Dr. Sven's Penis Enhancing Ointment

"How big is yours?"

Joe looked across the office at Angela, his new temp secretary. What was she on about?

"How big is my what?"

"You know. Your thing?"

"I'm sorry. What thing"

"Your willy! How big is it?"

Joe felt his face go red. What a question. Mrs Frobisher, his old secretary would never have been so impolite. Still, girls nowadays were different.

"I can't tell you that!"

"Why ever not?"

"It's private," Joe felt his face burning, but it wasn't just because it was private that he was embarrassed. Any mention of the size of his willy made him embarrassed. He had measured it over and over again and he just couldn't get it bigger than four and a half inches. He had suspected this was on the small size and research on the internet had proved it. It was within normal limits, but only just. Still, within normal limits was average wasn't it?

"Go on, you. You can trust me."

Joe felt somehow to say nothing would be an admission of inadequacy. Size wise that is.

"Average," he said.

Angela sighed. She could see she wasn't going to get much more out of him. She had been thinking of a secretaries' sweepstake on his size. Inside information would have been invaluable, but he wasn't going to tell her anything useful.

Joe fretted about his penis size all evening. He could tell he hadn't been convincing. What a thing to ask your boss! Not that he would ever tell. He'd have been a laughing stock. Still, four and a half inches. If only there was some way he could make it grow.

He opened up his computer. Perhaps there was some treatment. And there it was! In his inbox! The very thing! An email from a Dr Sven.

'Men. Do you feel inadequate? Is your manhood an embarrassment? We at Sven Laboratories have developed the only proven penis enhancement treatment. For further information contact Dr Sven now. All enquiries treated in total confidence.'

Proven treatment! It was just what he was looking for. Sven Laboratories? It sounded Swedish. The Swedes knew about these things. They had enormous ones; he'd seen some of those Swedish movies. He didn't hesitate. 'Dear Dr Sven...," he wrote. He was always formal in emails.

Ping!

'Dr Sven' looked in the inbox and smiled. People were so gullible!

Click.

'Dear Dr Sven,' the email read, 'Could you please send me details of your proven penis enhancement treatment. I would like all correspondence kept strictly confidential.'

The email was saved in the folder marked 'Suckers' and the reply composed.

Ping!

Joe could hardly wait to open the email. This would change his life. No more embarrassment. He would be able to stand in the shower at the gym and show off how big he was. He would be able to boast to Angela! She might even be impressed! She might even...

'Dear Mr J,' the email began, 'thank you for your interest in our exciting new product. I can personally guarantee the effectiveness of this revolutionary treatment. In order to assess you for the most appropriate treatment, which can produce enhancement of up to 50%, you will need to send a payment of £23 to....' And it gave payment instructions.

Joe read with increasing excitement. Only £23, it was an absolute bargain! He read on...

'Unfortunately this type of product attracts certain interest which is not always entirely genuine. For this reason we will require proof of your identity. Can you therefore please email, along with your payment a scanned in copy of a photo ID. Thank you very much for your cooperation."

Joe couldn't wait. Fifty percent enhancement. That would mean he would be six inches or more. Angela would be more than impressed. He dug his credit card and driving licence out of his wallet, scanned them in and sent them off to Dr Sven.

Dr Sven carefully cashed the £23, filed the photo ID and credit card details and sent a reply.

Ping!

Joe opened it up, his heart thumping.

'Dear Mr Johnson, thank you for your initial payment. In order to tailor our product to your exact personal requirements can you please provide me with a close up photograph of your penis so that the exact penis type can be ascertained. This will enable an additional 50% enhancement. Unfortunately some clients have not acted honestly in this respect in the past so we must ask you to hold a card next to your penis showing your full name and address that we can verify against your photo ID. Further instructions will be provided on receipt of your next payment of £47. Yours sincerely, Dr Sven.'

Only £47 for another 50% enhancement. It was almost too good to be true! He quickly wrote out his name and address on a card and took the photo as requested.

Dr Sven looked at the picture and grinned. No wonder he was so keen! The picture was filed under 'Suckers'. It would be needed later. Time for the next turn of the screw.

Ping!

Joe looked at the email. It was even more encouraging.

