Emma's New Beginning Ch. 03

It wasn't just the sex that amazed her though, it was how he was so calm, relaxed, and knew how to bring out the best in everyone around him. They'd spent the past few nights curled up with a DVD and bottle of wine. He was a student and couldn't afford to take her out all the time, but she didn't care. His pride refused to let her pay for a date, and so instead they'd spent time alone inside.

They had wonderful conversations, she told him about her parents, and how she'd met all of her closest friends. He told her about his half-brother, who was ten years older than him and the father that had abandoned both of them and their mothers. He spoke a lot about his mum, who had done everything for him, it was obvious in everything he said how much he cared for her.

For the first time in almost a week Emma was alone in her house at night. James was with his mum, meeting her new boyfriend over a cosy home cooked meal while she dealt with chores, and realised she missed his company already.

To say that scared her was an understatement, the week had been fantastic, the sex kept on getting better, but she just wasn't ready to miss him. She didn't want to feel slightly sad when he wasn't around, or to feel so comfortable and like everything was right with the world when he was around. He was only 20 for God's sake, he was at college studying and had hundreds of girls ahead of him. When he looked at her she felt her heart lighten; and that terrified her.

Settling down for the night, she tucked her feet under her bum on the sofa to watch some TV before retiring to the bedroom, alone. Jumping at the sound of her mobile phone beeping, she reached over for it, to find a text message from him.

Hey babe. Will be back soon, want company? xx

She wanted company more than anything, but she needed time to think. Tapping her fingers over the buttons she replied quickly.

Sorry, am tired tonight so about to go sleep.

Once more her phone bleeped at her.

Sleep well then. I'll miss you xx

Tears filled her eyes as she ran up to her bed. He was too wonderful, too perfect, and she didn't want to be broken hearted again.

**

"Hey J, you up for doing the meat on the barbecue?" Taff called out, the coals beginning to smoulder on the grill, finally.

"Yeah, whatever." Was the answer he got back.

Taff frowned. It wasn't like James to be so quiet. He was unused to this new facet of his friend. Usually it'd be James getting everything ready for their friends coming round to watch the football and get drunk. It was James who'd drag Taff out, who'd pull him out of bad moods when he retreated inside himself. James was never the one keeping things inside.

If he was J then he'd already have some kind of hint what was wrong before trying to cheer him up. So Taff thought about the past few weeks. James had been so happy, especially when he met the girl across the road and spent nights with her. Could it be possible that he was falling for her? That she'd turned him down or something? Taff chewed his lip thoughtfully, deciding that it had to be something to do with Emma.

James walked out of the kitchen, over towards where Taff stood poking the barbecue. The sun washing everything in it's bright light, Tom Petty's 'Free Falling' playing on Taff's battered portable CD player. He loved summertime, he loved the heat, the scents in the air from flowers, the green grass shimmering vibrantly, freshly dug earth. But he had barely noticed any of it in the past few days. She was avoiding him.

"Did you ask Emma over?" Taff blurted out, figuring the best way to get James to talk was to get to the root of the problem before all their friends arrived.

"What's the point? As if she's going to want to watch the footie." James grunted, looking over the grill to see how it was burning.

"You never know." Taff shrugged.

"She's probably busy, she's been busy for the past week."

"You went over there a couple of nights ago."

"She wanted sex. She let me make love to her, and then she kicked me out." James refused to look at his friend.

"Whoa dude... Make love? You like her then."

"I've never slept with anyone I don't like, of course I like her."

"Nah, you really like her. This aint like you, man. You care for her." Taff felt smug at discovering the problem so easily.

"Sure I do, just like I care for you, Welsh boy."

"J, you wouldn't be pissed at me for kicking you out of bed. Let's face it, you are miserable without her, you're falling for her." Taff watched James' head snap up, eyes glaring at him. Ah ha. He knew it.

"Why do I have to fall for the one woman who's only interested in my cock?" James felt used. Dragging his hand through his thick blonde curls in frustration, he longed to go over and demand to know why she was so distant when things had been going so well.

