Down by the River

My hands flew to his hair, keeping him as close as possible. I felt him dragging the hem of my dress upwards and I shivered in response to the cool caress of the wind on my newly exposed legs and thighs. Before long, he managed to undress me, and as I lay there naked, his eyes roamed over my body, sending blood rushing up my face. Out of instinct, my hands tried to cover my private parts, but Marcus only smiled gently and held them.

"You're excruciatingly gorgeous," he whispered before hungrily kissing me again.

I wrapped my arms around him, gently biting at his ears while he placed tiny, light kisses on my neck. I wanted to feel him -- him, not layers of clothing that he still wore. Frustrated, I groaned and gently tugged at the hem of his shirt. With a soft laugh, he pulled away from me -- just long enough to shed off his clothes. My breath caught as I once again beheld his naked form. His manhood was fully erect, and I could not help but think of what lay ahead.

"Marcus," I said softly, almost in a purr, as I reached for him again.

He was all too glad to come to my arms. His mouth sought one of my breasts, licking and teasing, setting me on fire. One of his hands was playing with the other breast. After a while, he turned his mouth on the other breast, torturing me with his gentleness, with the way he took his time. Slowly, his mouth travelled downwards, his hands stroking my thighs.

When finally his mouth came in contact with my sex, I let out a gasp. His tongue darted out of his mouth to lick at my slit; I bit my lips to prevent myself from groaning too loudly. I gripped his hair lightly, wanting to just hold his head down there as his mouth continued to explore me. A moment later, he played with my nub of pleasure with his tongue, flicking at it wildly, almost driving me nuts. I lifted my hips upwards, gasping and groaning in pure pleasure as he continued to do that. Soon enough, waves and waves of pleasure racked my body, and Marcus held me close.

He spread himself on top of me, spread my legs and settled himself between them. I let him guide me as he bent my knees, keeping my feet planted on the ground. Satisfied, he buried his face on my hair and murmured something that I could not comprehend.

"What?" I whispered breathlessly, determinedly willing myself to focus on what he was saying.

"You have not done this before, have you?" he asked.

"No," I admitted, somewhat blushing in spite of what we had already done.

He smiled at me, kissing my lips briefly. "I thought so. I just wanted to confirm so that I would know how I should proceed from here." He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I don't want to hurt you unnecessarily. I'll make it as painless as I possibly can."

Heart thumping inside my chest, I just nodded. If I were to be honest, his little speech made me nervous. How much would it hurt? What if it hurt too much in spite of what he told me?

All thoughts fled from my head, however, when he kissed my mouth again. His hand, which was still holding mine, guided it to his shaft. With my mouth still locked with his in a very passionate kiss, I closed my fingers around his manhood, squeezing it lightly. It earned a groan from him. Without hesitation, I began stroking it up and down. Marcus ended our kiss and just buried his face in the crook of my neck, nuzzling. Something wet was already coming out of the tip of his shaft; I touched it with a finger and spread it downwards. My other hand found his balls and gently massaged it. After a while, I felt Marcus stiffen on top of me. With a loud groan, his head snapped up, while something warm, wet and sticky spurted out of his shaft onto my stomach. Startled, I gasped.

When Marcus opened his eyes and saw that startled look on my face, he laughed, before showering my face with tiny kisses. Blushing, I wound my arms around his neck and kissed his shoulder.

"What's so funny about that?" I asked.

"You did not expect my seeds to shoot out, did you?" he said, still chuckling.

My face burned hotter, making him laugh even more. I slapped him lightly on his arm, somewhat embarrassed, although I felt like laughing, too. I had no idea what was coming; could he blame me for being surprised?

His laughter was really infectious. In a few moments, I was already laughing with him. He continued to plant teasing kisses on my face and neck even as he laughed, while his hands travelled lightly on my skin, tickling me.

"My god, Selene, you are driving me crazy over you," he said, grinning, as his laughter subsided. "Your innocence is quite endearing."

We shared another kiss, and as our tongues duelled, one of his hands found its way downwards to caress my sex. I groaned into his mouth, loving the way his hand was stroking me. I felt a finger slipping inside, and I gasped as he moved it in and out, in and out slowly. An ache was starting to build inside me, making me yearn for more than that finger. It was quite maddening.

