Dionysus Sings the Blues

The pond lay at Mark's feet, flat and still, the warm mud of its banks squishy around his boots. It was not a "wine-dark sea" so much as an algae-choked, waterfowl besmirched interruption in the otherwise perfect linear grid of the vineyard.

The water buffalo stood nonchalantly in the middle of the pond, acting as if she had no idea what all the ruckus was about. Or perhaps she was pretending that it had nothing to do with her. Mark was sure the huge black animal was resolute in not making eye contact.

"La dee dah, who, me? In your pond? Is this your pond? Oh my! And who can blame her?" he thought. The merciless August sun pounded down on the hillside, nipping and biting at any shadow with the temerity to show itself. Neither was there a breath of wind to relieve the dry heat, only the buzz and whir of grasshoppers in the cover crop. So hot that it made the world silent, a silence within which one might almost hear the grapes growing.

It was certainly too hot to be running about if one were a water buffalo, what with 'water' right there in the name.

The buffalo was his neighbor's bright idea. Fresh mozzarella; rich, buffalo mozzarella. "Couple that with your wine and olive oil and we'll have a real attraction going on. What could go wrong?"

For one thing, a water buffalo, even the allegedly domesticated Italian riverine variety, mostly go where they want to go. When the electric fence shorted out it had taken an eyeblink for a dozen of the beasts to discover the fault, push past the threadbare fence, and start munching on Mark's very expensive, hard won Cabernet grapes.

Luckily, Tomás had been working with a crew nearby and spotted the ecstatic bovines. He and the other three of the crew had managed to herd the animals back and quickly restore the fence.

All except this one animal. Mark stood watching, hoping to keep it in the pond and away from the vines until his idiot neighbor could arrive with a livestock truck to retrieve it. He could hear the truck now, bumping up the road behind him. He was certain that the arrival of the truck would only herald a level of hilarious antics best viewed from a distance. Visions of YouTube stardom beckoned.

Sebastian and Joaquin stood guard on the banks of the pond, where, until Mark had arrived, they'd being trying to shift the beast from the pond. Tomás and Juan Pablo sat on the low stone wall that marked the property boundary, ready to reopen the gap in the fence if the buffalo should show interest in rejoining the herd. The idea that it might willingly walk into a truck beggared Mark's imagination. A glance uphill showed a line of watching placid buffalo, a line of judgmental nuns waiting to pass sentence on their sister's form and style in the rodeo to come.

The truck rumbled up and halted. Mark risked a glance back. Tomás and JP jumped up to unlimber the livestock ramp. Meanwhile Mark's neighbor, Arnold, jumped down from the cab. Arnold had made some millions in high tech, before "following the dream" of moving to Napa Valley. The buffalo were just the latest in a series of "entrepreneurial" exploits. He didn't look ready to herd anything bigger than a spreadsheet, in his moccasins, pink polo shirt, and Dockers.

"Mark, sorry about this," Arnold began. "Have you met Cressida, my cow whisperer?"

From the other cab door emerged Arnold's livestock expert. At first all Mark could see were the boots, roper boots that permitted easy walking. Then thick blue jeans, a denim Western shirt, and finally Cressida's face peeked around the corner of the truck.

"It's going to take more than a whisper..." he started. Her eyes locked onto his and he only managed to croak out a finishing "...um." The connection he felt was intense, visceral. His heart skipped a few beats and his face flushed. What was this feeling?

"C'mon," she said, her voice low. "I need you out of the way so that Monica here can get back to her herd."

"Monica?" Mark heard himself say, as if from Mars.

"We name all our cows. They're for milking, after all, not eating, and a happy buffalo is a productive buffalo." He found himself herded off to one side.

She called out to Monica, showed her curry brush, standing stock still on the shore. In a few minutes, the huge black shape had meandered over and, before he knew it, was walking willingly into the truck.

Arnold and Cressida mounted up and drove away. Looking back towards the property line, Mark could swear the other buffalo were covering their eyes, tunelessly muttering "nothing to see here" beneath their breath. Their disappointment was palpable.

What he didn't know was that Cressida had, in that moment, felt whatever it was too. She sat, gob smacked, in the cab of the truck trying to get her heart rate under control. "Who was that man?" she thought.

