Enchantress

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After the fisherman who found the intruder was thanked by the emperor of the Agatean Empire {actually the emperor of the Agatean Empire is a seven-year-old boy who was too absorbed in a toy drum to be concerned with a mere mortal simpering at his throne. The Prime Minister thanked the fisherman and gave him an Agatean gold coin and was led away by a guard who then executed him for the sin of addressing the emperor while dressed in his work clothes. However, his body was not thrown to the dogs, there's a famine in the empire and it's a sin to waste meat} Once the fisherman was led away the Prime Minister turned to the naked, one eyed prisoner whose only speck of clothing was a silver key worn on a ribbon around his neck. "Why did you invade the Agatean Empire sir spy?" He demanded this in a loud voice which echoed throughout the palace.

"A spy?" asked the child emperor without looking up. "So boring... can we eviscerate this one?"

"I'm not a spy," said Nick. "I'm a dragon."

"You don't look like a dragon," said the Prime Minister as he twirled his long, luxurious mustache.

Suddenly the throne room was filled with a huge golden dragon {accompanied by the sound of breaking chains and the shrieks of crushed guards} The dragon snarled and glared at the Prime Minister who was frozen in mid-twirl. "Ok, yeah. You're a dragon," he said in a tiny voice. "How can the humble Agatean Empire serve such a noble dragon as yourself?" asked the trembling Prime Minister.

"Lead me to your largest library."

"As you wish!" with tiny mincing steps the Prime minister led the dragon across the cricket pitch size throne room to a large golden curtain. With a wave of the Prime Ministers fan, a pair of guards opened the curtain.

"Where is it?" demanded the dragon.

"Ummm" with his folded fan the terrified Prime Minister pointed to a small bookshelf that held some coloring books and a box of crayons.

"DO NOT TRIFLE WITH ME!" roared the dragon.

"That is it!" shrieked the Prime Minister, "That is all that remains! His majesty grew tired of his reading lessons so he ordered all books burned."

"AND YOU BURNED THEM ALL AT THE DIRECTION OF A CHILD???"

"Now that you put it that way..."

"You tire me," groaned the dragon, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't bite you in half and then urinate on your corpse."

"We can fix that eye problem of yours..."

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In the bookstore Octavia fumbled for a match and finally lit the candle on Nick's desk and the ghost of Besingger Floyd, T.R.W.O.V.R. {The Revered Wizards of Various Realms} appeared and as usual he appeared sleepy. Octavia opened the desk drawer and saw that it was empty. "Where is Nick's key?"

"It's on a lanyard around his neck, like always."

Octavia looked into the empty desk drawer and hope began to surface. "Is he alive?

"I don't know, I would assume so because the key is not back here."

With a dry mouth Octavia asked, "is he moving? Is he coming home?"

"I believe he is, yes."

She went to the in box where Bruce had left several hundred sheets of velum, all in need of enchantment. Grabbing the velum she said, "We're going to need these," then whirling on Besingger Floyd she demanded, "I need my magic back. Nana said you took it from me."

"I did not take anything from you," said Besingger Floyd haughtily. "I simplyturned it off."

"I need it back."

"I strongly advise against magic when you are in such a..." he cleared his throat then said... "delicate state."

Still not thinking clearly, she thought that he meant that she was still in mourning. "I need my fire back," she said holding up a finger. "We are out of matches and it's cold at night."

"I can do that," sighed the shade. Simple flame powers shouldn't hurt, should it? There has never been a pregnant wizard before, so there's no telling what a strong magical field would do to a developing infant in the womb.

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The Omnian Voyager was neither Omnian {as it was sailing the flag of the kingdom of Klatch} nor was it Voyaging {unless in some universe "Voyaging" also includes "sinking"}. The majority of the crew was either bailing water from the flooded cargo hold or patching holes in the hull while the old scow rolled at anchor. The portion of the crew that wasn't patching or bailing was in the rigging desperately trying to furl the sails before the storm hits and blows them into the Agatean coast where they will be hunted down and killed by Tang mercenaries, or worse, be blown off the edge of the disc.

"Ahoy!" called a voice from the dark.