'Dear Mr J, Thank for the information requested. I am confident that we will be able to produce an enhancement to at least nine inches. Your product is being formulated. For our records, and to demonstrate proof of effectiveness, can you please provide us with a picture of your erect penis with a ruler held next to it so that we have an exact measurement of current size. For quality assurance purposes we need you to be fully identifiable, so the picture should be a full frontal nude showing your face and holding the photo ID already requested. When we receive this and your next payment of £78, we will be in a position to dispatch your individually tailored product.'

It was a steep payment, £78, but Joe didn't hesitate. Nine inches! He imagined himself in Angela's knickers already! No girl could resist that.

He stripped naked, set up the camera, got out the ruler... No need to do anything else. The thought of getting in Angela's knickers had done the trick. He held it against his penis, held his photo ID in the other handand the timer on the camera clicked. A mere £78. It was worth every penny!

Dr Sven nearly punched the air with excitement when the photo arrived. She had bet five inches in the sweepstake but nobody would be likely to go under that so she had as good as won. Angela loved masquerading as Dr Sven. She had thought the name up herself and was particularly proud of it. She tried the little scam everywhere she worked, it was one of the reasons she liked temping, and it was amazing how often those stupid men fell for it. This, however, was the first time she had got such a complete collection of compromising photos and ID's. And the money of course. And that was only the start. Still, there was more fun to be had yet before she started extracting the big sums.

She uploaded the pictures to her blog, her followers would enjoy those, and composed another email.

Ping!

Joe's hand was trembling as he opened up Dr Sven's latest email.

"Dear Mr J, I am pleased to tell you that you have been specially selected for our 'Ultra' product. This is a special product which guarantees not only significant size enhancement, but also significant increase in sensitivity and performance. It is available to you for the additional sum of only £100. We look forward to receiving your instructions.

Joe could hardly believe his luck. Specially selected. Increased sensitivity! Increased performance. He was in Angela's knickers for certain. And wouldn't he enjoy it! He didn't hesitate. One hundred pounds was dispatched.

******************************

Angela took out the large tub of ointment she had bought from the pharmacist. It was labelled 'Fiery Jack' and promised to 'make your skin glow red and hot' wherever it was rubbed on. It was meant to relieve sore muscles, but Angela had felt it would produce a suitable effect masquerading as 'Dr Sven's Patented Penis Enhancing Ointment'. She smiled as she squeezed the contents into an appropriately labelled tin - you could make very convincing labels with the right software. She looked at the tin quizzically, she had better ensure a really dramatic effect. She got a bottle of chilli oil out of her kitchen cupboard and added a few drops, thought for a while, then added a big squirt. With a smile of satisfaction she mixed it in thoroughly, screwed the lid on the tin, parcelled it up and wrote out the address. Then she put in the very special instructions. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

Joe looked at the instructions again. He had to make sure he got it absolutely right.

1. Shave the pubic area. Any remaining hair will adversely affect the potency of the product.

2. Liberally apply Dr Sven's Patented Penis Enhancing Ointment to testicles and penis.

3. For maximum effect allow five minutes for absorption then apply a second time.

4. Rub in vigorously.

He unscrewed the lid of the tin. He would follow the instructions to the letter. He couldn't wait. He absolutely couldn't wait.

Angela looked across at Joe sitting at his desk. She could tell the ointment was working. He was red in the face, sweating profusely and couldn't keep still in his chair. The added chilli oil had been an inspired innovation.

As for poor Joe. Why had he put on that third application! And the fourth! He had been so keen for it to start working quickly. So keen to get in Angela's knickers and now his cock and balls felt on fire. They were so hot he felt they must glow in the dark. He would have to do something? Spray them with cold water. Something!

And Angela was looking at him. She could tell something was wrong.

"Is something the matter?"

She looked concerned.

"Nothing!" Joe tried to look unconcerned. He couldn't let on what he had done.

"What do you mean 'nothing'? You're as red as a beetroot! I'm a trained nurse you know. If there is anything the matter you can tell me."

Trained nurse indeed! She had once worked in reception at the hospital, but she could get away with anything, could Angela.

Joe was totally convinced. Angela was a nurse! She would know what to do. Oh why had he put those extra applications on! He felt as if his balls would explode if he didn't do something.