"You wouldn't believe it! This one tiny woman got a ton of water buffalo into that truck after the best Tomás and the guys and I could do was get her off the vines," Mark said at the end of his graphic description of the afternoon's events. He hadn't mentioned the fluttering of his heart, but then, he hadn't come to terms with it--or even understood what it was--yet.

Andie stared at her meal, pushing the pea shoots around on her plate. It seemed like yet another farming problem. "I've always been a city girl," she thought. "What am I doing listening to the daily yawn-inducing drama of watching grapes grow coupled with the charm of operating a chemical plant? What was the big deal with the neighbor's fences anyway?"

They'd moved here eighteen months ago, just after Mark's father had passed. At first, it had been an adventure. Tall and statuesque, she'd enjoyed playing hostess for winery events, decorating for the holidays, entertaining the staff. But, in her second season of it, she'd grown bored. Conversations tended to revolve around agricultural concerns--rainfall and frost and such--or about wine geeky stuff--brix and micro-oxygenation and how much French oak so-and-so was using.

Andie had been happier when they'd first met. Then Mark was the "man about town"; entertaining, schmoozing, doing tastings from the offices in San Francisco. And lately he'd started pestering her about starting a family. She didn't feel ready for that. She felt disconnected and out of sorts.

Sensing her displeasure, Mark changed the topic. "I was thinking. Let's plan a getaway. We can go to the City and..."

Andie made a face.

"I need a vacation, Mark. How long since I've had any real time off?"

"I guess it's been a bit. I don't think any of us expected Pops to pass like that. And with the finances..."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I just, uh, need some time, hon. I'm thinking of going on that South Seas cruise I mentioned. Susie and Beth invited me along and it would make a nice break."

Mark could feel his face crinkling up, the objections--financial, timing, practical--leaping front-of-mind. But he pushed them down. "Sure, hon, that sounds like fun. Trudy can take care of crush," he suggested, referring to his sister, who was, after all, the head winemaker.

Andie peered at him sadly. "I wasn't thinking of us going, although I'm sure that would be nice. I... I could use some time to recharge. Besides, we both know you can't dump the crush on her."

Mark sighed. Maybe some time apart would be good? Restore the fire a bit? "How long is it?"

"It's fifty-three days," she said. "It leaves from Seattle and sails across the South Seas."

"Wow! That's... long."

"I know, but it's not even two months. And with crush, you'll hardly miss me."

Thus, a couple of weeks later he found himself on the porch waving as Andie was driven away to meet her gal pals for her eight-week cruising vacation. He patted their dog, Oberon's head absently.

For her part, Andie felt a mixture of maudlin and euphoria. The past seven years with Mark had been, no, dammit, were wonderful. But she felt a wonderful bloom in her heart. Suddenly this trip meant more than just a vacation. She felt like a bird flying from a cage.

The flight from SFO had been mercifully short, so Andie wasn't that tired when the cruise line's bus dropped her at the harbor. She could see Beth and Susie amongst the crowd waiting to board, each of them dressed in brightly colored form-fitting sundresses. Their excitement was palpable even standing a hundred yards away, and suddenly Andie felt a kind of sinking feeling. It seemed like her friends were surveying the other passengers, looking for lonely men or long-suffering husbands they could borrow. She was... well, the ring was on the other finger now, wasn't it, she thought. It was harder to imagine herself fitting in with her maneater friends.

Susie spotted Andie and called out, so she tried to feel the same level of wicked devil-may-care excitement. Thankfully, the ship boarded soon after. They met their luggage in their staterooms, got the briefing, and attended the safety lecture at their "muster stations". Susie had her own stateroom. Beth and Andie, former college roommates, had chosen to share a larger two-bed room.

It seemed like hours, but the three finally were unpacked and ready. They hit the bar to get the first mai-tai's of the trip. Finally, Andie began to feel a tiny bit of relaxation creeping into her bones.

"I'm looking forward to a spa day!" Susie announced. "What about you two? What do you look forward to first?"

"Honestly?" Beth whispered, "I'm looking forward to getting one of these hunky men into my bed. I swear it's been months."

Andie rolled her eyes. "I'll never get any sleep on this voyage, will I? I might need to join you for that spa day, Suze."

"Hon, we know you love Mark. But we're the only people you know here. You should get laid," Beth enthused. "Put away the rings and have a safe little fling. What happens in south of the equator stays south of the equator!"

