Dom and Sandro Ch. 02

I added, "We will buy the piano with the house of course! And we will keep on your cleaner and gardener. We can then move out of our poky flat in Fountain Street. Sandro will soon be coming back for a few months to write his thesis, and the flat will be rather crowded. Besides, I could give lessons here and not be dependent on the practice room in the Music Department."

"Yes, auntie Caterina!" said Tommy, "I'd love to live here with you!" In an era in which many of his contemporaries were playing violent shoot-up computer games and viewing porn on their smartphones, Tommy was still a sweet and unspoilt child. He was more interested in people than things, and rarely used the old phone that we had given him when we feared that he might be sent back to his birth-parents.

Tim Ingledown found us a good architect, drawings were prepared for a two-bedroomed annex with kitchen, bathroom and sitting room, and planning permission was obtained. Within a couple of months work had begun. Caterina decided which items of furniture she wanted to keep, we chose a few from the rest, and the unwanted furniture was sent to the auction room.

Within six further months, we were ready to move into our new house. Caterina was already installed in the 'granny annex.' "We are all going to have to be more gentlemanly when Caterina is around" Jon warned us as we prepared for the move, "No farting when she is present!" The house had four bedrooms, and we had two additional upstairs bathrooms installed, one to serve Jon's and my bedroom, and one to serve the second bedroom where Dom and Sandro would sleep. The original bathroom would be used by Tommy, who had bedroom number three, which was the smallest. The fourth bedroom was the guest bedroom, where Luke and Tom or Cathy could sleep when they were visiting. The spacious garden had a double garage, with parking for two further cars.

The old apartment in Fountain Street was returned to the owners, Z College, and we received a small sum to cover the unexpired part of our lease. This marked a landmark in our lives. Jon had purchased the lease from the college in his final year as an undergraduate, and when it expired after twenty-five years, it had been renewed and Jon had lived there for well over thirty years. The 'new' house in Octavia Avenue had been the Fabionis' home for over thirty years. It would have been traumatic to Caterina if she had had to move. Most of the furnishings and books from our flat were moved to the new house, except for Jon's and my small porn library, which we moved to Rockwell's Barn. We would have felt very uneasy if Tommy had been able to access our huge range of gay erotica (although most of it was already at Ixton). At Ixton, they were safely under lock and key, though I knew that Luke knew where we kept the key. However, we did keep the nude male statue and installed it in our new en-suite bathroom. There was no need to hide it now that we were out.

Soon I started to give a few lessons in the new house. It was within a few minutes walk of Camford station and was thus very convenient for those students coming from London for the day. We used to give them lunch, or even dinner with us, which they seemed to appreciate. In May, Sandro came back to us, having completed his work at the rail test track. He settled down to write his thesis. He had the use of a study which only Jon used on a regular basis, and a half hour walk or short bike ride would take him to the Faraday Science Library. He was joined in September by Dom, who had now been transferred to Cheltenham. Cheltenham was just too far from Camford to commute daily, so Dom took lodgings in Cheltenham Monday to Thursday and came home for the weekends. He was enjoying his work at YTS, as we learnt to call Yeohampton Technical Solutions, and was being paid a very respectable salary. Because they had been together each night when they were at Getheringthwaite, they were not all over each other, which was nice for the rest of us, especially young Tommy. Often out of term we all spent the weekends at Rockwell's Barn at Ixton, rather than in Camford, and that meant that we could all use the pool. Ixton was much nearer to Cheltenham. We had also persuaded my parents to spend six weeks or so each year at Rockwell's Barn, so that both house and pool got more use, and I was able to see them more frequently. Tommy loved it at Ixton, and spent much of the school holidays there with either Jon and me or my parents, whom he also became very fond of. They were both nearing seventy, and they told me too that their newest grandchild had made them feel young again. They had given up hope of our daughter Cathy giving them great-grandchildren, as she showed no signs of getting married.

