Eat Me, Bill Shakespeare

Traci saw the look on my face as I looked around at the decorations and fought back a tear.

"How about some eggnog, Bobby, and then I will put the packages under the tree. Would you mind holding the baby for a minute?"

I wanted to be rude, I really did, but I just couldn't. I hesitantly held out my arms and took the baby--her baby, with Gary--I held down the bile that started up from my stomach as she went to get some eggnog. I stood there holding the child straight out away from my body like she was some sort of explosive device for about 30 seconds, then I tucked her into my right arm football style, like I used to do with my own kids a long time ago, and sat down in a chair. Traci came in with two glasses of eggnog, one for each of us, and sat down in the second chair in the room, giving me a smile as she saw the baby tucked into my arm.

"That brings back a lot of memories, Bobby. You were always so good with the kids when they were little," she said softly. "Not every man has your touch with babies and toddlers."

I smiled self-consciously. The baby was beautiful, mostly taking after her beautiful mother, but I could never be comfortable with her, considering the circumstances. If you don't forget, can you ever really forgive? I don't believe so, although I know a lot of people, particularly many in my family, certainly don't agree with me.

We made some small talk for a while, then Traci took the two bags of presents and started to lay the packages out under the tree. She stopped and got a funny look on her face when she came to the first package with Bobbie Geraldine's name on it.

"You didn't have to include her, Bobby," Traci said as a tear slipped down her face.

"Christmas is for children of all ages, Babe. I couldn't leave your little one out."

I looked down at the little one in my arm. In the right circumstance, she could have been mine. I felt a lump in my throat. Damn. I couldn't hate the child, although I hated what her mother did. I was sure it was no accident that Traci handed me the baby to hold.

Traci choked up again when she found the first package with her name on it.

"Oh... Bobby. Really? You shouldn't have. I really wasn't expecting anything. I... I didn't get you anything. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about a thing, Traci. I just want you guys to have a great Christmas."

"You know... you could actually show up in person. You'd be more than welcome. We'll have more than enough to eat. I know the kids would love it as well," she said.

"Not this time, Trace. Maybe another year. It's too soon, too raw in my mind, and my heart."

Traci dropped her eyes. I wasn't trying to be cruel. I was honest. My wounds still stung.

Christmas Eve found me at a Barnes & Noble in the late afternoon. I was reading a new Clive Cussler book I had bought for myself and drinking a peppermint mocha latte at the Starbucks inside of the bookstore. I looked around and found two other losers reading in the Starbucks, as well.

They practically had to throw me and the other two losers out when they finally closed up. I went home to a silent house, but I was ready. I had earlier bought some chicken salad the day before and I made some toast to put it on. Ruffle's chips and Don Julio tequila completed the meal. Damn, I know how to live!

I woke up with a slight hangover on Christmas morning. Four aspirin, a couple of brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts and three cups of coffee later, I was ready for a big Christmas celebration. Only one problem: I didn't have one planned. I went over to my parents' and the three of us enjoyed my mom's baked ham dinner and a few gifts. My kids had dropped off gifts for me at my parents' when they found out I would be there for the holiday.

We were enjoying some hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps as an after dinner drink. I have to admit my mind was whirring with memories of past Christmases when we were a family. I admitted to myself that I still loved Traci to some extent, and I did have some doubts that I had made the right move.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one thinking about my past life.

"We hope you don't mind, Bobby, but Dad and I consider Bobbie Geraldine as our grandchild, and we bought Christmas gifts for her," Mom said to break the quiet in the room. "He's dead, Bobby. Gary's gone. The baby will never know him. She will accept any good man as her father. We don't necessarily agree with what Traci did, but we understand it somewhat, and we still love her.

"You could be that good man, Bobby. You should be that good man. Everybody wants that... and I think you do, too. You just don't know how to admit it to yourself. You think everybody will think less of you for taking her back and raising the baby as your own."

Mom had tears in her eyes when she finished. Dad was glaring bullets at me. Could I be the only one not to see it? Maybe, but every time I thought that way I just knew that I could never face myself in the mirror if I did that. She cheated on me for months, she tried to deceive me and she had another man's child. Her cry that sleeping with Gary was compassionate rang hollow to me.

