Dori-Dore 01

Dori-Dore 01

Hey there hey, people, I'm Dori-Dore and this story is about my emergency preparations for a recent storm that was brewing overhead and how that all panned out. I mean, we have like a million storms a year down here, but this one came with a twist or two.

First, according to Gail Storms for TV3, I had about 36 hours to make my emergency preparations, which I was an expert at and secondly, well, an acquaintance, Vic, was next door putting stuff away at his Aunt Millie's place, so you know, I threw some morning leisure shorts, fluffed my hair and went to see if he would help me scoot my patio furniture a little further back to the corner, near the house. I mean, I wouldn't be mad if the storm carried that old furniture away or anything, but I wasn't going to be mad about talking to or even flirting with Vic either. I mean, it's not like I have a million opportunities to either flirt or talk to people, so.

"Vic, I mean, maybe you could scoot the furniture just a little further back towards the corner, like out of camera range from you aunt's security system, so."

"Ugh [scoot, screech, scoot, screech, screech, screech], is this good then, Dori-Dore?"

"Oh, that's perfect, Vic."

[Sneaks a surprising arm wrap around Vic's neck]

"Thanks for helping me move my patio furniture to the corner of the patio in front of the storm, Vic."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

"Well, Dori-Dore, I was doing the same thing next door for my Aunt Millie anyways, but that was just a little surprising then, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

"Well, I mean, weren't you giving me the eye few weeks ago over at Jack's lace then, um-mmm?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

"Oh, I mean, to be fair, Dori-Dore, I was keeping my eye on you because a few of Jack's friends were, well, I mean, your Rosey cheeks are nice as they are and I don't think they would be as nice with black, blue and purple, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

"So, you're my hero twice then, right Vic?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

Oh, I mean, folks, that lip locking was from him to me, so judge us both then!

"So, is this how you usually dress in mornings then, Dori-Dore? I mean, it's no wonder Aunt Millie's neighborhood blog, "Millie's Meddling" is such a big hit then."

"Well, I know that you think I'm weird, Vic, but I am committed and I put in the work, so. And I'm not trending this week on "Millie's Meddling" since Mr. Johnson got caught cleaning Mr. Benson's fishing pole, so."

"And you're sure we're out of sight from Aunt Millie's cameras then?"

"LOL, is your busy body aunt screaming from her rear deck, Vic?"

"Well, no, so, I mean, when and how did you get so good at kissing then, Dori-Dore?"

"Oh, first, thanks for saying that and well, sometimes video gamer buddies get bored with video games, but they don't leave the couch, but that was way back in day, Vic, I mean, I'm not cheating on anyone, so? Also, I mean, the patio table left a dirt spot on your t-shirt, so let's step inside so I can spot clean that for you. I mean, I can hear the "grr, grr, grr" of your aunt's cameras moving about, so?"

"Well, I mean, just so this is between us and just so I can lecture you on what it takes to be prepared for a big storm, Dori-Dore, so."

I mean, I made the "grr, grr, grr" sounds with my mouth, but it worked. I mean, wow, I totally needed some experience with backwards walking someone into my house, but baby steps, right?

"Oh, this just won't do, Vic. I mean, how can I spot clean your t-shirt with you keeping your shorts on then, so?"

LOL, yeah, like guys need to be lectured about dropping their sports shorts, right?

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah hm, hm oomph, ahh]

"I mean, Vic, I may not know much, but I'm not afraid of a human body and my proof of that is that I haven't passed out from you being basically naked with me, so lecture me, Vic."

[Slow stroke, slip, slide, slow stroke, slip, slide]

"Oh, ooh, OMG, ag, ag, oh, I mean, oh, you should have at least three days of food and water, oh."

[Slow stroke, slip, slide, slow stroke, slip, slide]

"OMG, that's soft and oh, ooh, you should make sure your fuel tank is full, oh, squeezing is OK, oh."

[Slow stroke, slip, slide, slow stroke, slip, slide]

"Geez, Dori-Dore, ooh, oh and hit the ATM for cash just in case of big power outages, OMG, OMG."

[Slow stroke, slip, slide, slow stroke, slip, slide]

Oh, so that's what pre-cum is then? LOL, I never really knew what the hell they were talking about, LOL, not that I wondered what post-cum was either, so.

"No one will ever know, Vic, I mean, I would never tell anyone that your emergency flashlight is fully charged right now, so."

Oh, I mean, so you're supposed to know what to do with in advance then? I mean, someone should say that then! Like put it on a poster board or something. Also, I mean, was I supposed to move my hand faster then?