Chapter XXVI Sandro: Philip Ashburton's confession

The work I was doing at Rail-UK's test track was ended, and I had moved back to Camford to write my thesis. It seemed strange to have the spacious study at Octavia Avenue to work in, rather than our poky little room at Fountain Street. I had to spend a lot of time at the Faraday Library of Science and Engineering in Convocation Street. I would go there on my bike in the mornings, work till about 2 pm, then cycle home for a bite of lunch and continue working at home till 5 pm. I knew that after six years, I would be spending very little time in the future in that beautiful city: that an era of my life was almost over. That city, with its intertwining waterways, honey-coloured stone, ancient buildings and traditions had won my heart in a way that Venice, its Italian equivalent, never could. Those six years had anglicized me. My parents noticed that whenever I went home. It did not worry my mother of course, but Massimo must have felt that in a way I was betraying my upbringing. Everything I did seemed to increase the gulf between me and the father I loved.

When I got to Camford to begin writing, there was about six weeks of the Pentecost term left, and I dined with Jennifer and her boyfriend in Hall on Sunday nights till the end of term. Dom could not accompany me, as he was no longer resident and had not yet taken his M.A., and in any case had to drive back to Cheltenham to start work early the next day. We knew that we could not always live in each other's pocket. I did not stay in college for coffee, though sometimes Jennifer and Charlie would come home with me to have coffee with Dom and my fathers.

In terms of publications, all I had was a couple of communications, one read to the Institute of Civil Engineers, the other a poster at a meeting of the International Railway Signalling Society. However, Philip, as Dr Ashburton now allowed me to call him, told me that my work looked good, and we were preparing a couple of full length papers on our work. Even if Rail-UK decided not to pursue my project, there would be no problems in my getting the doctorate. I got the thesis finished in a week short of the six months, and the examiners were appointed immediately. The external examiner was a German professor, and I was not looking forward to the oral examination.

One night I was invited to dinner at Philip's home. I knew nothing about his private life, and it turned out that he was a bachelor, who, while he dined most nights in college, would not take rooms there. He turned out to be an excellent cook, and after the meal we sat drinking Madeira. To my amazement, he apologized to me for the anti-gay stance that he had taken earlier in my career. He told me that after the party that I had arranged in my first year, he had been set thinking. He said that he had known since he was a student that he was himself gay, but had tried to suppress his homosexual feelings, because he felt that fucking men was unnatural, dirty and sinful. Now, in his middle forties, certain that he would never marry, he was feeling desperately lonely. He now thought that maybe sexual relations with a man whom one loved was not sinful. His discussion with Professor Bairstow had convinced him of that. He had started going out with a fairly new postdoc in the department, a man of about thirty-five, and rather fancied him. He suspected that the man was gay, and asked me how he should set about finding out. As a man without experience, he really did not know how to proceed.

I asked him what they did when they went out together, and how often they went out. Did they go to cinema, theatre or concerts, or what? He said that they usually went to classical concerts or recitals, usually twice per week and ate together on the nights they went out. I asked what the attitude of his friend was, did he for instance give any indication of being gay? He replied that not as far as he could see. I suggested that the only reasonable approach was just to spend more time with him. "Get to know him better, indeed get as nearly intimate as two men can get in friendship, and then you will know, and he will too, if you want to get into bed together. Don't forget that he has needs just as much as you do. Indeed, if you get close, he might make the first move. In the meantime, just enjoy his company and his friendship. That is valuable in itself, and man-man love does not necessarily have to lead to sex. A fulfilling deep friendship is satisfying and comfortable and really more important than ten minutes leading up to an orgasm. If that approach doesn't appeal to you, then it's not really companionship you want, it's just sex. And I'm sorry that that is not something that I can advise you about."

There was a short silence after I had delivered this long speech. Then Philip said, "Thank you, Sandro. I realize that I have been letting carnal desires dominate my thinking. You are right of course, it's the relationship that counts, not what we do together. I would like to introduce you to Jim, and hear your opinion about him."

"I won't be able to tell you whether he's gay or not. My own sense of gaydar is not very strong. But if you like him so much, it will be interesting to meet him."

