Diaries of a Dark Princess Pt. 07

25^th Day of Moonfall, Year 879 of the Age of Shadow (very early)

The others slumber in blissful, ignorant sleep. I have returned from my meeting with my father.

The silent, great-helmed elite warriors of his Shadow Guard did not speak to me beyond delivering his summons. This is of course standard protocol for them; and yet as they marched beside me, silent and ominous, I felt for the first time a stirring of fear. I had left Samuel asleep- naked and obviously sated- on my bed. Our activities would have been obvious to anyone who had entered my room; and now that I think about it, how was I to know that it had been Sinistoria alone who had been spying on my amorous activities of late? How many other people had witnessed my raunchy rutting with the mighty muscular hero? Did others whisper that the most Dark and Potent Princess was little more than a slattern, mindlessly opening her pale legs? And to a man who had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, just as the Hero of Prophecy had surfaced in the region?

How stupid, how thoughtless was I, that I believed I could escape the notice of my cunning and clever father, the Dark Emperor himself?

And so I steeled myself. Considered my options. Thought about lying; thought about begging; thought about accepting my fate. A dozen plans, a dozen hopeless schemes or bitter moments of acceptance flashed through my head as I walked through the palace towards my father's chambers.

I was admitted in. The guards waited outside. Because my father trusted me, or because he did not wish the full scope of my crimes to become known to the rest of the world? I supposed that I would find out soon.

He sat at his desk, dressed as always in his dark armor. His eyes burned red through the slits in his great helm. He loomed, as befit a man of his immense stature and power, over me and for a moment I thought about dropping to my knees and pleading for mercy; to admitting everything and simply waiting for his inevitable punishment. I wondered if he could smell the scents of lovemaking on me; know that his precious little daughter had love-bites on her breasts, the taste of another woman's quim on her breath and a man's seed staining her inner thighs. He must know. He must know and he would incinerate me-

At last he spoke. "I have had disturbing dreams of late."

"Yes, your Dark Majesty." Strange that my dreams had stopped. Or perhaps they had continued and my life had changed so much that they were no longer of any consequence or comment. Something to ruminate on if I survived this meeting.

He continued in a rumbling growl. "Dreams of infection. Of corruption. Not the cold, steady spread of despair and fear, as it should be; nor the clean burn of ambition. No. This was a soft, weak rot that spread throughout my Empire; an awful, burning fever eating away all that makes us strong. And I dream of you, my daughter. Why might that be, do you think?"

A lifetime of treachery, of paranoia, had trained me- prepared me- for what happened next. I raised my head and smiled at him; savage and cruel and cold. "It is because," I said, "I am the one who will help you to end this threat. I am the one who has been placed to aid you in overcoming this vile, pathetic disease."

"I wonder." He stared at me for a long time. He rose and I could not fail to notice how slowly he moved, how his breath was labored underneath the dark god-forged armor he always wore. He paced around me. "You look different. You feel different."

"I am growing stronger every day-"

"No. You have changed." One hand rested upon my neck and I could not help but flinch. I raised my eyes to stare up and-

Agony lanced through me. I did not scream, nor bite my tongue as pain flared throughout my being, but he must have surely felt the way my muscles tensed, the way my body trembled. It screamed at the wrongness of the sensations; at the cold, lancing pain that thrashed and skittered inside of me when it deserved pleasure. But worse was the pain was the shock. He had never hurt me like that before. He had pushed me, he had driven me to hurt myself in the pursuit of excellence, he had punished me for failure, but he had never hurt me for the sake of it. He-

"I wonder," he said, "if you are still useful to me. I wonder if you remember that our power comes from our cruelty. Our rejection of love, of mercy, of pity. Of our willingness to inflict misery. If so, if you are so stupid to have forgotten this one simple rule... why would I suffer your continued existence?"

I looked up to find my father looking at me like... like a tool. A useful tool, a favored tool; but now a tool had been found flawed, one that he might need to discard and destroy. For a moment I wanted to protest; to beg him to remember that I was his daughter; that he should not look at me that way...

And then the awful, horrible realization struck; a cascade of unwanted, half-forgotten understandings that-

That he had never really looked at me any other way.