A year later, virtually nothing had changed in my life. I went to work and I came home alone to my apartment. I didn't date, and my number of friends had severely dwindled. To be truthful, I never really had a lot of friends. Traci had a lot of friends and we as a couple had a lot, but both of those mostly left me after the divorce. I wasn't surprised that her friends would leave me, but I was surprised that virtually all of "our" friends would go away. At least I was surprised until one of those former friends sort of explained the situation to me: seems that Traci was telling everybody that I abandoned her after the child was born... without mentioning that the child wasn't mine.

I was sitting in a neighborhood bar--by myself, of course--when Carl and Susie Dimmick came in and took a table. Carl and Susie were one of those couples that I considered among "our friends," but I got a very cool reception when I sauntered over to their table to say hello. Susie flat out sneered at me, while Carl was barely civil. Considering I had never done anything that I could see to offend them, I was pissed off at the poor reception, and wasn't going to quietly walk away.

"What the fuck did I ever do to you two?" I snarled.

"Not to us, but to Traci," Susie hissed. "How could you just walk away from the sweetest woman in the world because she had a late in life child? You suck, you know that?"

"Is that what this is about?" I said in near-shock. "How about you hear the whole story, then decide for yourself."

They both motioned for me to sit down, but I was too wound up at that point, and just stood there in front of their table. I leaned in close because I didn't want to scream.

"So I can assume that nobody mentioned to you that the late in life child you are referring to is NOT MINE, you fuckwads! She lived with and got knocked up by her old boyfriend, and that is HIS KID! He died from cancer about a month after she got pregnant, and she tried to deceive me into thinking it was my kid. Twenty-four years of marriage, and that's the respect and loyalty I get. So no, I didn't abandon her. She abandoned me. Fuck her, fuck both of you and fuck the horse you rode in on!"

I left two stunned former friends at the table.

My second Christmas as a divorced guy started off exactly like my first one. This year's Christmas Eve losers club at Barnes & Noble included four people: me, another guy and two women. I looked over the top of my book and appraised the women. One had curly red hair, freckles and a nice-looking face, and the second one... wow, why was she here? She was beautiful at the least: Asian with waist-length black hair and curves hiding in her sweatshirt and tight jeans. She had perfect ageless skin, and I guessed she was anywhere from 50 to 55 years old. I watched her for about a minute, then figured fuck it: all she could do was say no.

I picked up my book and my latte and made my way over. She looked up when I got within talking distance.

"I didn't see you here last Christmas Eve. You're new to the Christmas Eve losers club. I'm Bobby, club president. What brings a beautiful woman out on this auspicious day?"

She giggled at my poor joke, and it was the most delightful sound I had heard in a long time. I pushed on.

"I know you're not going to believe this, but I actually have a second Hungry Man dinner in my freezer that I can heat up tonight, if you don't already have a reservation. I know we've just met, but..."

I gave her my best puppy dog look, hoping I remembered how to do it.

"Well, I don't usually do something crazy like this, but since you're the club president... and you are talking Hungry Man... yes, I accept. By the way, I'm Angel Wong."

"Bobby Martin, club president, at your service."

I gave her my address, and told her to meet me at six. I left to put the dinners in the oven.

I had both dinners warming up when she showed up exactly at six. I had to admit to myself that perhaps both of us were more than a little nuts.

We had our dinners at the kitchen table and drank a bottle of burgundy. I told her how I came to be sitting at Barnes & Noble on Christmas Eve, and then she gave me her story. She was five years older than me at 52 and had been divorced for 10 years after leaving an abusive husband. She and her husband had been married for 16 years, with his abuse starting after 10 years and lasting until he put her in the hospital with a broken jaw.

Angel was a small woman at 5-1 and maybe 100 pounds. Her ex was about 5-2 and maybe 120, she said. He apparently had been bullied a lot as a child, and under stress he would get loud and abusive verbally. After 10 years of marriage that escalated into physical abuse, but when he calmed down he would always apologize and beg for forgiveness. Like many abused women, she just couldn't bring herself to end it with her husband, believing that she was the cause of his abuse. It finally took a mental health counselor to make her see that she was not at fault, and when she woke up in the hospital after yet another fight, she knew she had to divorce him for her physical safety.