"Because you're fucked up. All the girls that you turn away because they get too clingy and now the shoe is on the other foot."

"Thanks for the support. Shit, here's the guys, I'll let them in." James ran back into the house.

Taff rolled his eyes at the timing. Typical, he finally got James to talk and the lads arrived, along with a worn out looking Stella, their other house mate's girlfriend. Ah well, maybe she could throw the salad together to go with the hotdogs and burgers they planned on eating.

**

Emma watched James answer the door to a small group of people around his age from her bedroom window. Setting the book she'd been reading down on her lap she gazed outside. The welcoming chatter floated up to the open window, and she felt herself grow stiff as a girl flung her arms around him, kissing him on the mouth. She winced at the pain of seeing him with someone else and threw her book across the room.

Last time she'd seen him had been so hard on her. Instead of fucking her crazily, he'd taken his time, telling her how beautiful she was to him. Kissing everywhere, licking and stroking until she burnt up. He'd spent at least half an hour bringing her to orgasm with his tongue, before slipping his thick cock into her, slowly riding her while he stared deep into her eyes. They'd come at the same time and she knew in that instant as his blue eyes pierced her soul that she loved him.

She couldn't bare it any more. He'd quietly put his clothes back on after she'd asked him to leave, making up some excuse about needing to get up early for a meeting at work. He hadn't looked at her, just left her bedroom and let himself out with a vague goodbye wave. He'd called twice since, and she'd ignored the phone, left the text messages unanswered when he asked what she was doing that weekend.

Drawing up her legs, she wrapped her arms around them, resting her head on her knees as she sobbed silently.

Drying her eyes, she reached for her phone needing to talk to someone who would understand the agony she felt.

"Hi!" Holly's voice rang into her ear.

"Holly. How are you?" Emma asked, her voice sounding broken.

"Oh no, Em, are you at home?" Holly's concerned voice filtered through the speaker.

"Yeah, so you got anything planned?"

"I have now. I'm on my way love."

**

Thirty minutes later Holly sat next to Emma at the table, both of them holding mugs of fresh tea. Emma's big brown eyes were puffy from crying as she told Holly what was wrong.

"Oh Emma, he isn't Steve. You deserve some happiness. I know you feel guilty, but Steve was a wanker to you, it isn't your fault he died just as you decided you'd had enough. He didn't deserve you, he treated you like crap."

"I wasn't enough for him. It was my fault he looked elsewhere."

Holly's heart broke as she watched her friend's pain filled eyes. She'd hoped Emma had finally got over the fact that she couldn't mourn Steve's death because she had stopped loving him after he'd been sleeping with everyone but her.

"Look at me Emma. You were not to blame for his cheating, I promise not every man out there is the same, you just have to have faith." She reiterated.

"I couldn't even cry when he died, and now here I am upset over some young guy who is just sowing his wild oats." Emma shrugged, feeling dejected.

"I don't think that's what the past few weeks have been about Emma. James is so caring towards you. You're not being fair to him. I know you're scared, but he's one of the good guys."

"Yeah right, then why was some girl all over him?"

"Was she really all over him or were you making a mountain out of a molehill?"

"Well, she hugged him and kissed him, on the lips!"

"That doesn't mean anything, he's a friendly guy, hell he kissed me goodbye on the mouth when we all went out to the pub last week, just like he did to Suzie."

Emma grunted. She had to admit it was likely he was just being his usual friendly self, something she loved about him, but how could she be sure? As far as she knew he just wanted sex, so yeah he'd been kind towards her, but he hadn't mentioned anything about them having a relationship, instead he seemed to just carry on as if he'd known her forever and it was a natural situation for him. He'd probably run a mile if she told him how she was feeling.

"Come on, let's go soak up some rays in the garden, I need a smoke." Holly interrupted her thoughts.

