Divots

"So tell me about the other 'F'," Karen said once they sat down.

"The other...F?"

"You know, flying, philosophy...."

He laughed then said, "You got me. I can't believe I didn't catch on."

He took a sip of the chardonnay then said, "Then again, you are very distracting."

Karen was taking one, too, and she nearly choked on it when he said that.

"Don't you have to have perfect vision to be a pilot?" she teased, or at least hoped that's how it sounded.

"I do. Mine's nearly 20/10 so don't doubt me on that. I know whereof I speak," he informed her in that faux serious way.

Again, she loved the compliment but didn't acknowledge it.

"Tell me about Deism. But dumb it down, okay? A lot."

He thought for a moment then said, "Okay. Gee. Where to start."

"Let's begin with the obvious. God, and I mean either the God of the Bible or the Koran when I used the word, either exists or doesn't exist."

"Hey! I'm keeping up!" Karen said with a laugh.

Chris did, too, then continued.

"If he doesn't, end of story. Everything happened naturally without exception. Life somehow formed on its on then Natural Selection kicked in and preserved positive traits. If he does, the question for me is this: does this being get involved in human affairs?"

He looked at her and knew she was still with him.

"A large majority of scientists rule out even the possibility of design on an 'a priori' basis."

"I remember that term. A priori means something that can be determined by reason ahead of time. Right?"

"Close enough," he said cheerfully.

"Anyway, they will only consider natural explanations for anything. There's no scientific reason to do that, so it's a philosophical choice. An evolutionary biologist named Richard Lewontin was honest and said that's to keep theists from getting a foothold. In other words if you even mention design, those dad gum Christians will use it against us! Next thing you know, them kids'll be a prayin' in schools agin!"

His 'hick voice' was bad, but she laughed anyway and said she was still with him.

"I flat don't care where the truth comes from or whose ox gets gored by it. I want to know the truth. Period. And the truth is, as I said before, that which comports with--or matches up with--what actually is. Truth is reality without filters of any kind. The job of a scientist, and everyone for that matter, is to believe as many true things as possible and believe as few false things as possible. I try to find the truth regardless of the source or where it leads. Too many scientists, who, by the way, are still people--don't. They only look within the natural realm, so they don't necessarily get the best answer. They get the best naturalistic answer."

"So how does this apply to Deism?" Karen asked now that she understood what he meant when he used the word 'truth'; a definition she thought was very reasonable.

"Well, theism is the belief in a deity that gets involved in human affairs. Like Yahweh, Allah, Jesus, etc. Deism is the belief in a god that doesn't. He, she or it wound things up then stepped away. That god, small 'g', may be all knowing or simply so far more advanced than we are that it appears godlike to us, but he or she or whatever doesn't get involved by breaking the laws of physics to perform miracles in answering someone's prayers or letting someone walk on water or stopping the sun in the sky, etc."

"Okay. So far so good," Karen told him as she took another sip.

"There are two huge problems in science that very few scientists will admit publicly. In private they know these are intractable problems."

"You didn't dumb it down enough. Intractable?"

"Sorry. Really difficult to deal with."

"Okay. Go ahead," she said with little laugh.

"The first is called abiogenesis. It's the study of how life could have come from non-living things. It claims that chemicals called amino acids, the building blocks of life self-organized into living matter on their own. The 'a' in abiogenesis means without. So it's life arising on earth before there were living things or...without biology."

"I think I'm still with you."

"The story goes something like this. Since the building blocks of life were present some four billion years ago, and because they have an affinity for bonding with one another, given enough time life WILL form. On its own."

