Diagnosing a Fetish Ch. 08

"We don't have to do this you know."

"We don't have to do anything. I want to do this. I want to do it with you." Saying those words - to Kat no less - felt nearly impossible. Pursuing a woman sexually was something I had never considered before, especially not my neighbor. Now, however, with her sitting on my bed, shirt pulled off and only a black, lace bra covering her otherwise naked torso, it felt so right. Watching Kat's body react as I ran my hands against her bare skin, her chest flushing red either from embarrassment or arousal. Regardless, her heavy breathing and gentle nibbling of her lower lip told me everything I needed to know; she wanted this. Any hesitance was for my sake, for fear of sending me down another spiral.

"I want to do it, too. I just... for your sake..."

She confirmed my suspicions, but I didn't let her finish. My lips quickly found her as I pulled her into a kiss. With my tongue in her mouth, she wouldn't be able to get out the final words of her sentence. The words that might snap me out of whatever this was and bring everything crashing down. This was much nicer anyway; her face so close to mine, the feeling of the warm air coming from her nose as she breathed. She smelled good, too. Like warm spices - cinnamon, maybe. I think it fit her well. A calming scent that reminded of you home, of comfort. Comfort. That was Kat to a tee.

While she kept her hands on my head, I let mine explore; I always did have a problem sitting still. I started at her butt, tracing the upper curve of her cheeks as I moved upwards, stopping once I found the clasp to her bra. It was easy enough to separate the metal hooks, causing the bra to slip from her chest and land between the two of us. Her reaction was minimal at first, with almost no recognition that I had done anything at all. When I gripped the two mounds of flesh in my hands, however, a sharp inhale escaped Kat's lips, followed by a slow, quiet moan as I began massaging.

Her breasts were smaller than mine, but not much. They were a nice size; a good handful but not enough to result in back pain. I couldn't help but momentarily break the kiss to get a good look at them. After all, this was the first time I had seen her without clothes on. This was the first time I had seen any woman without clothes on. In person, anyway; porn was different. That was an odd realization, to be honest. Kat was the first woman I had seen naked. It was difficult to express how that made me feel. Proud, maybe? Good, at the very least. I didn't get much time to think, however, as Kat quickly resumed the kissing.

I still wasn't positive that I liked women, but I liked this. I liked Kat. Maybe she was the exception to the rule. I'm sure Dr. Morse would disagree. Point out the repeating pattern of my attraction to women, how I was aroused by the porn she made me watch. But that was porn; it was supposed to turn you on. Besides, I was doing what she wanted me to do. She told me to pursue Kat. Or at least I think she did. At a minimum, it was implied. And in this moment, I'm glad I did. Everything felt so right; the way she was holding me, the way her lips felt against mine, the way her body tensed and shook as I teased her nipples. It felt good to make someone else feel this way.

I guess for Kat, though, this wasn't enough. The kissing had apparently grown stale as she was the one to now break the connection, pushing me down on the bed and straddling my body. It was a surprise to be sure, but not an unwelcome one. From this angle, I got a front-row seat to her panties - the same color and style as her bra. They weren't quite a thong - maybe more bikini style - but they left little to the imagination. Pulled tight, her puffy labia framed either side of the crotch which, in and of itself, didn't cover much, the sheer fabric giving a peak at her dark brown slit below. I could see it glistening, her entrance coated with her juices.

With my face only inches away, I could smell it, too. There was a slightly sharp aroma, but it was mostly musk - natural pheromones that were driving me crazy. It was similar to how a person smelled after the gym, but perhaps less harsh. Regardless, I wanted to dive in and taste another woman, I wanted to taste Kat. I had licked my fingers clean once or twice after masturbating, but I knew this would be different. Just from the look and smell of Kat's pussy, I knew it would taste divine. Like ice cream or candy; nothing like my own.

When she moved her panties to the side, it was almost too much to take. Without the barrier, I could fully appreciate Kat's perfect vulva. Her clit was relatively large and stood prominently above her opening. Below it, her labia majora were puffy and framed her vagina in a perfect diamond. Her labia minora were almost unidentifiable, their dark brown color the only thing allowing them to be distinguished from Kat's vibrant pink interior. And, as was apparent through her panties, she was absolutely drenched. Most of it was a translucent sheen between her labia, but a small trail of white cream was also leading down towards her sphincter.