Her husband was convicted of battery and spent two years in jail before disappearing from her life completely. They were divorced while he was in prison. Fortunately, they didn't have children.

Angel hadn't done too much dating since her divorce, she admitted, and didn't have any family in this part of the country. She admitted, while holding back tears,

that Christmas was always the most depressing time of the year for her.

"I know it was crazy for me to agree to come here tonight, but I just didn't want to be alone... and how could I pass up a Hungry Man dinner?" she explained.

I was feeling sorry for myself at Barnes & Noble, but after talking with Angel, I realized I still had it better than a lot of people.

We sat on my couch together, drank wine and watched several Christmas movies, starting with the Mr. Magoo version of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." I knew there was something special about this woman when she totally agreed with my opinion that Mr. Magoo was the definitive Scrooge.

We then watched "Grinch" and about halfway through "It's A Wonderful Life" I noticed that she had fallen asleep. She seemed to have a smile on her face, and she looked so at peace that I got a big quilt out of the closet, covered her with half and crawled under the other half.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, too, but when I woke up we weren't sleeping sitting up side by side. I'm not sure how it happened, but when I woke we were lying down with Angel's head on my chest, and half her body on top of mine. I had one arm around her body, hugging her tightly, and my other hand slid into a back pocket. The TV was playing snow.

Strange as it was, it also felt so right as I lay there and held Angel while she slept for about another 20 minutes. She stirred and slowly opened her eyes, looking at me in confusion. I leaned my head up as far as I could and gently kissed her nose. She crinkled it up adorably and then gave me the brightest smile I'd seen in a few years.

"Morning?" she asked timidly.

"Merry Christmas," I responded, squeezing her tighter in my arms.

We laid together, unmoving and smiling, for another five minutes, before she finally spoke.

"I've never done this before, I swear," she protested as her cheeks practically glowed red. "But is it just me, or do you feel it, too?"

I gave her an ear-to-ear grin.

"Hell yes I'm feeling it!"

She scooted up on me a couple of inches until our lips were touching, then we kissed passionately. We did that a few more times before clothes started to be shucked off. A few minutes later she climbed up on top of me and slowly impaled herself on my rock hard cock. She put her hands on my chest to steady herself, and settled in when my cock bumped her cervix. She smiled down at me, then started to rock back and forth, before changing to bouncing up and down. We both winced once or twice when she bounced down a little harder than intended. She was much tighter than I had anticipated.

I was playing with her nice-sized boobs, which were bouncing along with her. I thumbed her hard nipples and her pussy sort of twitched around my dick. Her eyes were glazed and her breathing was coming in quick rasps. I then gripped her nipples between my thumb and index fingers of both hands and gave a slight tug, triggering what I would call a massive orgasm and a shriek that probably was heard by my neighbors. She drenched my dick and thighs with her warm secretions, and I moaned in appreciation.

I slowed down while she rode out her orgasm, then I went back to my previous speed and encouraged her to follow suit with her bouncing. She had another sizable orgasm a few minutes later, and as she squeezed my dick with her vaginal muscles, I followed along, shooting several ropes of cum inside her. I had to hang on to her tightly because I almost bucked her small body off.

She collapsed on my chest once I stopped bucking, then planted another fierce kiss on my lips. Then we cuddled together. I smelled her skin; I licked her neck and jawline. I nibbled the inside of her shoulders.

I found myself thinking that this was crazy. I had just met this woman, but we felt so right together. Then I looked up and found her staring at me, and I could tell she was practically thinking the same thing.

"This may be crazy," I started, "But you don't haven't any plans for today, do you, 'cause I've got all the 'fixins' for a first class Christmas dinner. And if I'm going to go through all this trouble... well it certainly wouldn't hurt to have a beautiful woman sitting across the table from me."

Her grin became a wide smile that enveloped my heart.

"I need a shower, and I didn't bring a change of clothes with me. I could run home for a few minutes and come right back," she said.

I smiled back at her.

"My shower is big enough for two, and I'm sure I've got a shirt or something that would fit you."

