Devotia Ch. 20: Compersion

20- Compersion

A man has never looked so beautiful as Calvin. Callie is sure of it.

Laying beside her, in the bed that sometimes feels like a prison of formality and status, she can do nothing but stare constantly at him - the rugged perfection of his square jaw, the divots of his dimpled cheeks, the little lines and wrinkles between his pores that show a man who is unafraid to laugh and smile.

And his eyes.

Gods.

Her palm rests on his cheekbone while her thumb runs along the bridge of his brow. Calvin looks as though he could be sleeping more soundly than anyone has ever slept, his lashes mingling together at the base of his closed eyelids. Awake or not, she wishes he'd lift his eyelids and let her watch his breathtaking eyes forever.

Nothing they'd done together could be as intimate as simply lying in bed while the sun slowly sets. The last week she'd insisted he spend every evening within her sheets, meeting the sunset together and marveling at the spectacular transgression it is to be together like this. Her legs are tickled by the hairs on his, her shoulders held dearly by his muscled hands. Her nostrils filled with the soft comfort of his smell.

She takes as many moments between these seconds as she can, wishing she could stretch them out to infinity. To stay here forever, to never be pulled away for anything ever again, surely that's all she needs to be happy.

But she knows it's simply a majesty of feeling. There is work to do.

Callie rouses, bringing her lips to his forehead and waking him with as much gentleness as she can possibly bear. His lashes blink open, adorned with the shining glory of a happy awakening.

His voice is low as it rumbles, "That time already?"

She brings herself in to kiss him sweetly, a hand on either cheek. "All this effort, and I'm still not able to spend the night with you."

Calvin's fingers in her hair prevent her exit. "Stay home, then. Just for tonight."

Gods, I want to.

"I can't," she shakes her head. She frees herself from his hand and rests the back of his palm against her mouth.

It takes him hardly any effort to lift himself over her, guiding her back into the sheets and laying on top of her. A soft, involuntary sound leaves her throat as his mouth meets hers. And when he's pulling his neck back, his eyes make her want to give him anything he could ever desire.

"Take a night for yourself. You deserve it," he insists. His thigh is slipping between hers. "Spend it with me instead."

She fills her lungs with the longing air between them, then her eyes flick to the door. "I really should be out there." And, a little soberly, "I feel like I'll be playing catch up forever."

"You don't have to take it all upon yourself. You have time. You don't need to rush."

A pang of guilt chimes in her chest, thinking of how desperately people had pushed their way to see her on the first night she'd gone out to bring Yala's blessing. Five consecutive nights of it, and the energy had hardly mellowed.

"People need me," she rebuttals.

"People will always need you." With a small shift of his body, Callie is suddenly quite aware of the thoughts in his mind. "For example - me, right now."

"Calvin," she smirks, mockingly annoyed. She lets him see her roll her eyes, and undeterred by the part of her that's already straining to find an excuse to stay, she moves to free herself from his weight.

But Calvin's fingers crawl up the length of her forearms, pulling them up above her head and then tenderly clamping them down into the mattress - and suddenly the arguments to stay find a new compelling offer. He leans forward as he pins her, his lips meeting her neck.

"Hey, beautiful," his voice tickles her ear.

Another little noise leaves her, and Callie has to fight against herself to keep her eyes open and her mind focused.

Maybe I should stay...

So, she grabs hold of her newfound sense of purpose in her work and steals her resolve. She eagerly brings her mouth to his, pouring as much enthusiasm into it as she can while ignoring the straining feeling down at her hips. She makes it a kiss he won't soon forget, full of tongue and pressure and cute noises.

She waits until his own breath rumbles in his chest before pulling back. "Happy?"

His brows furrow seriously. "Not at all. In fact, I just need you more."

She snorts. "Then I'm afraid you'll be bothered and needy all night long." She pouts her lips. "Poor Knight-Commander, you'll never make it."

"Never," he agrees breathlessly. She attempts to escape his grasp, but his palms at her wrists hold her down with more pressure. Callie struggles against his hold and finds herself gaining a reminder once more of how much stronger he really is. She gulps.

"Calvin?"

"Callie," he sighs enthusiastically. And with even more force holding her down, he returns to kissing her neck, slowly moving his way up from the soft edge of her collarbone to her rounded earlobe. His teeth nibble on it playfully and she finds herself squirming in place.