"Still good?" she breathed, her voice getting caught in her throat slightly. It was clear she was desperate for my touch, for my tongue to dive into her slit, but she wasn't trying to rush into things. She was still worried about me, worried if I truly wanted this.

And I did. In that moment I wanted her more than anything else in the world. I wanted to latch onto her sex and never let go. I wanted to drink her sweet nectar. I wanted her to feel amazing, and I wanted to be the one who made it happen. She deserved this, even more so after having to deal with me for months on end. And - even if I didn't want to admit it - I needed this. I needed to finally accept who I was, and Kat was the woman I needed to do it with.

"Please." I swallowed the lump in my throat, locking my eyes with hers, deep brown and full of want. "I want this so bad; please just let me taste you."

Kat considered it, for a second, her head tilting to the side as she studied me. "Not yet," she answered, "Not like this."

I was ready to beg, to do anything she wanted me to, but Kat didn't give me a chance. She didn't wait for the go-ahead this time, instead just jumping in head first. I almost couldn't believe what was happening in front of me; somehow it seemed impossible. But, sure enough, I watched as she spread her slick lips and her urethra opened. It was as if time slowed as the stream started, the golden liquid first just trickling out before slowly rising in a shallow arc. My neck was coated first before she was able to adjust my aim, her stream now colliding with my cheeks and mouth.

It was warm - almost excruciatingly so - and unlike anything I had ever experienced. Even when I had peed on my own face in the shower, it wasn't anything like this. For one, I could see where the pee was coming from this time. And two, it was from Kat. It was from a gorgeous, nice, amazing woman whose perfect vagina was only inches from my face coating it in her piss. It sounded insane, but this was more romantic and special than anything I had experienced in my past relationships. This was one of the most private things a person could do, and she was doing it in front of me, no, on me. On my face, in my mouth.

As her stream came to a slow conclusion, Kat didn't give me a second to breathe before she spun around. Still keeping me pinned to the bed, her ass was now in my face while her hands explored my legs. I could feel her fingers trace down my thighs, pausing occasionally to squeeze and massage my flesh before moving on. They came to rest - unsurprisingly - on either side of my slit. Not that I could see it, however, as my vision was currently being eclipsed by her perfect, perky ass. I wanted so desperately to spread her cheeks apart and taste her, all of her. But she unfortunately wouldn't let me, her ass hanging just out of reach from my extended tongue.

For now, I was just her plaything. I could feel her breath on my pussy as she squeezed my labia together. There was a puddle of juice below me - I was sure of it - and Kat was seemingly entranced. Her touches were gentle but precise, her fingers doing their best to milk out every last drop of cum from my drenched hole. It was like I was her specimen, pinned to the examination table for her to inspect, and it was killing me. My body was screaming to be touched, my mouth practically watering at just the idea. "Please," I begged, so desperate that it was almost pathetic. But I didn't care; I needed this so badly.

And when her finger finally slid inside my waiting slit, I was in rapture. Her touch was soft and feminine, unlike anything I had experienced before. I felt cared for, truly cared for, for the first time in my life as the room echoed with the wet sound of her index rhythmically pumping in and out of my hole. She could have made me cum in seconds; I was sure of it. I could tell that the occasional grazing of my g-spot or pressure on my clit from her thumb was an intentional teasing. I was her plaything tonight. Everything and anything she wanted to do with me, she would. My pleasure didn't come first, hers did. Fortunately for me, her pleasure came from playing with me.

"Hm, I don't think this is enough, do you?"

It was as if she was right beside my head, her husky voice whispering such a teasing line directly in my ear. I was positive that, if I turned to the left just slightly, I would see her teasing face. Her deep, passionate gaze burned into mine.

"I asked a question."

The statement was harsh, though her tone was anything but. It was soft, almost maternal like she was looking after me. "No, it's not enough. Please, give me more."

"Good girl."

I was expecting another finger in my sopping pussy, but that wasn't Kat's plan. Instead, I felt a gentle pressure at the entrance to my backdoor, her finger teasing me as she pushed against my tensed sphincter. "Not there," I gasped, my body recoiling at the suggestion, but only managing to move an inch or two under Kat's weight.