"Oh, it's on you now, Dori-Dore, so catch it or swallow or do something else, but do it now!"

Seriously, you're supposed to know what to do that quick?

"What? Now Vic?"

"NOW!"

Well, technically, I barely pressed my lips to his purple helmet, so

[Blast, blast, blast, squirt, blast, blast, squirt, stream drizzle]

"Ahh, best pre storm ever."

[Gag, gulp, choke, ewe, slimy, thick, slimy, ewe, OMG, ewe, ugh, who does this, oh, stop, ooh]

I mean, technically, he was my boyfriend now and we would cuddle like they say on Chang, right?

"I hate to blow and go, but I blew, so I need to go then, Dori-Dore, so."

"[Cough, gag, spit, spit, gulp] Well, are you at least going to check in with tomorrow night if things go boom in the night, Vic?"

"Ah, sure, but stay curled up in the middle of your house if things go boom and don't forget to charge your phone in the morning, so bye."

Well, I mean, at least he didn't say that I was dumped, so.

But it was alright (no it wasn't) because I did have to get on the move myself to complete my own emergency preparations, which now included a "plus one emergency overnight backpack", just in case Vic came back to check on me when things were going boom. I mean, a guy needs a change of boxers, right?

And by the way, I mean, it's not like the gas station is a hang out for me, but that's for night time, so shopping was first, while the sun was still up and with 32 hours to go before the storm. And who wants to shop alone, right?

I mean, all I had to do was to text "shopping" to Mitzi and boom, I had a shotgun rider to Hillsdale.

"Well, SOB, Dori-Dore! I mean, when you asked to go emergency supplies shopping with you, I mean, I thought that I could swindle a department store pullover shirt out of you or something, but this place, right? I mean, this store is like 33% Ewe, 33% Ooh la, la and 100% right up your fem boy alley, so?"

"Well, Mitzi, I just wanted a new "construction crew" outfit just in case I have to pick up debris in my yard on Sunday morning and I know that you have Toga party next weekend and the seamstress here can make you a custom fit Toga costume that I promise you, will be your best swindle out of me yet, so?"

"And I'm fully supporting all of that [mwah], but what gives with the other emergency clothing that you're looking at then, huh? I mean, isn't the general sizing rule like small for teenagers and then medium for 20 to 21 and then large for after that then? I mean, these long PJ pants are large and so are these two t-shirts and so are these thin nylon sports and oops, I mean, huh, so are these super hero boxer shorts, so?"

"Oh, I mean, well, I mean, Mitzi, it's not like it's a plus one over-night emergency clothing situation or anything. I mean, I'll be wearing size large before you know it, so?"

"Well, I guess there is no harm in being prepared for the future then, like when you're 40 and fat, but it's none of my business that you see the need for a plus one emergency overnight situation then, so, about this form fitting bed sheet Toga costume then? Also, I mean, if I keep my mouth shut about your plus one emergency situation, I mean, can I get that outfit that they have on that mannequin too?"

"Oh, I mean, sure, um, sure."

"Hello there and welcome to Gary's, so, how can I help you today then? And I'm not letting you out of the store today with those "plus one emergency" super hero boxers, by the way. They will just ruin the moment. I'm Lizzie, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I'm looking for a new "construction crew" outfit and more appropriate plus one boxer shorts and Mitzi here has a Toga party coming up and it would be nice if she had a Toga costume that highlighted her figure and with the party theme being "braless", I mean, a couple of body adhesive pushup under cups wouldn't hurt to keep things pointing north, so?"

"Wait, what, what the hell, Dori-Dore?"

I mean, when Tori the seamstress approaches, I mean, what pending thunder storm, right? It's like bright sun beams just follow her, so.

"Shut it, honey and let your fem boy boyfriend speak! So, fem boy boyfriend, just how far north should your dream girl point then? Like North Star north or just the North Pole north? Also, Lizzie, get to work on a cute "construction crew" outfit for the fem boy boyfriend, if I overheard that correctly. And for Pete's sakes, Lizzie, replace his "emergency plus one" super hero boxer shorts with something a little more appealing then, which is literally anything, so."

"Got it, boss lady, I mean, with the last-minute emergency plus one pricing models, right?"

"LOL, of course, Lizzie, so, who is who then?"

"Oh, I mean, I'm Dori-Dore and I'm not anyone's fem boy boyfriend and this is my friend Mitzi, who is actually my dream of a girl, so."

"(LOL, I never knew that, Dori-Dore.)"

