Each & Every Corner Ch. 02: Reframe

*****

Lizzie had decided she'd brooded around long enough for now and that it was time to have a shot at pulling herself out of her recent lethargy. The only way she really knew to test the social water was by going on a big evening out (big-ish that is, nothing completely crazy, you had to work your way up to these things). So she'd sent out feelers to a few friends from that side of her life, albeit maybe focusing a smidgeon on people who didn't know her ex so well. Eventually she'd got back the response she was looking for and she'd added herself in on the excursion some of them had planned the following weekend.

She'd do most of her dressing up at home during the afternoon then head off to finish up with the girls at Jasmine and Nisha's house. There would be a team of around five of them there, fine tuning each other's outfits, glitz, and makeup while they built the hype and tanked up on sparkling wine and energetic music. Eventually they'd be joined by the boys (a couple of boyfriends and some additional hangers on) and they'd summon the Ubers and head into town. If they'd timed themselves right then the club would have been open long enough for the queue to die down but not long enough for it to have filled up.

Once they were in it would be the trip to the cloakroom to drop off the coats and bags, first tucking the absolute necessities for the evening somewhere snug where they wouldn't slip out. Then it would be time to hit the dancefloor.

*****

On the day itself everything went according to plan up to that point. Leaving the logistics of the cloakroom behind them their little group had zig-zagged its way hand in hand through the crowd to find a spot where they could wedge themselves in and camp out for the night. This turned out to be a little backwater, in the shadow of a pillar, with not too much through traffic but enough space for elbows and the occasional twirl.

There was some jockeying for position and words were shouted across ears to break through the wall of sound. Dan had seen a group of people he recognised near the bar, now he knew where everyone was going to be dancing he was off to go and say hi, he'd see them later. For simpler communications hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions were faster, and surprisingly eloquent.

Do you want a drink, Nisha's going?

Guy over there checking you out, guess he's hot for a slow night.

Seriously Anna, you think I give a fuck about a guy? Excuse me, excuse me? Do I even know you?

Laughter...

LIzzie had been felt up a couple of times on her way out into the throng. An open hand gliding across her bum, fingers walking up her back sending corresponding shivers fluttering down her spine. Could have been girls but the odds said it was more likely boys realistically. Still she could dream couldn't she. There was no aggression to the contact in any case and she didn't hold it against them whoever they had been. Displays of casual appreciation take many forms in a crowded nightclub and this wouldn't have been the first time she'd copped a quick admiring feel in passing herself.

But now they settled in for a while and the dancing became serious business. Grins flashed from face to face to face. The rippling accelerations and pauses ran through the crowd in waves as the virtuoso crouched behind the laptops spun them up and let them go. Open outbursts of exultant physical joy erupted across the room.

The band headlining the aural menu tonight was Species (just one shadowy dreadlocked figure actually) so the framework of the music was ultramodern studio-crafted syncopated psychedelia, every note obsessively tweaked and post-produced to within an inch of its life. By contrast the rhythms were decorated with a warm organic sound palette of wooden tones, water drums, animal cries, and voices chanting quietly in incomprehensible languages. The combined effect left the whole ensemble bending around and twisting apart in impossible directions to open occasional windows onto exotic alien landscapes and fantasy jungle scenes.

The air in the club was barely below blood temperature, thick, and soupy. The flashing lights and lasers rendered everything she could see into a seething two and a half dimensional background. As the group around her moved in the dance she found herself separating off, and starting to lose awareness of their indistinct undulating forms. Her own movements in time with the intricacies of the music acted to cancel the sound out in her head while it nonetheless continued to mask the voices of the crowd. This effectively left her in a kind of resonant silence like the indefinitely drawn out echo of a ringing bell.

She hung there for a short eternity, body moving almost of its own accord, hands highlighting and punctuating themes and melodies with dainty twists and flourishes. It was good to stretch her muscles properly again. It had been a while and she had some serious kinks to work out. People passed her drinks every now and then from outside the void. There were a couple of surreptitious spliffs as well, these still carrying a degree of risk even today. England and Wales had decriminalised back in the nineties when it became apparent that the body of public opinion, while not overwhelmingly positive on the subject, really didn't give much of a damn either way any more. Smoking of all sorts was still banned in clubs though so anyone who was caught holding the baby when security made one of their occasional sweeps took the chance of a ticking off or even a kicking out.

The dual totalities of sensory overload and frenetic activity left her mind paradoxically empty, suspended in its own private space. Taking a shortcut to Nirvana in the fast lane - they don't call it trance music for nothing.

So, deepening into herself, she effortlessly switched off the upper layer of her mind. Powering down the person, subvocalised thoughts dropping smoothly away. The constant internal background chatter of observation and opinion paling to silence and exposing the deeper underlying workings of cognition below. No language down there, these were the interactions which language was built to approximate, literally to rationalise. Writhing weaving emotional flows, meshing and intersecting, casting their shifting shadows up onto the cave wall of consciousness to be hooted at and cooed over by brainy apes.