"Marcus, please," I begged, moaning. "Please."

He ended his sweet torture with another kiss. I felt the tip of his shaft near my entrance, guided by his hand. He whispered soothing words to my ears as he slowly pushed it in, earning a gasp from me. Slowly, he pulled it out, only to push it in again, deeper this time. He continued the rhythm, plunging in and out of me, always pushing deeper and deeper with every thrust. In the middle of this, I felt the pain he was warning me about, but as he had promised, he tried not to make it hurt so much as to make me dread the deed. Slowly, even that pain dulled, and all I could feel was the immense pleasure of being one with him at last. We established a rhythm as our bodies merged -- a rhythm that got faster and faster until I felt as if I was ready to explode. Crying out, I felt an intense release from deep inside, leaving me convulsing beneath Marcus. He continued to pump in me for a few more moments before he, too, stiffened and cried out, his seeds exploding inside me.

Marcus rolled off me to lie down by my side, pulling me close as he kissed my forehead again. I nestled close to him, putting my head on his shoulder and draping an arm around his waist.

"Thank you," I whispered, looking up at him with a shy smile on my lips.

"You're thanking me?" He flashed a smile that made his eyes twinkle with something more than mirth. "I should be the one thanking you. You were wonderful."

I grinned. "For a first timer?"

He laughed at that and lovingly pinched the tip of my nose. "You're something, Selene." With infinite care, as if he thought I was made of glass, he pulled me even closer, stroking my back with his hand. "It won't hurt to learn a thing or two. Certainly, it won't hurt to know that a man's cock explodes with seeds when he reaches his climax. That will take away startled expressions that are just too sweet to ig -- "

"You tease me!" I cried, already laughing even before he burst out laughing again. "You could have told me about that before!"

"I cannot remember a time when I had laughed in the middle of such an act," he said, kissing my head. "Curiously, I feel as if that made it more intimate, more remarkable. It reminds me that I made love to a woman so unlike all the other ones I have known."

I smiled and looked up at him. "You flatter me, but it does not take away the fact that you laughed!"

"I could not help it!"

With that came another burst of laughter that so warmed my heart. I sat up, bent my head down, and kissed him full on the lips before standing up. The air was starting to get colder, and as I suspected, the sun would be setting in a few more minutes. It was time for me to go home.

Quickly, I ran to the river, washing my body, knowing at least that the smell of sex clung to me. Grandmother would not appreciate that.

Marcus sat up and watched me, grinning as he did so. When I was certain that I was already clean, I ran back to where he was to collect my clothes. He, however, grabbed his shirt and started drying my skin with it, telling me that Grandmother might suspect that I was up to something if I went home still wet from my dip on the river.

"You will be here again tomorrow, won't you?" he told me, kissing my lips when I was fully dressed again.

"I am always fetching water for the chickens, my grandmother and myself," I told him, chuckling. "You, on the other hand..."

"Will come back tomorrow, as usual," he said, smiling as he pulled away to grab my bucket and fetch some water.

"Don't you ever get tired of leaving town and coming all the way here?" I asked, somewhat hoping that he would say no, for I did not want him to stop seeing me. "It is a long journey."

"I come here on horseback; it is not as tiring as you deem it to be."

"Still..."

"I come here for only one reason," he said softly, placing the bucket of water on the ground between us. His eyes held mine, and a small smile came to his lips as his fingers stroked my cheekbone. "To see you, to be with you. You may not understand, but that is enough for me to forget the distance that I have to travel each day. I will always come back here for you, Selene."

I swallowed hard, afraid that his words would make me cry. Grabbing his hand, I smiled and planted a kiss on his palm before lifting the bucket and walking away, knowing in my heart that I, too, would always come back there for him.

*****

I continued to meet with Marcus secretly for more than a month, always eating lunch with him except on the days that I had to walk to Mary's house. Like before, the two of us would exchange stories, although now, it was mostly him who did the talking, for I insisted that I wanted to learn more about his life than to tell him about mine. Sometimes, we would skip that chat period, but always, we would make love, sometimes lying on the blanket, sometimes on the grass, and sometimes even as we bathe in the river. It was probably my most anticipated time of the day.

