Double Helix Ch. 10

Satisfied with everything we saw, I handed Andy sixteen hundred-dollar bills. I crouched and lifted one of the bins but struggled with the weight, setting it down again after only walking a few feet.

"One of those weighs close to a hundred fifty pounds," Andy said. "You might want to bring your truck over here."

"Yeah, sure," I said, chastened. I had watched him pull two of them from his van without any apparent struggle.

I brought the truck around and Tilly helped me lift them one at a time into the back. By the time we were finished, a young man and a woman had appeared from the direction of the warehouse, each with a rifle slung over one shoulder.

"This is Casey and Eric," Andy said, putting an arm around each of them. The girl looked like a teenager, the boy scarcely older. "They keep me safe. Kids, this is Norm and Tilly."

"Hey," the girl said, nodding at us. "We about done here, dad?"

"Yeah, watch the front for a few more minutes, will ya?" The siblings acknowledged the order and struck off to circle the building.

"Hey, Andy?" Tilly said. "If we were to need someone to take delivery of some non-contraband goods, a whole bunch of steel and glass, for example, would you take that on?"

"For the right price, I'll run just about anything except drugs. Give me a call and we can discuss the details."

"Thanks, Andy," I said, and shook his hand. "I'll contact you again in a few weeks to set up our next order."

"Remember," he said, pointing. "Four thousand, or no deal. I'm already out fifty bucks on that coffee, so I expect you to make good."

"We will," I promised. "We're going to need it."

"Looks to me like you have a lot of mouths to feed. If you're heading to Corvallis, watch out for checkpoints. You got about a one-in-three chance on the major highways. Stay safe, friends." He boarded his van and started away, braking at the front of the building to pick up his kids.

We got into our truck and started our own long trek back home. I took the service streets south for a few miles before getting on the freeway. Tilly had kept the open bag of coffee with her, and she drew in a deep breath over it. "That makes this whole trip worth it," she said. "Still sorry I came along?"

I looked over at her and sighed. "You were a huge help," I said. "And I enjoy our time together. But that's the problem. You have a way of getting under people's skins, into their heads. I guess it's just what you're made to do."

"No one designed me to fall in love with you." Never were words both so sweet and so bitter at the same time. I turned to look at her. She looked more vulnerable now than I had ever seen from her since coming out of her depression.

"I really don't need to hear that," I said.

"You can't know what it's like," she said. "Part of you wants me, and part of you rejects me. I'm being pushed and pulled at the same time."

I turned away again, feeling angry and bitter at myself as much as her. "I might know more about that than you think. But I have an obligation to the woman I love. You need to face facts, Tilly. There can never be anything between us. You're designed to make people happy, right? If you want me to be happy, the best thing you can do is to let it go, because right now, you're just making me miserable."

She sat in silence after I had finished, long enough for me to turn and look. She was staring straight ahead, pain creasing her face with dark lines. I looked away, determined not to let my own pity and compassion get to me, to make me take back the rebuke that she had needed to hear. She stirred after a time, settling back in her seat and leaning against the window to sleep.

I looked at her dozing form and only then let myself feel sorry for what I had said. It had to end, though. This pull, this attraction between us, was more than I could stand. Just being here alone with her made me feel guilty, as if I had already cheated on Nissi.

You did cheat on her, I reminded myself. I shook my head and focused on scanning the road ahead. I noticed for the first time the faint flashing of lights in the distance.

"Tilly, wake up," I said.

She stirred immediately and opened her eyes. She froze for just a moment before shooting bolt upright in her seat. "Checkpoint!" she said. "Norm, that's a checkpoint."

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I thought it might be." It was too far off for me to make out, maybe two miles, and could have been a construction site or a tow truck. "I'm looking for a place to turn around."

There was a concrete barrier on both sides of the road, and enough traffic on the highway to disabuse me of any notion of flipping around and going back the wrong way. We had only just left the metropolitan area south of Portland, and that would attract the attention of the police quicker than most anything I could do. I was also quickly running out of room, as brake lights filled the road in front of us, the traffic backed up for at least half a mile. We were passing through rural country, but highway 99 was a major artery through the state.