They sat on a blanket laid on the grass, listening to the soft sounds of music coming from a neighbour's house. Talking about everything and nothing all at once. Just easy conversation, about how Emma's new job was working out, the guy that Holly had been on a date with recently, and how they must get something arranged for Holly's upcoming birthday.

Emma felt so grateful to have such a good friend, someone who listened to her, and could point out when she was wrong. She shuffled her bare legs on the thick blanket, seeing where the sun had caught her skin below her shorts. She wondered what James and his friends were doing, were they sat outside in the sun too? There was no getting away from it, she had to find out if James wanted her or the sex.

"I think you should tell him about Steve." Holly told her when she asked her opinion, her red hair shining like rubies in the sunlight.

"I don't know. I don't want him to think badly of me."

"You need to be honest with him, give him a chance to show you what he's made of."

Emma looked at her friend's pretty face. Just maybe she was right, she couldn't lie to herself or him any longer, at least if he turned away she could work on getting over him.

"What have you got to lose?" Holly asked.

"You're right." Emma conceded.

"I know, that's why you pay me in tea." Holly grinned. "I think there's going to be a storm tonight."

The rain was just starting to come down when they rushed inside, Holly grabbing her bag to get home before it started storming. Emma felt much more positive already as she led her best friend in the whole world to the door, they hugged tightly and Emma watched her run down the street.

**

James saw her standing there, the rain falling gently on her hair as she waved goodbye to Holly. He was feeling rather drunk, and he couldn't just stand there while she looked so tempting across the road. He needed to know why she was pushing him away.

Emma looked over to James' house just in time to see him jump over the gate to his back garden. His dark blonde hair looked darker than normal, and the curls were even more wild from the rain splashing down on him. He looked stunning in a white t-shirt and cargo shorts, his muscles rippling with the movements he made towards her. Like an animal he strode over to her, his face firm, brows darkening the closer he got.

"We need to talk Emma." He told her, his blue eyes flashing with something that looked like pain to her.

"I know." She folded her arms over her chest, trying to desperately hold herself together.

"You're pushing me away and I don't like it one bit. I deserve to know why" He reached out to grip her shoulder.

"You're right, you do need to know. It's just so hard to tell you. I moved here to escape it all and now it's haunting me more than it ever did."

Emma felt tears falling from her eyes as she told him about Steve, how they'd been together for a couple of years, and she thought everything was perfect until he stopped wanting to have sex with her. That was when he started to become argumentative and threatening. She'd found him in bed with someone else before discovering that he'd had several affairs with women he worked with. She'd still been trying to work out what to do about it, and if she should try to make things work or walk away when three months later he'd been killed on his motorbike. That was when she finally realised he'd become more of a habit than anything else, when she couldn't grieve like she should have. When she'd felt sad for his family, but hardly at all for her own loss because it hadn't felt like much of a loss.

James stood there, rain drenching his clothing as it came down heavier, listening to her story. He drew her into the safety of his arms and stroked her back gently while she finished telling him everything. He was angry she hadn't told him before, but the relief that she was finally opening up to him overrode it until she started to talk about him.

"I was stupid to let myself get so involved with you. I know you're only young and not ready to get into a relationship with someone carrying so much baggage with them. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to go and fall for you. I thought we'd just have some fun and I'd make the most of it before you found someone else." She was sobbing as she confessed what a mess she'd made of everything.

James pushed her away from him, fury taking over him.

"You're obsessed with my age! For fuck's sake I don't care that there's a slight gap between us, just like I don't care what baggage you've got on your shoulders, can't you give me a chance to help take the load off? Can't you trust me enough for that?"

Emma gaped at him, he was shouting at her, eyes blazing dangerously, as she heard his words. Did he want her as well? She wasn't sure she could believe it.

"I mean, Jesus, Emma, all I want is the chance to be with you. I don't know where you've got this notion from that I am some womanising arsehole. Frankly, it's damned insulting! I'm not prepared to fuck you and then walk away, I can't do that again, so if you just want sex from me you can bloody forget it!"