"I really should be going," she protests, a little less assuredly than before.

"I really think you should stay," he contests, bringing his hips down into her own. He lifts them up, only to bring them in once more, slowly grinding against her and sending her head rocking back.

"Calvin," she sighs gloriously.

His stubble tickles her other cheek now, his attention just below her left ear. "I love it when you say my name," he mutters gorgeously.

"I love it when you... mmphf."

She's quickly debating how terrible it would be to stay in for the night. There's no structure for her as Yala's Devotia - her survival of excommunication has left her making up the rules as she sees fit. Perhaps tonight is a night of recovery for the Devotia, perhaps she requires an evening to rest from her duties, to let herself be filled by Yala's purpose.

Filled by something.

A knock at the door interrupts her debate.

"That... that'll be Gloriana," she struggles out.

"Pity you can't make it to the door," he grins, tightening his grasp just to prove the point.

She makes a futile attempt to rise, mostly just to appease the need to make an effort. She can feel his excitement pressing into her, his steady erection playing with her own.

"Calvin," she utters, "I need to... to..."

Her lips split open with a sound from deep in her chest, and it takes effort to clamp it down and not give it breath. She tries to bring her hands to cover her mouth, forgetting hers are currently pinned beyond her control. Calvin shifts her wrists together, and in a mildly embarrassing moment for her, successfully restrains her with only one of his hands.

"Do you think I can get you to moan loud enough for her to hear you?" He teases.

"Yes," she complains, just as his newly freed hand drifts a finger down her sternum. With a begrudging feeling of want, she whispers, "Don't make me use magic to get you off of me."

His finger sparkles with a silvery, reflective twirl. "Don't make me use magic to get you off," he chuckles smartly.

Callie laughs with him, only to find herself interrupted by a gasp as he pinches one of her nipples, taking hold of the hard skin and causing her to shiver delightedly.

Another knock at the door.

She forces herself to remain composed, to make a final, valiant effort to resist her need for him. "Let me get the door so she doesn't worry."

He holds her steady. "Promise you'll send her away and stay with me."

She rolls her eyes and kisses him. She sighs. "I promise. Happy?"

"Very," he rumbles approvingly.

And he finally releases her, allowing Callie to bring herself out of the sheets and march to the door. She fixes her dress as she goes, then grins mischievously and tosses a look back to him. "I lied."

A flash of distress crosses his face and she giggles at it, racing to the door before he can stop her and throwing it open.

Where she expects the glinting steel of Gloriana's armor, she's met instead with the familiar folds of a dress that matches her own.

"Hey, Cal."

"June. I thought you were Gloriana." She pokes her head out of the doorway, glancing up and down to confirm the paladin is nowhere in sight. Callie shrugs, placing a pleasantly surprised warmth on her face as it meets Junivere's. She's just about to ask how she's doing when her fellow Devotia asserts -

"I don't think you should go out there tonight."

The previous warmth leaves Callie's face. "I'm going."

"Please, don't," Junivere's arms cross over her chest. Not quite upset. Not quite impatient. But something.

"Why not?" She furrows her brow, then turns to give Calvin a stare filled with suspicion. "Why are you both trying to keep me home tonight? Did June put you up to this?"

Junivere sighs, also frowning at Calvin. "You couldn't convince her?"

He sits up. "I tried to seduce her. In my defense, that's never not worked."

Callie shifts her focus between the two of them, impatient for an explanation of why they've conspired together. "What is going on?"

Junivere makes a displeased noise and steps inside, carefully closing the door behind her and ensuring it shuts tightly. She takes one of Callie's hands and pulls her further into the room.

From the bed, Calvin asks, "Should I leave-,"

"No," Junivere resolves. "She's so stubborn I might need your help."

She guides Callie down onto the side of the bed, sitting her beside Calvin, and stands before the two of them. She has a gloomy air about her, a sort of displeasure Junivere often reserved for tasks she disliked - going to the theater, for instance, or cooking. Or cleaning. Or... well, really any chore. Callie supposes she'd had her fair share before her anointing.

"Are you going to finally explain?"

Junivere purses her lips. Takes a step back, then one forward. "Callie." A Pause. "From my very first day in Solva, I have warned you that Devotia are constantly under threat. They have enemies," she says imperatively. A breath. "I'm worried for your safety."

