Elf on a Shelf

Honey nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist so that he could move his arms again. She felt him move the loofah between her legs and begin washing her private area, looking around the shower stall as he did. When Honey cringed and her breath hissed between her teeth, he stopped, "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her face.

"It's... rough..." she said, quietly.

"Yeah, but it was fine when... oh... right... sensitive. Okay..." he said, swallowing as he tossed the loofah aside and hesitantly reached his fingers between her legs. Honey leaned her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes, gasping when his fingers made contact. "Is that... is that okay?" he asked. She nodded and tried to move her legs further apart for him.

Zach gently washed her, trying to think of sports scores, laxative commercials, or the accounts payable at the club, but inevitably his cock noticed that he was holding the woman of his dreams naked in his arms. When she shifted against him, trying to keep her balance, a breathy grunt escaped him as she inadvertently rubbed against him. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, trying to give him more room.

"Don't be... you're perfect... it's fine..." he said, trying to think about anything but how it would feel to slide his cock between her slippery lips right at that moment. "Let me just get the... water..." he gritted, reaching for the shower sprayer and directing it between her legs.

Honey gasped and whimpered as the water pulsed against her clit, down her labia and over her anus again and again, feeling Zach's eyes on her as he did it, intensely absorbing her every reaction. She trembled as she held on to him, trying to remain calm. Finally, she raised her eyes up to him and opened her wet lips and whispered, "Zach...?"

"Hey, how do you guys want your eggs?" Terry asked, sticking his head into the bathroom.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, MAGGOT!" Zach roared, as Honey squealed and released him, quickly ducking down to where Terry couldn't see her on the shower chair.

"Scrambled, it is," Terry said, ducking out of the bathroom and leaving them alone again.

Zach watched Honey begin to shiver as the room cooled off and handed her a towel. "Let me know when you're dry and I'll wrap up your leg again," he said, looking around the bathroom uncomfortably before wrapping a towel around his waist and taking off his wet underwear from underneath.

After securing her ankle in the air cast, Zach carried her back up to the bedroom, turned his back to her, and blocked Terry's kitchen view of the loft as Honey dressed. When she finished, Zach turned around again, his mouth hardening into a grim line when he saw she had put on her elf dress again. "You're... going, then," he said, frowning as he watched her wince at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to tie the thick red ribbon belt behind her back.

He stepped behind her and took the belt out of her hands and began brusquely tying it. "I want you to stay," he said to the back of her head, tugging the loops into a tight knot.

Honey hobbled around to face him, "Enough to tell me why you wanted to send that message to someone?" she asked him, her dark blue eyes somber.

"You... you wouldn't want to stay if I did," he murmured, stroking the soft velvet covering her arms.

"Then, I guess I should go," she said, looking away before she could start crying again.

*** *** ***

"Wow, nice apartment!" Terry said, following Honey inside her apartment with the bag of her clothes. "The blood stains really bring the room together..."

"Say what you will, it's all mine," she said, hobbling over to the sofa and curling up, exhausted.

"Here's your mail. I gotta text Zach, he's going nuts... well, more than usual, anyway," he said, handing her a stack of envelopes. "Arrived at hellhole... Angel has typhoid... the tweakers give their love... send food stamps," he said aloud, typing into his phone as Honey went through her mail. "Let me go set up the bath chair... just the thing to class up the joint," he said, disappearing to the bathroom.

When Terry returned, he found Honey white as a sheet, reading a letter. "Whoa, kid... you okay? Need a pain pill? Let me take you back to Zach's. You look like you really do have typhoid..." he said, kneeling down next to her.

"Um... yeah, I'm fine," she said faintly, then cleared her throat. "Would... would you mind taking that laptop with you when you go deliver the charity gifts to the firm? They... asked me to send it back... probably upgrading..." she said, quickly wiping the tears off her cheeks.

Terry watched her for a long moment, his face grim, "... and don't mention it to Zach?" he finished.

"Um... probably not?" Honey choked.

"Ah, Honey... you have hospital bills. This is where a sensible person starts telling themself, 'Hey self, maybe I should go back to that really great guy that wants to take care of me," Terry said, closing her laptop and wrapping the power cord around it.

