DragonStorm Ch. 09

From this day forth you dwell within

My heart, my mind, my life

Without your love I shall not live

I take you as my wife

(Cygnan wedding vow)

9th Pass -- Year 27 - October

(Ista Weyr, October 23rd)

It seemed an odd group to call to a conference; two masterhealers, a Weyrleader, a Weyrwoman, a wingleader and a queenrider. Even this group was about to discover that they had a most unusual guest attendee.

"Before we start," announced Masterhealer Oldive, "I want everyone to understand that we have another member of this conference. He can't be in this room, so I'll ask him to introduce himself. Elysina, you did bring him, did you not?"

The queenrider nodded, advising the assembly, "He's outside. He rode with me and Valkryth." The dark-haired woman seemed strangely subdued, as though she already knew the subject of these proceeding would not be pleasant.

The planet's leading physician smiled, nodding toward the woman. "Thank you. I believe we're going to need him. Astaroth, would you please introduce yourself?"

Heads came up around the table, regarding the Masterhealer with surprised and confused expressions. Two of the attendees, however, wore quiet, gently amused smiles. Elysina and T'gellan snickered, looking down into their hands.

A powerful thought surged into their minds. The Cygnan dragon allowed his projections to register with everyone in the group.

'Good afternoon, Master Oldive, Master Nerodian. My duty to you, Weyrleader, Weyrwoman. T'gellan, Elysina, I'm happy to see you again.'

Several of the persons were momentarily surprised, although Elysina and T'gellan knew this would be the course of events. Cosira wore a slightly chagrined, amused smile. G'dened already knew the beast could communicate with them.

Masterhealer Nerodian chuckled, at first surprised and then amused. 'Good afternoon, Astaroth. I'm pleased to finally meet you.'

'Thank you, sir. The pleasure is mutual.'

"It was Astaroth who requested this conference," Oldive informed them. "With Elysina's help, he and I have been consulting for the past week. I will give you what information I can, but most of this discussion will be directed by the dragon.

"Darian is seriously ill. As described to me, he has developed an atrial fibrillation, and his stress level has become dangerous. This began shortly after Selana impressed Scylenth and peaked after the mating flight. You all know what happened there."

The Istan Weyrleader spoke up. "We knew he was struggling after the flight, but he didn't seem to be out of control. If anything, within a few days, he seemed calmer than usual."

"That's not surprising," Nerodian replied. "Persons dealing with serious forms of depression often seem calmer than usual, more in control of themselves. The reality is that they aren't getting calm, they're getting numb. It usually takes a bit longer than this, but it isn't abnormal. This is when the dangerous stages set in."

"How dangerous?" G'dened asked. He had a Weyr to worry about, and he already knew how potentially dangerous the avion was. He'd seen him in action.

"I know he can't forget about Selana," Cosira interjected, "but he seems very much in love with Elysina. Hasn't he accepted her as his new weyrmate?"

The Craftmaster frowned, reaching for the cup of klah in front of him. This was an extremely worrisome situation, one that he and several other masterhealers had discussed before. He didn't care to see it becoming a reality.

"We don't know how dangerous he may become. We just don't know enough about avions. Astaroth?"

'At the moment, he isn't dangerous. If he goes over the edge, it becomes problematic. I believe he'll become suicidal, but anyone who comes near him at that point may be in danger. He's unpredictable, so I just don't know.'

"Has he always been like this?" Nerodian inquired.

'He's always been unpredictable. He only became unstable after he met Selana.'

"After he MET her?" the psychologist persisted.

'Yes. After he made the decision to make her his mate, he became fiercely protective of her. That's an avion trait. At that point, he started to deal with the conflict of the avion mind wanting to kill any potential rival and the human mind simply wanting to keep her entirely to himself. It got progressively worse when they transferred to Ista and became critical after the mating flight.'

"To answer your question, Cosira, yes. From all indications, he is happily involved with Elysina. But we have almost no knowledge of avion psychology. We have no way of knowing what is happening in his mind. Elysina," he inquired, turning toward the tiny woman, "how has he been acting? Is he happy as your weyrmate?"

"No," she revealed quietly, her voice little more than a whisper, with no lack of pain evident in it. "I love him, and he loves me. We're fine most of the time. But, if he's alone for a few minutes, especially at night, he'll start crying. Even when we're in bed together, if he thinks I'm asleep, he starts to cry. I don't know how to help him."

