Do Bloody What?byThe Wanderer©
I thank my LadyCibelle and Techsan for their patience, proof reading, editing skills and of course encouragement. I'd also like to add that we don't always see eye to eye, so I take full responsibility for the content and any cock-ups in this story.
"I want you to get me pregnant?"
"Do bloody what?" I looked at my ex-wife in astonishment.
I'd been virtually forced into having this meeting with Michelle by my mother. Well, not exactly forced but she harped on and on about Michelle wanting to see me as she had something really important to discuss with me. I'd had to agree just to get mother off the bloody telephone. Mother had been calling me at work several times a day and, to be honest, my boss was getting real antsy about it.
"You heard me. I said I want you to get me pregnant," Michelle repeated.
"You've got to be bloody joking, girl. I'd drop myself right in the apple cart if I did that. God, I'm not paying you child maintenance for the next god knows how many years."
"If it's only the child maintenance you're worried about, I'll give you a paper that exonerates you from any financial responsibility for the children."
"Children? You want me to father more than one? You must be bloody stark raving mad."
"No I'm not mad. We always said we wanted two children and I'd like to have them now."
"Jesus, girl, you've gone bleeding bonkers. Look, child maintenance isn't up to you. The moment you put in a claim at the benefit office, they are going to ask who the children's father is and they'd be on my back as quick as bleeding lightning."
"But I wouldn't be putting in a claim for benefits."
"Look, this is insane. There's no way I'm going to father any children with you. Go and get one of your boyfriends to father a child for you."
"I don't want anyone else to be the father of my children. I want you. And besides there hasn't ever been any other men in my life ever."
"It's true, John!"
"Bollocks, Michelle. What about that guy who was in court with you at our divorce? Do you think I'm bleeding daft or something?"
"No, just gullible sometimes. That was my brother's friend Graham and you know what that means, don't you? He was just there to make you jealous, because you always had that little tart with you."
"That little tart, as you so nicely call her, is Brian's wife, Gale. You know Brian, the work-mate whose sofa I slept on for nearly two years because I couldn't afford anywhere to live myself. I had to pay half the rent money on your bloody flat until the lease ran out. Gale was just there to hold my hand, that's all. They're a lovely couple. I wouldn't do anything that would risk their marriage."
"Oh and I'm supposed to believe that."
"No more than I'm supposed to believe that lover boy Graham, as you call him, is a bloody poof. Jesus, he had every woman in that bloody court room drooling over him."
"Yes, it's a terrible waste, isn't it, and you should see the size of his equipment. But I'm afraid he prefers sleeping with my brother."
"Ah, see, dropped yourself in it there. How'd you know how big his prick is, if you haven't slept with him?"
"He's an actor like my brother, you clown. That's where Pete met him, on a gay film porn shoot. Graham's starred in more gay movies than you've ever seen."
"Well, that wouldn't be many. I've never been partial to watching gay porn."
"Well, take my word for it, Graham has no interest in women. I just had him come along to wind you up. Sounds like it worked."
"You always were a wicked cow!"
"Come on, that show that I put on with Graham was no worse than the one you put on with Gale."
I had to smile to myself as I remembered Gale hanging all over me outside the solicitor's office. I'd watched Michelle's face as she'd struggled to keep her emotions under control. But then when it came to our day in court, Michelle had showed up hanging on the arm of a really handsome guy. Took the bleeding wind right out of my sails, I'll tell you. But Gale had risen to the occasion as she always does. Christ, she almost had me convinced that we were going to shag the night away.
"When you think about it, I suppose it wasn't."
"Good, now that's out of the way, when are we going to get together so you can get me pregnant?"
"Bloody hell, Michelle, I told you there's no way in the world that I'm going to get you pregnant. That would mean we'd have to sleep together and there's no chance of me doing that."
"What's up? Didn't you enjoy fucking me when we were married?"
"Well, of course I did, but we aren't married anymore. Look, I told you I'm not getting lumbered with paying for your children for bleeding ever. I might want to marry someone else in the future and have kids. I'd be in Shit Street if I had to pay for your children as well."
"But I told you, you wouldn't have to pay maintenance."
"Oh, is that so? Well, tell me how would you bloody live? You wouldn't be able to work and bring up children as well."
"Oh, I don't have worry about money. I've got loads of it."
"Oh, yeah? What you have done won the lottery or something."
"In a word, yes. Eight million, three months ago; I just got back from a cruise and now I'd like to settle down and have the family we always talked about."
"Jesus Christ, girl, with that kind of money, you must have guys queuing up to marry you. I'm sure that one of them would be happy to stick a bun in your oven for you."
"I don't want one of those gold diggers to father my children. I want you."
"Blimey, girl, I'm a bloody loser. You said that yourself when we divorced. Why the hell would you want me to father your children?"
"Well, I was hoping that you'd want to be involved in their upbringing."
"You'd be correct on that one. If you did have a child by me, yes, I would want to be involved in raising it. But that's just ain't going to happen."
"But if it did, you'd want to see the children every week."
"Most likely I would, but as I said it's just not in the cards."
"If it was in the cards though and we had maybe one or two children together, well, then at least we'd get to see each other every week."
"Why the hell would you want to do that?"
"Because I love you, stupid!"
"Now hold on there, Michelle. You divorced me, remember?"
"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You cross petitioned, remember?"
"For your unreasonable behaviour."
"Well, I divorced you for your mental cruelty to me."
"I was never cruel to you, Michelle."
"And I was never unreasonable. Look, let's face it. We married far too young and really we didn't know what we were letting ourselves in for. We couldn't afford the flat we rented to live in and it left us so short of money we couldn't live the lives we wanted to live. John, all we ever really argued about was money. Look, it just all went wrong on us, but I never stopped loving you. It was always you right from when we first met at school. I never did go out with any other boys."
"God, don't do this, Michelle. I wish I'd never agreed to meet you now."
"Why do you wish that?"
"Because it breaks my heart whenever I see you. That's why!"
"You sick cow, you love to see me suffer, don't you?"
"Don't be silly. I said goody because you still love me."
"I never said that!"
"No but you implied it."
"So what if I do anyway. What good does it do me?"
"Well, that's up to you, but I'm willing to say 'I do' again if you're willing to ask."
"Do you mean that?"
"Of course I do."
"How do you know I wouldn't be asking you just to get my hands on your money?"
"Not much point in you doing that. I paid three point four million into your bank account almost seven weeks ago now. Don't you ever check your bank statements?"
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Because you're my husband and I love you."
"Oh, bugger. You know my dad told me I'd never be able to understand women and I shouldn't try."
"Clever man your dad. Are you coming home to bed now?"
"Now hold on, Michelle. I can't just go over to your place for the night just like that. I need to think about this. And besides I've got an early start at work tomorrow and I haven't got my gear with me."
"No problem. You're not working tomorrow. You've got the day off."
"What are you talking about now?"
"I just told your supervisor you wouldn't be in and that's that."
"You can't do that. I'll get fired."
"Oh, no, that can't happen; I own the place. Or rather you will once we sign the papers."
"Look, you always said that when you got rich, you'd buy the company and show them how to run it properly. Well, now you own it. Where did you think the other six hundred thousand went. I wouldn't short-change my husband. Come on, lets go to our house and get busy making children."
"What house is that?"
"The big one we used to walk passed on our way to school. Remember you always did love the place. Come on, let's go."
"Do I really have a choice?"
"Not if I can help it."
"You know I do love you, Michelle."
"Yes I've always known and I love you as well."
Life goes on.