So the three of us went out to a concert together round about the end of my last term in Boni's. Jim Aldermaston was a handsome man, slim and fit, with short dark hair and an endearing smile. Philip had told me that Jim was not engaged, or dating a woman. The fact that such an attractive man had not been snapped up by a woman, suggested that he might be gay. I could understand why he fancied him. I couldn't help hoping that the evening might excite Jim's jealousy, so I pretended that I knew Philip better than I really did. After the concert, we went for a drink in the Lion, the nearest pub to Boni's. Philip bought a round of drinks, and as he put mine on the table, I reached out fairly obtrusively and touched his hand. When we stood up to go, I touched Philip on the shoulders. When we said our farewells, I put my arm round Philip's shoulders for a brief moment, and then left them. I reckoned that those few gestures would signal to Jim that Philip might be gay, and if he had feelings for Philip, they would certainly be stirred up. The action carried little risk, because everyone in the Engineering department knew that I was gay.

Chapter XXVII Sandro: Sandro's viva voce exam and afterwards

During the usual delay of awaiting my Ph.D. oral exam, I began work as a Rail-UK employee. My place of work was to be at the offices in Swindon, where I was to be trained in the techniques of automated testing of track quality. This involved working in a highly sophisticated train, full of computers and equipment, that several times a week was employed in testing the quality of the rail track on all mainline routes. Sometimes we had to do this at night, but generally the runs could be fitted into gaps between the regular trains.

I studied the rail timetable carefully, and established that with careful choice of trains, it was possible to commute from Swindon to Cheltenham daily in little more than an hour. A season ticket for my darling Dom would be expensive, but worth it for us both to be together, providing that we could find a decent house near the station. Moreover, home working was possible for YTS employees on a limited scale, and for most of the projects he was engaged in, he could work from home one day per week. He could also work on the train. We managed to find a small, but cosily furnished terrace house near Swindon station on which we took a one-year lease.

Swindon has always been a major railway centre, and in spite of the closure of the locomotive works, still houses many of the administrative and technical functions of Rail-UK. In recent years it has become known as the home town of Thursday Next and her family in the books of Jasper Fforde. It lies within easy reach of both London and Bristol. Getting to Camford took a little longer. I was hopeless at cooking, and on the days that Dom was commuting, we tended to eat out or use takeaways. We found two decent restaurants, one Italian and one Chinese, and we became regular patrons.

A couple of months into our stay in Swindon, I was summoned to Camford for my Ph.D. exam. It was on a Friday, and Dom could not take the day off, but arranged to get to Camford in the evening. The big event was timed for 2 pm, and attired in subfusc with B.A. gown and hood, I arrived at a small room in the Engineering department to be cross-examined on my newly developed signalling application. The only persons present were myself and the two examiners also in academic dress, one of whom was a colleague of Philip in the department. The whole experience turned out to be a bit of an anticlimax. Professor Schwarz asked me very searching questions for half an hour, which I answered without too much of a struggle. He then pronounced himself satisfied and we spent another half hour chatting about jobs. He said that while Rail-UK was a good place to get experience, if I wanted to do cutting edge research, Germany, France or Switzerland were the best places for rail engineering.

I was asked to leave while the examiners discussed their verdict. After ten minutes I was recalled and congratulated, and the examiners shook my hand. We came out to find Philip with Jon and David waiting for me, and again my hand was shaken and my two uncles kissed me. I insisted that we all went to the pub, and the nearest was the Whale and Wheelbarrow. We only had one pint of beer each, as my uncles were taking me to dine on High Table at Boni's. However, before we left, Philip took me on one side and asked me to call round at his house the next morning. He said that I was welcome to bring Dom.

It was of course the first time I had ever eaten on High Table. After the meal, Dom arrived and joined us for coffee and port in the Senior Common Room. Dom had managed to snatch a meal, and we had a table booked for the next evening at the Michelin two-star Magic Python restaurant. Our uncles treated us generously to the college port before we went home by taxi to Octavia Avenue.