At times, as I did my chores at home, I would notice Grandmother watching me. Under her scrutinizing eyes, I would always hide the blush that came to my face. I was positive that she was aware of my secret, and I quite dreaded the moment she would ask me to confess, but she never said anything about it, for which I was glad. I had no idea how I would explain things to her, how I would justify my decision of letting Marcus take me body and soul every time we met even though we have not known each other for that long.

Two more times I went to Mary's house, as I always did, and I realized just how truthful Lucas was being when he told me that Mary wondered what brought about the change in me. Like Grandmother, she watched me when she thought I did not know, but, still like Grandmother, she never asked me directly about it. Even Lucas seemed to finally realize that I would not say anything about my secret to him, for during our walk home, he never tried to talk to me about it again.

In time, I realized what it was that they noticed in me. Even though I still loved the way I lived with my Grandmother, a certain restlessness has crept into my soul. I was always wondering what life would be like if I did not live in the middle of the forest -- if I lived, instead, in town. Of course, I never told anybody about it -- not even Marcus -- for I knew that I would never leave the forest where I grew up. If I ever decided to, it would be for only a few months, but always, I would come back to the place where I knew I belonged.

I was starting to get used to my new routine -- of doing my duties to Grandmother as quickly as I could and spending time with Marcus for most of the day -- when an unexpected thing happened. It would mark the beginning of a very painful episode in my life.

After meeting with Marcus and having an intense session of lovemaking with him, I went home as usual, determined to act as normally as possible around Grandmother. The sun was already low on the horizon, and even though there was still enough light to aid in seeing, I expected to see lit lamps in our hut. What I did not expect was that every lamp would be lit. It could only mean one thing: there was a visitor.

Hurriedly, I went inside, wondering if the food I cooked earlier was enough for our guest -- or guests. Thankfully, it was only Lucas I saw inside, having a chat with Grandmother as he prepared the table for dinner. He stiffened when he saw me, but immediately flashed a smile -- forced though it was -- to please Grandmother.

"You are home at last," Grandmother said, smiling warmly at me when I took her hand and kissed it. "Lucas and I have been waiting for you for quite a while already."

I smiled at her and turned to Lucas. "I'm sorry. I got so distracted with my wanderings that I did not realize it is almost time for dinner." Looking at the table, I noticed that there was beef there -- for sure brought by Lucas from Mary. "You are very kind to bring us food."

"Mary told me to bring it here," he said, shrugging.

Lucas never got used to the habit of calling Mary 'Mother', although from time to time, he would. "Thank her for us, then."

The three of us started eating, chatting idly. I noticed, then, that Lucas avoided talking directly to me as much as possible. He could not even look me in the eye for more than five seconds. We grew up together, and that kind of attitude was something I knew very well. He was hiding something from me -- something unpleasant. His unexpected visit was also an indication. I decided to wait until dinner was over before I asked him what it was.

When at last, we were done eating, Grandmother shooed the two of us out of the house, explaining that Lucas had something to tell me. Seeing that it was already dark, she invited Lucas to spend the night with us, saying that I would surely not mind sleeping inside her room. Lucas accepted the invitation before walking out of the hut with me.

We ended up in the vegetable garden and I sat on the bamboo bench there. Lucas took the time to light the lamps hanging from the poles on either side of the bench, before sitting down beside me.

"What's up?" I asked him, smiling.

He sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he stared at the darkness ahead. "I came here this afternoon, hoping to tell you something and intending to go home before dark, but when I arrived, your grandmother was alone."

For no apparent reason, my heart started beating faster, and I held my breath. Something told me that I should perhaps stand up, ask Lucas what it was that he wanted to say, and then go back inside the hut. My instincts were telling me that I would not like what he was going to say, but before I could rise from the bench, he already continued speaking.

"I asked her where you were," he said, "and she said that you'd very likely be in the river, fetching water."

I froze. Oh god. No...

Lucas sighed again. "I told her I'd meet you there then, perhaps to help you carry the bucket of water home. Grandmother agreed, of course."

He paused. I could not look at him. I did not know what to say. If he indeed headed down to the river that afternoon...

"Who is he?" he asked softly.