"We're a little busy right now, we don't have the hands to rescue our own who go overboard let alone a stranger," replied an overworked sailor.

"I know, I saw that. At least he didn't suffer too long."

"What... what do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it, circle of life, eh? I just need to know, which way to Ankh-Morpork?" asked the voice in the dark.

"Ankh-Morpork? You don't want to go there, not at this time of the year, in the summer heat? The place smells like a rotting corpse."

"Which way is it?"

"That's on the other side of the world, five thousand miles around the Cape of Lost Hope."

"How about Four Ecks? How far is that?"

"Less than fifty miles turnwise... How blows the storm?" asked the sailor.

"Wellllll, I got good news and I got bad news for you,"

"What's the good news?"

"When your rusted anchor chain snaps you won't go over the side of the rim!" called the voice from the dark trying to sound enthusiastic.

"That's good, what's the bad news?"

"There's a famine in the Agatean Empire, you'll probably end up served as the blue plate specials." There was a splash and the sailor saw the flip of a dolphoon tail and whoever was in the water was gone.

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"You seem to be in a good mood today," said Aelwen McLeish as she sat on the porch with Octavia Aelwen came hearing that there was a witch in Creel Springs but unfortunately, he was out.

"I am in a good mood, Nick will be home soon, just in time for little Ceiriog or Ceredwyn," said Octavia as she gently patted Aelwen's huge tummy. "Maybe even today!"

"Ian and I will be happy when we get a proper witch again. We like Nana Partridge, but being a ghost makes childbirth a wee bit difficult. I'm afraid she'll drop the baby."

"And you're ok with Nick being a male witch?"

Aelwen McLeish reached out and took Octavia's hand and placed it on her tummy so Octavia could feel the baby kicking. "You will be feeling this come Hogswatch Eve, do you think you're going to care if your midwife is human, dwarf, elf, man, or woman more than if they're qualified?"

"How do you know Nick is qualified, and what makes you think I'm pregnant?"

Aelwen patted Octavia's hand while her baby kicked at Octavia's hand from within. "Ceredwyn knows."

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Bruce Dinkum, head librarian at Bugarup University, finished checking in a few more books that a couple of beery freshmen dropped off as the screaming outside started. "Ahhh, there's me mate!" said Bruce as he reached under the counter for a long necker.

"Too right!" yelled a drunk in the corner.

"Hell yeah!" yelled another as terrified crowds of people ran screaming past the windows.

Just then the front door burst open and a camel ducked through the door frame and started to walk through the library. All of the faculty and students present jumped up and shouted, "NICK!"

The camel looked shocked then it suddenly shrank and became a well-built but short man. Bruce put a beer on the bar in front of Nick and cried. "G'day mate!"

"G'day Bruce... blokes," and Nick raised his beer to the blokes in the back. He took a long, deep drink and placed the empty bottle on the bar. "How did you know that was me?"

"We had a report from a surfie that a dolphoon swam ashore, turned into a man, looked around, turned into an eagle and circled around for a while then took off heading this way. We figured you would be showing up soon. Didn't realize you be in the nuddy with your donger hangin' out."

"I have my house key, that's all I need," said Nick as he showed off his master key, still hanging from his neck on a ribbon. Then with a wink of his new eye he shrank below the edge of the bar and a coyote dashed into the library's aisles of books.

"I'll swing by with some prawn this weekend!" called Bruce.

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A carriage pulled by a pair of mules came up Nana's driveway. It wasn't very fancy, not for a queen, in fact it was a delivery wagon with a second row of seating for royalty, but this was Lancre, and when the carriage isn't carrying the queen around, it's hauling bales of hay and sacks of feed for the Lancre Farmers Union supply store. That's because the carriage isn't owned by the government, but the owners, the Farmers Union supply store will loan it to King Verence II, Queen Magrat, and her daughter Crown Princess Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling on occasion if there are no deliveries scheduled for that day.

Escorted by a pair of palace guards in ancient, ill-fitting armor riding ancient ill-tempered horses, the carriage pulled up to the front porch of Nick and Octavia's cottage. Octavia and Aelwen were enjoying the summer morning, the sun was up and it was going to be hot. Already the sun and the humidity rising off the forests were becoming a fragrant haze that hung in the air. Cicadas started to buzz as bull frogs in the pond belched and growled.