"Yes, there," she replied, seemingly unphased by my pleas, "Relax or this is going to hurt way more."

I tried my best to heed her warning, but anticipation mixed with fear made it a difficult task to manage. I could tell that something had changed inside of Kat, her calm, caring side replaced with one of dominance. She was still well aware of my current situation and was being careful not to push it too far, but I could see some of her true desires starting to leak through the cracks. This was more than evident as she continued to push her finger against my tightened sphincter. I could feel moisture running down it - her spit, I assumed - but it was still not an easy task for her to get inside of me.

It took the tip of her finger finally squeezing its way in before pain slipped to pleasure and my sphincter loosened. The rest of her digit slid easily inside, Kat meeting no resistance as she buried herself deep in my filthy hole. "See, we got there in the end," she whispered in my ear, toting her position of power as she kept both fingers inside of me painfully still. I was hers. I shouldn't have to remind myself, but I did. Because I couldn't quite believe it. I couldn't believe that this was really happening, that she would be willing to do this to me. To do this with me.

After so long, I finally felt good.

So of course it wasn't real - the good stuff rarely was.

I woke up with my face against my mattress and in a pool of what I assumed to be my own saliva. The sheets had been kicked off at some point during the night, and my pillow was missing. I wasn't surprised to find my hand buried in my pants or to see the wet, sticky sheen that coated my fingers when I removed it. The dream held heavy in my mind. How couldn't it? It was the first time in the last six months that I was angry a dream ended. It was amazing, and that terrified me. The things I dreamt about doing. The things I dreamt about doing with Kat.

I wasn't able to think about it too much longer, however, as I quickly figured out it was that woke me in the first place. Though quiet, a distinct sound of knocking echoed through my apartment; someone was at my door. A sudden panic ripped through my body as my hands quickly shot to the crotch of my pants, but I was relieved to find them dry. Well, relatively dry. The crotch was coated with a not insignificant amount of my pussy juice, but it fortunately didn't show through. So, with resignation, I crawled out of bed and made my way to the front door.

"Hey! Oh, sorry, I didn't wake you up, did I?"

I was happy to discover that Kat was the sound of the knocking; maybe too happy. Sure, part of it was me feeling relieved that a stranger wouldn't see me looking like shit in my ratty pajamas. But I also couldn't deny the warmth that grew in my chest when I saw her face, a mix of concern and warmth. She looked good. Even without makeup and in her workout clothes she looked good. This isn't real Mallory. It's hormones or something. She's just the first person you've seen after that... interesting dream. I repeated the words in my head, ignoring the fact that she was the one in the dream and that this reaction was perhaps more than surface level.

"Mallory? You good?" When her hand fell on my shoulder - her attempt to jostle me awake - I nearly melted into the floor.

"Yeah, I just woke up. Still a little out of it," I replied with little tact.

"I can tell. Seriously though, sorry if my knocking woke you up."

"Don't worry about it; I needed to wake up anyway." It would have been better if you woke me up after my dream, though.

"Well, I was coming over here to see if you wanted to go for a run, but... maybe not. I guess I sometimes forget that you don't have to wake up early for work. Must be nice," she began to chuckle before her face quickly turned serious, perhaps concerned that she had in some way offended me. "Not like... sorry. I know working is difficult for you. Well, not difficult, of course. Just... right now's not a good time. Still, there are benefits, staying home," she floundered.

"It's OK Kat, you didn't say anything wrong." Her face turned a subtle shade of red at my response. It was cute, in a way. Don't think that. I had to remind myself that she was just my neighbor, nothing more. Despite what may have happened in my dreams. Wait, was that why she was so nervous? Because she could tell I was reacting to her differently? I tried not to think about it and move past the subject, "But no, I'm going to pass on the run."

"Sorry," she hesitated, turning to leave before seemingly thinking better of it, "Maybe we could do something tonight if you're free."

If I'm free. She basically said it herself; I don't do anything. The suggestion that my night might be occupied was laughable, from Kat especially. Of course, I was free. "Um, I guess. Pizza again?"