He turned away. "I want the Hero of Prophecy found and killed."

"But your majesty, perhaps he might be of value once-"

"No. No, he is at the center of this threat. I can feel it. Kill him."

"I understand and obey, your Majesty." Samuel's smile flashed into my mind.

"And anyone who has had any sort of contact with him."

"I understand and obey, your Majesty." Shadra's soft, shy smile. Her hands gently clasped around mine.

"Isolate the princess too. Do not have any further contact with her beyond what is necessary. Once the ceremony is over we will kill her and be done with it."

"I understand and obey, your Majesty."

"Now go. Find the Hero. You have until the day of the ceremony to do so, or else..."

I raised my eyes and stared into his own.

"I understand," I said, "Your Dark Majesty."

I rose and left.

***

I have not woken the others. Not told them of what happened. Not shared my horror, my fears.

This is because I know what needs to be done.

They are sleeping on my bed right now. It would be the work of a few seconds to conjure a killing spell. To slay them both. Turn them into ash. Disperse the remains. Tell everyone about how my assassin ran off with my bodyguard; how good help was unreliable, how I should never have trusted a beast-girl, etc. etc. etc.. Wait a week or so and then present some fake hero up for sacrifice. It is the smart thing to do. It is the familiar thing to do. It is, really, the only thing to do.

And I am not going to do it.

I would like to say that I would not do it because there are flaws in the plan; because the two people slumbering in my bed were incredibly valuable resources; because I had my own schemes that require their continued existence to work. And perhaps I might, at some other time, manage to convince myself that this is the case. But it is not.

I am not going to dispose of them because I want them. No, I need them.

These last few weeks have been a divination of sorts. A painful revelation, a tearing of long-grown scales away from my eyes. I have learned something about myself- something incredibly valuable, something deeply disturbing. Something that I cannot unlearn.

I am lonely. I think that I have always been lonely. Horribly, painfully lonely. No friends, no lovers, no-one that I could trust, no-one that I could really talk to-

-until that silly peasant boy entered my life, until my loyal minion turned into something more, until I knew what it meant to talk to people about nothing, until... until I really understood what I had been missing. Until I understood what I needed, desperately ached for...

It's not just the sex (although it is most certainly also the sex, with the warmth of another's touch, the raw waves of pleasure brough on through the efforts of another, the pride at seeing them shudder under my ministrations). Samuel was picked by gods inimical to our family to be our destined enemy. He has no reason to help me, to be trusted by me, to be nice to me. And yet he has acted time and time again with nothing but sweetness, honesty and kindness to me- me, the daughter of the Dark Emperor himself! Who threatened and imprisoned him! And Shadra...

Shadra, who has spent years in my service, silently faithful, always feeling far more for me than mere loyalty...

The idea of killing them is horrific in a way that I could never have conceived a month ago. The idea of losing them... just as awful. And so I will not lose them.

I must not lose them.

I cannot lose them.

But how? It is one thing to subvert my sister. But my father is a decidedly more daunting prospect. I have a matter of weeks to provide for him one dead Hero of Prophecy, lest I be...I mean...

I mean, he would do it, wouldn't he? He's always told me, he's always told me that our family is sharpened through conflict, through violence, through internal culling. I know this. I've always known this but it never, until today, full grasped it; never really thought it would apply to me.

...I need to think. I need to talk to someone. Someone who could listen and understand what I am going through. But not my two lovers-

-oh, such a lethally loaded word, that-

-but there is no-one else, is there?

No one except you, of course. And you are just a book.

(I suppose I could make you the focus of a dread and terrible ritual to imbue you with a nightmarish sentience, but honestly that will probably just make things worse).

***

25^th Day of Moonfall, Year 879 of the Age of Shadow

Dear Diary,

It is later. The others have roused; I have not shared with them my fears. For now my plan- plans- continue as per normal.

Which means that I have visited the Princess Hopestra.

