Driven to a New Beginning

I am playing with the idea of adding a chapter 2 to this story, to lay out where their lives go from here, but I haven't convinced myself that it's needed. That is the reason I didn't put in an epilogue, or go too deeply into Linda's reasons for cheating and all the other word blither that I have a tendency to write. So, for now, lets just leave it at this and I hope you find it interesting or satisfying, or at the least, not a waste of your time. If not, go ahead and lay waste to me in the comments, with at least an attempt to give me something helpful and constructive as I try and improve my writing and storytelling skills.

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A betrayed husband ends his 23-year marriage

I was awakened early by the morning light and the singing of Mountain Bluebirds. I could hear the scamper of what was likely chipmunks, running around the campsite trying to clean up any left-over crumbs from my previous nights freeze-dried backpacking meal. The piece and joy I felt being out backpacking after so many years quickly dissolved as the reality of what my day would bring came over me.

The air was crisp and cool up here at 6,000 feet and as I exited the tent I was engrossed by the beauty of the alpine lake, ringed by snow-topped mountains at my camping site. I wanted to stay longer, wished I could throw out my fishing line with a spinner or a fly attached, but I knew that today was the day I had dreaded for the last month; the confrontation that I needed to face quickly and with finality so I could begin again.

I made some semblance of an egg/sausage breakfast over the propane stove along with some thick black coffee. As I sat and finished my fuel for the six-mile hike out, I marveled at how beautiful and peaceful this moment in time was. I reminded myself that yes, there can be beauty and enjoyment of life on the other side if you just keep moving forward with the right attitude. I knew I would certainly be getting back into camping, hiking, fishing, and sailing; just some of the hobbies I had let slide over my 23-year marriage to the love of my life. Well, make that the person I once thought with all my heart was the love of my life. Now I hoped there would at some point be another.

The hike down was pleasant and uneventful, and I came across no one on the trail or parked at the trailhead as I packed up my car with my gear and started to drive out to the main highway. I turned my phone back on, after being off-grid for the last three days and knew that when I got into range of a cell tower the texts, voicemails, and e-mails would begin.

As I pulled out onto the two-lane paved county road, I got the first beep of a text, and looking down saw it was from my 21-year-old son Ryan. Ryan and I were not only father/son, but we were now actually the best of friends and confidents, having passed through the trials and tribulations of his wild teenage years and come out the other end respecting and loving each other greatly.

Ryan's text was short and to the point, "Dad, I love you and support you. Good luck today and stay positive. Somewhere, sometime there will be a light at the end of this tunnel!" His pledge of support brought a tear to my eye and helped me justify what I had to do.

The next text message that I opened was from my daughter Krista, and it too was a promise of backing and love. "Dad, I wish I could be with you and hug you and tell you it will all be okay. You have been the best father we could have ever imagined, and always put us first. Now you need to put yourself first, whatever that may be, and know that Ryan and I love you and will always be there for you!"

Krista had always been a Daddy's girl, and although she was the spitting image of my beautiful wife Linda in her younger days, Krista had my quest for adventure, love of the outdoors, and a crazy sense of humor, none of which Linda had as attributes. At least I had been blessed in my 23 years with children that I loved, respected, and would be the best legacy I would ever leave behind at the end of what I hoped would once again be a happy and fulfilling life.

I pulled into a rest stop to give my texts, e-mails, voicemails, and missed calls a thorough review. There were ten missed calls from my wife over the last three days, the first seven or so likely from her three-day banking seminar and supposed business trip, to Vegas, and the last three appeared to be from her return yesterday evening and then again, this morning. I could imagine how pissed she was when I wasn't at the airport to pick her up and when I didn't return any of her calls or texts. I didn't bother with the voicemails; I deleted them all and moved on to the balance of my incoming messages.

Sure enough, Linda had texted me about twenty times over the course of the last three days, and again, I had not returned a single one. I skimmed through them, with the first few being her pronouncement of her never-ending love for me (what a crock of shit, I thought, probably done out of guilt) and the last several being venomous; dripping with indignation at me for not responding to her, not picking up her calls, and leaving her waiting at the airport for over an hour before she finally figured I wasn't coming. The last text from her was simply a "WTF JACK", all in capital letters.