"Wait. Is that like the uh...pre-biotic soup?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes! That's what they call it. But the difficulties are ENORMOUS! And time is not abiogenesis's friend. It is the enemy. You see, modern chemistry requires that chemists use the purest starting materials we can make. Those don't occur in nature. They work in the cleanest laboratories on earth. There were no labs four billion years ago and nothing was clean or pure in that sense. Chemists must also start and stop reactions at exactly the right time or those reactions will cause what they're doing to go hopelessly awry. It's incredibly difficult, highly controlled work. But naturalistic scientists ignore all of that and insist it DID happen even though, after 70 years of trying to find out how it happened naturally, they're even farther away today than they were back then. That's because each time we learn how utterly complex a cell is, it makes getting to the first cell capable of self-replication that much more difficult. Especially in the pre-biotic world."

"Don't they have theories?" Karen asked. "I'm sure they'd say they have a pretty good idea, right?"

"Sure. They call them 'RNA first', 'metabolism first', etc., but none of them even get close to what's needed for the first, simplest thing that could be called life to form. For that to happen you have to have several proteins plus some other stuff. Making the simplest protein possible is so unimaginably difficult that it would blow your mind if I explained what that would require and how long it would take. And that's just one protein. You need several. And you need other things, too, like carbohydrates and lipids. And they'd all have to be inside a cell membrane of some sort. In a very specific way. So even if you had the proteins, they couldn't do anything without the other stuff and a membrane, and that would require a membrane to self-form somehow and for all of that stuff to be at the same place at the same time AND somehow combine into a functioning cell!"

"I'm a little lost," she confessed.

"In a nutshell it's essentially like going to a huge junkyard and expecting a 747 to self assemble because there are magnets laying around. With no one to aid in the process."

"Then why do scientists believe it happened?" Karen asked.

"Because it HAD to happen or their entire worldview collapses. We're obviously here, and since they rule out design and, of course, a designer, they can only insist that life came from non-living chemicals on its own, even though they still have no idea how it happened, their RNA-first type hypotheses aside."

"But couldn't they evolve?" she asked.

"Remember. Before the first life there is no evolution. You have to have life first in order for Natural Selection to act on changes and preserve the good stuff."

"So again, how does Deism fit in?"

"The most obvious answer to how life began is that it was designed."

"Okay, but who? Or maybe by whom?"

"That's not important. Just like finding the Rosetta Stone, it didn't initially matter WHO did the writing on it. What did matter was knowing that it was done by an intelligent being. The who can wait. So, because of the unbelievable problems with abiogenesis, I am convinced that some...designer...got life started on earth, but this being doesn't get involved like the God of the Bible or the Koran supposedly does by answering prayers, performing miracles, etc."

"So do Deists go to church or anything like that?" Karen asked.

"No. No church. No scriptures. No commandments. Just an acknowledgement that a designer created life. That's it."

"So how is that different than being an atheist?" she asked, having no idea she'd just hit the nail on the head.

"Good question!" Chris replied, a smile on his face. "In a way, it doesn't. But since design is FAR more likely than life just magically happening on its own in a filthy world where time hurts rather than helps, the only other option is a designer/creator. But one that doesn't want, need, or demand that we worship it."

"Then what kind of being is it?" she asked, now mildly interested.

"I don't know, and I'm not claiming to know this being even exists. My main point is that I cannot buy into abiogenesis. Add to that that the hallmarks of design are everywhere, and it's logical to at least posit a designer. That designer could be an incredibly advanced civilization in the universe that simply enjoys creating life and watching it unfold. Again, the who and the why take a backseat to how it happened, and we flat don't know the 'how'."

"But doesn't that make us ask, 'Who created this designer race of people'?"

"Indeed it does. But again, all I care about is the truth. After having read at least a dozen books on the subject--pro and con--and having listened to some huge number of debates on the topic, my conclusion is that design is more likely than non-living matter somehow turning into living matter AND developing a cell membrane and everything inside it on its own in a dirty, pre-biotic world."

"I'm afraid to ask what the other thing is," Karen said with a laugh.

"Good, because that's evolution, and I don't want to run you off," he said, his tone of voice changing. "I really enjoy your company."

"Hey! Are you flirting again?" Karen asked rather hopefully, a smile forming on her face.

He lowered his head for a second then raised it.