Her almond eyes danced back at me.

"If you can put up with me without make-up, I'm game," she said.

We showered together and I showed her my skills with my fingers on and in her pussy. I found her one of my smaller sweaters, which she slipped on with nothing underneath. It came halfway down her thighs, and was tight enough to watch her breasts sway and jiggle as she moved around.

"Good look," I related as she modeled the "outfit" for me.

We went into the kitchen and I poured us each a glass of Riesling as I began my meal prep. Angel sat down at the kitchen table and pulled both of her legs up to her, which meant half of her ass was showing and distracting me.

"So you really have no place to be today? Family? Nothing?" she asked.

"Actually, I got invited to the big family Christmas dinner this year, but I told them I had a previous engagement," I answered. "My ex is having everybody over at my old house: the kids, my folks, her folks, Gary's folks. It's a set-up. She'll make sure I hold her adorable kid, all the parents will be there telling me to man up and she'll be there telling me that she loves me and needs me and we can find it again.

"I told her I had a previous engagement, but everybody knows I'm lying. I told her I'd try to make it for a while if I could.

"None of them get it from my standpoint. I didn't cheat. I shouldn't have to apologize because Traci cheated and fucked up. We had something special until we didn't.

"But speaking of something special... how about we talk about us?"

We both smiled. I walked over to Angel and we kissed deeply. Just then I heard a key in my door lock and my door opened. My son walked in, calling out as he did so. Angel and I froze mid-kiss.

"D-a-a-d-d," he called out just before he spotted us. "Oh. Oh shit."

He looked at us kissing, then looked down at Angel's completely exposed legs and half-exposed ass. I think all three of us blushed. Angel quickly put her legs down and stood up behind me, which was about as modest a look as she could manage in that sweater.

Jeffrey immediately turned his back to us, ostensibly to preserve Angel's modestly, although I think he was as embarrassed as she was.

"Mom knows I have a key to your place, and she asked me to come here and drag you back to the house for Christmas dinner, because she was sure you were sitting here by yourself, being pathetic. Well... I guess you were telling the truth about your previous engagement... and she's... that's... hardly pathetic. I'm sorry if I interrupted something."

"You aren't interrupting anything other than my Christmas meal prep," I said perhaps a little too quickly as Angel and I exchanged embarrassed looks at each other.

"Jeffrey, I need you to turn around so I can properly introduce you to Angel, my angel."

Jeffrey reluctantly turned around and came into the kitchen. Yes, it was pretty obvious that Angel was naked under the sweater, but at least she was covered. She looked at me, kind of shrugged and then owned the look.

Jeffrey couldn't help himself, being a red-blooded male. He glanced again at Angel, then gave me what I would call a nod of admiration.

"Good to meet you, Angel. And thanks for being here for my dad," Jeffrey said.

"It's my pleasure, Jeffrey. Your dad is quite the guy," Angel responded.

"Yeah, it seems that some people in the family had forgotten that for a while," he said.

"Did everyone like the gifts I dropped off?" I asked, changing the subject. "How did Bobbie G like her gifts?"

"You still got the touch, Dad. Everyone loves their stuff. The baby loves the stuff you bought. You can't believe how much stuff she got under the tree, with all three sets of grandparents there."

"Good. Good," I answered.

Jeffrey then said he had to go. He nodded at Angel, then I gave him a huge hug.

"New Year's?" I asked. "I promise Angel will have more clothes on."

"Oh yeah," he answered, blushing deeply.

Angel gave me a hard look after Jeffrey left.

"That wasn't too awkward, was it?" she asked. "And what's this about New Year's? I don't get asked first?"

"Nope. Not this time," I said. "But where else would my fiancée be on New Year's?"

"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?" she asked.

"Be even more sure when you pick out your ring tomorrow morning at Ciaro's."

"Are you going to let me go home first so I can actually put on some clothes?"

"If you insist," I said, trying to sound disappointed.

Angel picked out a one-carat marquis cut diamond engagement ring the next morning. We then went to lunch and I called my son and then my parents with the news that I was engaged. My son truly seemed thrilled for me; my parents not so much. I think they were still under the delusion that I would take Traci back and raise her child as mine.