Andie resisted her friend's suggestions. At first, she was quite content with spa days and exploring the food options, with seeing some shows. Susie and Beth both calmed down and helped Andie get into the spirit. They hooked her up with dance partners or dinner dates but didn't press her beyond that.

Andie did find that she was staying late in the bar, though. Beth was five foot nine and had huge titties. After an evening of listening to her latest conquest planting his flag in her hills, Andie found it simpler to stay out late and arrive when the only sounds were snores.

That changed as the week turned over.

"A wine-tasting lecture is the last thing I need while on vacation," Andie sighed at Beth. "I spend all day, every day, with wine nerds or hosting some wine-related soiree."

"It's not about the wine. It's about the yummy hunk giving the talk. By now, a lot of people have seen it, so it'll be a small group. Just right to get close to an available bachelor!" Beth pleaded. "I just need a wing woman."

The wine lecturer did look remarkably like Adonis. Although not particularly tall, his dark hair, carefully manicured beard, and muscular physique sent a thrill through Andie. She'd had no intention of doing anything remotely related to wine on the voyage: it was too much like the world she was escaping. But she agreed to go with Beth.

"This cabernet exhibits both classic Rutherford dust as well as being filled with luscious black fruits..." he was saying. Andie tuned out the description. The familiar patter slid through her ears... "...blah blah... Robert Parker... blah blah... biodynamic... blah blah..."

The ladies around her were pretending to share the experience he was describing. Andie swirled the wine and sniffed it. There were distinct "legs" on the glass, denoting high alcohol. The wine was inky dark, and she could smell the oak. It was a monster, huge and unsubtle. While the gals around her guzzled the wine, she swished a taste of it around her mouth and used the spit bucket.

The presenter was watching her.

"Not your taste?"

"It's fine," she said.

"But you're not drinking the wine--just tasting it."

"I'm on vacation, so my focus is on drinking mai tais. And this wine's not well integrated--for the price, anyway. It's big, but it lacks finesse."

He smiled slightly. "So you don't like it?"

"Like I said, it's fine, but the famous label and price tag don't sway me. Robert Parker would be happiest if you could spread the wine on toast. I guess I've grown out of that."

Beth was squirming beside her. On the one hand, she was thrilled that Andie was getting his attention, but maybe, by disagreeing with the lecturer, she was ruining Beth's chance to get in his well-pressed trousers?

"Maybe you'll like this next one more," he replied. "It has an older, more restrained style." His dark eyes flashed at her, daring her a bit. Andie felt a little inner wave of heat: she had his attention and on more than one level. She glanced at the bottle and felt a wave of horror. It was Mark's family's wine, the familiar label mocking her.

"Uh... yeah, I, uh, know the winemaker."

"You know Trudy?"

"She's my sister-in-law."

"I didn't know she had married."

Andie shrugged, not clarifying the relationship.

Mark found himself enmeshed in the preparation for Crush--the daunting, frenzied time of year when the grapes came in from the fields. While Trudy did all the viticulture, he had to ensure that pickers and equipment and everything else was arranged for and standing by. There needed to be lunches for the workers. There needed to be insurance policies and waivers in place. Trudy was nagging him daily now, as the Sauvignon Blanc, the first of their grapes to come in, edged closer to perfection.

It was a welcome distraction, given how dark and quiet the house was. He could almost stumble through his days, pretending everything was normal. This morning, he was preparing to sit down to breakfast when a frantic knocking came at the front door.

"What's up?" he said. Rafael, one of the seasonal workers, stood there looking panicked.

"Patrón, los búfalos están en el cabernet." Arnold's beasts were loose again.

Mark dashed to put on boots and grab his phone. There would be hell to pay if they damaged the crop. The winery was counting on the Cabernet.

Arnold wasn't answering his phone. Rafael drove them in his ATV at breakneck speed over the dusty path. As they crested the hill, the expected scene of devastation didn't appear. Instead, Mark could see six or seven of his workers calmly restoring the failed fence. The team had been building a stone wall between the properties, but it hadn't extended this far yet.

There was, however, one remaining buffalo. Monica was standing, just as before, in what was left of the pond. At this end of the season, it was more of a mud puddle, and she appeared to be looking disconsolately around, wondering where the cool water had gone.

Once again, he sat down to wait for Arnold and his cow whisperer.

