Entertained Enough by Love

I was a young, healthy, heterosexual male and the pressures started to build about three months after Lexi and I split up. An expedition to the local "body shop" was looking like my only course of action when the fickle gods decided to help me for a change and brought me Beth.

Beth and I had met in high school and even dated a few times. Nothing serious came of it because we discovered we would be better as friends than as a couple. I even introduced her to Sam, the guy that she went steady with all through high school. We ran into each other at the student union one day; I had been so involved with Lexi, work, and my classes that I didn't even know she was in school.

She and I sat and talked for two or three hours, sort of renewing our friendship. I told her about Lexi, the baby, and the break up and divorce. Beth told me that she had been engaged to Sam but she caught him in the back seat of his car with some skank from another school. Thus she wasn't engaged anymore and Sam lost one of his front teeth.

We went out for pizza on Saturday night, just as friends. That soon developed into friends with benefits type of situation. Beth and I both wanted to concentrate on our education and didn't want to get into relationships or dating so we decided to help each other.

Beth and I knew we could never be a loving couple but we were good friends and enjoyed our time together. For the next two and a half years we would help "release the pressure" for each other. A couple of times a month, sometimes more, we would get together to unwind.

Most of the time we went to her place or if the weather was warm out to the quarry or down by the river for our little get togethers. I had a basement apartment with an outside entrance at my parent's house, but I was worried about trying to explain Beth to my mom. I know my dad would have understood.

After graduation, Beth moved to Texas to start her career and I never saw her in person again. We talked a few times and emailed each other but those gradually came to an end. New careers and new friends didn't leave us much time to continue our friendship especially from long distance.

I received an invitation to Beth's wedding. Due to time and work constraints I couldn't go but I sent her my best wishes. Beth was the best friend that I ever had; not because of the sex but because I could talk to her about anything. I hope she will be happy; she deserves it.

I applied myself to my studies with a vengeance and graduated second in my class. One month after graduation I started a new job with XYZ Corporation. I was 22, a college graduate with a bright future and alone in the world except for my parents.

******************

A little over a year into my job, I received a promotion and got my own office. Until the company could find someone to be my secretary, one the girls (maybe I should say women) from the secretary pool was assigned to me. That was Bobbie Joe Sawyer.

I hadn't been celibate for the year after graduation but I had purposely not gotten into a relationship with any of my dates. Well meaning friends would set me up with dates and some of them led to the bedroom but I didn't let any of them become serious.

Maybe it was Bobbie Joe's Texas twang; she was from Big Springs, or her blond hair, brown eyed good looks that attracted me. She was tall at 5 feet 8 with a voluptuous body that could start a bar fight by her just walking in. It may have been a combination of all of this plus the fact that she acted like I was the reason that the sun came up in the morning.

Her adoration of me would have been embarrassing except that my ego needed something like that. I hadn't felt loved or wanted or cared about since Lexi and I broke up. Bobbie Joe made it apparent that she thought I was the best thing since the invention of television.

Our first date was for lunch where she informed me that her name was Bobbie Joe not Bobbie and on our second date we went for BBQ and to a movie. I think it was on our sixth date that I dressed in a coat and tie and planned to take Bobbie Joe to a fancy restaurant then dancing afterwards. We never made it.

On Friday evening Bobbie Joe answered her door wearing black lace panties and bra, high heels and nothing else. She said something like "Hi cowboy want'a ride this filly?" Then she grabbed my tie, pulled me into her apartment and proceeded to screw my brains out. Later Bobbie Joe said she was tired of waiting for me to make a move so she took things into her own hands. And I mean that in every sense of the phrase.

Now I've had experience with women but nothing like this. We did things to and for each other that I had only read about. I didn't leave her apartment until late Sunday evening and wouldn't have left then except I had to get home, get some rest and get ready for work on Monday.

Needless to say, our relationship took a giant step forward after that weekend. We spent as much time together as possible and continued to try and break new free world records in sex and loving. From the minute that Bobbie Joe grabbed my tie and pulled me into her place, I was hooked or as Bobbie Joe would say, roped and hogtied.