How our relationship had changed in the last month, although from her standpoint I don't think she even realized how the spark of love in me that had burned eternally for her was ever so slowly being extinguished. I really couldn't understand this, had she grown that far apart from me over her last treacherous four months? Had she really lost all conscious thought about me, my feelings, and the pain in my eyes that I was amazed she couldn't see? Had she that easily forgotten about her kids, our family, and the loving life we had shared for so long? That was perhaps more depressing than her affair.

Linda was still beautiful at the age of 44, and had incredible curves, shapely legs, pert and firm breasts, and knew how to work her body for whatever the occasion was, be it flirting at a social event, or playing the role of the rising star banking professional in the trust department of U.S. Commerce bank.

I had always been proud to be seen with her and I enjoyed the way men would stare at her as we walked by, barely able to contain their lust and take their eyes off of her. Knowing that she was mine and her and I were entwined forever gave me a huge rush of self-esteem and ego, as we passed the onlookers lustful gawks. I told her how beautiful and desirable she was, but she would always counter that she was getting old and she just didn't feel as young, vibrant and sexy as she once was. I could tell this bothered her, and I would try to assure her that her light was getting brighter, not dimmer, but she would just disregard my compliments by saying, "you just have to say that cause you are my husband and you love me." Perhaps the why for all of her lies and deceit was buried in those feelings of fleeting and lost youth, but I was pretty sure I would never know. Maybe she wouldn't either.

Whatever the reason, her younger boss, John Monroe, had somehow become the new light of her life, at least in a sexual way, if not in a boring but dependable best friend way, which I was now evidently relegated to. Although to me, we had even passed beyond being friends, but again Linda never noticed it.

John Monroe, was wealthy, as the Vice-President of the trust division, and he was lean, tall, and so self-confident that I found him obnoxious the few times I met him; but Linda thought he was the epitome of a great leader. At least that was what she used to say when we used to discuss her work life and him; but that abruptly stopped four months ago also. Looking back, I now assumed that was the start of her affair. The beginning of the end of 23 years together.

I shrugged off my depressive thoughts, looked back at my phone and with an angry snarl I deleted all of her texts, and then went on to my e-mails. My lawyer's email told me that everything was ready to go, per my discussions with him. I also noticed that I had a snapchat and I opened it up to read, "The person you were interested in had a severe accident while being mugged; one crushed testicle and a shattered knee." When I closed the chat, it immediately erased itself.

The next e-mail I reviewed was confirmation that my resignation from work was accepted, and my 401K and stock options had been liquidated and the proceeds moved to my new checking account. I was flush, at least for a few years, although the tax bite would hurt. But, I really didn't give a shit; I needed to be gone.

I was getting ready to pull out into traffic when the phone rang and I saw it was Linda. I decided that there was no time like the present, and equated it to pulling off a band aid. It had to be done quickly and with conviction. I pulled over to a corner of the rest stop, turned off the car and answered the phone in as non-emotional way as I could muster.

"Hey Linda, what's up?"

"What's up? What the fuck do you mean what's up? First of all, where are you? You weren't at the airport to pick me up and you weren't home all night! You didn't even leave a note and you haven't answered any of my calls or texts since last week. What the hell Jack? You tell me what's up."

"Gee Linda, I didn't think you would really care either way if I answered or not. Or if you saw me or not. I figured you would be relieved that I wasn't home. That way you could clean yourself up and get back into character before you saw me, the kids, our friends or your parents. Isn't that how you make your double life work?"

"What? Why would you say that Jack, I don't even understand that? What double life? You know I have to travel for work. And by the way, why aren't the kids answering any of my calls or texts? And where is our king mattress from the master bedroom? I had to sleep in the guest bedroom last night. Jack what the hell is going on and where the hell are you and why did you leave me stranded at the airport. I feel like I am in the twilight zone and nothing is making sense!"