I knocked on the door before entering. The small blonde girl looked up at me. She was wearing a dress of pale white with red trimmings, and I took a moment to stare at her pretty little form as she lay supine against the delicate silken sheets. It was a strange thing, I mused. It was rather unlikely that any fate that we had in store for her would be kind- but to know with absolute certainty that she was going to be killed, to be struck down the moment her holy light had been harvested from her soul, it sat with me wrong. Not as wrong as with Samuel and Shadra but... I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Which itself frankly bothered me more than a little. Shadra was the closest thing I have ever had to a friend and Samuel's sheer sexual vigour might have moved me to some sense of sentimental soppiness but Hopestra had never been aught but an enemy, and one that I had barely interacted with. Was it because she was pretty? Creation is full of pretty girls. Was it because I had hoped to charm her into compliance? I looked at those wide blue eyes and felt an ache that I would never have the chance to press her down onto the bed and claim her soft sweet lips-

"Are you alright?"

"Pardon?" I realised that I had been staring for a while. Shaking my head, I said, "It would seem that I have a lot on my mind. My humblest apologies. How are you? Is everything fine? Comfortable?"

"I am cared for in a material sense." She looked away. "I am merely lonely."

"I know," I said. "I understand."

"Do you? Do you really understand?" her eyes bore into mine. "Do you know what it is like to be removed from everyone who loves you?"

Some strange impulse- one of many, recently- moved me to sit down beside her on the bed. She scrambled away from me, her cheeks pink. "Do not fret. I won't harm you." Well, not yet anyway. "Tell me."

She opened her mouth to retort and then paused. "Tell you what?"

"About your family. Your brother, your mother."

She stiffened, her small body radiating defiance. "I won't give up my family's secrets-"

I bit back my immediate response- Oh, I can think of a few ways of making you talk, my pretty- and instead said, "That's not what I mean. Tell me about... I mean, tell me about the things you did."

"What sort of things?"

"I don't know! Family things!" I must have looked rather fearsome at that moment because she relented, looking away as she spoke.

And so I sat there while a Princess condemned to death by my father talked to me about... about wonders. Riding with her friends through the autumn foliage, racing each other to be the first to drink hot cider. Winters opening presents in the Solstice festival, with their mother watching on. Spring balls, flirting with boys and girls while eagle eyed-chaperones watch on. Summers spent boating in pretty lakes, laughing as her brother fell into the water while trying to impress some girls...

I listened and felt the awful, clenching ache in my heart grow and grow until I felt like screaming. Eventually she slowed and stopped. She stared up at me, eyes wide. With care I smoothed my features back into my normal masterful self. "That sounds quite... lovely."

"It was. I cannot wait to- I wish I could go back."

I looked away. In my strange and fragile state I dare not quite pretend that this was something we would ever allow. "Did you ever... fall in love?"

She was silent. The blush was back in full strength as she murmured, "I... yes. Funny that I should tell you... it wasn't any particularly deep thing. A distant cousin from another kingdom. She, uh... looking back it was all so childish. Stolen kisses and holding hands under the bedcovers." She sighed. "We met three times. Couldn't have been more than a month in total. Then swapped letters back and forth, pouring our hearts out..." She eyed me. "What about you?"

I felt that awful lurch in my heart. "I confess, I have recently started to have... feelings."

"Feelings?"

I nodded gravely. "Strange and new feelings. Uncomfortable feelings, feelings about someone... someone new."

"Someone new? Someone you just met?"

"Yes." Had it only been a few weeks? "And yet they have brought on such unusual and wonderous passions that I have never imagined."

"Oh..." She shivered. Had she moved closer to me?

"And they aren't someone I'm meant to l- to like! They're absolutely not meant to be someone I'm meant to-become passingly fond of! I just... this is insane."

"Truly?"

"I didn't know I could feel like this! Ah! I feel like my heart is being pulled in a thousand directions, all at once. I feel like I want to... want to..."

I got up from the bed. Hopestra- who for some reason had her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted- made a strange whimpering sound. I asked her, "What happened to this girl? The one that you cared about?"

"Oh." She looked away. "I told my m- the Queen."

"And?"

"And it was decided that for the good of the kingdom it was best... it was best to break things off." Her lashes were lowed as she spoke.

"I see." My father's face flashed into my mind and I shivered. "Did you agree?"

"I..." she shrugged helplessly. "She was my mother. She knew what was best." One of her hands trailed listlessly over silken sheets. "In the end, you have to think of your family."