"If he's such a great guy, why does he send people messages like this?" she asked, holding up the screenshot to him.

After staring at the screen for a while, Terry let out a low whistle, "Now, see, Zach just puts it right out there. You gotta respect that. No wonder he got so much ass. He send this to you?"

"He said he meant to send it to someone else, but what are you talking about? He sent this to me on our first date when he went to the restroom! I thought he wanted to kill me!"

Terry canted his head and looked at the screenshot again, "Oh... yeah, I could see that. Especially if you got it without the dick pic," he said, nodding sympathetically. "No, see, this was sort of a sex S.O.S., if you will. A guy goes out with a girl like you, it's like a high-wire act. He gets all wound up, needs to blow off some steam, sends out a flare hoping someone can help him take the edge off things so you don't find out what a high-strung, rough sex freak he is. You're a big deal. He just didn't want to scare you off, Angel," Terry explained.

"He... he wanted to go have sex with someone else after our date??" Honey yelled, incensed.

"Only because he *liked* you so much!" Terry argued, winsomely. Just then, Honey's phone rang in his hand and he tapped the screen, "Honey's phone!" he answered.

"DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!" Honey yelled at her phone when she saw it was Zach's number.

"Ah yeah?" Terry said, holding the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Right. Be right over," he said, disconnecting the call and handing the phone back to Honey.

"What did he say?" Honey asked, grinding her teeth.

Terry leaned over and flipped her phone back to the screenshot that had frightened her so much, "Yeah... pretty much that... just without the sex. See you when I get out of the hospital, kid," he sighed.

During the next week, Honey took a bus to the city hall offices and applied for unemployment, used the library computers to send out her resume and read her email, and got no calls whatsoever from Zach. Gatsby's, however, started having trouble with their delivery service and three meals a day were accidentally delivered to her disreputable apartment. When she called Gatsby's about it, she was assured they were working on it and were sure to fix the delivery service problem... as soon as they got a delivery service.

The following week, Honey got a knock at her door. Promising herself she would open the door only for the pleasure of slamming it shut in the visitor's stupid, handsome face, Honey hobbled up and looked through the peep hole. It wasn't who she expected, though.

"Um, hi..." she said, opening the door a bit and tightening her robe.

"Hi Honey, I'm Jeff. You probably don't remem—"

"I remember you," Honey said, opening the door wider. "Please come in."

"Thank you," he said, coming in and standing with his coat over his arm as she hobbled back to the couch.

"Jeff, I always wanted to call Gatsby's and thank you... you know, for what you did," Honey said. "For the 'angel shot.' I didn't realize I was on a date with the owner, at the time. I hope it didn't make trouble for you," she said.

"You're kidding, right? He fired me on the spot," Jeff laughed.

"Oh no..." she said, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay. He hired me back as a manager a couple weeks ago. Said anyone who had the balls to do what it took to protect you, even from him, that was someone he wanted taking care of his customers. Actually said that, looking back, if you had been scared enough to ask someone for help back then and they *didn't* help you, well, he'd probably want to go find them and...and... well, the details don't matter, and they're probably illegal, anyway. The point is, we're good."

"Oh, that's... that's good to hear. Is this about the delivery service problem, then?"

"We don't have a delivery service."

"Well, yeah, I know. I mean the meals that Zach is making you send me."

"Um... I'm probably going to get my life threatened for telling you this, but we're not sending you meals. Zach's popping in and out with a lot of takeout boxes under his arm, but Gatsby's isn't sending you any meals, Honey. That's... that's all Zach."

"Oh..." Honey said, her cheeks warming.

"Yeah, no I came to ask if you'd be interested in a job."

Honey laughed, "I appreciate it, but don't think I'd make much of a waitress right now."

"Actually, I kinda had something else in mind..."

*** *** ***

Honey's heart pounded as the music swelled and she felt the platform descend, her legs dangling down clad in candy cane striped stockings and curled-toe shoes. Her dress was the same pink velvet and white fur trim costume as before, but the fabric was far more luscious and expensive than the dress she'd worn in the mall. It had arrived at her door with a seamstress tasked with making it fit flawlessly. Honey's eyes were closed out of habit, getting ready to sing for the clientele of the great room as Gatsby's "Elf on a Shelf." She knew he was out there. He always came out of hiding when she sang. A smile curled across her face as she felt the spotlight warm her body. She opened her eyes.