"Oh, I... I was thinking maybe we could go out somewhere. You know, Friday night, go to a nice restaurant or something? Don't worry, I'm not suggesting we go to like a bar or club; that's not my scene." Maybe she sensed my hesitancy - or could tell from my face - because she was quick to give me an out, "Or we can do pizza."

"No, we can... um... we can out. If you want."

Kat frowned, "Mallory, you don't have to push yourself if you don't want to. I want us both to have fun; otherwise, I wouldn't invite you to hang out."

"It's OK; getting out will be good for me," I forced a smile. It was probably true, but still far from something I wanted to do. Having Kat there would maybe make it tolerable, however. Or much worse. If something were to go wrong - or I embarrassed myself horribly - there would be no hiding it from her. Although, Kat was one of the few people who knew nearly everything that I had been going through. Nearly. I hadn't told her everything, and I had been telling her less recently. For one, she didn't know how far my... desires went. Or that I was going to Dr. Morse again starting today. I guess there was still more for her to learn, and therefore more for me to embarrass myself with in public.

"Well, if you're sure." She was still hesitant - her response was evidence enough for that conclusion - but her mood did seem to shift when I accepted her invitation. "We can leave around 6:00. I know a spot downtown that isn't bad, we can go get dinner and then come back. Nice and simple."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Well. I guess I'll see you then. Unless you've changed your mind about the run?" Kat asked, mostly joking.

"No, still not interested. Thanks again, though."

With a casual wave, she headed towards the stairwell, leaving me to slink back into my apartment. The sun was just starting to leak in through my blinds and, checking the clock on my microwave as I passed the kitchen, I confirmed it was still early enough to go back to bed for a bit before having to leave for my appointment. But I knew it would be a waste of time; any chances I had of falling asleep were greatly diminishing. If I was being honest, the possibility of continuing my dream was the real draw, but that was even less likely to happen - as much as I wanted to.

Why did I want it to?

Obviously, I knew why. I'd already gone through this earlier; I was just going in circles now, trying to find some plausible deniability. Unfortunately, the simplest answer was true. I liked picturing myself with Kat in that... scenario. I liked making her feel good. Or, at least, I liked to imagine that I did. If I was to do it with her for real... I honestly didn't know if I could. In theory, sure, it sounded great. In practice, would I enjoy it? I mean, at the very least I would have no idea what to do, so I doubt any positive feelings would be quite one-sided. I didn't know how to pleasure a woman; I could barely get myself off. Did Kat?

I tried to ignore the question I posed myself as I shuffled towards the bathroom, though it wasn't so easy. Stripping off my clothes, I let them fall into a heap before stepping into the shower. Yanking the curtain closed, I ran the water until it warmed up before angling the shower head towards my body. Leaning against the back tiled wall, I let the water spray against my bare skin, the warmth both comforting and highly appreciated.

Did Kat know how to make another woman cum?

I couldn't let the question go, nor could I so quickly forget my dream. The things she did to me. The things I imagined she did to me, I reminded myself. I wanted that to happen. At least, I did subconsciously. My hands ran down my naked body on their own volition, exploring damp flesh as I struggled to remember every detail of the dream, every emotion I felt during it. If I closed my eyes, I could see her above me again, Kat's naked body straddling my chest, pussy inches from my mouth. I tried to remember the taste of her urine, what that was like. But unfortunately, my imagination could only go so far.

Regardless, one hand massaged my breast while the other slid between my legs. It was Kat. She was doing this to me. Playing with me in the shower; I was at her will. I gasped when my two fingers pushed past my labia and into my body. Even without the water from the shower, there was more than enough moisture for them to be thoroughly lubricated. The pleasure was almost excruciating as I unabashedly fucked myself. I didn't stifle my moans or try to stop myself. I didn't overthink it.

My mind flashed back to the dream once more, the way Kat played with my ass. Just the thought was enough to nearly push me to the edge, but I held off. I needed to feel that for real, even if it wasn't Kat doing it. I pried my hand from my chest, sucking briefly on my index as I thought about my new goal. The spit was perhaps not needed, but it turned me on even more as I lined up my dripping finger with my asshole. Just like my dream, the skin around it was pulled tight, my sphincter still not quite sure about the prospect of penetration. But I was. After all, I had done this before, just never while fantasizing about it being my neighbor violating me.