Do You Want To Make Love Now? Pt. 02

The nightstand had six different flavors of lubricant and condoms. Cieran laughed and held one up for Chris to see. "Well they certainly thought of everything, haven't they?"

Chris shook his head and looked around. "It's like Arabian Nights in here." He went toward the fireplace.

Cieran sat on the bed. "This is bouncy," Cieran said, moving his bottom around. He laid back on it and watched Chris.

Cieran said quietly, "Well, I think it went pretty well."

"Yes. It was perfect."

"Although I'm expecting never to hear the end of it from my brothers, with me blubbering the whole time, crying and all."

Chris smiled. "I don't think so. I can't see them making fun of you for it. That was pretty perfect too." They held each other's gaze. "I'm going to sit here for a moment if that is okay." He sat down on the couch facing the roaring fire.

Cieran rose from the bed and went to the champagne. He poured two glasses, walked over to Chris and handed him one. Chris took it but did not drink. Cieran sat next to him. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Chris replied. "I'm just feeling a bit.... overwhelmed at the moment."

"Overwhelmed like, 'This is the greatest day of my life' or like, 'Holy shit what the fuck did I just do'?"

Chris let a moment pass. "Would you be offended if I said both?"

"No," Cieran said automatically. "I want you to always be honest with me about how you feel, no matter what. And for the record, I understand."

Chris looked back at the fire. "Well, it's not exactly fifty-fifty. It's more like eighty percent greatest moment, and twenty percent how did I get here. And can I rise to the expectation. Be the loving, devoted.... and faithful husband that you need me to be."

Cieran understood. "I know you will be loving and devoted to me. But I knew who you were when I agreed to marry you. I fully expect you to flirt with every handsome man and beautiful woman that will come across your path. But you'll always come back home to me. I know that because you agreed to marry me. If you didn't think you could, you wouldn't have done it and that honest part of you is one of the many reasons we're here today. So don't be worried about any of that. Because I'm not."

Chris was quiet for a moment. Then said, "You'll be happy to know, regardless of both of those feelings of elation and worry, I'm glad it's you. You're perfect for me."

Chris put his glass on the end table and laid down until his head was in Cieran's lap. Cieran ran his fingers through Chris's soft twists and gently rubbed his scalp.

After a while Chris called his name. "Cieran?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why me? Why did you choose me?"

Cieran almost laughed. "Are you joking?" Chris did not answer. Cieran's left hand found Chris and held it close to Chris's chest.

He said, "This time last year, after we kissed and you popped my anal virginity-" They both chuckled. "It was all I could think about. I went home and replayed it in my head in the bath, in bed, fell asleep and dreamed of everything we did. And I remember thinking, what was it about me that made him want to be with me? A complete novice at being with a man, sexually inept, insecure about myself and my feelings, and yet he said he wanted to be with me?

"I didn't understand it then, but I understand it now. I could have written your vows tonight. The bit where you talked about breathing new life into you. Because you made me feel like that every day, and still do. I never saw myself as choosing you and bringing you into my world. I always saw it as you making me a part of yours, you choosing me."

Chris was silent for a long moment. Then he spoke. "I could have written your vows too, you know. You changed me, created me into the man I am today. Your love is a gift to me too."

They laid together spooning and were quiet. Then Cieran asked, "Do you want to make love now?"

"I thought that's what we were already doing. Making love."

Cieran kissed the back of Chris's head and squeezed his hands. Chris smiled a little and squeezed back. "Yeah. Making love."