After the show, Honey stripped off her tights and a stage hand gave her the air cast as soon as the platform had risen out of sight. Gingerly, she eased her leg back into the boot and began strapping herself in again. As she reached the last fastener, two large hands took the straps out of hers and began wrapping them expertly.

Honey blushed and looked aside as Zach did it, and tried not to roll her eyes when he checked the other two straps to be sure she had secured them properly. His eyes wandered over her with nervous adoration, like he still couldn't quite convince himself she was real... even after the mundane work of feeding her, dressing her, and cleaning her all those days up in his loft.

"Did you like the show?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with a small smile.

Zach sighed with relief, having received tacit permission to speak to her again. "Yes," he said.

"Did you really like it?" she asked, her eyes twinkling, her smile growing bigger.

"I really... really liked it," Zach said, nodding and pulling at the collar of the dress shirt that was having trouble containing him. He seemed to have only grown larger in their weeks apart.

"So much that you want to go have rough sex with somebody else tonight?" she asked, her large and deceptively innocent, twinkling eyes skewering him.

Zach's mouth set, "I... I don't do that anymore. I exercise," he said quietly, reddening and looking away from her.

"Oh... I see," Honey said, nodding. Ignoring the hands he offered her, Honey rolled herself onto her good knee and clumsily pushed herself back up into a standing position, her skirt flashing him as she rose.

"What the fuck is that?" Zach yelled, pulling her skirt up to where a large purpling bruise was blooming on her hip.

Honey bit her lips and forced her face to stop grinning before she turned and faced him again. "What's what?" she asked innocently.

"What the hell do you think? That fucking huge purple ass-shiner you're walking around with! Where the fuck did that come from?" he roared.

"Oh, that? I slipped. You know, it's icy out there..." she said brightly, patting his chest and hobbling past him to her dressing room.

Zach clenched his hands and followed her, growling things under his breath that would make a sailor blush. She wobbled into the dressing room, leaving the door open behind her, wondering if he would follow her in. He didn't, but instead stood there in the doorway glowering at her like a gargoyle as she pulled some clothes out of a large Gatsby's takeout bag. Honey's ribs were beginning to hurt from trying not to laugh.

Honey breath hissed through her teeth as she reached behind her, fumbling with the knot of her wide red ribbon belt, her shoulder still healing from the dislocation. Before long, she heard muttered curses and large feet stomp into the room and push her hands aside, untying the belt for her. She smiled her thanks up at him over her shoulder, and moved her hair aside so he could help her with the zipper. Carefully, he smoothed some more of her hairs aside and slowly lowered the clasp.

"So, um... how would it have worked?" she asked quietly, the softness of her voice making him lean in to hear her.

Zach cleared his throat, "How would what have worked?" he asked, his breath falling warm on her neck as he tried to unclasp the tiny hook at top of the dress with his large fingers.

"If we'd gotten together that night... if I'd never got that message," she said.

Zach closed his eyes and shook his head. "I would've taken you home. Maybe tried for a kiss at your door, if you looked like you wanted it," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Cheek or lips?" she asked.

He sighed, "Who am I kidding? I would've passed out from not breathing by the time I got that close."

"And those... other things... would you have wanted to do those things to me? To hurt me... to scare me?" she asked, her voice shaking.

Zach turned her to look her in the eye, and she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping the unzipped, loose elf dress from falling down. "No Honey," he swore, shaking his head emphatically, cupping her face and holding her tightly. "God no. Never. Never ever. I would've never let you see that side of me. I'd give it up. I gave it up. I'd go run ten miles before I even—" his impassioned vows were interrupted by a loud crack as a delicate hand slapped him across the face.