"I put some treatment on my er... My er...,"

"Your er... What?"

"My er...," he was going to have to tell her or his penis would burst into flames, "...on my willy..., and my er..."

"On you willy and your... Well all your privates do you mean?"

"Well yes..."

"What on earth for? Don't tell me you fell for one of those 'Men, do you want to enhance your penis' scams?"

"Yes... Dr Sven's Patented..." poor Joe had never felt such a fool in all his life. It was a scam. Of course it was. He'd not see that money again and...

"Oh My God! I've heard of that stuff. We'll have to act quickly!"

"Why? What? I mean what will happen if we don't."

"They'll shrivel up!"

"What! What will shrivel up?"

"Your cock! Your balls! They feel all hot don't they?"

"Hot! They're on fire!"

"My God! You didn't put on any extra applications did you?"

"Well yes..."

"Oh no! Quickly. Get your clothes off!"

"What!"

"Get your clothes off. Quickly! All of them. You're so lucky I know what to do."

"But..."

"Quickly. Quickly. Get your clothes off."

Poor Joe? He'd been scammed. He'd been taken for a fool. And now his balls were going to shrivel up. But still... He couldn't strip naked could he?

"Quickly..."

The urgency in Angela's voice was enough to persuade him. She knew how to persuade people did Angela. He started to tear his clothes off.

"Get them off. Get them off!"

He was standing there in nothing but his pants. Even with balls on fire he was reluctant to pull them down.

"Come on... No time to lose..."

Of course. His balls would shrivel up if he didn't. His pants came down and he could barely suppress a gasp of horror as he looked down. Both balls and willy, smooth and clean shaven, were bright red. Glowing like a beacon in the dark.

"Come on...," said Angela, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

"The emergency shower of course. It's the only thing..."

"But... But... I can't go there in the nude. It's the other side of the building. It's outside. It's beside the front door!"

"Do you want to save your balls or not!"

"Yes but..."

"There's no 'yes but' about it. You do as you're told."

"Yes. Yes... Of course..."

It was a scene that lived long in the memory of those who witnessed it. Angela made sure he was pulled naked through the outer office, along the main corridor, through the staff canteen, past reception and out through the front door. Every person they passed stopped working, every pair of eyes opened wide, every jaw dropped, and every gaze was drawn inexorably to a bright red sausage and a pair of glowing plums.

Poor Joe! His face as red as his willy, his cheeks glowing like his dangling orbs, he was paraded blushing and completely nude past every girl in the company; and as passed the gasps turned to titters, the titters turned guffaws and the guffaws grew into howls of laughter.

Finally Angela stuck him under the emergency shower outside the front door, where the whole building could watch, and turned on the water.

As the first jet of freezing water struck his privates the relief was enormous. Joe looked up. The shower was in full view of every window in the building. And every window was jam packed with faces looking at him. Cold. Wet. Cringing. Completely nude.

It was humiliation. Total, complete, and utter. It was Angela's greatest triumph.

And she had the pictures. There was more money to be made out of him yet.

*************************

After his naked humiliation Joe could hardly bear to show his face round the office again. He had made up some story that he had spilt a cup of tea on his lap and in the panic to prevent it scalding Angela had rushed him to the emergency shower. Well cold water was the first aid treatment for scalds so it had seemed plausible enough. In any event people seemed to accept it. He had had to put in an accident report, and everyone had had a good laugh at the safety committee, and people tittered when he walked past, but that seemed to be an end to it.

Until.

Ping.

Joe looked at his email inbox. Another message from bloody Dr Sven. Well he'd tell him what he could do with his bloody ointment.

If Angela knew one thing about a good con trick it was this: when you have a sucker on the end of the line, you keep the sucker on the end of the line and you keep reeling him in. There was still plenty of fun to be had with this sucker.

Joe read the email with increasing alarm.

'Dear Mr J, I suppose you now realise that you have fallen for a scam! Are your private parts still glowing! I do hope so...'

Joe rubbed his plums gently, they hadn't fully recovered yet. He read on.