"I don't want you to walk away!" She shouted right back at him. "I want you... I just bloody want you!"

"Why? Because I'm good in bed? Is that all I am to you Emma?" James threw his hand to his soaked hair, gripping it hard as his heart broke in front of her.

"Because I fucking love you!" She cried out, unable to believe she was messing it all up.

James stared at the face that featured heavily in all of his dreams, the one he thought of all day at college and work, and then again at night when he wasn't with her. The brown eyes coming alive with emotion, and the hair that hung heavily from where it was tied, dripping rain down her shoulders. Had she just told him she loved him?

"Say that again." He begged, stepping closer to her.

"Because I love you." She whispered back, raising her head to look at him as he swooped down towards her.

His wet lips pressed firmly against her own, giving off sparks as they caressed urgently. There was nothing soft or gentle about this kiss, it was full of emotion and demands. He licked her tongue as she flicked it into his mouth. His hands gripping her shoulders, pulling her body tight against his own, as he kissed her like a man possessed.

James felt her arms reach up to run her fingers around the nape of his neck and into the wet curls. The thunder rumbled and lightening flashed around them as he lost himself in the taste of her mouth. She set him alight, nibbling on his lower lip before pulling away.

He looked at her, wanting to show her how much she meant to him, and silently he pushed her door open, pulling her into the dry house with him. Kissing her hard his hands squeezed her sexy arse lifting her up in his strong arms, her legs wrapping easily around his waist as he slowly carried her through to the living room, losing himself in her. As they neared the sofa she dropped her legs, and pushed him away.

Watching his eyes she pulled her wet vest over her head, revealing bare breasts glistening with rain. He stared back at her intently, ripping his own t-shirt off, and pushing his boxers to the floor inside his shorts. She followed suit, unzipping her own shorts, and wriggling out of them as they attempted to cling to her skin.

They reached for each other at the same time, lowering themselves to the floor, pushing their wet clothes away and falling into each others arms, kissing with wild abandon. Emma straddled his hips, needing to feel him inside her as he tweaked her nipples in his hands. She guided his hard cock with a hand as she pushed down on it, taking it slowly all the way inside her, never breaking contact with his eyes.

James gasped at the feeling of her sliding up and down on him. She was so warm and wet, welcoming him inside. He placed his hands on her hips as she put her palms on his chest, putting her weight on her arms. He was drowning in her brown eyes as she moved on top of him sensuously. He could hear the rain on the windows, what light was left stroking her body, illuminating her curves to his greedy gaze.

She ground her pelvis into his, fingers touching his strong chest feeling the rain that covered him as much as it did her. He helped her thrust, pulling her onto him in rhythm with her motions, his large hands firm on her hips.

Watching him, she called out that she was close, he saw her orgasm take hold in her eyes as she heaved above him, breasts slapping on skin with her movements. She cried out, grinding her clit into him, shuddering and shaking as she slowed down to revel in the moment.

He rolled her over suddenly, taking control of their lovemaking, sliding his cock in and out of her wetness. Kissing her mouth as he showed her what she did to him, how she drove him insane with need for her. Ramming hard and slowly withdrawing, feeling her muscles squeezing him as he drove her back over the edge. He planted his hands on either side of her, holding his weight above her, his blue eyes sparkling in the dimming light. The words came to his lips as he moved himself in her.

"I love you too Emma." He whispered tenderly, his balls tightening up, cock pumping his seed freely inside her, as he came with a wild growl, his heart exploding in time with his orgasm.

His arms remained locked into place, body falling still as they just looked into each other's eyes, seeing the love they both felt reflecting back at them.

"We can take it as slowly as you want to, just don't push me away again, promise you won't walk away from me." He asked her.

"I promise, I won't. I'm yours James, all yours."

They held onto each other as darkness took over the house, the summer storm raging outside, lightening streaking through the curtains as they lay there contented in each others arms. Hearts full of hope and faith in each other.

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