow," his eyes widen. He sits back on his haunches, surprised. "What did she say?"

She takes a sharp breath. "I'm her Devotia now." Calvin's jaw hangs open, and she feels sympathy for his confusion, having lived it herself. "June didn't believe me either, but I could perform new magic and everything."

"...could?"

"Probation."

"I see. So... have they..." She sees his eyes flick down to the folds of her skirt, and she feels a bristling embarrassment and wounded pride bounce through her. She nods. "I've heard of that happening to Devotia before. Usually before an excommuni-," he stops himself. "I'm sure you won't be-,"

She interrupts him, unable to handle the stress of the possibility. "Velena won't let me see anyone other than herself, the Magewitch, and a pre-approved list. She resoundingly forbade me from adding you to it."

He glances at Cirene. "Hence the... I see."

"Calvin, I hate that..." She trails off. A prickle of frustration wins out over her self-pity. "I wish you would have just let me stay with you that night. A least for a little while."

"I never want to be the source of trouble for you."

"I wish you would," she pouts, tucking her knees in towards her chest. She takes a long breath, dreading the possibility he might reject her next plan entirely. "Cirene and I have an idea..."

His brow folds into a line. "Is it related to the news she believes I'm courting her?"

"You said you wouldn't be willing to stay the night with me," she says slowly. "Would you be willing to spend it with her?"

- - -

Being poked and prodded by Dynasa, with her assemblages of magical devices, is the only time that Callie is freed from the constraints of the cage. As humiliating as it feels to be studied like she was simply a test subject, she relishes the few moments of freedom it entails.

"So," the Magewitch continues her inquisition, "at the exact moment the Solvavi arcana collapses, and you begin drawing power from the Yalani source, what do you feel?"

"It's colder," she says, struggling to find words for something nearly impossible to describe. "But it's more... there's more depth to it. Where the Solvavi arcana feels like it's bursting out of me, the Yalani source is more like a gentle pull."

"Demonstrate again."

Callie activates a simple ward in front of her, showing off the floating, shimmering glass that is as foundational to this magic as threads are to Suul's.

Dynasa nods, scholarly, to permit her to end it. "And this pull is strongest during the night?"

"It's still strong during the day."

She scribbles a long set of scratches into her notebook, the sound of her quill pricking out around the room. "And when you say she speaks to you, what is it like?"

"It isn't a voice, but there's little nudges here-and-there, guiding me to notice things, even in myself."

The Magewitch frowns cautiously. "Is it creating feelings within you?"

"No," she shakes her head. "It just points to ones that are already there."

"Good." She updates her notes. "Just a few more tests."

After an hour's worth of work, Callie is tired, but not ready to give up the freedom of being out of the cage. Dynasa's experiments end, and she mercifully allows Callie to remain and share a cup of tea before she's forced back into it.

"Mykah has been a superb student," Dynasa tells her. "Talent like his is rare. He's surely going to be in the top five of his class. Might even be a Magister someday."

Callie laughs. "He'd never challenge for a seat."

"He'd be great regardless," she shrugs.

Sipping on her tea, Callie allows her mind to wander back towards the side of itself she's been allowing to plot. Ever since Yala changed everything, she's had this building sense of her need to protect herself, to have contingencies in place to have power over her life.