Her voice had become even softer, her eyes haunted. The others in the room regarded her with concerned, sympathetic eyes."

"He hasn't really seemed normal since the mating flight," Cosira appended. "It seems like there's an edge to him, or maybe he's on an edge. He does well if we're fighting thread or if he's in the infirmary but, as soon as he sees Selana, he withdraws. He closes himself off from everyone."

Oldive and Nerodian exchanged glances, nodding to each other. The Lemos master shrugged. "It's classic, Master. It's what we've been expecting."

"Astaroth," Oldive requested, "what can you tell us? What's happening in his mind?"

'The human part of him is deeply in love with Elysina. She has done a good job of holding him together. But the avion part can't deal with losing Selana. Avions mate for life. They never separate unless one of them dies. Darian sees the loss of Selana as a failure on his part. He sees himself as inferior, that he wasn't worthy of her. The conflict between the two is driving his mental stress to extreme levels.'

Nerodian nodded, mulling the information. "How do avions deal with the loss of a mate?"

'They become psychologically unstable. Some become homicidal, but most become suicidal. It's rare for an avion to lose a mate and live more than a few months.'

"Selana has told him that she's still his wife," G'dened revealed. "She still wants him to be her husband. He hasn't lost her."

'Telling him isn't enough. Constantly seeing her with V'line tells him that she is his mate, that he has lost her. When he first met V'line at Eastern, he considered him a rival. After he and Selana married, they became friends. Now, he doesn't know how to think or feel. Living like that is torturing him. It's destroying him emotionally.'

"Will counseling help him?" Nerodian asked.

'Possibly, but it won't be enough by itself. Something will have to change his psychological dynamic to keep him alive. I don't think I can maintain him more than a few months. His heart won't take it.'

"Could we send him back to Eastern for a while? Would that help?"

"No," T'gellan replied instantly. "That would make it worse. Eastern is where he met Selana, where they were married. It would also bring the memories of N'rad back to his mind. It would make things worse, not better."

'That's correct, T'gellan. If he's going to improve, he needs to be away from dragons for a time, with one possible exception. Having Valkryth around might help. He equates her to Elysina, and right now Elysina is his only tie to sanity.'

As the discussion continued, Cosira had moved around the table, to where she could hold the now weeping queenrider in her arms. She cradled Elysina against her, gently stroking the ebony hair. "It'll be alright, El," she whispered. "We'll find a way to help him. You won't lose him."

'We need to help him, and soon. If Darian dies, Lord G'dened, you may lose a queen as a result.'

The Weyrleader considered that for a moment. The possible loss of a queen was sobering in the extreme, but he didn't see it as likely. He certainly didn't want to lose his masterhealer, but the death of a queen as a result of that eventuality was not a concern.

"I don't think so, Astaroth. V'line can hold Selana together. She'll survive, and we won't lose Scylenth."

'Wrong queen,' the dragon retorted immediately.

All eyes at the table turned to where the two women were seated. They couldn't hear the quiet conversation in progress.

"I can't lose him," Elysina cried softly, her voice a thin whisper. "I can't live without him. Not again. Please, not again."

"You won't lose him, El," Cosira assured her. "I know how much you love him. I'm not going to let him leave you. We will find a way to help him."

'I will help him, too,' a gentle voice intruded. 'Astaroth and I can help. We won't let him leave you.'

"We need to move him to Lemos," masterhealer Nerodian announced. "We've got to get him out of the Weyr and away from dragons."

"Will that be enough?" Oldive asked. "Can we bring him back with just counseling?"

"From what Astaroth says, no. He'll need Elysina's support. Beyond that, however, someone has got to make Selana understand what is happening. Without her help, counseling won't matter. It will buy us some time, but it won't be much."

"We need her in the Weyr, Master Nerodian," G'dened responded. "She flies left pivot in the queens' wing. We can't afford to let her leave."

"She won't need to leave," Cosira interrupted. "We're sending Elysina and Valkryth with him."

"Elysina can help, Lady Cosira," the Lemosian replied, "but we will need Selana at some point."

"That's okay," the junior queenrider answered, taking control of her voice and joining the conversation. "When Sel visits Lemos, I'll go back to Ista."

"El," the Istan Weyrwoman reminded her companion, "you're pregnant. You can't keep flying between."

"I'll have to take that chance," the tiny woman answered. "I'd rather lose the baby than lose Darian."