"Linda, you are in a type of twilight zone that you chose to put yourself and our whole family into."

Linda's anger and aggressive verbal onslaught was trailing off as her confidence must have started to sink and her worse fears started to surface. "What? What the hell does that mean Jack?" Where are you and what's going on?"

"It doesn't matter where I am or where I'm going but I'm out of town Linda, and I've been too busy the last week to answer your texts and calls. I've been pretty busy trying to figure out how to move on from a major betrayal in my current life and move into my new life."

Linda hesitated and her voice faltered at hearing the word betrayal, but she continued playing dumb and shouted, "What? Jack, are you drunk? What are you talking about?"

"First of all, Linda, tell me, how was your three-day banking conference. Did that asshole John get to fuck you every night and morning or just the three nights?" I could hear her gasp and pause as I said that and it took her several seconds to reply.

"What the hell are you talking about? John who and why would you say that? I'm married to you."

"Yes Linda, you are married to me, and I'm amazed that you still even consider this a marriage. So, are you at least going to give me the courtesy after 23 years of marriage to tell me the fucking truth? I know you have had no respect or concern for me or your family for the last several months, but now that the lies and deceit are out in the open, how about being honest about it?"

Linda replied in a shaky and soft voice, "Jack, I don't know what you are imagining but you are wrong. I only love you. There is nothing going on with John Monroe and me."

"Oh, well at least you now admitted to knowing which John we are talking about. For a moment there I thought there was more than one John. Linda, tell me truthfully, did you think you would never get caught or did you just not care? Were you working up to tell me that you wanted a divorce and loved someone else? It would have been so much easier for everybody if you had just had the courage to let us know before lying and cheating behind our backs!"

"Jack", Linda shouted and I could hear the catch in her voice as she started crying, "Don't even mention the word divorce. Please believe me, I only love you. Please come home so we can talk about this. Nothing is going on. How could you think otherwise?"

Apparently, Linda was convinced that I had no proof and was bluffing so she was going to keep up this charade. "So, I guess that means you never fucked Monroe in our bedroom on our now missing King sized mattress?"

"No, of course not! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Linda, hold the line for just one minute, will you?" With that, I pulled up the photo of John Monroe fucking Linda from behind as she was on all fours. She looked like she was in ecstasy and judging from the intense look on his face, he was apparently putting everything he had into pounding her pussy. This was one of many photos and videos I had from the button camera hidden in plain sight inside the dresser clock that I had bought a month ago when I was alerted to her affair. I texted the photo to Linda, and hopped back onto the call.

"Linda, pull up the photo I just sent you. Are you telling me that isn't my loving wife getting fucked doggy style in my master bedroom, on my king-sized mattress, with no condom, by her fucking boss?" I could hear her drop the phone and cry out in agony.

"Oh God no, Jack. Please, it was a mistake, it only happened once. It didn't mean anything. It was just a fling, just the excitement of someone younger who wanted me so badly and made me feel sexy and young again. It was a one-off and I truly never meant for it to hurt you! Oh God, I'm so sorry. But Jack if..."

I cut her off by yelling into the phone, "Linda, look out the back window at the middle of the backyard. Do you see that pile of charred wood, metal and ash? That's our fucking King size mattress. That is symbolic of how you torched our marriage; how you betrayed our family, how you humiliated me. When did you start hating me enough to hurt me like that? When did you decide that you no longer cared about my love or our families love? When did you decide I was no longer worthy of your respect or honesty? When and why did you decide to throw us out like the morning trash?"

"Jack, please, please, forgive me. I love you; I don't hate you. I could never hate you; I want to spend my life with you. It was an accident; a bad mistake, and it was just the one time. It was me being selfish, it was never anything lacking in you. Please Jack, come home and talk to me."

"Linda, the kids and I have had enough of the lies and deceit. Can you just finally be honest with me?"

"Is this why the kids won't answer my calls? Jack, did you tell them and turn them against me?"