"It's not like the one we passed through in Tacoma," Tilly said. "There's police and a half-dozen National Guard. I don't think we can bribe our way though."

"Okay," I said, my mind whirling, "we've got no choice. I'll stop the truck and we'll jump out, leave it here. We'll have to find some way south."

"No!" Tilly said. "Norm, we need that food and we need this truck. We won't survive another month if we go back empty-handed." She looked around wildly, out the windows and at the side mirrors. "Put your hazard lights on, pull over to the median."

I did as she said, though more than half the truck's width still stuck into the lane. A car blared its horn as it swerved to speed around us, only to brake a hundred yards up when it hit the back of the line to the checkpoint. "What are we going to do?" I asked.

"I'm taking the food," she said. "Go two miles up the road past the checkpoint and wait for me there. Exactly two miles, okay?"

"Tilly, this is crazy," I said.

"I know. Wait for me as long as you can. It may take me a few hours." With that, she got out and slammed her door. There was a pause, in which another car went by, and then I heard the back door roll up. It came down again seconds later.

I put the truck in park and took off my belt to scoot over to the passenger seat. I caught a glimpse of Tilly, her petite figure perching one huge, heavy bin over each arm, as she dashed for the barrier at the shoulder of the road. She leapt over it, carrying herself and three-hundred pounds of weight. She almost went down when she landed, the weight of the bins unbalancing her, but managed to catch herself with some quick footwork. A few more steps and she had disappeared from sight.

I put the truck in gear and turned off the hazard lights, pulling up smoothly at the back of the line of cars. I noticed the two bags of coffee that Tilly had left behind. They were small enough not to get me in trouble for hoarding, but I stashed them behind the seat anyway.

It took most of an hour to make my way to the front of the line. The guardsmen seemed bored with their duty. I was terrified that someone would recognize me, but they were intent on checking the truck quickly and waved me on through after confirming that I had no genemod markers.

I watched the odometer slowly spin until it indicated two miles. There were no concrete barriers here, so I pulled over onto the shoulder and switched off the truck. Trees flanked the road, so I wouldn't see Tilly until she was right on top of me. I just hoped that she was as accurate in her reckoning of the distance as she seemed to indicate.

I must have dozed off, because I woke to a tapping sound next to my head. I turned my head to look and my heart leapt into my throat at seeing a black, female police officer standing there. I breathed deep and calmed my nerves as I rolled down the window. The sun was up, its ruddy light catching the tops of the trees.

"Good morning," the woman said cheerily. "Are you broken down?"

"Uh, no," I said, smiling sheepishly. "I felt like I was about to nod off, so I pulled over to sleep."

"Good call," she said, "but you'll need to move on now. Newberg is just up the road, plenty of hotels there. I can guide you in if you need me to."

"No," I said. "I think I'm okay now. I just needed a little nap."

"Alright then," she said. "But if you need to sleep, get off the road before you get so tired you have to stop on the highway. Okay?"

"Yeah," I said, and started the engine. "I'll keep that in mind."

I rolled forward slowly, watching her in my rear-view mirror. She got back in her patrol car and sat, watching me. Traffic was almost nonexistent, so I was able to pull easily into the right lane and accelerate. I watched the side of the road as I went, irrationally hopeful that I might spot Tilly, that she might have come back to the road farther down and was waiting for me. I got off the highway in Newberg and found an empty parking lot in front of an abandoned strip mall where I could stop the truck.

I sat, alternately thinking hard about my predicament and pounding the steering wheel in frustration. Probably four or five hours had passed while I waited at the side of the road last night. She should have been there. What could have kept her? Had she been picked up by the police?

"No," I said aloud. That couldn't be. I wouldn't accept that. Calling up the GPS on the truck, I began to survey the roads north and east of Newberg. She had to be out there somewhere. I had to find her.