Then sitting right there in the heart of her, she caught sight of a distortion. A zero dimensional force of destruction, almost impossible to focus on in itself but clearly visible in the effect it was having on the structure of her thought. Twisting the currents out of shape around itself like an event horizon so that patterns which should have been joyously harmonising and synergising together were instead collapsing into disarray. Distorted beyond tolerance until they were pulled in, ripped to shreds and smeared down into emptiness and dissolution.

She grasped for comprehension of her terrible prize, and her mind, after a hopeless struggle to verbalise the inexplicable, folded in on itself as it gave up.

But returning gradually to awareness of the outside world (still dancing, following the music, tracking with a casual hand up one side of the beat) she found she had kept something after all. The inadequate words she held in her head were all that remained of the lesson she'd taught herself, the scrawled precious note passed up by the shackled goddess inside.

Get your shit together and deal with it bitch, it said. He's not coming back and you're just wasting your own time here now.

The dismay must have shown on her face because she realised she was being nudged insistently from somewhere to her left. She glanced around and Anna was looking back over at her from next door where she was bouncing up and down in a kind of minimum dance holding pattern. Her continuing metronomic activity keeping her a safe component in the huge organic machine while flailing limbs and moving bodies neatly occupied the spaces around her.

Holding Lizzie's eye, Anna's hands came up, palms to the air. She tipped her head to one side.

You alright?

Apologetic look, one hand palm up, the other circling away into the air above her head.

Yes sorry, I was miles away, totally spaced out there.

Shrug and smile, quizzical look.

Happens to us all, as long as you're ok...

Glance from side to side, vague waving gesture with one hand, walking motion of two fingers with the other.

Actually you know what, I think I'll have a wander around.

Steepled hands forward like an icebreaker for the crowd.

Come with?

LIzzie shook her head and wiggled her eyebrows, traced an hourglass in the air with both hands. Anna knew she was single at the moment of course and would understand very well what that was supposed to mean. But, rather than heading off on a cruise to see if she could spot someone she might want to hook up with, she made her way straight off to pick up her jacket and bag.

Texting a brief apologetic explanation back to Anna on the way out the door she was in a cab headed home only a couple of minutes later. A good thing too as the impact of the cold air had made her realise how hard she must have been going on the drinks. She'd had to concentrate to keep her posture steady as she walked down the street to the taxi rank - the last thing she needed was the driver worrying she'd puke in the back of the car and refusing to take her fare. Her attempt at subterfuge must have done the trick because within a few more minutes her head was spinning wildly and she fought to keep it together as they turned out onto the main road, picking up speed.

*****

Sarah and Ray had been very much enjoying their evening in alone. After they had waved Lizzie off Sarah had filled and flavoured a bath while Ray had started on dinner.

They'd each taken their turns working on the meal and luxuriating in the water until both were finished. Then, with soft comfortable towelling robes to wear, they had eaten in the living room in front of the telly.

"Shall we put a film on," said Sarah. "I've been wanting to watch that Emma Stone thing."

"Anything you wish my darling," said Ray.

They'd sat watching the drama unfold. Ray seated at one end of the sofa and Sarah stretched out with her head in Ray's lap. The film had an odd pace to it, skipping quickly from lighthearted to poignant. The setting, although impressive, very much taking a lesser role, and the way the relationships between the characters developed stealing the show. At some point Ray's nearer hand had found its way under Sarah's robe and she was stroking her stomach and chest, cupping her breasts and teasing her nipples, occasionally tracing hopefully lower, just able to stroke the beginnings of Sarah's soft fur, but not quite able to reach all the way between her legs from where she was sitting.

Sarah was understandably having some difficulty concentrating, but she was determined to finish watching the film, so she was valiantly holding her position and hence keeping Ray at least slightly at bay. She could feel the heat radiating from Ray's groin against her cheek though and smell the faint heady scent of her. What with this feeding back into her own rising arousal, she was increasingly battling against the temptation to just turn her face down and nuzzle in.

There was some kind of complicated twist to the film's plot right in the last couple of minutes which despite the best of intentions, at least on Sarah's part, they were both far too distracted to follow. Then as the credits rolled the armistice was over and Ray was frantically fumbling with the tie of Sarah's gown, flinging it eagerly open to reveal her naked wife lying on her back. Her skin was flushed in the low light and her dark nipples stood hypnotically erect. Ray struggled to find a way to pounce, but she was still pinned down by Sarah's weight, and as for Sarah, she had other ideas.

She rolled neatly off the sofa to kneel on the floor in front of Ray, placing a hand on each of her wife's knees and applying pressure to insist she open her legs. Once in place she very slowly untied the loose knot of the dressing gown blocking her view, staring Ray in the face while she did so, she pulled the garment away with both hands, drawing back the curtains to reveal the main attraction. Dipping her head forward she ran her tongue up Ray's left inner thigh in one long stroke from knee to crotch, like the rising drumroll announcing the beginning of the show. And then in the distance they both heard a sound, although neither of them wanted to believe it was real - the scratching of a key in the front door.

Sarah slumped theatrically, "You have to be bloody kidding Lizzie. Now?"

They hastily straightened their clothing as they heard the front door snap shut behind Lizzie in the corridor. A few seconds later they were back sitting on the sofa when she put her head around the door.