'... Well, I suppose you think that it is all over now. But of course it isn't. Dr Sven's Patented Ointment had very special properties. Quite the opposite of what is advertised. Very soon your private parts will start to shrink. Unless of course you apply Dr Sven's Patented Corrective Ointment. One jar is only £500. Prompt payment will ensure prompt dispatch and prompt treatment. And if you ask me nicely of course. Really nicely that is. A little begging wouldn't go amiss. And in case you're in any doubt prompt treatment is absolutely essential. Oh... And do send me a picture of your glowing privates. I would so like it for my collection. And don't think of going to the police or anything. I know some very public websites where I could post your pictures... And your name... And your address... With your driving licence of course..."

Joe grew more alarmed with each word. Angela had been right. It caused balls and willy to shrivel. And he had applied twice the dose! Thank God there was an antidote! He sent the £500 off straight away. It was worth every penny.

And he'd better email Dr Sven.

Angela read his email with barely suppressed laughter. He was begging the supposed Dr Sven for the ointment.

'Please Dr Sven, please send me the corrective ointment. I've sent the money. I don't want my privates to shrink. I've photographed them. Please keep the picture for your collection...' And so it went on grovelling and begging. She saved the photograph and uploaded it to her blog. Her followers were loving this.

Now to write a suitable reply.

Ping.

Joe opened the response from Dr Sven nervously.

'Dear Mr J, thank you so much for the payment and the photograph. I see the treatment had quite the desired effect. The shrinkage will commence shortly unless you apply the corrective ointment exactly according to the instructions that accompany the treatment. I suggest you measure your penis regularly to ensure that you are correctly following the rules of application'

Joe awaited the arrival of the tin of ointment anxiously. He tore it out of its packet and read the instructions.

1. Ensure that private parts are kept clean shaven.

2. Apply the ointment daily using the Swedish Application Method. (Any competent nurse should be able to do this for you).

3. Massage in thoroughly.'

Swedish Application Method! What on earth was that? Where would he find a nurse to apply it? He couldn't go to the hospital or the local surgery. It would be just too embarrassing. Then he remembered. Angela! Angela had said she was a nurse. She would tell him what to do.

Blushing with embarrassment he took the ointment and the email in to work and showed them to Angela. She smiled to herself. What a sucker! He'd believe anything you told him!

She put on her alarmed face.

"Quickly," she said, "we have to act quickly. Get your clothes off."

"What..."

"You heard. Get your clothes off. Swedish Application Method it says. You have to be in the nude for that. Get your clothes off."

And the sucker believed every word she said. Just as she knew he would.

Joe stood in front of her stark naked, his smooth shaved sausage and plums still bright red from the effect of the treatment. She put some of the cheap cold cream she was passing off as patented corrective ointment onto her fingers. She was going to enjoy this.

There was nothing quite like, thought Angela, massaging ointment into a nice soft squeezy pair of plums, then rubbing your fingers up and down his sausage, taking hold of his plums and...

"Ooooh!"

Joe let out an involuntary gasp. Angela had squeezed his dangling orbs and yanked them suddenly down.

"What was that for?"

"Swedish Application Method. It's an integral part of it."

"Of course. Yes. Do you have to do it again?"

"Once more..."

"Ooooh!"

Joe felt his balls yanked unceremoniously again.

"And and once again"

"Oooooooooh!"

This time it seemed to be harder than ever.

"That's it," said Angela, "for today."

"Do you er..."

"Do I er... What?"

"Have to... You know... Every time?"

"You mean squeeze your balls?"

"Well, yes..."

"Of course. It releases testosterone. Essential for the efficacy of the procedure."

"Well, yes, you must do it in that case....

What a sucker, thought Angela, he'd believe anything.

"The harder the better....," May as well try it on again.

And indeed Joe fell for it again, "You'd better squeeze really hard then."

"Perhaps once more today, just for one hundred percent efficacy."

Thoughts of his shrinking penis blotted out all other considerations. He had to have one hundred percent efficacy.

"Go ahead then," he said.

"Well, ask me nicely then...

"Of course. Please..."

"Please what..."

"Please squeeze my balls... Er... Really hard."

"Of course..."

Angela's hand grasped the soft round orbs again. She really liked the feel of them. She really liked to give them a really tight squeeze. They were so soft and vulnerable.

"There you go then."

"Oooooh!"