"Anyways, I mean, I'll leave the pointing north stuff between the two of you, but Mitzi should be the form fitting center of attention at the Toga party and I've been gaining quite a bit of nerve lately, so my "construction crew" outfit can be a little risqué. Oh, and my other clothing selections are just for when I turn 40 and get fat and not for any emergency overnight plus one situation, so?"

"Oh, I mean, everyone should buy clothing for 20 twenty years into the future then, right? Like when your skinny ass will fill out to fit into literally a large sized anything, so????"

I mean, Tori kind of had me there, right?

"Well, I'll just work things out with Lizzie then, while you help Mitzi, so."

"Fine, but you would a great fem boy boyfriend, anyways, Mitzi, shall we then?

Also, watching both of them walking back towards the fitting area, I mean, even a fem boy can have two dream girls, right? Not that I was staring at their asses as they walked or anything, so.

"LOL, I think he's watching us walk, Mitzi."

"Well, I think this is his sex, Tori, so."

Well, I mean, well, hey, I mean, "hello", I was just with Vic a few short hours ago, so!

"Alright then, Dori-Dore, I have three outfits for you try on then. This one is for your ride home today and would work pretty well at literally any gas station and this one is for curling up on your couch during the storm tomorrow and this one is obviously a nice "construction crew" tan leather rawhide outfit, so did you want to try them on while you listen to Tori form fit your dream girlfriend then? The fitting room walls are just fabric, so?"

"Oh, these tan rawhide boots are the whip and these tan khaki shorts look like the perfect length, so hell yeah, I'll try these on."

"Great, I mean, with our "whip ass" pricing models and all, but fess up, Dori-Dore, I can see in your face that you've been holding something back since you walked into the door, so? I mean, if you need or want some emergency plus one condom's, just say that. We're not shy here and we don't judge, so?"

"Well, I mean, an emergency plus one kit should be fully stocked, right?"

"I got your back, Dori-Dore and I'll keep things to the bottom of the pile to protect your dream girl and from any things that she might think about it and those are the last words that we need to say out loud, so, to the fitting room then?"

Oh, so Lizzie uses a gentle butt slap to point the way to fitting room then? LOL, just like Tori did with Mitzi? I mean, no one had ever done that to me before, so cool! Besides, Lizzie was more like me than I was like me, right?

Also, huh, someone should put a sign up that clearly states that the fitting rooms are just made from fabric walls! Oh wait, Lizzie just told me that, didn't he?

[Snip, snip, rip, tear, snip, snip, rip, rip, tear, feel up, push up, rip, snip, apply pushup cups, kiss, rip, snip]

"Well, that's one custom fit Toga costumes then, Mitzi and the adhesive pushup cups will feel better after a little while, but they are a one-time application, so just peel those off tonight and toss them. I mean, I assume that you will want to buy a few extras for between now and the party or if you want to share them with any of the other "sagging already" female Toga party guests. And I'll have Lizzie apply the "you're wet for me" pricing models, so?"

"Whew, I mean, wow, I mean, holy snap, then! I haven't pointed this far north since the damn things fully popped out on my chest then! But I mean, you heard Dori-Dore when he said that I should be the center of attention and all, so maybe just a little more cutting and tucking here and there then, Tori? And Dori-Dore has coin, so let's not get to concerned about the pricing model issues, so?"

[Snip, snip, rip, tear, snip, snip, rip, rip, tear, grope, poke, rip, snip, finger taps, pokes, kiss, rip, snip]

"I mean, whew, damn, you're good, Tori. Um, I mean, I have a friend who should probably have a better fitting Toga costume as well instead of just a poorly fitting cheap bed sheet and we're basically about the size, so?"

[Strip, snip, snip, rip, tear, snip, snip, rip, tear, feel up, grope, rip, snip, poke, wet poke, kiss, rip, snip]

"Oh, oh my, I mean, wow, which way were the dry undies then, Tori?"

"Out of the fitting area and just to the left along the wall and today's special is that your little fem boy boyfriend is just in the next fitting room and he has been listening basically the whole time, so?"

"Oh, well then, I mean, what's done is done, so?"

"(Treat him better, Mitzi. He's cute enough, but he seems fragile, so.)"

Oops, oops, whispering shouldn't be allowed, right? I mean, they should put that on a sign!

"I mean, are you weak in the knees then, Mitzi?"

"Oh, I am, Dori-Dore. I mean, are you wearing that mini on the way back to Middleton then? Also, huh, I didn't realize that your buns were that shapely, so. LOL, I also didn't realize that I could appreciate the efforts of a girl either, so."