"Hey you two," she slurred. "Sorry I'm back so soon, it just wasn't working out."

She tottered in, made an attempt to perch on the arm of a chair and failed, instead toppling head first down into the cushioned seat.

"That's alright Lizzie," said Sarah. "Are you going to be ok?"

Lizzie looked blearily back from the unusual angle where she had come to rest - facing sideways into the room with her feet pointed out into the air with her already short skirt settling up above her thighs. One of her shoes fell off and dropped to the ground. In her befuddled state she completely misunderstood the scope of Sarah's question.

"I don't even know anymore Sarah, I mean I'm a total disaster area aren't I. Wasting my time, filling my life with pointless parties full of pointless people. And there's something that's gone wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. I'm so lost and I just don't know where to start."

It was the matter of fact way she said it which saddened the other two the most. Lizzie didn't seem particularly angry, she wasn't raging against her unhappiness, she was only tired, and mournful, and desolate.

"They're probably not all pointless sweetie, especially the people, but I do see what you mean. And we'll sort it out ok, there's nothing to worry about right now."

"I just want to have a proper life and be in love like you two are. Not be somebody's," she struggled for words, "somebody's temporary sex creature again."

She lurched a couple of times, trying to shift her position, legs flailing wildly as she did so. The other shoe fell off to join the first but Lizzie herself remained in basically the same place.

"And now I can't even get out of this chair."

Ray sniggered, Sarah slapped her softly on the leg.

Lizzie sighed heavily, "No, it's definitely funny, you should go ahead and laugh."

Let's get you to bed Lizzie, " said Sarah. "It'll all look better in the morning. Ray could you do the lifting."

Ray stepped across the room and, hooking her arms beneath shoulder and knee, she gathered Lizzie easily into her arms. Carrying her into her little room she lowered her very carefully down onto the bed. Lizzie was falling quickly into sleep now. She made a couple of abortive attempts to tackle her coat, managing to get one arm off then pawing ineffectually at the other before giving up and lying back in defeat. Sarah came in with a large glass of water and a packet of painkillers which she left on the table by the bed. The two of them looked down at Lizzie who had already started to breath through her nose and was snoring quietly.

"She won't be comfortable like that," said Sarah. "We should at least get her coat off properly for her."

Ray worked Lizzie up into a sitting position, she was pretty much entirely unresponsive by now but still reasonably easy to adjust. They managed to peel the coat the rest of the way off revealing a short, sequinned halter top.

"That looks scratchy," ventured Ray, and Sarah nodded in silent agreement. So of course that had to go too, and then her skirt was covered in potentially scratchy sequins as well. For good measure Sarah peeled Lizzie's leggings off, hands perhaps lingering infinitesimally longer in doing so than pure practicality would require, while Ray watched, holding her breath. Then they shifted Lizzie over so that they could get some of the duvet over her.

As she lifted the bedding to cover her Ray looked again at Lizzie, lying on her back now and wearing only her knickers. Sarah rolled the sleeping girl carefully onto her side and gave her a protective kiss on the cheek.

"Amy," Ray said, dropping the duvet down, "is a bloody idiot. I'm sorry but it's true."

Sarah put an arm around her wife as they left Lizzie to sleep, closing the bedroom door behind them. "It's ok if you think she looks good love, I think so too. You don't have to apologise."

"She does," Ray agreed. "But it isn't only that. Lizzie's actually a really lovely person too, and when you can get her to open up she is absolutely amazing. Largely speaking I can't though."

Sarah switched off the lights in the living room and the hall and the two of them visited the bathroom before retreating to their own bedroom for the night. Ray perched on the side of the bath while Sarah cleaned her teeth.

"You should have seen her the other day when I tried to say something nice about how she looked," she said gloomily. "She just stared at me as if I was from another planet."

Sarah spat into the basin and rinsed out her mouth.

"It'll be ok love, she'll open up in time. And maybe you weren't exactly playing to your strengths there. You should try giving her a cuddle every now and then - show her she's special that way. Lizzie's the kind of person who needs plenty of that kind of attention and she's not been getting very much of it recently so she'll appreciate it all the more."

Closing the bedroom door behind them Ray went to her side of the bed. She stripped off the rest of her clothing efficiently and sat down on the edge, plugging her phone in to charge for the night and placing it on the table next to her.

"I'll give it a try," she said. "Sarah she seemed so defeated tonight. We can help her fix whatever's wrong. Right?"

"Of course we can," said Sarah. "She just needs a little bit of support at the moment I think, while she figures a few things out. What's really important is that she has a friendly, safe space to live in while she deals with it all. So I'll chat to her in the morning and make sure she knows we're happy to keep her ok."

"Definitely," said Ray. "Big fan of keeping Lizzie."

Sarah shrugged off her gown and stood naked at the end of the bed, waiting impatiently for Ray to turn and notice her. Already dripping wet in anticipation of the lust which would flare into her eyes when she did.

"But we've talked enough about Lizzie for now haven't we" she said. "I need all of your attention for myself again I think. I believe I was just getting started on something before we were interrupted - so stop wasting time, do what you're told, and lie down."