Octavia was shocked to see the queen of Lancre pull up to her house, but Aelwen smiled and called out "Good morning your majesty."

Octavia struggled to get up but Queen Magrat waved her hand and said "Sit! It's a lovely morning to enjoy the view."

"Come try this elixir your majesty!" cried Aelwen. "It's a draft made of bitter fruit and honey and is perfect for summer days."

"Then I must try," smiled the queen. Once a witch herself she is a strong believer in cures through natural products and fruit and honey sound like a perfect creation to her.

Star struck that the queen would come to see her, Octavia poured the queen, the crown princess and one of the guards a glass of her curative which Nana called Lemon Aid. "This is delicious, and why are you so nervous?" asked Magrat.

"I... it's just... queens don't..." Octavia stumbled and fumbled which she finally ended with an out of practice curtsey.

"My mother does," said Princess Esme.

"Oh! My gift!" said the Queen. "Dequator, could you bring my gift for our new wizard?"

"Yes ma'am," said the carriage driver and he stepped down, went around to the back end of the wagon and came back around with a baby goat in his arms. A baby goat was Queen Magrat's traditional gift to a couple expecting their first child.

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A coyote dashed out of the ranks of shelves in Nick and Octavia's bookstore, which in the mountain villages of Lancre wouldn't be a surprise, but the fact that it knew how to navigate the book lined canyons was a bit unusual even for Lancre, and it was able to unlock the door with the key around its neck was very unusual. The coyote stepped outside and changed into a man who locked up the store then stood, hands on hips and took a deep breath of fresh mountain air.

"Gods how I love this place," he said, followed with "Good morning Mrs. d'Mahrk!"

"Good morning Nick, you better hurry, Hamlette and I saw the queen's carriage head up your driveway not a half hour ago."

"Thank you ma'am," called Nick and he sprinted up Main Street. As he ran he suddenly became an eagle who flew up the tree covered street. When he neared an opening in the branches, Nick flew up through the gap and strained for altitude once he cleared the trees. His next trick should impress the queen.

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"That is a darling gargoyle," said Crown Princess Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling. "You don't often see a gargoyle on a thatch roof cottage. Did you bring it from Ankh-Morpork? Our castle would look brilliant with an entire series of gargoyles."

"That's Gula, she's not an ornament, she's our friend," said Octavia. "She joined our happy little group the week Nick and I first met.

"I had been meaning to ask," said Esme, "your husband has such a delightful name, Pommeraie de la Montesquieu, it simply rrrrolls off the tongue, why do you call him Nick?"

Before Octavia could answer they were startled by Gula. "IIIIIIIIK!" Gula shrieked in joy and she fell horizontally from the porch all the way over to the waterfall that feeds the pond. Gula seated herself at the top of the waterfall then leaned her head back in salute and water fountained out of her mouth {filtered free of minnows, crayfish, and tadpoles} high into the air. Her fountain sparkled in the sunlight and cast a large eight colored rainbow that glittered brightly in the clean Lancre air.

"Oh, how beautiful!" the queen laughed and clapped her hands but Octavia wasn't paying attention to that, she stepped off the porch and was looking up into the sky where an object far up was turning lazy figure eights in the sky... the sign of perfection, which describes his love for her... the sign of infinity... the length of time that Nick said he would love her...

As the object came lower they could see that it was a bird, but it was huge! It had a black and gray body that was massive, like a huge oblong ruggers ball that the Four Eckians love to fight over. It had a long neck with a big heavy head armed with a sharp beak that was filled with even sharper teeth. Its legs were tucked into the body, which was amazing considering how long they are, and the tail trailed behind. Occasionally the tail would open to help slow down its flight, or maybe he was just showing off, but it was brightly colored and decorated with dozens of red, white, and blue roundels. The most impressive part was the wings, they were incredibly huge, the overall wingspan had to exceed 25 feet from tip feather to tip feather.

"It's a rok," gasped Octavia in awe. Three times bigger than the emu, the rok is fully capable of flight and only found in the far outback of the four ecks bush country.