"I can't help it, Karen. You're gorgeous. And smart. So, yes. I am flirting. Again. And I should warn you, I plan to continue flirting."

"Oh. Forewarned again," she said with a nervous laugh as she tried to imagine him kissing her, a thought that made her body tingle all over.

As they ate, Karen thought about what he'd said and still had questions. But rather than ask them she wanted to know more about him and who he was rather than focus on this one area that interested him so much.

"Have you decided if you'll stay in the Air Force for a career?" she asked, even though he'd hinted about doing that earlier.

"I'd like to for several reasons. I love the camaraderie. Everyone working hard and doing their best to make something worthwhile happen. That dovetails into my second reason which is doing something important. I love this country and I see threats to it all around the globe. I don't want to let another country become stronger than us, and doing my part is important to me. Lastly, there's job security, and the pay is good. Then there's the retirement which includes healthcare for life me and my future family."

His mention of family got her attention, although she liked everything else he'd said.

"I assume then you want a family somewhere down the road?" she asked as nonchalantly as she could.

"Yes. Without a doubt. I can't imagine living alone much longer. People tell me to take my time and 'sow your wild oats', but that's just empty and hollow. I want a best friend who'll always be there for me and I'll do the same for her."

He got even more serious then said, "I made a vow to 'protect and defend the Constitution of the United States against ALL enemies, foreign and domestic. That means something to me, Karen. And the words 'for better or for worse' and 'til' death do us part', do, too. They're not just promises. They're sacred vows."

His words moved her to the point of tearing up but she was able to blink them away.

"You're very passionate," she said as she used her napkin to dab her eyes.

"I am. Especially about my country and family. Like I said, my dad is everything to me. So is America. And when I say 'I do' I will. Every day of my life."

"Til' death do us part," Karen said quietly and with a new sense of appreciation for what those words meant even though she'd live through them.

Even so, she never given them any amount of thought beyond how they were part of a wedding ceremony. She realized that she believed in marriage the way that Chris did, and as she thought about service to the country, she admired that level of commitment, too.

"I can't believe some lucky girl hasn't been scooped up by you already," she told him as she really looked at him as though she were peering into his soul.

The word 'soul' reminded her of his other passion which seemed to be Intelligent Design, so she asked him if that was how he described it.

"Yes and no. The Intelligent Design movement has an agenda, and I don't share it."

"An agenda?"

"Uh-huh. They use ID to get prayer back in school. Not everyone associated with ID does that, but that's the overall gist. The other is to bring people to Christianity, and while I'm not a believer myself, I have no qualms with that. I just don't want prayer back in school because that means every religion, to include Satanists, will demand equal time. Besides, kids still can pray in school. It just can't be school sponsored, and in my opinion, that's how it should be. In case you didn't guess already, I'm a Libertarian."

"I wasn't sure about that, but I am actually learning something," Karen said with a smile that expressed her admiration for his intelligence and his commitment to things that were important to her.

She didn't know whether or not she agreed with him on the design issue, but what he said at least made sense to her. However, she knew that she didn't know enough to be sure he wasn't missing something or glossing over important pieces of the puzzle that, once she heard, would refute what he was saying. Still, it was all very interesting to her, and she was willing to listen.

"I've done most of the talking tonight, and I'm already bored listening to myself. What do you like to do for fun?" Chris asked.

"Oh, gee. I work, and that's not fun," she began, a little laugh accompanying her words. "I've always loved dancing, but my husband didn't care for it, so I haven't really done that in...gosh...many years."

"Then let's go dancing next weekend," Chris said out of the blue, surprising her to the point of her eyes opening wide in near disbelief.

"Would it shock you to know I can dance?" he said, jutting his jaw out as though he were stating a proud fact.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Believe it or not I was seriously into break dancing back in middle school and the first couple years of high school."

"Get out of here!" Karen said as she tried to imagine him bouncing around back and forth.

"Yep. I wasn't too bad at it, either. And I learned a few ballroom dance steps, too."