Callie considers her, surprised by how much anxiety has disrupted Junivere's typically iron-clad composure. "I'll have Gloriana and the priestesses," she replies, not sharing her concern. And the goddess.

"I just think you need to consider-,"

"And excommunication isn't a threat anymore," Callie supplies, adding to her case. "Hamada and Baris will vote to protect me if anyone tries."

Junivere takes Callie's hands, both of them, and holds them like they might break. Her grip tightens nervously, and Callie's surprised to feel them clammy and almost trembling. Junivere's voice is careful as she asks Calvin, "Have you told her yet?"

"No," he deflates into a shared fear. "I thought it best not to."

Callie tries to pull her hands away from Junivere, wishing to stare them both down once more, but the fellow Devotia holds fast, unwavering in her attempt to meet Callie's eyes.

"Velena challenged Xamner."

Shit.

Callie swallows, a heavy feeling in her chest. "Who won?"

Junivere shakes her head. "Xamner was clever. He had Dynasa challenge him and set a time before Velena's, then he surrendered immediately." A tense beat. "Then Dynasa challenged Velena."

A low exhale escapes Callie. "Can a Magewitch be a Magister, too?"

"I don't think anyone knows. There's no precedent for any of this."

"Who won?"

Junivere squeezes her hands. "That's why I-," a glance to Calvin, "we, want you home tonight. They're dueling at midnight."

Callie frowns deeper. "Suul's magic doesn't-,"

"Some of it does. Just a little." And then she releases a sigh. "And then there's things like threaded scrolls, trick's like Hamada's tattoos. They still work."

"Dynasa knows she can't beat Velena outright..."

Calvin nods in agreement. "But at night, she stands a slim chance."

Callie tries to imagine it - what brilliant and frightening tricks the two mages would develop in the hours until then. She's never considered anything like Hamada's tattoos, but they were astounding, unlike any magic she's ever seen before. Truly, all of the magic from their duel was simultaneously fascinating and terrifying.

"I don't see why I have to stay at home," Callie concludes, dropping Junivere's hands and tucking her legs underneath herself. "If something as important as this is happening, it would be good for me to be there, for the city."

Junivere and Calvin share a look. A conversation passes between their glance, one filled with shame and an awkward responsibility. Calvin hangs his head.

"What?" Callie tries to meet his eyes. "What is it?"

He gestures for Junivere, who accepts the task. "Callie..." And in her tone, Callie can already feel her concern, an accompanying pang of guilt responding in her chest. "...Did you find a way to bless Magister Hamada during her duel?"

Callie shoves away the condemning weight inside her gut. "Blessings can't happen at that range," she deflects. "Besides, Magisters are forbidden from receiving them."

Junivere closes her eyes, and Callie can tell her lie was more transparent than she'd hoped. She can feel the whispers of disappointment and worry from them both. Mercifully, Junivere replies, "I'm going to choose to believe you." A beat. "But Hamada, Velena, and Dynasa all think you did it."

Fuck.

And at that, Callie feels the harsh grasp of gravity upon her. "Oh. Oh, no."

"If you were present at this duel tonight... it could pose another legitimacy crisis." She drops her shoulders. "Or worse, one of them could find a way and force a blessing from you before it."

"And then one of them steps in at midnight with unmatched power," Calvin completes.

"It would go badly, Callie. Really badly."

She'd hoped the Magisters would accept the Knight-Captain's ruling of divine intervention as fact, and that her intervention would be dismissed. But if all of them knew she had... and had spent days considering its effects...

Who's to say what they might prepare in response?

So, Callie nods, slowly and somberly. "I get it," she says mournfully. "I'm convinced. I'll stay."

The two of them share a breath of relief. And then Junivere is leaning in to kiss her forehead, uttering a relieved, "Thank you," just as Calvin is taking her hand and also whispering, "Thank you."

They both awkwardly retreat from the moment, embarrassed to have the same feeling of priority over Callie's emotions.

"Sorry-,"

"No that's-,"

"I didn't mean to-,"

"It was your moment and I-,"

A puff of delight bounces around in Callie's chest, watching them step on each other's toes at their affection for her. This is the best thing I've ever seen.