"Of course," I said. I rose from the bed. "I am so sorry to have disturbed you. Thank you."

"Was... was what I said helpful?" She asked.

"No," I said. "Sadly I do not think so." And with that I left her.

***

By the time I had returned the others had roused. No, I did not speak of what had happened. No, I did not turn them into two piles of ash. Go ahead, you sad senseless sack of sheafs. Go ahead and call me a coward. I dare you.

The truth of the matter was, I was still considering my options- however shrunken and pathetic they were- when we received a visitor. A redhaired-visitor, who stood there and eyed the three of us as though we had all knives in one hand and the keys to the universe in the other-

(Perhaps it might have been better if Samuel had been dressed when she came in? Eh, it kept her nicely distracted and reminded her of what, in the end, this was all for).

She looked at us as second thoughts- well, she was probably well past second thoughts and well into the teens at this stage- wracked her mind. She was a treacherous woman and we were asking to risk her position as my sister's minion- and, as a side bonus, quite possibly her life- in what amounted to an absolutely insane scheme. And her reward for all of this danger? My overwhelming sexiness and Samuel's impressive todger. It was a poor gamble. It was an insane risk. It was, quite frankly, something of a relief to have to deal with after all that mushy 'feelings' rubbish that I had been wallowing in.

And so I smiled my most seductive smile and sauntered up to her. "Is everything ready? Have you talked to my dear sister?" For the benefit of my audience I did not add, who is probably a lump of stone that her halfwit mother mistook for a baby, developed sentience through a random spell and now haunts my every waking moment with her annoyingness.

She bowed her head shortly, her eyes never quite leaving Samuel's delightful groin. "I have told her- as you said."

"Exactly as I said?"

She shrugged. "I did not tell her that she was a fool and an imbecile and therefore should automatically trust whatever she was told, but other than that- yes."

"I applaud your initiative." I shrugged. "Well then- I suppose we had been dress my bodyguard."

Our treacherous redhead bit her lower lip. "Could I-"

"We need him fresh for what is to come," I said. "And we need you eager. How else will you successfully be able to act out the role of cock-hungry little slut?" I cooed, gently allowing a single finger to trail over her shoulder.

She turned and gave me a miserable look. "You have no idea as to the forces you are playing with," she whispered, even as twin points poked through her bodice. "You are meddling with an old, terrible power that will control you even as you seek to control it."

"I am," I said with a quirk of the lips, "a Dark Princess. And it is my birthright- nay, my responsibility- to do just that. Now then- let us all go."

We departed. Well, they departed- Sinistoria leading my b- my b- no, sorry, can't say it right now- out and into the halls of the palace. I left a short while later, with Shadra leading the way.

Our destination had been chosen well in advance. It was a small chamber, often used to entertain visitors of some import, and thus furnished with a few pieces of furniture- a bed, a small study, etc. etc.. Of course it also contained a small hidden alcove- sealed off by a fake brick façade- so father's spies could observe said visitors, determining their secret plans and gathering evidence for their inevitable downfall. The two of us slipped into this covert recess and set about making ourselves comfortable for the show to come.

Soon enough the door opened and three people entered the room. The first was the Sinistoria, her red hair gleaming in the light of a single candle. The second was Samuel, dressed up as Bruticus. The third was my sister, the fair-haired Terra. She was dressed in her priestess robes, and I smiled at the sight of her low bodice. I supposed that I would be seeing quite a lot of my sister's body soon; a sad but necessary burden to bear.

She spoke quietly to her treacherous minion. "What is it that you wish to show me? You said that Bruticus had something valuable for me to see."

Sinistoria nodded, her eyes gleaming. "I do. It would seem that your sister has involved herself in something quite dangerous- something that will have a great impact not only for herself, but for the entire empire."

Terra leaned forward. "I suspected as such. Her strange behaviour, her so-called sickness, her new bodyguard... all of it foreboding something disastrous. Father is suspicious of her already." She turned to Samuel. "Sir Bruticus. Your mistress is already under suspicion by the Dark Emperor himself. If you have any loyalty to her- any at all- you will tell me precisely what has been going; otherwise, I will not be able to save her."