Next day, Dom and I turned up at Philip's house about 10 am. To our surprise, Jim Aldermaston was with him. Philip introduced him to Dom. "A lot has happened since that evening in June when we went to the concert, Sandro," Philip said, "and I owe you my thanks. After you had left us, Jim asked me if you were gay, and I said that you were. He looked quite cross. He said that he was surprised that I had not objected to you 'pawing me' as he put it. I said that it was OK, that you were in a fixed relationship with your partner and the touching was just a friendly gesture. I did not mind being touched, as you were a good friend and colleague."

At this point, Jim began to speak. "I felt quite jealous that this young guy had had the cheek to touch you. I liked you very much, but was afraid to say anything because I knew that you were anti-gay. It never occurred to me that you were in the closet! But when you didn't object to his actions, I realized that you must really be gay. It never occurred to me that you fancied me!"

"So, thanks to you, Sandro, we have found one another!" said Philip. "Jim at once asked me if I was gay and I said yes, that I had been in the closet for years because I was afraid of my unnatural lusts. He asked what was unnatural about loving someone, and he kissed me. The earth seemed to stand still. I had never felt such joy and happiness. I had always envied the fact that you and Dom seemed so happy together, and now I know from my own experience what it feels like."

Jim said, "Sandro, I'm sorry that I thought that you were making a pass at your Ph.D. supervisor! It turns out that you had been giving him good advice. I've shagged a few men in my time, but this the first time that I have loved someone. Philip is right: love transforms you. I am going to move in with him! Let's go for a drink to celebrate. You are the first people we have shared our joy with." He shook my hand and then Dom's.

I said, "I shouldn't really be saying this, because it's none of my business, but Jim, please be gentle with Philip. He has a lot of inhibitions to lose, and he has to reorient his ways of thinking completely. A Damascene conversion does not instantly reorder the mind, so take it steadily." I was rather proud by now of my command of idiomatic English. Jon would have been impressed to hear me! "Do either of you have family who needs to know your good news?"

"My family already knows that I'm as queer as a nine-pound note, but they will be glad that I have found a man to settle down with," said Jim.

"I don't know how I am going to tell my mother," said Philip, "she will be very shocked and might disown me!"

"Not if you introduce him and give her a chance to get acquainted before you break the news. Meeting one's future in-laws is always fraught with apprehension, and there is always the fear of family complications. Dom and I know, we have gone through all that ourselves. But it may well be less of an ordeal than you fear. Most mothers are more inclined to accept that their son is gay than are fathers. And in any case, what the fuck does it matter when you have each other?"

Of course there was a small sensation in the Engineering department when Philip and Jim came out, the more so because of Philip's previous anti-gay attitude. In Philip's college, Islip, there was also something of a sensation. Camford loves to gossip about personal relationships. That is why we were so reluctant to reveal Dom's identity.

The evening after my doctoral exam, David and Jon took Dom and me out to dinner at the Magic Python. Caterina Fabioni was babysitting Tommy. We had the tasting menu: a large number of very small quantities of food, each served with a different wine. We felt that the occasion was too special just to eat at the Venezia, but we missed the gay-friendly waiters.

Next day all four of us went to the Men's Fitness Centre to shake off our slight hangovers from the night before. We each swam 40 lengths, and then returned home to have brunch with Caterina and Tommy. Tommy was now in the middle of puberty. He was sprouting hair everywhere, and his voice would change pitch suddenly. Fortunately, he showed no signs of teenage stroppiness. He willingly did as he was told. We said goodbye to him in the evening and returned to Swindon on a late train.

Chapter XXVIII Dom: Planning the partnership

After six months in Swindon, we were both established in our jobs, and both enjoying the work. We decided that the time had come to tie the knot and sign up to a lifetime commitment. I had decided that to avoid complications and misunderstandings, we should have the civil partnership ceremony (such as it is) at the Registry Office in Shedley, the nearest town to Getheringthwaite, on a Saturday, followed by a buffet lunch in a pub, and the private act of blessing and worship, (which we regarded as the important bit) in the Hall chapel on the Sunday at noon, followed by a sit-down lunch in the state dining room. The second event would be for close family only, with the exception of course of Tim Ingledown.