My first warning should have been when I took Bobbie Joe home to meet my folks. My mom, who could accept a room full of terrorists with guns, didn't like Bobbie Joe. Mom was polite but I could see that there was no real warmth there. That was strange; my mom liked everybody, at least until they proved they shouldn't be liked.

I took Bobbie Joe home and when I got back to my house I saw Dad on the front porch and joined him. "Well what do you think of Bobbie Joe, Dad?"

"Well, she is certainly a pretty thing and she brightens up a room don't she? It's more important what you think of her James," Dad said. He usually had a direct, less than tactful way of talking and he was dancing around my question.

"Come on Dad, you're avoiding my question. What do you really think of her?"

He hesitated for more than a minute, gave a big sign, and nodded his head. "Okay here goes; don't let the fact that you're lonely make you do something you may regret."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I was a little upset about what he said.

"Bobby Joe is very pretty and you can't help but like her, however when you look at her I don't see the love there. There's no doubt that you like her a lot, but will that be enough in the long run?"

"Bullshit," I said and then stomped off the porch to go to my apartment. I guess I was upset because I'd wanted him to approve of my choice.

Three months later Bobbie Joe and I "eloped" from St. Louis across the Mississippi River to Belleville, Illinois to get married. In the state of Illinois you can get a marriage license and be married on the same day as long as you are of legal age. I was almost 24 and Bobbie Joe was 19, so we got married on a Friday afternoon and spent our three day honeymoon in the best hotel in town.

Bobbie Joe talked a lot about her folks during our relationship and mostly about her "Daddy". I thought it kind'a cute that a grown woman still called her father Daddy, at least for the first two months; I began to wonder if she had an obsession with her father because hardly a day went by that she didn't mention "Daddy". She had to transfer to a different department at work because company policy wouldn't allow spouses to work together. She said that I was her only real friend and didn't really like having to leave our department.

To say that my folks were less than overjoyed would be a gross understatement. But being the kind of people they are they welcomed Bobbie Joe into the family. I moved into her apartment and we planned on getting a house later on. We had discussions about starting a family but neither of us seemed in too much of hurry to do so. I guess we both wanted to get a little more settled in our jobs before taking that step.

We had been married about six months when she began to talk about going home to visit her folks and friends, which was a little strange. Bobbie Joe had always claimed that she couldn't wait to get out of the hick town of Big Springs and away from all the hayseeds that lived there; now she wanted to go back. I guess she missed her folks.

I couldn't take the time off work right then but I told her to take a long weekend and go visit her parents. They hadn't been able to come to our wedding because we eloped and she hadn't seen them in quite a while. She arranged for a two days off work and flew to Midland and her folks picked her up at the airport for the fifty mile trip to their place. Bobbie Joe left on Wednesday evening and came back on Sunday afternoon.

She was really happy to see me when she got back and we spent the entire evening making up for our time apart. For the next few days Bobbie Joe talked about her folks and what her friends back in Big Springs were doing.

Bobbie Joe changed after her visit home; there were times that she seemed to be off in another world. She would sort of stare off into space and when I asked her if anything was wrong she would just smile, give me a hug, and say everything was fine. But she certainly had something on her mind.

One month to the day after her trip home Bobbie Joe asked, "Have you ever thought about living somewhere else James?"

I had a feeling where this question was leading but just answered, "No, I like this town. Why?"

"Oh nothing really, I've been talking to my folks and they think we could do real good in Big Springs," she happily informed me. "All my friends seem to be making a good living there."

"I thought you hated that "hick" town as you called it and didn't want to be around those "hayseed friends" anymore." I reminded her.

"Well I thought I hated it too but after going back for a visit I realize that I want to go back; I think I belong there." Bobbie Joe had that far away look in her eyes again.

"Maybe we could visit your folks five or six times a year. There's no reason you can't visit and I'll come with you when I can get off work. I just don't want to move to Big Springs. My job and my future are here," I said. I was hoping that the suggested visits would solve the problem because I had no intention of moving to Texas.