"How dare you?" Honey said, trembling with fury before she winced and cradled her hand to her chest as Zach blinked slowly in disbelief, trying to process what had happened. "That's for deciding you'd just have a boring, unsatisfied sex life with me without even asking what I wanted, you... you overbearing ass! That's for offering only a part of yourself to me! That's for ruining our beautiful date because you were ashamed of the man I lo—" Honey's uncharacteristic rage was interrupted by Zach's mouth descending on hers and claiming it furiously, pressing her against the wall as her dress fell to the floor.

The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, and Zach pulled away from her, his face a twitching, terrifying storm as he stared down at her. He wrapped his hand around the slender wrist of her only functional arm and pressed it to the wall over her head. "You don't hit me like that... ever," he said quietly, breathing hard through flared nostrils. Honey trembled, staring up into his blazing eyes almost panting against him in terror... but also in something else. The corner of Zach's mouth curled when he saw her deep blue eyes dilate hugely, a heady, familiar scent rising up between them. "You don't fucking hit anyone like that... goddamn amateur. You wanna break your wrist? Jesus Christ. Get your ass dressed and I'll take you home, you little freak," he growled, turning around to give her privacy and hide the huge smile he couldn't stop from covering his face.

When Honey came up panting for air, she was pressed against the wall of Zach's loft as he fumbled with the locks of his door with one hand. She was making good progress at getting his shirt off, but it kept bunching up around his arms, and the cuffs were still a problem she didn't even want to think about. Even so, she was blissfully occupied with the acres of warm bare skin and muscle that she had excavated. "This isn't my home..." she said, looking around bewildered, "why does everyone get my address wrong?"

"Probably because they've blocked it out after seeing your place. Shut up and tell me what you want," Zach said, carrying her over to the stairs until he saw a bit of her lower lip he needed to bite and had to take a break to do it properly. "Look, don't give me names, because then I'd have to kill 'em, but tell me what makes you hot, Honey... we're gonna do all of it and more. I'm making your dreams come true, tonight," he said, winding his hand in her hair as she dropped her head back to give him her neck.

"Oh! Um... I liked it when—"

"No names," he reminded her, covering her mouth.

"Right...well, this one guy, he um... he wore a towel around his waist and bent over his dresser to look for his underwear? And this other time, he held this spoon out to me and I opened my mouth and he fed me. And... and... um... in the shower, he... he held me against him in the water and—"

"Honey, are all these stories gonna be about me?"

"Um... yeah?"

"That's sweet of you, tryin' to keep me outta jail and all, but I need you to get to the part about cock and pussy. Stories about me aren't gonna help that. Cock, pussy, tongue, ass, tits, ears, neck, taint - what do you like?" he asked

"Right... uh... I liked it when you washed me down there... my pussy... with your fingers?" Honey said, at a loss.

Zach drew his head back from her neck and looked at her, his face growing uneasy. "Honey?"

"And when you sprayed the water back and forth down there, especially the top bump part, that really made me feel amazing, kind of squirmy, you know?"

"Oh Jesus..." he said, looking as if he'd been hit in the head.

"And um... I know I wasn't supposed to look, but your um... you know... p-penis... in the shower, when your underwear got wet? That was—"

"I don't feel so good..." he said, lowering himself to the floor and sitting down on the stairs.

"No, no, it's fine. We can do this. What's a taint and what do I do with it?" she asked, sitting down and cuddling up next to him.

Zach held his head in his hands, "You're a virgin... not like an "everything but" Evangelical, but like an alien or something. I don't know if I can do this."

"Look, I know how to have sex... I had health class, for Pete's sake!" she said, slapping his shoulder.

"What the fuck did I just get myself into?" he said through his hands.

Honey pulled his hands down from his face and climbed up in his lap, putting his arms around her and looping her arms around his neck. "Zach... I have been a very good girl... not just this year, but for a long, long time. I figure that makes it so I can ask for something really big. So, here's what I want: I want you and me... just being together. Not planned or rehearsed or trying to be impressive. You already impress me. You're the best person I know. You took care of me when you hated me. You took care of me, even when I hated you. I just want to see what it's like if we let go of all that and just... you know... love. Will you give me that for Christmas, Santa? Please?" she asked, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly.

"I've... never done that before," he said stiffly, looking sideways at her, unable to turn his head.

"I'll be gentle with you," she whispered, smiling and brushing her lips against his.