"How dare you Linda, I didn't do shit to turn the kids away from you. You did that all on your own, well that is you and your fuck buddy. This is all you. Your selfish, self-centered attitude and your need for someone else's cock, is what has put you in the twilight zone and what has taken our whole family and destroyed it, and pushed us all away from you. And no, it wasn't me that told the kids, it was the kids that told me! How pathetic is that. I would have never thought you could lie and cheat on me and throw us away so easily. At least now stop your lying. It wasn't one fucking time. It's been going on for at least four months, judging by how you have cut us all out of your life emotionally. And the sad part is you didn't even realize it. You quit talking with us, quit looking at me, quit making love to me except for the rare mercy fuck. You disgust me!"

"Jack, it didn't mean anything. It was just sex, just the one time, and just a short lapse in judgement out of a 23-year marriage. It's you I want, not John. Please believe me."

"Linda, hang on." I pulled up the next picture from my phone, the one where Ryan had come home unannounced to pick up some tools, and heard his mother and Monroe going at it. He had quietly snuck up to the open door of the master bedroom and reached his phone around the door jam and took several pictures and some video. He was so distraught; he didn't tell me for two weeks until Krista and he finally decided I had the right to know so they called me together and told me and we all cried and were physically sick at watching the treachery of their mother, my wife, with her boss. That was what prompted me to buy the spy camera. I texted that photo to Linda too.

"Linda, open your phone again. This is the first time any of us knew about you and your fucking boss, although the way you severed all emotional ties to me three months prior to this picture, I am pretty sure you have been lovers for a long time.

"Linda, you were first found out by Ryan and he snapped this picture of Monroe's cock in your mouth and you drooling and looking like you just entered the pearly gates. How the fuck do you think your son feels about you after seeing that betrayal by his mother? Do you think that might have pushed him away and that you might have lost his respect, and that of Krista's, when they looked at these photos and tried to decide whether or not to tell me about your cheating, slutty behavior? Do you think you have an ounce of credibility or respect from them now? Do you know how painful it was for them to tell me that you were a cheating slut and how hard it was to hear them cry their eyes out as they watched you shred our marriage and destroy our family? Just stop with the lies about how it only happened once, and how it hasn't been going on for months, and how you didn't fuck him six or seven times on this last business trip. I'm hanging up at your next lie."

"No Jack, please let me explain." I could hear Linda bawling her lungs out, and I imagined her crumpled on the floor as she was finally understanding what her lies and betrayal had done to hurt her family and herself.

"Oh, God Jack, I'm, I'm So, So, sorry. Please, you have to forgive me. I went insane but it is over now. It was just cheap and slutty sex and it felt so exciting to be wanted and to be sneaking around in an illicit affair. I felt young and desirable again. But there was no love, and I didn't ever want to hurt you, but I don't know how I couldn't see that I was. I didn't even realize how I had pulled away from you and the kids and I'm ashamed to say that it's just now that I am waking up and I see myself as some other person in a horror movie or nightmare and I hate myself for it because I love you and them and our life together. Oh, dear Jack, please, please come home so I can make this right. I need to make us a family again!"

"Linda, there is no us. We are done. You can't possibly believe you really loved me after the hurt and mental damage you have done to me. You've shown that you don't respect me, don't care about anyone other than yourself, and between your lies and deceit I can never trust you again. Everything we had before is now tainted and suspect.

"Did you fuck him for the last several years or the last four months? How many other men have there been Linda? Do I need to do DNA testing on my kids? Don't bother to answer because I won't believe whatever you say. For sure I need to do STD testing. There is nothing left for you and me. You've hurt me like no one else ever has and ever will and I could have never imagined the person I loved and bet my life on would throw me away like a piece of trash. But you have. Maybe the kids will find their way back to you eventually but I for God Damn sure never will."

"Jack please don't say it. I'll do anything. I'll go to counseling. You can go fuck other women. Please don't leave me. I have been living with the guilt and wanted to stop and would have; I would have always come back to you. This was just a meaningless fling. Oh God, please forgive me, I'm so sorry."