A month later Bobbie Joe brought up the idea of moving to Texas again. "James, my daddy has set you up with a job at the Midland Oil Company as the business manager. He said that you would be making a little more than you do at here at XYZ."

"I told you before Bobbie Joe that I didn't want to move to Texas, so just drop it." I was a little put out that her "daddy" would set up a job for me without even talking to me about it first. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble because I wasn't going to take the job.

"But honey the cost of living in Big Springs is lower than here and we could afford a nice house there for what we spend for this apartment. Besides Daddy and Mommy have found us a nice place to rent with an option to buy and I think we should go take a look at it." Bobbie Joe apparently refused to believe me about not wanting to move. "If we moved we would be much closer to starting a family, you know."

"I'm going to tell you this one more time Bobbie Joe, I have no intention of moving to Texas or anywhere else. I like it here and here is where I'm going to stay. And if you just have to go back to Big Springs, you'll have to do it without me. And that crack about starting a family is a low blow." I stomped out of the apartment and took a walk to cool down.

The next week I got a surprising phone call at work. It was from Mr. Sawyer, Bobbie Joe's "daddy".

"James I know we've never met in person but when you married my little girl you became part of our family," he said with the same Texas twang in his voice that Bobbie Joe had.

"I appreciate that Mr. Sawyer. But if this call is about me moving to Texas, let me save us both some time. I have no desire, need, or intention of moving to Texas. Bobbie Joe and I have a future here and I'm stay'n put."

"Now son, don't go off half cocked until you hear what the program is, okay?

"Mr. Sawyer save your breath, I'm not moving and that's all there is to it. And if Bobbie Joe moves back to Big Springs or anywhere else, she will do it without me. Now is that plain enough for you? Y'all have a nice day, hear." I hung up on him because I had had enough of this bull shit about Texas.

Let me explain a little about Tyler S. Sawyer, Bobbie Joe's dad. He put on the big Texan act, but he really wasn't that well off. He lived on his "ranch" as he called it; the ranch was about ten acres of Texas plains and not really worth anything. His only income was from social security, his pension, and a check from Midland Oil for the natural gas on his property.

No he wasn't an oil man; the checks were for between fifteen hundred and two thousand dollars a month. This was hardly enough to make Mr. Sawyer an oil tycoon. There's a saying in Texas that describes Sawyer perfectly; "Big hat, no cattle". It simply means that there's a lot of big talk with nothing to back it up.

That evening when Bobbie Joe and I got home, the temperature in the apartment was somewhere around freezing. After dinner I sat down in my chair to watch a little TV and Bobbie Joe came in and dropped onto the couch with a huge sigh. She kept glancing over at me and moving around on the couch waiting for my reaction to her sighs and her pouting.

Might as well get it out in the open I thought. "Okay, Bobbie Joe stop the theatrics and tell me what's put a burr under your saddle."

"How could you talk to Daddy like that and then hung up on him?" I didn't know if she was more upset that I hung up on her father or that I wouldn't go along with their plans for me.

"Bobbie Joe, let me put this in terms a Texan can understand. I'm not some bronc that has to be broken and trained to do what you want." My voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I'm really pissed off that you and your "daddy" would try to run my life. You could have at least talked to me to see if I was interested in a new job or if I wanted a house. But then you already knew how I felt about moving."

"But honey......" she started but I interrupted her.

I'm going to say this one last time, I'M NOT MOVING, NOT TO TEXAS OR ANYPLACE ELSE. If you just have to go back to your "daddy" and Texas you can do it without me." I didn't give her a chance to say anymore, I stomped off to the guest room and went to bed.

At this point, I begin to wonder if our marriage was a mistake. If Bobbie Joe was going to make important decisions for us without discussing them first, we were in serious trouble. I couldn't and wouldn't be a second class citizen in my marriage. In addition I wondered if I really loved Bobbie Joe. I hate to use an overworked line, but did I love her or was I in love with her? Maybe it was both or maybe it was neither.