This time Cressida came alone. As soon as he spotted her in the cab, Mark felt his heart skip a beat. The tongue-tied feeling he'd had last time he'd met her rematerialized.

Cressida parked the truck, setting the brake before stepping down from the driver's seat. The handsome neighbor was looking at her the whole time and she was suddenly self-conscious. Her heart was palpitating.

Monica was more stubborn this time and it took Rafael and Mark's participation to guide her up the ramp. At least she'd re-learned his name. He seemed shy and kind of quiet, which was at odds with his reputation as a outgoing exuberant gentleman.

When the gate was shut, Mark shook Rafael's hand and thanked him: "Gracias. ¡Salvaste nuestra temporada!". Mark waived Rafael off, letting him take the ATV and head back to work.

Mark mounted up on the Passenger side of the truck and they started to bounce down the access road towards the house.

"Where did you get a name like Cressida?" he asked.

"You know the origin?"

"Isn't there a Shakespeare play? Troilus and Cressida? I've never seen it."

"Yes, there is. Cressida is the name of a Trojan woman. She's the archetype of an unfaithful or inconstant lover."

"Your parents knew this?" She laughed.

"It's complicated. Would it surprise you to know that it's my middle name? My Christian name is 'Constance', but I could never see myself as a 'Connie'."

"No, that doesn't seem to fit you at all."

"My father, I think, picked Cressida because he thought my mother had been unfaithful," she continued.

"That's harsh... and a bit unfair to you?"

"Turns out he was right. We love each other anyway, despite the naming fiasco. He's a complex man. Plus, it's good not to be Yet Another MaryBeth or Sue..."

"... or Connie! So, uh, Cressida, we're having a big dinner--sort of a barbeque celebration feast following first crush. It's Friday night. Want to come?"

"I'd love to, Mark."

"Is this seat taken?"

Andie was nearing the bottom of her third mai-tai, when she felt her elbow brushed. It was the wine lecturer, natty in his sport coat.

"Be my guest," she replied. Her tongue felt a little thick. Perhaps this should be the last drink tonight? Beth had hooked up quickly with an orthodontist from somewhere in Ohio, who was probably straightening her teeth with his tool right at that moment... somewhere.

"What are you drinking?"

"I favor a mai-tai when cruising the Pacific. I'm Andie. What's your name?"

"I'm Steven. We met the other day..."

"Yes, you were fawning on Robert Parker's favorites."

He chuckled. "The crowd here isn't sophisticated. Not like you are. Doing the talks lets me cruise for free--or, in my case, let's me upgrade my stateroom."

"You're a flatterer, mister Steven. So you're a free rider, eh?"

"I do my share of the work. I just save my best effort for people who are worth it. Do you want another?"

"I was just finishing. I think three is my limit. Four makes my pants fall off."

"Bartender!" he called, jokingly. She laughed. He was audacious, but cute. "She'll have a water? Or another mai-tai?"

They both had mai-tais. Andie tried to just sip at hers. She had a feeling she'd be a bit sloppy, walking to her cabin. But this guy, um, Steven might help her out. That'd be kind of welcome.

Her straw slurped at the bottom. Nothing left but some stray bits of pineapple pulp. His drink had disappeared too. He had such nice, dark eyes.

"Another?"

"I've definitely had enough," she said. "You having one?"

"No. Can I escort you?"

She stood. Her high heels made her a bit wobbly. "Yes, I think that would be welcome."

He took her arm and they headed for the exit. He asked what deck her cabin was on.

"I'm on four, but... I think Beth is probably still banging her date. I was going to wait until later to make an appearance..." she said. Part of her cringed about blurting out what her friend was doing.

"We could go to my cabin. I have a suite. You could rest on the couch."

"That sounds lovely. Where will you be? Will I have to share the couch?"

"If you want to make room!" he laughed.

The cabin was spacious, with a separate living room area. Andie staggered gratefully onto the sofa, which was covered in a kind of itchy polyester material. She didn't remember her skirt being so short. She had to keep tugging it down to provide any sort of modesty. Still, they were just knees. Everyone had knees, right?

Steven poured a little taste of port for each of them. The sweet, fortified wine was a pleasant attitude adjustment from the wickedly strong rum drinks, if no less alcoholic. He sat next to her, and she swiveled her body to talk to him. He was so nice, attentive and attractive. She put her hand on his arm. It felt buff and muscular through the fabric of his coat.