Junivere huffs, holding out her hands to stop them both. "This is your time to be with her," she tells Calvin. "I'm sorry to intrude."

But the Knight-Commander shakes his head. "I've been with her all afternoon. You should get time with her, if you want."

And Callie takes hold of both of their hands, squeezing them with a playful smirk upon her face. Quietly, she's chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Junivere snorts and throws a palm against Callie's sternum, shoving her into the bed with a casual disregard. She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms back over her chest as she faces Callie. "I only make out with you."

Callie's already rebutting, "You make out with tons of people-,"

"For the goddess. I only kiss you and Silas, sometimes, for pleasure." Her gaze shifts to Calvin, where she shrugs and adds, "I mean no disrespect - she speaks highly of your aptitude."

"And yours," he chokes out, stifling a chuckle. "No disrespect taken."

Beaming, and allowing her delight at their shared affections for her to cover over the prickles of fear in the back of her mind, Callie leaps up to her feet. She marches a few steps past Junivere, angling for the door, and over her shoulder quips, "Well, there's only one thing that could convince me to stay. Otherwise, I ought to summon Gloriana."

This elicits another low sigh from Junivere. "Callie..." A beat. "Calvin, I'm sorry about this."

Turning with delight, eager to see the two of them finally kiss, Callie releases a surprised yelp. She feels herself lurching back towards the bed as a familiar wrapping of golden light tightens across her form. Her arms are wretched to her sides and tied down with the magical tendrils, her legs bound and bent. Junivere deposits her face down into the sheets.

"Not what I was expecting," Calvin muses.

"She'll enjoy it just as much."

"Really?"

Junivere pips up excitedly. "You haven't tried? She adores being tied up."

"You've had far more time with her," Calvin explains. He shifts on the bed, resting his back into the bedpost while Junivere stands and watches Callie struggle against the cords. "When we're together, the sex is usually more focused on romance - about how we feel about one another."

"Cute."

Callie fights to look at the two of them, feeling herself drop deeper into her planning of how to make this happen with all of them. She's just about to give it another go to convince them, when Junivere reads her expression and adjusts the ropes to gag her mouth - twisting her hand delicately to do so. Callie squirms as the cords squeeze her, and Junivere grins.

Calvin's fingers tug at one of the bindings around Callie's legs, slipping underneath them and investigating their strength. "How do you have so much control of them?"

"Practice."

"Ah." Calvin's blushing at the implications as Callie meets his eyes. "I've practiced threadbeams plenty at the college and as a paladin, and I've never had this level of control."

"I'm using them for rather different purposes than a knight," Junivere muses. Then, in a low and suggestive tone, adds, "Well, most knights." She smirks, proud of herself.

Callie shuffles herself to a position on her back where she can lift her head up and see either of them. Junivere regards her with a thoughtful stare, always watching her carefully to ensure she's enjoying the experience. Callie knows her trained eyes are studiously measuring every knot and every bend of the cords to ensure she doesn't need to quickly dispel them.

A glance at Calvin reveals an impressed curiosity, poking around at the threadbeams and studying their effectiveness. His eyes flick to hers briefly and she finds herself flushing at the lewd thoughts brightening his irises.

Callie finds herself desperately imagining both of their hands upon her - Junivere's soft and precise; Calvin's powerful and warm.

"This is..."

"Weird, yes," Calvin agrees, clearing his throat. He releases a breath, removing his fingers from the ropes and turning back to Junivere, who remains a few steps back from the bed. "I feel as though I know so much about you, though I've hardly spoken to you." And, patting Callie's leg like she is a borrowed piece of equipment, he adds, "Thank you, uh, for not letting her be too lonely at night."

Is he... insecure around her?

Callie nearly giggles with delight. Calvin is nervous around Junivere.

He must think she's better than him.

And Junivere replies with an uncharacteristic bashfulness, grabbing her elbow with her palm and looking away. "And thank you for teaching her that she could be desired." She glances at the floor. "She speaks constantly of how your love has restored her faith in her ability to be loved. To be accepted."

By the goddesses, they're both insecure about each other.

Callie feels a gleeful bubbling in her chest, astounded that either could feel nervous about their relationships with her. They'd hardly interacted with her together, and now, when confronted with the reality that they both love her, both of them are worried she likes the other better.