With a roar the bird recognized Octavia as she stepped off the porch and walked out into the open and waved up at the bird. It tipped sideways in the sky and performed two very tight circles over Octavia losing altitude, then it leveled out and shot out over the pond. It then turned 180 degrees and came back, wings spread, tail wide and folded down shedding speed as it flew straight at Octavia only inches off the surface of the pond. Gaspode danced excitedly on the shore shouting, "Bark! Bark! Bark!"

Octavia walked out into the pond, a huge smile covering her face as the massive bird slowly approached, it was hard to believe it could still fly with such slow air speed! She walked out into the pond waist deep and held her hands wide open. Finally, the bird pulled straight up which brought it to a stop just above Octavia, then it fell from the sky and as it dropped it shrank and became Nick as he slid into the pond and took Octavia into his arms.

Queen Magrat and her daughter, along with Aelwen sighed as husband and wife reunited waist deep in their own pond, kissing like it was the first day of their honeymoon and no one was watching.

They pulled apart and looked at each other's smile then gasped, "Your eye!" Nick's new eye was solid gold but it could see so much more than ever before. He just grinned in response and began to kiss and gently gnaw at her neck.

"That was amazing!" gasped Princess Esme, still shocked and delighted at Nick's arrival.

"I wonder if we can convince him to perform that trick at our emerald anniversary," muttered Queen Magrat. Next year will be the twentieth wedding anniversary of King Verence and witch Magrat Garlick.

"I don't think we would what him to do that," said Princess Esme as all three women's heads pitched to one side and their eyebrows raised as Nick's hands boldly explored Octavia's body.

"That is a favorite at my house," said Aelwen. As Octavia struggled out of her wet dress and the couple eased down into the soft grass Aelwen cleared her throat and said, "is there any chance I could get a ride home from you yer majesty?"

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Epilogue

Seasons came and went and Nick and Octavia's first winter in the mountains was a real learning experience, and as their family grew, Stein cottage grew with it. Every now and then Nick would tell Octavia that she was expecting and she wouldn't believe him until the cottage grew, which it always did. In fact, that's how the Stein kids knew they were getting a new baby brother or baby sister. Maybe a room would be added, maybe more storage, but the house knew what the family needed.

"Did the cottage expand for you also?" Nick asked Nana Partridge one cold autumn evening.

"Yes it did," smiled Nana who famously had nine children. "However, it retracts back into itself as the children leave... it's always sad to lose a room," the ghost sniffed. "It was a one room cottage for many years after I died, but it started expanding one day and I knew you were coming."

The bookstore became a center for book learning and book writing and occasionally Nicks refuge from family, pregnant farm girls, and sick farm animals. {But they always knew where to find him} Such is the life of a country witch. But a country witch has their limits, they can only heal so much, there is no cure for old age and Gaspode had a terminal case. He helped the Stein kids grow as much as he could, but in the end even a wonder dog meets his end. His last months were spent being cared for by the children of the first child he ever loved. He had a big pillow in front of a fire and all the blankets he could want. The children brought him water and all the snacks and treats a dog could want including the occasional cat nugget from the litterbox.

Nick would sit with Gaspode every chance he could and he read Gaspode the stories of the discworld that he got from friends, friends of friends, and Gaspode himself. "I'm going to sell them someday and you and I are going to be famous."

"Right," groaned Gaspode after hearing the story of the very first tourist on the discworld. "Who is going to believe in a wizard named Rincewind?"

"It could happen," insisted Nick.

When Death came for Gaspode, the wonder dog was surrounded by the entire family, all five children, Nick, and Octavia. They sat around Gaspode's bed as he panted, not saying goodbye, but saying thank you. Each child recited their favorite Gaspode story and when they were finished a figure in black shrouds carrying a scythe appeared behind the twins Llywellyn and Llewela. If they saw Death they didn't mention it, but Marlon the oldest and Hollie his sister saw death and gasped.

"Please," begged Nick, "he's in so much pain and I can't help him."

"SOMETIMES I AM WELCOME," said Death as the image of Gaspode, young and sassy jumped around death's ankles.