"That still leaves you with no slot riders, Sira," G'dened reminded his Weyrwoman, obvious concern in his eyes and voice. "Your wing will be uncovered."

'No, it won't. I can fly the slot with them.'

"Astaroth?" Cosira queried, a gentle smile crossing her lips. "I didn't think you liked formation flying."

'I don't, My Lady, but this is different. It doesn't matter what I like. It's necessary. Darian wouldn't let you fly uncovered, neither will I.'

The Istan Weyrwoman turned to her Weyrleader, a smile on her face but the question obvious in her eyes.

The bronzerider canted his head, an unexpected smile finding its way to his lips. "That's good enough for me. Thank you, Astaroth." He then turned his attention to the Craft Master.

"Um, Master Oldive, that's going to remove my masterhealer, my journeyman and my apprentice. I don't think Rubia is ready to be a Weyrhealer by herself."

"No," Oldive agreed, "she isn't. I'll send Masterhealer Jenira to Ista temporarily. I believe she and Rubia will be sufficient, as you should always have either Selana or Elysina in the Weyr."

G'dened nodded, indicating his acceptance of the solution.

"Very well," Oldive continued. "Master Nerodian, please let me know when you are ready to receive Darian at Lemos. I'll advise Lord G'dened. Astaroth, would you please continue to advise me as the situation develops? We'll need to know if there are any significant changes. And someone is going to need to tell Selana what's happening. We're going to need her cooperation."

"You can move him later today," Nerodian replied. "We're already set up for him."

"I'll take care of Selana, Master," Cosira smiled gently. "Me and three queens."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

9th Pass -- Year 27 - October

(Ista Weyr, October 26th)

Cosira waited until the Fall was over. She had gone to the infirmary, both to check on the handful of injured riders and to see what kind of staff she had there. She was satisfied to see a masterhealer, a journeyman and an aspiring apprentice at work.

When all the injuries had been attended to, the post-fall chores finished and the early afternoon meal completed, she took leave of her weyrmate and slowly walked to the junior queen's weyr.

Entering from the inner side of the weyr, she found Selana and V'line seated at the table, enjoying a cup of klah and playing a game of cards. They came to their feet, but she waved them down, taking a seat on the side near the queenrider.

"Good job out there, Sel. You're getting better every Fall. And your wing looked good V'line. You're really working them into shape."

They thanked her, the queenrider especially pleased with the praise. She was then invited to join their game. She declined, but gratefully accepted the offered cup of klah.

"I came to talk with you, Selana," she announced, her smile sliding to a more neutral expression. The bronzerider caught the change of demeanor, shifting uncomfortably on his seat.

"Uh, should I leave, ma'am?" he asked nervously.

"No," he was advised, "stay here. This involves you, too."

The tone of the Weyrwoman's voice and the look on her face told the weyrmates that this was not likely to be a pleasant conversation. The junior queenrider looked markedly nervous.

"You're still married, aren't you?" the discussion began.

"Of course," Selana smiled. "I'm still Darian's wife."

"Yes. I understand you told him that. About two months ago or so, isn't it?"

The brunette shrugged. "Yes, I think so. Why?"

"When's the last time you spoke to him?"

Selana shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I don't know. A few days ago, I think."

Cosira nodded, accepting the answer at face value. Her jaw was tightening as she asked the next question. "Did you happen to notice who was flying the high slot today?"

"No," she admitted. "Never had to look. Nothing got behind us."

"Nothing you saw got behind us."

"Shells," V'line exclaimed. "That wasn't Valkryth! It was Astaroth!"

Selana turned to her weyrmate. "Astaroth? What was he doing in the slot? Where were Valkryth and Darian?"

Cosira place her forehead in her hand, the elbow on the table. Her expression changed to one of barely suppressed anger. "They're at Lemos. Have been for a couple of days."

"What are they..." V'line started to ask. He stopped abruptly when Cosira glared at him.

"Lemos? What are they doing there?"

"Why don't you deal another hand, Selana?" Cosira replied sarcastically. Her anger was starting to show through. "Pour yourself another cup of klah."

The junior queenrider didn't move, frightened by the implied threat in her Weyrwoman's voice. Both she and the bronzerider waited silently, now thoroughly intimidated by the senior woman's demeanor.

Cosira's voice became soft, mild, totally at odds with the withering glare she now turned on her hostess. She fought to tone down her anger. She would not allow this to turn into a shouting match or a lecture. It was bad enough as was.