I loved being with her, she was vivacious, funny, and always in a good mood. I loved the way she looked; it boosted my ego to see other guys look at her knowing that they thought I was a very lucky man. Of course I loved the sex; she made it a point to keep me well satisfied in that arena.

But did I love her or I was I in love with the idea of "us"? The problem about moving was just one of several things that needed to be thought about and solved if possible. I had to come to grips with how I really felt about Bobbie Joe.

If things had been freezing around our place before, they were absolutely arctic for the next few days. Bobbie Joe had already planned to take off the next week to do some personal things and a few things around the apartment. So we didn't ride to work together as we normally do and we only saw each other in the evening; she wasn't awake before I left in the morning.

There was no verbal interaction between us except for things like "pass the salt please". The evenings were spent watching TV or reading or anything that would keep us from talking to each other. We still slept in the same bed, but we never touched each other. As far sex, I would have gotten more action from a blow up doll.

Friday on the drive home from work, I decided that the whole thing had gone on long enough. This situation demanded a solution because I couldn't face another weekend in the frozen atmosphere at home. I thought that I would ask Bobbie Joe if she wanted to go out to dinner and maybe we could talk and come up with some way to solve our problems.

I walked into the house and felt the difference; Bobbie Joe was gone. I checked and all of her clothes and personal items were missing. On the kitchen table was a legal size manila envelope, a folded letter, and Bobbie Joe's wedding ring.

The large envelope contained the papers for the annulment of our marriage; all they needed was my signature. Bobbie Joe had left everything we had with me. She hadn't claimed any of the bank accounts and didn't want alimony. If these papers hadn't told me what was going on, her wedding ring would have. I picked up the letter and unfolded it. The letter read:

Dear James,

I'm sorry but I have left you to go back home to Texas. When I came up here to work, I really hadn't intended to be here too long, certainly not for the rest of my life. The problem was that I met and fell in love with you.

I thought that being with you and being loved by you would make it possible for me to stay here. I do love you but I want to live my life in Big Springs near my folks and friends. I know I'm being selfish but if I stay, I would probably begin to resent you for making me stay away from my home. We would eventually begin to hate each other.

You haven't done anything wrong, but I can't be the equal partner that you need and want. I guess I'm spoiled but I need someone to take care of me and protect me from the world. You need someone to face life with you and dare it to bring you down. I'm not that person.

So I've gone back home to Big Springs. You can see that I have had annulment papers drawn up and all you have to do is sign them, send them back to the attorney, and our marriage will be over. I thought that an annulment would be better than a divorce. But if you would rather have a divorce I will sign any papers necessary.

My first choice would be that you would decide to join me here and let's stay married. Please think about doing that, I would love to continue to be Mrs. James Kelly. I guess I will know you answer soon.

Our separation is on me; I have always been taken care of by Daddy and can't get use to being a stand on my own two feet type of woman. I know that you don't want to move but I hope you love me enough to become a Texan and let my daddy help you take care of me. Again I know that I'm not being logical asking you to love me enough to move when I won't stay there with you. I love you but I have to live here in Big Springs.

I love you,

Bobbie Joe

Well that certainly puts a period to the marriage, I thought. I really didn't feel as bad as I thought I should. Maybe that was the answer to my question concerning how I felt about Bobbie Joe. If I wasn't all torn up about her leaving, maybe I wasn't in love with her after all.

On Sunday I called Bobbie Joe at her parent's house and we had a long talk. I asked her to change her mind but she was tearfully adamant about her decision. After about forty five minutes of talking I agreed that an annulment would be the best way to go. I offered her half of the assets but she said she didn't want anything and told me to keep everything. Actually all we had was a few pieces of furniture and a moderate savings account.

"James, please don't hate me. I believe that I'm doing the right thing for both of us," Bobbie Joe pleaded with me.

"I don't hate you girl," I answered. "Take care of yourself and be happy, okay?"