I mean, I'm not much of one to wear a mini, but every CD probably has one in the closet anyways and Lizzie did take care to pick it out and define it as my gas station outfit. But to fair, it was the mini that pulled my buns so tightly together, so.

"Well, I need to stop for gasoline and hit the ATM after I drop you off at home, so. I mean, tomorrow is an emergency day and all, so?"

"Or you could do all that before you drop me off at my apartment. I mean, don't you need or want video proof of some things? All without judgement, by the way. Also, well, I need to continue to swindle you just a little more tonight, I mean, I need some emergency milk, so?"

Well, it wouldn't be very nice of me to be so well prepared and then leave my friend hanging, right?

[Video camera rolling through the rear window of the truck]

"Um, um, um then, I mean, that's the way gas should be pumped then."

"Oh, I mean, I'm not leaning like this to push my butt out in this mini sir, I just don't want to get gas splashed, so."

"And I'm not complaining, but listen, are you interested in getting man sprayed then?"

"What? On the night before the big storm then? That's how you prepare for an emergency then?"

"Well, not usually, but what if Gail Storms is right about the size of the storm, right? I mean, for all we know, tonight might be my chance to spray on you and it might be last chance for you to wiggle it at me while taking my spray, so?"

I mean, that was just stupid, right? Plus, wasn't all that just a little one sided then? I mean, I may not know much about sex, both things should be more even and equal, right?

[Truck door opens, camera phone on zoom]

"I mean, but sir, do I get to "wiggle it" at you from the comfort of your bed, you know, without the wife pulling her gun from her bra then, um-hmm?"

"Oh, I mean, I thought we could go behind the gas station, you know, to the "wiggle it baby" alley, so?"

Ta, ta, then, sir."

I mean, there was a "wiggle it baby" sign on the back of the gas station with an arrow, but seriously, right?

[Clunk, swipe, click, clank]

"Nice hair and it's a good idea to fuel up with such a big storm coming, so?"

"Oh, I mean, are you just making nice by saying something about my hair or are you saying something then?"

"(He's saying something, Dori-Dore) Oops, don't mind me sir, I'm just a weird girl who wanders around the gas station taking video and not his girlfriend, so carry on."

Oh, well, as soon as Mitzi stepped out of my truck with her boobs still pointing to the North Pole, right? Yeah, lane two was getting a little crowded.

"I mean, I think I'm saying something, but I don't have a lot of experience with saying something, so it may not sound like I'm saying something, but you should know that I'm trying to say something, so?"

"Dori-Dore."

"Bruce."

"Well, before this goes any further and before my friends boobs to Moon cause anymore of a crowd, I mean, I'm saying that I'm spoken for, so. Well, I'm saying that I'm speaking to be spoken for, but it's the same, so."

"Yeah, but right at this moment, right? I mean, we might never meet again after the big storm rolls through, so?"

"No, no, I get that, I mean, this might our last chance to wiggle anything because of the size of the storm, so I'm willing to hear what you were trying to say, I mean, assuming that you're really trying to say something, so?"

"Oh, I mean, I'm a man of few words, so I just want to sink it in deep, leave something behind, smoke a cig and then split, so?"

"Oh, so a standard CD and faggot straight guy date then, huh?"

"Well, it's on the sign and all, so?"

"Well, I'm claiming that I'm spoken for and my friend needs milk, so, ta, ta then."

What a loser, right? LOL, I mean, a loser who can clearly read, but what a loser! I mean, have a smoke!

[Door dingle, door dingle]

"Henry, I need some milk for my friend, so?"

"And I'm still waiting for you to milk my cock, Dori-Dore and the wife still wants to watch, so?"

"Well, I hooked you up with my friend, Josh, for that, so?"

"I mean, but as it turns out, he was only a closet faggot and he still swings the bat both ways and apparently, he still has a little swing in his game and the wife kept him to herself, so?"

Oh, I mean, I was wondering why I hadn't seen Josh around much then.

"Well, I'm spoken for and I already have an emergency plus one overnight backpack all ready to, so?"

LOL, I mean, life when hanging out at a gas station, right?

[Swipes credit card, grabs the milk]

[Swipes the ATM card and watches the spinning circle]

"Yep, it's a good idea to hit up the ATM before the big storm rolls in, right?"

"Oh, I mean, I believe in being prepared. I mean, I wasn't exactly prepared to be hit on so much tonight, but I'm prepared for everything else, so?"