I closed my eyes. So he saw Marcus. Big deal. If there was one person I'd tell about Marcus first, I knew it would be Lucas, not Grandmother. It was just as well that he should see Marcus now.

"Who is he?" he repeated, still softly.

"Marcus," I answered.

"When did you first meet him?"

"That day Mary baked a cake for me."

"And how long have you two been lovers?"

I looked at him, glaring. "Lucas!"

He met my glare with a frown. "You won't deny it, will you? I saw the two of you quite clearly."

I swallowed. But of course. Marcus and I spent most of that afternoon lovemaking. "I think it is none of your business."

Lucas fell silent for a time, but only for a time.

"Does your grandmother know about him?"

"I don't want to talk about this," I told him, standing up. "This conversation is over, unless you have something more to say that does not concern Marcus or me."

He looked at me with eyes that hid what was inside. Sitting grimly there on the bench, shadows created by the lamplight dancing on his face, Lucas looked nothing like the person I knew. Somehow, he looked ethereal. For the first time, I looked at him and saw not the Lucas I grew up with -- the Lucas who played with me when we were children and walked me home every single time I visited them -- and not even the Lucas who kissed me hesitantly one day. Instead, I saw the man Lucas had become: tall, well-built, handsome Lucas, who now looked at me with cold eyes that hid everything I knew and loved about him.

"You deserve better than that, Selene."

It broke my heart to see this man and hear him talk like this. "What?"

"He could have at least treated you with respect and taken you to a bed," he said between his teeth.

"Quit it!" I cried, angry at him now. "What goes on in my life does not concern you, Lucas, and I'd appreciate it if you quit meddling with my affairs! You don't know Marcus and you have no right to say anything against hi -- "

"Why?" he interjected, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Do you know him? How well do you know him?"

It rendered me speechless. What was he implying? That I gave myself to somebody I did not even know? I knew Marcus. I might not have known him for years, but my heart knew him, and that was enough. How could Lucas suggest...

"You," I whispered, shaking my head at Lucas. He was my best friend! I thought he would at least try to understand. Anger was swelling up inside me, and I pursed my lips closed, determined to not say anything that I would regret later. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Are you afraid that what I am saying may be the truth?" he asked, standing up and towering over me.

How could he say that? How could he even think that? I tried hard not to yell at him. "No. I'm afraid that I'd say or do something that will break our friendship up for good."

"Wake up, Selene," he said, gripping me by the shoulders and shaking me. "He is just going to hurt you!"

I pushed him away as hard as I could and glared at him. "And who will not hurt me? You?"

Surprise registered on his face, breaking the coldness in his eyes. For a brief moment, I saw the pain that registered there, quickly hidden behind those cold eyes again before he turned his back on me. I stood there, dumbstruck, before realizing that it was I who hurt him -- the man who had been nothing if not kind and brotherly to me all my life.

"Lucas," I began, reaching for his arm. "I'm s -- "

"Go back to the hut and tell Grandmother that I cannot spend the night here," he said calmly, gently releasing my grip on his arm. "Thank her for me, but explain to her that Mary will be worried if I do not return home tonight."

"It is already dark," I told him, swallowing my tears back. "Just spend the night and go home tomorrow at the crack of dawn. I promise to walk you at least halfway..."

He turned around to face me and gave me a small smile. To me, who had known him all my life, that smile looked forced, false. The hard coldness in his eyes did nothing to shake away that feeling. "Thank you, but I need to go home tonight."

He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before leaving me frozen in place by the pain of causing him pain. I did not know how long I stood there, staring at the darkness that swallowed him, but when the lights of the lamp started to flicker, I finally headed home.

Grandmother was already asleep in her room, and my pillow and blanket was already atop the mat that she put on the floor, but I did not sleep there as she thought I would. Instead, I went to my room and lay on the cot. I lay there quietly, hugging the pillow Grandmother provided for Lucas.

*****

The next day, for the first time, I forgot to meet with Marcus, too bothered by what took place the night before. It was already sunset when I finally came back to my senses, and against Grandmother's order, I left the house to fetch water from the river, but he was not there. There was, however, a pretty bouquet of flowers on the spot where he always spread the picnic blanket. The flowers were already somewhat wilted, but they told me that he came, and I was glad.