"Your husband is dying and you're playing cards. What in the shell is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with Darian?" Selena cried, suddenly alarmed.

"You're what's wrong with Darian. He's been going downhill since the mating flight, and you haven't even noticed. He's developed a serious heart condition. You didn't even know he was gone. Is that what it means to be a wife?"

"But he has Elysina. He told me to take V'line as my weyrmate. I love V'line but I only did this because it was what Darian wanted." Selana was wide-eyed, frightened, her voice a terrified whimper.

"He told you to become weyrmates because he thought it was best for you. He didn't take himself into account. He just wanted to make you happy."

"I didn't know that," the younger woman protested.

"Selana, you know he's an avion. You knew that when you married him. Avions mate for life. Despite what you told him, he thinks he's lost you to V'line. He considers it a personal failure. Avions who lose their mates don't live long. Astaroth thinks he has less than two months to live."

"What can we do?" asked V'line, now very concerned. He and Darian were friends, and he didn't want to be part of his friend's death. "I love you, Sel," he stated, "but I don't want to be the reason Darian dies. If I need to give you back to him, I will." There was a touch of fear in his eyes, an undercurrent of pain, but his resolve was firm. He would give up his weyrmate if the avion's life depended on it.

Cosira looked at the bronzerider, her expression softening. His selfless offer caused her to smile. "You're a gem, V'line. No wonder she loves you. Still, that may not be necessary. It may not even be possible."

"Not possible?" the bronzerider queried. "Why not?"

"We need to consider the dragons involved. Scylenth and Clarinath are inseparable. I'm sorry Sel, but in your pairing, Scylenth is dominant. You will either have to assert yourself or continue to just do things her way. Beyond that, Valkryth and Astaroth have really attached themselves. Darian does love Elysina, and she can't bear to be separated from him. We don't need to change these pairings. What we do need is for Selana to do more than tell Darian she's still his wife. She needs to show him."

The Weyrwoman stopped, catching her breath and finally taking a drink from the mug sitting before her. "Spend some time with him, Sel. You don't need to be his weyrmate, but let him know that he's still special to you. He needs to know you love him, not just hear you say it. Pay some attention to him. You may save his life."

V'line looked at the distraught rider. "Sel, relax, love. Maybe we just need to go to Lemos for a bit."

Cosira nodded. "I think that's a very good idea. You go with her. Elysina may need some support. We don't fly Thread for another three days, so you have some time."

"T'marek's a good wingsecond. If the need arises, he can lead the wing."

"Yes, he is," the senior queenrider agreed. "I don't think we'll need him but, if we do, G'dened won't hesitate to fly with him as a wingleader. Now, the two of you need to get to Lemos. Move."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

9th Pass -- Year 27 - October

(Lemos Hold, October 26th)

Darian was lying quietly in a comfortable bed, in a pleasant room on the upper floor of the small hold dispensary. Elysina sat beside him in a cozy chair, sharing jokes as she worked on a new tunic. She watched contentedly as her mate blinked repeatedly, the mild sedative apparently having taken effect.

"Do you want to go to sleep, love?"

"No," he smiled, turning to look at her. "I just want to listen to you, to smell you, just to know you're here."

The queenrider smiled, happy in the moment, pleased by the gentle words. The early counseling sessions were apparently helping. Even Astaroth seemed satisfied, which was a major consolation for the avion's weyrmate. Masterhealer Oldive indicated that Darian's heart had quieted, and the big dragon confirmed the finding. Darian was still at risk, but they were gaining time.

Both turned to the door at the quiet knock. Elysina's jaw dropped, and Darian froze as the portal opened. Two visitors stepped through.

"Selana!" the tiny rider squealed, leaping to her feet and racing to embrace her sister queenrider. As the taller woman returned the affectionate embrace, her escort stepped past them to the bed.

"Darian," the bronzerider smiled, extending his arm. "How're you feeling?"

The avion smiled in return, reaching up to grasp the extended hand. He snickered, trying but failing to sit upright. "Better," he finally replied, "but a bit groggy. Not sure what they're treating me with, but it doesn't feel like fellis."

V'line nodded, noting the slightly odd look on his friend's face. He may have been mildly drugged, but it wasn't much. The eyes were still responsive, and the smile seemed genuine. "They trying to make you sleep?" he asked.