"Hold on. You're a pilot, you're an excellent cook, you're true to your passions, and you can dance?"

He got overly serious then said, "And...I have a great sense of humor."

He slightly he lowered his head and raised this eyebrows after he said it, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"And I can trap a mole like no one you've ever seen," he added, pointing at her very quickly to add emphasis which made her laugh again.

"You're...amazing," she told him, and not in a flattering way. She was just stating the truth, and when she said it she realized she was right. Young or not Chris Gray was an amazing man.

"I know a club in Omaha that plays live music on the weekends, and I'd love to see you again, Karen."

She knew for sure that he was asking her out this time--on a date--and yet it still didn't make sense to her.

"You're really asking me out?"

"Yes. I am. Very much so."

"On a 'date' date?"

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked rather quietly.

"I...no. I just don't...why do you want to go out...with me?"

"You must not have been paying attention," he told her as though he was scolding her. "So let me tell again that I think you're smart, and as beautiful as any woman I've ever met, and I really enjoy being with you."

He waited for a second then said, "Did that help?"

"Chris? How old are you? And how old do you think I am?"

Her question was as gentle as one could be, but it was one she had to ask.

"I'm 26, and I don't care when you were born. At all."

She was scanning his face again and didn't even think to tell him her age as she was so caught up in...him.

"Okay. I...I'd love to go dancing with you," she said, hoping against hope she wasn't making a huge mistake.

They finished dinner with a minimum of conversation, but as they were clearing the table, Chris got her laughing, and by the time they loaded the dishwasher, she didn't care how old he was. She truly enjoyed being near him, and that included when he literally got really near her when suddenly turned around and nearly knocking her over. She was directly behind when he turned and took a step--right into her. She lost her balance, and as she reeled backward, his arm shot out, grabbing her wrist and steadying her. As she regained her balance, she was pulled in to within six inches from him.

They looked at one another for a second or two before they both slowly moved toward the other until their lips met and pressed together.

Afterwards he saw her eyes moving rapidly between his and asked her what was wrong.

"Promise me you won't hurt me."

He pulled back even closer and held her and promised he never would.

*****

They went dancing that next Saturday, and Chris turned out to be every bit as good as he said. Karen hadn't had that much fun since she and her late husband were dating, and it was then that she fell in love with the young Air Force pilot who could talk endlessly about the odds of life arising on earth by chance alone or importance of having honor and integrity in one's life.

She was 15 years older than him, but Karen never felt like she was. In fact, whenever they were together, he seemed so much older, smarter, and wiser than her. Yet when she looked at him she saw the most beautiful face that made her feel his age again, and according to what he told her many, many times, he thought she was even more beautiful than she did him.

It was difficult for her to believe at times, but Christopher Gray was a man of integrity, and Karen believed him when he said something was so. She didn't always believe it herself, but she knew he believed it and meant every word he said, and in the world of today, that was more valuable to her than silver or gold.

So when he told her that he loved her just two months later, she said it back without hesitation, and that night they made love for the first time. Slow, passionate, amazing love like she'd never experienced before.

Seven months later he asked her to marry him after he spent 45 days away from her supporting real world operations in the Mediterranean Sea from Incirlik Air Base in Turkey. He took her to the officer's club on base at Offutt the evening of the very day he returned, and with most of the squadron's officers there, he asked the older woman he loved to marry him, and an extremely happy and thankful Karen Moore said 'yes' through tears of joy.

There were two other huge events in the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Chris Gray within the 24 months following their wedding. The first was Chris's surprising decision to leave the Air Force and take a job with a civilian airline. The decision was made easier by the impact the other, even bigger, life-changing event which was the birth of their daughter, Bethany Ann Gray just two days after Karen turned 44.

He loved his wife with all his heart, but this little bundle of joy melted it, and he never wanted to be away from the girls he loved ever again.

Karen Gray had loved her first husband dearly and always would, but she had never been so happy before in all of her life as she'd been since the first time her handsome, younger husband kissed her.